Would telling someone who broke up with you that you still love them be worthless?

I can't get my ex out of my head and still feel like absolute shit 99% of the day because of it. She broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago and never told me why. I can't tell if she wants to be friends or not. The only time we really spent time together was Halloween night. We got ripped and went trick-or-treating with a group of friends... (It was a new fucking low for me.)
I couldn't tell if she was still using me for cigarettes, if she still wants to be friends, if she was hitting on me, or if she was just being herself.

She offered to walk me to her house(which is on the way to mine) and since I had no idea where I was and had to be home by 9, I went with her. But she also had one of our other friends go, too.

I gave her a few cigarettes over the night, and she kissed me on the cheek after I gave her one of them. I know she hugs all her guy friends, but I've never seen her kiss any of them.

And one time while I was waiting for them to get their candy, she came up to me and just stood like 6 inches from my face and didn't say a word, just stared at me for probably about 15 seconds. I couldn't tell if she wanted me to kiss her or what. I wanted to really bad, but I didn't want to fuck up any chance of being friends with her if that's all I can have.

I mean, every time I see her, it's awkward. For me, atleast. We don't really talk a whole lot in school anymore, but it's not like we avoid each other.

For real, this is the girl of my dreams. I have never met any girl even remotely close to as amazing as she is. Until I met her, I hated the idea of marriage and spending money on women. Now, I would spend every penny I ever make on her and I seriously think I would be well beyond happy spending the rest of my life with her. I honestly would rather be with her than Jessica Alba or anyone else. I don't know why, but she is the only girl I find attractive, and I used to think most girls were. Shit, I still feel an orgasmic rush every time I think of her. The same one as the first time we kissed.

What should I do? How can I let her know if it doesn't work out with her current boyfriend, I would take her back while at the same time not seeming like I am head over heels in love with her and fucking up any sort of relationship we could have? Or should I not say anything?

I don't care how you respond, just don't say how there are other women out there because you don't know her.

Dude kinda the same thing is happening between me and my ex. except we lived together and broke up a week ago.

my girl still wants to be together but she is split between me and another guy... so for now we are friends with benifits. So I suggest you ask her if she still has feelings for you. Chances are she does. So It wouldn't hurt to ask and/or tell her you still love her.

if you want my advice ( which you probably do seeing as you're posting on totse) i'd say friends with benefits is possible. but in the long run you'd be better of forgetting about her. all girls are manipulative and deceptive to get what they want. it sounds to me as if you are just being used.

my girl still wants to be together but she is split between me and another guy... so for now we are friends with benifits. So I suggest you ask her if she still has feelings for you. Chances are she does. So It wouldn't hurt to ask and/or tell her you still love her.

What is wrong with you? Don't fucking touch her until she decides between you or him. She's living with you for fuck's sake.

OP, she has a new boyfriend already? :/

She's still fond of you. The worst thing that could possibly happen: she gets freaked and doesn't want to talk to you anymore. If she does legitimately want to be friends, she'll tell you she just wants to be friends, and that will be that. If she kind of wants you, you could be friends with benefits, possibly get back together. If she still wants you, she'll probably say something.

these things are tricky... ive been liking an ex of mine for a while now.

went to her house a few days ago and we uhh..;)... u know...


we played spyro.


btw i have no advice, im just letting u know im in a similar situation

Spyro? You stallion.

I would love to be friends with benefits, and I know I could have if I did shit differently from the start. She was ready to fuck me from the day we met. She asked me to go to homecoming with her the first time I talked to her(for a couple of minutes, like Wednesday) then the next time I talk to her, Saturday, she came to my house, then my parents left about 10 minutes later, then she was in my bed. Don't ask me why I didn't do anything, I regret it now. She then asked me out on Monday.
(Now, my nickname in school is Silent, so I know I didn't get her with words, and I'm pretty damn far from attractive, so I don't know why she wanted to be with me in the first place.)

I'm thinking she broke up with me because we didn't do anything. We went to the mall once, but she hardly said anything to me because she was talking to probably 50 other guys. That and after we started going out, I think we only kissed once in the entire month. So, even though we told people we were going out, I guess we really weren't much more than friends.

Just about everyone who I have talked to calls her a slut or whore, even people she's "friends" with. I know she's been with a lot of guys; I don't care. (I think that might be another reason she broke up with me. She was my first real girlfriend and the first girl I kissed. I told her that the first time she came over, though. So I think she would understand why I was such a fucking nervous loser when she was there.) But that might be more of a chance to be more than friends.

She hasn't really told me anything about what's happening. But I know she atleast met her current boyfriend before she broke up with me. I can only assume she spent the entire 4 day weekend fucking like rabbits because she broke up with me first thing when I got into school Tuesday.

But here's the best part: (Again, she hasn't talked to me about any of this, but I heard this from one of our good friends) She's going out with a guy in College... She's a freshmen.

