so i've been dating this girl for about a month and a half and things are going well. however lately i feel as if shes getting distant. like in the beginning she would always hold my hand etc, now she doesnt do it as much and what not. i confronted her about it and told her i feel like you're getting bored with me or something. she said nope she just has a lot on her mind lately. her life at home with her parents and what not is stressful and i know that. i think im just being paranoid, but im not sure. i dont know what to do. if i am being boring, what are some things i can do to spice things up? i dont want to have sex right now because i think its too soon.

thanks

She probably finds you boring. Do you talk about cars alot?

You sound like my boyfriend.

Hold HER hand, don't make her hold yours. Kiss her first, initiate things instead of her having to do it.

Excuse me if I read your post incorrectly..

my friend told me if i stop texting her/calling her she'll be more interested. i have no idea how or why that would work.

Girls...

The simple truth is no one goddamn knows what they want from a guy, least of all them. The only solution is the trial and error method :P.

It depends, are you spamming her phone? If so, easing off would probably be a good idea.

She either genuinely has a lot on her mind, and if that's the case how about cheering her up instead of harshing the vibe with questions about how bored she is with you. The alternative is that she could just be waiting for the right moment to dump you without hurting your feelings... has she mentioned what great friends you are lately?

Cut her off at the pass and bring the cheer, you might buy yourself a few more months.

Well dude I really just don't know what to tell you. Oh, wait, I think i've found the problem:

i dont want to have sex right now because i think its too soon.

Girls are fucking confusing.

That time of the month?

If things are getting 'dificult' after a month and a half, just think real serioulsy about gradually moving on.

One of the biggest mistakes we (both 12 and 55 y/o folks) make is to try too hard to make a 'relationship' work.

"What can I do to make her like me more?"
"How can I make him stay interested in me?"

It is precisely the above kind of mindsets that now puts the divorce rate at over fifty percent.

If she doesn't like you more... move on
If he can't stay interested in you... move on

Breaking up is hard to do. No one knows that better than I do. It hurts; it hurts a LOT.

But honestly... what are your options? You break up now, or you break up later.

If it doesn't click, it just doesn't click. If either has to 'work' at making it work now, it will only get harder later on. No question, it is a lot easier to put out a bit more effort now, no matter what the sacrifice may seem like, but in most cases it is just prolonging and enhancing the ultimate agony.

Look at me: I had misgivings early on. It was just easier to let her move in than to break up. It was just easier to let her go ahead with the wedding plans than to break up. It was just easier to let her control most of my life than to divorce her.

Long story short... 18 years after I said "I Do"... I said "I don't no more"

She left with nearly $1/2 M. I filed for bankruptcy (no kids, alimony or anything)

Sorry for the rant... but the bottom line is really quite simple:

Do NOT try to make something 'work' just because it will make you feel better today, or make you think you will hurt less tomorrow. The things you do today will, or at least can, affect the rest of your lives. You cannot make someone love you if they don't. They cannot make you love them if you don't. If you love someone and they love you, for god's sake just go for it. With that at your side, you face a somewhat better than the 50/50 chance of it working out. If not, I still do get a referral commission from my divorce attorney, so let me know, eh?

damn that sucks. sorry to hear about that. i never really thought of things that way.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you're always there, right in front of her face, it's going to be somewhat boring for her.

Keep your distance for a couple of days, always have somewhere else to be, or something else to do when she calls. When she is good and scared, ask her out somewhere and watch her fall over herself to say yes. The second you see her, give her the best kiss you can muster.

grand idea! i text her occasionally through out the day. perhaps i should cut back and what not.

This is such a complicated situation and there's so much going on that you aren't telling us - probably because you're not even aware of it yourself - and the story has been so simplified.

So I'm going to generalise and simplify this bit of advice: We are attracted to what we can't have, what seems too good for us, what seems to be out of reach. Women that stick around with men that treat them like shit do so, in a lot of cases, because the way their man treats them makes them feel inferior, and thus they feel that they are lucky to have that man in the first place. If you are all over your girlfriend all the time, and act like she's some goddess, she might like it. On the other hand, it might make her think that you're not good enough for her, that you're not her equal, that she can do better than you.

If you don't fuck her and notion that you want to fuck her soon, she may also begin to think that you're not much of a man. I know it sounds wierd and almost backwards, but a surprising number of women like their men to be proper men - men that think with their cocks, are strong enough to protect her, etc etc. It's instinctive to a lot of women to seek features like that. Not saying it necessarily applies in your case - if you generally aren't the man's man type then don't change just to keep one girl, simply concede she isn't for you and try to find someone that appreciates you for who you are.

Anyway, this could go on and on. Just try to put yourself in her position, and learn to appreciate the sort of qualities she probably wants.

If anyone ever finds a way to tell what girls want they will become instant billionaire status.

agreed.


well i was also thinking she seems kind of less "into" it now because when we first started going out she would always hold my hand etc... maybe the newness is wearing off and she is just getting comfortable?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you're always there, right in front of her face, it's going to be somewhat boring for her.

Keep your distance for a couple of days, always have somewhere else to be, or something else to do when she calls. When she is good and scared, ask her out somewhere and watch her fall over herself to say yes. The second you see her, give her the best kiss you can muster.

it seems like possibly in this circumstance it might be more like "out of site, out of mind".

don't smother her, but don't let her let you lose her either.

-F☺rd