Lets hear stories!!

I actually don't have any.

Although, I do have tons of stories about how I couldn 't ejaculate at all.

It can actually be quite awkward. Sometimes they ask questions.. To which I don't really have an answer.

I have stories where I came too fast, but it's like any story would go: fucking her a minute or two, ends, dissapointment on both sides.

Not like cumming without even fucking someone, though I've heard people tell stories (usually girls about ex-boyfriends) of people just grinding on/dry humping a girl and getting a nut.

Which do you mean? Explain yo'self.

Also, I feel like no other drug but weed makes you cum quicker. If you can at all.

I saw the title and had just intended on quoting a bit eddie izzard's story, regardless of what the topic turned out to be. So I suppose it's fortunate that all you want is amusing anecdotes.

I'm paraphrasing, but the basics of it all is that Izzard had lost his virginity before he lost his virginity. The next morning he was having the post-lost-v-card breakfast singing "cookin' up....bacon and eggs...freshly squeezed..mango juice" (here he's miming doing all of this excited cooking. She comes out and says "well you're rather chipper this morning", to which he retorts "yeah, cuz last night...ha...I.....LOST MY VIRGINITTYYYYYYYYY". "Oh? With Who?" she asks. (Here izzard mimes surprised double take several times) "With YOU! with YOU!" So she sits him down and they have a talk where the word "ejaculation", and the word "Premature" as well.

"No, no, mature ejaculation, not premature, mature ejaculation, wise-learned-man ejaculation...."

But she said no, she vetoed my virginity.



Yeah, so that's what Eddie Izzard had to say. I've never had a problem with premature ejaculation myself...quite the opposite sometimes. I never understood pepole's complaints about whisky disk, too often when I'm sloshed beyond recognition I'm harder than trigonometry for an underpriveledged drop-out, and she'll get off so much her mucus membrane won't allow any more lubrication.

Or "I'll fuck her dry" to the laymen.

It's a double-edged blade because some girls will think they owe me, and become unhinged freaks, and others will think they owe me, blame themselves, and become self confidence-lacking do-nothings in the sack.

I just brought it up because it's an issue I think isn't discussed often except for the standard "I cum too quickly, what should I do?" responded to with "This website says squeeze this muscle, this website says this...."

Its happened to me, it sucked, terribly awkward, I was so upset about it I couldnt get up again after 5-10 minutes like I usually would have been able to if I was into it. That made the situation even worse.

Anybody else have any stories, any surefire methods to overcome it. Or funny anecdotes would do too.

Had this problem myself when I was first starting out, scenario:
We're fooling around in her jeep, get into the back, getting frisky, she blows me, I beg for sex, she complies, don condom, thrust once, twice, thrice and I blow my load.
Yes, sometimes the vagina just feel so damned good, nothing else compares, not even her mouth. The SOLUTION, which occurred to me, I discussed with her and we put the plan into motion. You see, when you are wanking, fapping etc, you usually do it fast, but not that fast, when you enter the vagina you are experiencing sex, not simulating it with your mind and hand, the only thing to do is practice, in her vagina!
Tell her you need to spend a few days constantly inserting yourself into her, preferably sans condom. Fuck her with no more than two or three thrusts at first and then gradually build up your tolerance the the magnificence of the vagina. You will learn to control yourself with time, but tell her this, she'll feel more at ease knowing your problem and helping to achieve a better sex life for the both of you, make it a challenge and you will eventually find yourself a master of your own domain!

I remember once just chilling with this girl on her sofa. She was at one end, I was at the other, both just kinda wanting the other to concede and make the first move as the attraction was obvious. Long story short, the tension built up loads, finally threw her on the floor, got her jeans down just a little, knickers to one side, fucked her for 2 minutes until we came at the same time. There was me mortified at my early finish, and her calling it her best fuck ever because of the tension/relief/hard fucking/simultaneous cumming.

Premature ejaculation isn't the worst thing ever, just use your time beforehand well.

[QUOTE=Also, I feel like no other drug but weed makes you cum quicker. If you can at all.[/QUOTE]

It usually takes me A LOT longer to cum on weed

The time I lost my virginity is the only time it's happened to me. It kind of went down like this.

"Can you pull out before you blow? I haven't taken the pill the past 2 days"

"Oh shiiiiit..."

"What?"

"I just blew"

*get up, put on my clothes, walk away and leave her on the grass of the park*