I wrote her a note today that briefly brought up us upon other things. It was something like "Did you find that note you wrote me? I'm pretty sure I know why you did though, and I'm sorry. But I guess that doesn't really matter anymore. You know all I want is for you to be happy." Then it went on with another subject. Then I talked to her later and she told me that she would call me around midnight. I'm almost positive she won't though.

Anyways; how should I go about asking her if she wants to be friends with benefits? Ask her if she still has feelings for me? Go on with a speech about how I still really like her and want to be with her? Wait for a chance to kiss her? If she calls tonight, should I bring it up or is this really something that should be face to face? Or something like "What are you doing tomorrow?... If not, it's alright, but I really want to talk to you. Would you mind if I came over or would you mind coming over?"

If you couldn't tell, I'm the dumbest, most clueless motherfucker when it comes to relationships. Well, people in general, actually.

Tell her how you feel. If she feels similarly, she'll let you know. If not, then shit ain't gonna happen. There are no magic tricks. Well, there are, but they're not gonna work for you.

Invite her to your house to sit around, do whatever. Make sure it's really boring.

Look over to her, shrug your shoulders and just say "Sex?".

Seriously, do that.

The entire weekend before we broke up, I watched, like, 6 hours of the Mystery Method/Venusian Arts seminars, listened to a few hours of recordings and read some of the book. However I don't think that's anything close to what you mean by "tricks" because that doesn't really apply to getting back together with an ex...

I think you should stop obsessing over this girl. She obviously was using you.

It's better for you just to forget about it.

I assume your still a virgin from all of your other threads. It sounds like you dont think you have a chance with any other girls and all you wanted was ass from this girl. You know she was using you but you still decided to stay with her.

Yeah, I'm a virgin.
Yeah, I don't think I have a chance with other girls.
But no, I didn't just want ass.

Every girl I have met, there has always been something about them that I hated. But this girl, we have so much in common. She is exactly what I've wanted in a girl for as long as I can remember. She doesn't judge me for anything I do because she's doing the same things too (smoking, drinking, drugs, stealing, even though I don't do that a whole lot anymore) but at the same time, she got along great with my parents. She's incredibly sexy. She's fun to be around. I don't trust people for a damn thing anymore, but there is something about her- I felt like I could tell her anything the first time we talked. She (atleast seemed like she) actually cared about what I was saying. She doesn't think twice before sticking up for herself or her friends, even if she knows she's going to get her ass kicked. ...She's the most amazing person I've ever met.

I could keep going, but I think I made my point. If I wanted ass, I would have fucked her and never talked to her again, but she seemed really cool and I really wanted to get to know her better. I really could not have cared less if I never fucked her, but at this point, and I really don't want to admit it to myself, I've already lost her so I may as well fuck her because I have nothing to lose but my virginity.

Dude, I am in about the same position you are, and i feel for you. The best thing you can do is to be upfront about it. Call her up, say you need to talk to her, and do it face-to-face. Say your piece, see how she takes it. If she's not interested, you can probably still be friends, as long as you don't come off as creepy/obsessed, which you don't. You're past flirting and beating around the bush, you just need to tell her how you feel. Good luck man, and maybe i can scrounge up the balls to do it myself. :)

Just from reading your replies to random threads over the past hour, my respect for you has gone up X999.
Seriously, would you consider it creepy if I said I loved you? In a friend way of course.

I had to be home by 9

HOLY SHIT, I was laughing so fucking hard, if you're 13 then quit worrying about it. she's not the one.

I'm kind of going through the same thing right now, I was in love with this girl. she kicked me to the curb for reasons that I still don't understand, then when her boyfriend cheated on her, I thought she wanted me back but it turns out she was just using me. So I got pissed off and stopped talking to her. The sad thing is, I'm still in love with her.

I know you think you love her, but the best thing is to forget about her and move on. Trust me, you'll be thanking me later. If you really love her, you'll let her decide on her own what she wants to make her happy.
Don't be friends with benefits. That's the worst fucking idea I've ever heard.

The best I advice I can give you on women, you know...aside from the usual 'fuck bitches';

At any given moment, do whatever the fuck you want. Never, never deny your impulses. If you want to kiss her, do it. Nothing can go wrong. The worst thing that'll happen is she'll turn away, or stop you. It's a lot worse to not have tried and wonder about it later. Besides...women -want- a guy that isnt afraid to indulge in his impulses. Timidity will get you nowhere. And it goes for everything else you can think of. If you want to cop a feel, do it. Again, she'll stop you if you cross a line. You decide you want her ass when you're having sex? Go for it. You don't have to ask permission for anything. It doesnt just go for physical things. If you want to go somewhere, or do something, never stop to think how it'll affect her opinion of you. Never.

