About two months ago a guy that I cared a considerable amount about cheated on me. He had gone away from two months over the summer to a camp and decided to cheat on me with another girl. He broke up with me saying that the distance wouldn't work out (me going to college two hours away and him still being in highschool for another year). Now, he is dating the chick that he cheated on me with, although she lives five horus away from him. It bothers me I won't lie, plus the fact that I was going to tell him I loved him when he got back.

So I guess my question is, why is he even dating her? Is it to have control of the relationship, since he's the only one with the driver's liscense and a car. Is it so that he doesn't have to have her around all the time? Is it because he didn't want anything serious?

Or he's another asshole that cheats on girls. Just forget about him, drop contact with him and move on with your life.

The simple truth? He liked her more than he did you. And NO it isn't anything to do with your tit size nor the fact you didn't want to do anal.

Oh and he is using her for sex nothing more.

But I am so much deeper and more mature then her. How can he like someone more that has no substance? She's so immature. I just don't understand why he would keep her around when she is that far away, that naiive, instead of me?

I don't know if this will help but, I used to be the kind of guy that always and I mean always cheated on girls and the reason was because after awhile I just stopped being interested by them. They would speak and I would just not care about anything that they were saying. It had nothing to do with who they were or how intelligent they were they just weren't interesting.

And now I found a girl who I haven't even considered cheating on because I'm interested in everything about her.

So insummation not everyone is for everyone its not a personal thing so move on.

The cold hard truth is he likes her more than he likes you.

Sorry to say it but there you go.

Although there may have been some worry for him...You going off to college and doing what people in college do. Maybe he took pre-emptive measures to make sure he didn't get dumped or cheated on.

People are weird.

i've been in the same situation. well, almost.

basically, i found out he had 2(!) girlfriends that he just conveniently forgot to mention to me, even though he was with one of them for 2 years. nice, huh?

well, it's been over a year since i've seen him, and now he's realizing how much he fucked up.

at the time (last summer), he picked the wigger bitch over me, and i moved 1500 miles away for school and let it go (kind of).

this summer he called me begging me to let him come live with me because he dropped out of college, his god-father kicked him out, and his mom's boyfriend wouldn't let him stay at their apartment.

i also got to hear once again how fucked up and was soooo sorry and how he really wanted to be with me and he really did love me and he was just stupid back then and a whole bunch of other shit like that.

i haven't talked to him since july, then last night out of the blue i got a text message from him saying 'i'm sorry.' i wrote him back asking 'what for?,' and he said 'for fucking up our friendship' and he called me today saying again how sorry he was for hurting me.

if you really are better than the bitch he left you for, he'll come crawling back once you've moved on and found someone new and better.

Geee.... is somone here just a bit too full of herself?

Sorry sweetie... but anyone who is so THAT much confident that she is "so much deeper and more mature" is, in most cases really not all that much impressed with herself than a rival who "has no substance" that a guy left her for the other chick.

From my perspective... time to do some serious self evaluation. If you are deep and mature enough to handle that.

Geee.... is somone here just a bit too full of herself?

Sorry sweetie... but anyone who is so THAT much confident that she is "so much deeper and more mature" is, in most cases really not all that much impressed with herself than a rival who "has no substance" that a guy left her for the other chick.

From my perspective... time to do some serious self evaluation. If you are deep and mature enough to handle that.

QFT..

Youre starting to be silly dear.

Its not about you. All his egocentric, penis driven mind craves is another different girl.
HE is immature. HE has no substance. HE is naive. HE is a dickhead.

More importantly, YOU need to forget about him and move on. Plenty of men out there.

Geee.... is somone here just a bit too full of herself?

Sorry sweetie... but anyone who is so THAT much confident that she is "so much deeper and more mature" is, in most cases really not all that much impressed with herself than a rival who "has no substance" that a guy left her for the other chick.

From my perspective... time to do some serious self evaluation. If you are deep and mature enough to handle that.


BULLSHIT! The OP doesn't need "self evalution", she has made a logical evalution of where she is in the food chain vs. the other chick. We ALL do that to some extent. That isn't being pretenious, just looking at the BIGGER PICTURE of the universe. I've had it happen to me too, and I know for a fact that dude was/is/will always be more of a lowlife than me.

An ex of mine left me when I was 22, and I was the night manager of a hotel. We were together 2 years, with her ending things because of "my direction in life" and I smoked herb too much in her eyes. We maintain a friendship, and the next several months was a journey into the bizarre. Within a couple months she is very involved with an alcoholic who was also dabbling in coke and sometimes crack. And he hit her when he was fucked up. This chick was a fabulous art student at college who had dreams and the abilities to draw for Disney or Hallmark. In a year she drops out of school, moves in with this guy.....her working retail, him a factory guy.

The end of the story is she married him and had his babies. Last I heard they were still together. That was 15 years ago. For the 5 or 6 months we were still talking, hearing about her whole ordeal I was like......WTF????!!!?? I treated her like gold, and she completely slummed down after me. And ya know what, 15 years later I STILL DON'T GET IT! Seriously, don't waste too much energy trying to figure it out, cuz you never will. Its a futile endeavor and a complete waste of time. Move on, learn, live happily ever after.

