me and my gf have different groups of friends. I managed to persuade her to spend more time with them because i said i need my space and time to do my own shit in the week. like get my sorry life sorted out without the constant distraction.

so she goes back to her mums on monday, and all's well.

then i try to ring her, can't get hold of her, her phones off. so i think fuck it.

then on tuesday she comes back, says she's been out with her friends monday/tuesday and her phones got no battery.

so i think "hmmmm" but fuck it she sucked my dick and was all lovey and shit on wednesday.

then she persuades me that she want's to see her friend (i don't know who this friend is i don't know where this friend lives) again on wednesday night,m she says she'll come back thursday which is yesterday, it's 6am friday now.

so on thursday night she texts my friend saying that she's going to go and see her dad and her grandad because he's in hospital (something which she has mentioned) blah blah etc.

so at about 10 last night i phone her dad, and it came as no surprise to me that her dad had not seen her for days.

so now i'm thinking where the fuck is she?

i have had it up to fucking here with this bitch, i have all her clothes here, what does totse think? nice little november the 9th bonfire?

She is either pissed off at you and avoiding you, just giving you your space like you ASKED FOR and out having her own fun, or fucking some other dude.

I think burning her shit would be an over-reaction at this point.

Is there any history to make you think shed be screwing around with someone else.?

yes, there is history.

i'm not going to burn her clothes right away, but i was thinking i might go and fuck her mum. her mum is always on my side and i think she wants it.

I'm gonna go round her mums house and have a little moan about her, then she'll be like, she is such a stupid girl, and she'll make me a cup of tea and sit next to me in her dressing gown like she always does.

then i'm going to be like wanna fuck?

ha! hope it works, regardless of if your gf is cheating or not.

And if can somehow manage to have a 3-way with mother and daughter i will hail you as king.

her mum works as a part time escort for an agency in bristol. she is kinky as fuck. the kind of kinky where her bedroom is off limits.

her mum is hot-ish and definately well within my league but fuck it, if she's gonna cheat on me i'm gonna fuck her mum.

actually i'm going to have a wank over her mum RIGHT now just to get my mind focussed.

Stifler - "MOTHER FUCKER!"


Fuck her mom.

Do it!

i'm thinking i've got 2 tactics here,

1st tactic: go round angry, saying i've got to pick up some of my stuff and then she'll be like what's up? and i'll be like she's cheated on me again, and she'll be like awww and then i'll use my barbarian rage to fuck her.

2nd tactic: go round sad, start crying saying "why? why did she do this am i not good enuff?" blah blah, then when her mum comforts me and puts her arm around me i'll fuck her that way.

what do you think?

#3: Use some of those Aussie bead toys - tell the mom it's a new ice cream food.

GHB processed by body. Mom is knocked out.

You fuck her and nobody's the wiser.