At any given moment, do whatever the fuck you want. Never, never deny your impulses. If you want to kiss her, do it. Nothing can go wrong. The worst thing that'll happen is she'll turn away, or stop you. It's a lot worse to not have tried and wonder about it later. Besides...women -want- a guy that isnt afraid to indulge in his impulses. Timidity will get you nowhere. And it goes for everything else you can think of. If you want to cop a feel, do it. Again, she'll stop you if you cross a line. You decide you want her ass when you're having sex? Go for it. You don't have to ask permission for anything. It doesnt just go for physical things. If you want to go somewhere, or do something, never stop to think how it'll affect her opinion of you. Never.

Well said. I have friend that wait till a few make out sessions have passed until they go for the tits.

Never really understood that. Or the fact that they're having "make out sessions" :p

Note: Personally I'd ask permission before putting it in the ass though. Things could get nasty otherwise. :)

OP! Self-confidence, my friend. If feels like you're obsessing over your ex- because you don't feel like there are other women that will like you the way she did. Not true! Either way, just talk to her. Communication is your friend.

I'm in a similar situation, infatuated with the ex and all. We never would have broken up if she hadn't have had to move. She did, we tried to stay together, we both got hurt and then broke up. I guess she likes me again but it'd be a LDR with a girl that cheated on me more times than I'd like to remember. Just kind of a fucked up situation. :(

I just read the first few lines of your post, but it's worth a try. One of my ex's have been on and off for 7 years. She would call me daily without failure, weither she had a boyfriend and I was drinking rum in Jamaica, I'd hear from her.

Not worth it.

Either she'll come to you, or you'll get over her. Either way, you are going to be okay with it. Just give it some time.

Spyro? You stallion.

oh i know... we were... really goin at it until she told me to stop

because i kept killing the sheep.

(to anyone suspicious; i am not speaking in code)

Wow, it looks like a lot of us are/have been in the same position. About half say to say something, half say not to... Fuck.

I think I'm just going to talk to her on Monday and see how she takes it. If there's anything less than "I still care about you, too" I'll just never talk to her again. Maybe that is what I need to get over her-not seeing or talking to her.

StarWarsNerd: I'm not 13, but in the past month, my parents found out I smoke weed and cigarettes, think I'm having sex(which is worse because I'm not...), they think I'm dealing drugs again, and I walked home after my curfew(11) absolutely trashed from a party. I'm sure there's more, but I think you can tell why my parents don't trust me.

You're still in school...You still go begging (trick or treating) and you are hopelessly in love with someone who has dumped you...You seem young enough to call sonny from now on.

Listen up sonny...I'm going to give you some advice straight from my own teenage experiences....

Leave it be mate...You're broken up...Deal with it.
Of course you're still going to have feelings for her but let me tell you now sonny, there's a whole world of women out there.
As for her kissing you, the cynic in me says she's just being a bitch and stringing you along...The other bit of me that doesn't have a label says she sees you as more than a friend because of the fallen relationship but not enough to be a boyfriend so she feels closer to you than other guys, which is why you get the kiss on the cheek.

I have just gotten in touch with a girl I went out with when I was 14...And she's still dropping bitchy little hints about how happy she is with her boyfriend and how great the sex is and how devoted she is to him...And this is eight years on!

She was great....I fucked up...But I digress.......

Life's all about moving forward sonny...Move forward.
Remember the good. Remember the bad. Enjoy the good memories and learn from the bad.

Just from reading your replies to random threads over the past hour, my respect for you has gone up X999.
Seriously, would you consider it creepy if I said I loved you? In a friend way of course.

Of course not.

Wanna fool around sometime?

Haha that's great. I've never been called sonny before.

I don't know why, but over the last hour or so, I feel like I don't care about her. It's awesome! I don't know how long this will last, but if I'm over her, I think I really just want to be friends with her.

My parents are going out of town for the night this week, so I think I may get some beer and weed and invite her over to hang out. Then kiss her and see what happens. If she's like "wtf?!" I'll just play it off as an accident. If she kisses back<...?...<sex!<getting my ass kicked by her boyfriend(if he's real, of course)

My parents are going out of town for the night this week, so I think I may get some beer and weed and invite her over to hang out. Then kiss her and see what happens. If she's like "wtf?!" I'll just play it off as an accident. If she kisses back<...?...<sex!<getting my ass kicked by her boyfriend(if he's real, of course)

Then you need one more item, sonny...Beer and weed are good....But you gotta get a nice hammer too...So if her "boyfriend" fucks with you, you can make him hurt! ;)

Hammers are good for that...Trust me sonny!

Or follow my original advice and MOVE THE FUCK FORWARD!!! :p

You've only been broken up for 2 weeks and she's already got a new boyfriend? She's not worth your time.

You'll get over her.

Hah... In the last month, I've lost my parents trust, my girlfriend, and today my dog died. Life's wonderful, isn't it?

