So one of my close friends is leaving for America within a year - We're in London, England.

Basically, Our friendship has been really close - Like telling eachother everything - but all via phone/msn. We've only met up a hand ful of times but when we have - we've both found it immensely enjoyable. But study and stuff always makes it hard.

I cried for the first time in years when I heard the news. We are both open about the fact we "love" eachother. I think back to our second meeting and it makes me cry now. Holding hands, the joking, eye contact... I really fell for her that day.

Now to hear thats going.. It crushes me. I think of every little thing I could've done for her. Every thing that I didn't say.

She finishes school in the end of July, So I guess thats when the move will be. Now that may seem ages.. but it isnt. I've been counting down the days till I can apply for the army - 4 months to go.

My only concellation being that if my application goes forward - I should be leaving in September. But I've been thinking this could fuck that up by me being a bit down when I leave. (Although it would certainly take my mind from it)

Now when she told me I said "It can be a fresh start! You can be whatever you want to be when you get over there! You don't need to worry... etc.". I've just read something she said to a friend -

i accidently told someone about the whole thing. and they were like thinking of reasons why i should go. and then my best friend, she didnt really mind. and then the other person, was a bit "/ but still. making me think maybe its good if i should go.

I was thinking of reasons why she could go.. then I couldnt cope and ended up sitting in my garden messing about with a glowstick out of.. well.. numbness. I think shes taken it as if shes not wanted.. :\

I just feel crushed right now and need to vent.. arghh.

Aww.. i'm sorry to hear that.
Let her know that she is wanted. The move is going to be hard for the both of you. Try to make something good out of the few months that she will be living by you.
I'm really not sure what else to tell you :/