A friend of mine was dating this really cute girl. They'd been seeing each other for a couple of months and all was going great. Things changed a few days ago.

They were getting it on like a pair of drunken rhinos, when she did something that made him think of his ex girlfriend. 90 seconds later, as he blew, he called out his ex's name.

The worst/best bit, is that the ex has the same name as the girl he was fucking's twelve year old sister.

That's why my friend is now single.

It always warms my heart to know there are bigger fuckups than me in the world.

I mean, that's basically why I've been on totse for so long.

Woah...That's some heavy shit man.

How do you explain that and not get in trouble?!

Time machine + donkey punch = win?

How do you explain that and not get in trouble?!

Honestly... I don't think you can.

The best you could hope for is her telling people you're a jerk for thinking about your ex, instead of her telling everyone you're a paedophile.

Honestly... I don't think you can.

The best you could hope for is her telling people you're a jerk for thinking about your ex, instead of her telling everyone you're a paedophile.

Or deny all knowledge of saying the name and tell her she's sick for thinking about me fucking a 12 year old...And leave the room in a huff.

"Sam?...No woman I said DAAAAMN...I can see how you'd get confused seeing as we were sexing and all but yeah...DAAAAAAMN!"

ummmm one time i had to think about the girls name for a few seconds....

just dont say any name and your good.

Yep, agreed. This story was almost Ketchian in its level of 'fucked-up-ness'.

Although of course if he was a true Pro-Fucker-upper he would have indeed already slept with her little Sis...

Honestly... I don't think you can.

The best you could hope for is her telling people you're a jerk for thinking about your ex, instead of her telling everyone you're a paedophile.

I'm not sure. I'd rather my boyfriend was thinking about a 12 year old than some ex.
Fucking an ex, he might re-enact. But he would never fuck a 12 year old.

I'm not sure. I'd rather my boyfriend was thinking about a 12 year old than some ex.
Fucking an ex, he might re-enact. But he would never fuck a 12 year old.


Pah! If he could thunk it he'd bunk it.

Or deny all knowledge of saying the name and tell her she's sick for thinking about me fucking a 12 year old...And leave the room in a huff.

"Sam?...No woman I said DAAAAMN...I can see how you'd get confused seeing as we were sexing and all but yeah...DAAAAAAMN!"

Lol. 'Jennifer? No woman, I said, "When... it purrs..." I can see how you'd get confused..."

come on now! who hasn't screamed the name of a 12 year old girl when they were having sex? well not me of course. give him/her a back rub.

wow too bad man. Sucks to be him. He'll get over it.

Lol. 'Jennifer? No woman, I said, "When... it purrs..." I can see how you'd get confused..."

"No I didn't say Jennifer...I said shave the fur...Yeah...Shave the fur...I felt fuzz down there while I was going at it babe"

God damn am I just the craftiest mother fucker around?! :p

"No I didn't say Jennifer...I said shave the fur...Yeah...Shave the fur...I felt fuzz down there while I was going at it babe"

God damn am I just the craftiest mother fucker around?! :p

a wordsmith of the highest caliber.

"No I didn't say Jennifer...I said shave the fur...Yeah...Shave the fur...I felt fuzz down there while I was going at it babe"

God damn am I just the craftiest mother fucker around?! :p

Slippery than one of Tubby Isaac's best!

I'm not sure. I'd rather my boyfriend was thinking about a 12 year old than some ex.
Fucking an ex, he might re-enact. But he would never fuck a 12 year old.

Ugh, I can't understand how your mind works

I'm not sure. I'd rather my boyfriend was thinking about a 12 year old than some ex.
Fucking an ex, he might re-enact. But he would never fuck a 12 year old.

Well if he'd rahter pretend he's fucking a 12 year old than you, and he IS fucking you.. ..what's stopping him from considering a 12 year old? Apart from the whole fantasy does not equal reality thing.

EDIT: This isn't at all an insult!

"No I didn't say Jennifer...I said shave the fur...Yeah...Shave the fur...I felt fuzz down there while I was going at it babe"

God damn am I just the craftiest mother fucker around?! :p

Oscar Wilde would be proud.

Now what about Mulva?