Anyways, what are your opinions on why she kissed me? Yeah, it was only on the cheek, but we aren't in Italy. Do you think she really feels close enough to me where we can do that and it be okay or what? I think I might have fucked it up when she did that because I said 'Don't you have a boyfriend? I don't think he would like that.'

Come to think of it, even if I did kiss her, I don't think she would be too mad. Guys feel her up everyday. Shit, this one kid credit cards her all the time and she doesn't seem to care anymore.

*Kiss*

''(Checkk)!!!''

''My bad...'' :) ''Your' lips are so damn irresistible, I can't help it''

*rolls eyes and shakes head*

Thanks for the help so far!

i was once dumped and the excuse was one of those ones 13 year olds use when they cant think of anything. "im not ready for a bf right now" and she was seeing some scottish bastard the day after.

if you cant laugh at yourself'.... ¬¬

This is now my #1 strategy. I loev you, sb.

Well I hung out with her tonight for a couple hours with some friends. I'll get to the point. They were talking about who they had sex with and all that. She fucking listed like 10 guys who's virginity she has taken; two in the same week. Including one of the other guys we were with because he got her clothes off of a roof for her... So I'm just standing there thinking "wow... If I can't fuck her, I should just kill myself now because life fucked me." Then she asked me if I was a virgin, again, and I said yeah.

Then she started bitching because she wasn't getting laid and one of the other guys said I'd fuck her, and I of course said "yeah I will!" and she's like "Fuck that. I'm not taking another guys virginity."

Anyways: I asked her if she wanted to come to my house with some friends Wednesday to party. She didn't say yes or no but she probably will. Any tips on getting a slut into bed?

Trust me sonny...This chick is just a fuck now.
Would you seriously want to look into the eyes of the ex you've just gotten back with and know that she's fucked about 10 guys after breaking up with you in such a short period of time?
I know I wouldn't!

In regards to scoring with her, take some time to read up on kissing in one of the couple of threads regarding this (on the first page), get her drunk, use the tips you read up on, fuck her, let her fall asleep and go merrily on your way, happy in the knowledge you just scored. Then play some video games or something.

Then I talked to her later and she told me that she would call me around midnight. I'm almost positive she won't though.

Fuck fuckity fuck. You're nobody's lapdog, don't let her play with your emotions. She ain't so great, you're probably just blind. I know the situation you're in and I know that you don't want to give up on her, but keeping her around is just gonna be hell.

Just read the part about her fucking 10 guys, drop this bitch. It's not doing you any good, get out before you start falling in love with her.

She sounds like a raging whore. Don't even attempt to fuck her.

And for good measure, treat her like shit when she comes over. :)

-F☺rd

She wasn't at school yesterday, so I stopped by her house on my way home to see if she was going. She was sick. But she called me around 8 just to see what I was doing and said she was feeling better. I ended up going over there and gave her a ride to her friends house to get something. Then I dropped her off because she wasn't supposed to go anywhere. Then she called me at 10:15, I was borderline passed out and don't really remember what she said. But after the first week we were dating, she maybe called me once. Maybe she's on the rebound(he dumped her.)

She said she probably could come over today. So, if she wasn't lying... well, you know. But I'm not holding my breath.

You aren't listening...stay the fuck away from her

I went to her house yesterday... Yeah, I need to stay away from this manipulative girl.

I really need to listen to S&A.

For real, this is the girl of my dreams. I have never met any girl even remotely close to as amazing as she is. Until I met her, I hated the idea of marriage and spending money on women. Now, I would spend every penny I ever make on her and I seriously think I would be well beyond happy spending the rest of my life with her. I honestly would rather be with her than Jessica Alba or anyone else. I don't know why, but she is the only girl I find attractive, and I used to think most girls were. Shit, I still feel an orgasmic rush every time I think of her. The same one as the first time we kissed.


I don't care how you respond, just don't say how there are other women out there because you don't know her.

I couldn't stop laughing, seriously.

OP, how old are you, for reference?

I'm 24.

No... I'm actually 16.

Give it some time man...
If she's generally a slut and you don't just want to fuck her, things are going to go differently than she's used to.
And that's in your favor, you'll be like no one else she's been with, and also eventually, she'll not be able to resist having sex with you since she hasn't in a while.

She may even find someone else for a bit while you're not doing anything, who cares, you'll be different and she'll remember that.

Oh, and OP, my guess is that you don't know her either. How long have you two been together? A month even?

That's what I am hoping for. If nothing else, I'm still going to be friends with her. I mean, she's really chill, and most of the people that smoke and drink around here are no better than 7 year olds that forgot their ADD medicine.

I know her a lot better than she knows me, I'll admit that. She has told me pretty much her entire life story. Since I don't talk a whole lot, that's why she doesn't know me as well. I'm hoping that by just being friends with her, she'll get a good feel about who I really am.