Oh, and if this was the guy you were discussing in the other thread that was subjecting you to offensive name calling....then you haven't even "lost" anything. Good riddance. Don't settle for that shit anymore. You shoulda shown him the door long ago, cuz you are better than that. And of course always remember the fail safe method....."best way to get over a guy, is get UNDER another one". Enjoy and Good Luck!

best way to get over a guy, is get UNDER another one".

lulz.

BULLSHIT! The OP doesn't need "self evalution", she has made a logical evalution of where she is in the food chain vs. the other chick. We ALL do that to some extent. That isn't being pretenious, just looking at the BIGGER PICTURE of the universe. I've had it happen to me too, and I know for a fact that dude was/is/will always be more of a lowlife than me.

An ex of mine left me when I was 22, and I was the night manager of a hotel. We were together 2 years, with her ending things because of "my direction in life" and I smoked herb too much in her eyes. We maintain a friendship, and the next several months was a journey into the bizarre. Within a couple months she is very involved with an alcoholic who was also dabbling in coke and sometimes crack. And he hit her when he was fucked up. This chick was a fabulous art student at college who had dreams and the abilities to draw for Disney or Hallmark. In a year she drops out of school, moves in with this guy.....her working retail, him a factory guy.

The end of the story is she married him and had his babies. Last I heard they were still together. That was 15 years ago. For the 5 or 6 months we were still talking, hearing about her whole ordeal I was like......WTF????!!!?? I treated her like gold, and she completely slummed down after me. And ya know what, 15 years later I STILL DON'T GET IT! Seriously, don't waste too much energy trying to figure it out, cuz you never will. Its a futile endeavor and a complete waste of time. Move on, learn, live happily ever after.

Oh, and if this was the guy you were discussing in the other thread that was subjecting you to offensive name calling....then you haven't even "lost" anything. Good riddance. Don't settle for that shit anymore. You shoulda shown him the door long ago, cuz you are better than that. And of course always remember the fail safe method....."best way to get over a guy, is get UNDER another one". Enjoy and Good Luck!

Ask anyone here and they will gladly and promptly tell you that I am only most eager to admit when I am wrong. But, in this case... uh, what is your point?

Sorry shit sucks for you; my most sincere condolences on your situation.
But the OP still remains, in my humble opinion, an extremely narcisistic bitch.

Ask anyone here and they will gladly and promptly tell you that I am only most eager to admit when I am wrong. But, in this case... uh, what is your point?

Sorry shit sucks for you; my most sincere condolences on your situation.
But the OP still remains, in my humble opinion, an extremely narcisistic bitch.

My whole point is you are dead wrong calling her a narcisistic bitch, just because she has made the evalution that she is "better" than the other girl. If you are going to come on here and tell me that you've never "measured up" another rival for someone's attention....then I would call you either a liar or the biggest pussy on this planet. ESPECIALLY if you are a guy.

Myself, I'll take the OP's word for it that her evalutaion is accurate, considering it's her posting here and chances are we'll never hear from the other parties. Add to the fact if this IS the guy that was verbally denigrating her, then I'd say she is too much woman for this little boy......and that itself proves how much of a coward and pussy HE is, end of story.

Not only that, I'd rather she walk away from the relationship being a little too full of herself and confident to continue her life. An alternative would be she could go emo on us for a couple of years or swear off men, or at the very least be a MISERABLE partner for the next guy because of insecurity issues or some other mental malady. As just a human having to share the planet with her, I'd rather err on the side of possibly stroking her ego....and send her back out into the world confident, happy, and anxious for what comes next.

My whole point is you are dead wrong calling her a narcisistic bitch, just because she has made the evalution that she is "better" than the other girl. If you are going to come on here and tell me that you've never "measured up" another rival for someone's attention....then I would call you either a liar or the biggest pussy on this planet. ESPECIALLY if you are a guy.


Well then, call me a liar or call me the biggiest pussy on this planet... heck call me both. I admit that I take offense to either one, as I am neither. And, by your own testament, you should defend me because I came here on &Totse and said so.

But no, I have never "measured up" another rival. I believe that philosophy to be inherently wrong. If whomever I am with finds another person to be more desirable than I, then I wish them the best with who ever they decide to be with. And yes; I have done exactly that.

What are my options?

Beat up or kill my rival suitors.
Be more civilized like our caveman ancestors and club her then drag her by her hair back to my lair where I can keep her bound and gagged as my rightful property.

Of course not. If I were a modern-day 'gentleman' as you seem to perceive them, I would use the much more subtle psychological means of imprisonment and keep them as my consorts until, at some point, they would grow enough to resent me to the point of either escaping or killing me.

Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble this much, but the whole concept of 'dating ownership' really, really pisses me off.

My original comments were based upon the OP's comments that she was so much better than her rival. The only one who can evaluate, and resopond to such is the poor fellow who, as far as I know, has not posted his point of view in this thread.

Honey-Child, if I knew the answer to that one then I'd be richer than Bill, lying on the beach of my own private Island, surrounded by underage virgins dressed in french maid's uniforms all wanting to do my every perverted sexual bidding and bringing me a constant stream of drinks with umbrellas.

Perhaps he gets off on her immaturity? The fact she 'doe eyes' his every move?

Fuck knows.

Even the bible says its a mystery.

First off, phmeworp needs to get off his throne. I don't care what you say, every one has judged someone at one time in their life. And I am right in saying I am more mature than she is. She is the type of girl that likes something just because her boyfriend likes it. He likes Grape Gatorade, its all of a sudden her favorite thing. She was so against drinking and now she does it. I have a dignity. I like things because I like them. I drink because I want to, not so that I can use the excuse that "I'm drunk" just to get a guy to like me and lay me. I have self respect and will not degrade myself in any way, shape, or form like that.

With that said, I do believe I am more mature. I have substance, I know where I am going in life. And yes I realize that I don't need him and that he's an asshole, but it just irritates me. I am the type of person that always wants to know the answer. I think on it until I figure it out, and this situation just has no valid answer. "He's an asshole" just doesn't cut it for me. I already knew that. I want to know WHY someone would do that to another person; butter them up only to watch them fall. Tell them they had a secret for two months (hinting at saying "I love you") and then totally turning the tables so that it was all on me.

I don't get played, I always end up on top. And in this case, I believe I did end up on top but there's still that little part saying, well maybe not. And that's why I posted. To see if anyone could give me an answer. Maybe you have done it to someone. Personally, I think it's one of the most cruel things you can do. So immature... it hurts. I don't want him to be able to hurt me. I don't want him to mean anything to me two months later.

He could be afraid you'd cheat on him a shit ton at college and cheated himself to get an out.

She is the type of girl that likes something just because her boyfriend likes it.orm like that.
.

Maybe there's your answer right there, ie he's an immature little twat who needs that confirmation.

Chalk it up to experience ,girl and go find someone worth loving.

She put out on day 1.

If she's as immature, substanceless and naiive as you say, then that's probably it. Chances are your ex liked the fact she placed him on a pedestal and adored his every move (as you touched on). Whereas you have shown you can think for yourself and take a certain pride in yourself and what you do, this girl is probably pretty willing to just change to suit him.

So there you have it: he wants a girl with no backbone, who he can bend and shape around his life and interests, and get what he wants from her when he wants it from her. Fuck her whenever and wherever he wants, just because she's willing to please him so much, and convince her she likes it and wants it all the time too.

Which shows you exactly what type of guy he actually is. Weak and vulnerable, scared of a girl who'll stand up to him, disagree with him and actually make him feel wrong or weaker. He's not up to the challenge and obviously doesn't believe in himself enough. He's done you a favour in ending it with you before you slipped any further for this fool.

He's a cheating piece of shit. That's all you need to know. Why would you want to be with such scum? Be glad you know now rather than if you'd have continued to date him for several years and then find out about all the slags he'd been fucking.
It may haunt and hurt you for a while.
But deal with it, and know he's going to be fucking worthless skanks and picking up stds in an avalanchial movement throughout the rest of his short and unhappy life, whereas you'll eventually get a good guy who's fun and caring and actually deserves you.

I am glad that I got dumped before it went any further. On the one hand, I just want to tell her what he's doing to her so that she can get out and not get hurt, but on the other hand I want her to do to him what he did to me. Over their camp duration, she was cheating on her boyfriend and as was cheating on me (his girlfriend). So she's not all in the right. She may be dumb but she still knows how to play her cards.

It's just horrible how he taunts me on Facebook. He has all of her quotes in his Quote section that he changes on a regular basis, and then he updates his pictures of them laying all over eachother. And I kept help but know because that stupid website updates you on everyone's moves. I don't want to un-befriend him because that shows he won. In the end he was like, "You hate me now don't you? It's ok if you do, I would understand." He wants me to hate him, and I don't want to give him that satisfaction.

It's just horrible how he taunts me on Facebook. He has all of her quotes in his Quote section that he changes on a regular basis, and then he updates his pictures of them laying all over eachother. And I kept help but know because that stupid website updates you on everyone's moves. I don't want to un-befriend him because that shows he won. In the end he was like, "You hate me now don't you? It's ok if you do, I would understand." He wants me to hate him, and I don't want to give him that satisfaction.

When you log in, at the top of the first page, click 'preferences'. Then in the "Less About These Friends" list, type his name. You'll still get the odd thing about him, but generally it helps quite a lot, trust me.

Honey-Child, if I knew the answer to that one then I'd be richer than Bill, lying on the beach of my own private Island, surrounded by underage virgins dressed in french maid's uniforms all wanting to do my every perverted sexual bidding and bringing me a constant stream of drinks with umbrellas.

Lemme come, sunshine! :D