If a girl gets a medical abortion (not the abortion pill) in her first trimester, what would the physical side effects be? I've googled this and apparently it's more hush hush than I would have ever thought. All I can find on it is post stress disorder stuff. I'm looking for things like soreness, when she can "get busy" again, how much damage her area will have, how long that will take to recover, that kind of stuff.

I'm feeling pretty fucked over on this anyway, so rub it in if you want. It came from breaking a condom, cause I've never hit it without one. I took responsibility for it too, I didn't cut and run, I'm just looking for a forecast of the next few weeks.

I think you should just go to a clinic and ask for some info on them.

Righto, she won't be able to have sex for 2 weeks... after about 1 1/2 weeks she'll go back to the clinic and will get another ultrasound to make sure that everything is alright. As well as no sex for 2 weeks she's not allowed to go swimming or have a bath (showers are fine though) and can't have anything in her vagina (so no fingering or oral sex and she's not even allowed to use a tampon).

She'll be put on some antibiotics for the two weeks that she cant have sex as well.
She'll also have 'period-like' bleeding for anywhere from 2-10 days. This can be heavy or light, there's no way to tell really.

I can't really think of anything else, there is always the emotional side. I asked my friend after she got her abortion and all she said was that she felt empty.

Oh, and the whole procedure only takes about 2 hours maximum but she will be drugged up to the eyeballs, when my friend got it done we could walk at about a quarter of usual walking speed and we would take breaks all the time. I had to help her down stairs and whatnot and while we were at her bf's house afterwards we just lay on his bed and she went straight to sleep. Unfortunately we had the NIN concert later that evening, she was pretty fucking dead by the end of the night

I've called the clinic myself, and they treat me like the fucking devil. They don't want to talk to me at all. When we first found out, I called just for general information like when she could set up an appointment (like the earliest date), not even trying to set one up, and they treated me like fucking scum.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but she's scared to death that her "entrance to the area" won't return to it's normal condition. I'm assuming it will, because she's only 6 weeks along, and I looked it up how large it will be, and it's not that big.

Don't they pretty much stretch it out just when she goes to the OBGYN for a pap smear?

she'll be back to normal in no time. Seriously, all they do is suck it out of her with a medical-style vacuum cleaner. As i mentioned earlier she can't have sex for 2 weeks... and after that for the first time she will feel like a virgin, it will almost certainly hurt. But after that she should be fine, and any damage done would be nowhere near as bad as if she were to actually give birth

i hear that some women go into depression after an abortion.

It depends on the girl. I'm under the impression that the physiological symptoms are minor and don't last for any longer than 2 or 3 days... but I think some get depressed... perhaps if they're not completely sure about the abortion? I don't know. Physiologically, not really. Just some blood. No fucking.

If she's quite early on then they're not exactly going to tear her open or have to rip the vagina to get this huge thing out.
Even in later stages of pregnancy abortions arent that damaging to the vaginal area. Generally later they give the woman a pill to kill the foetus,wait a while and then remove it piece by piece.

She'll probably be advised to not have sex for a while, to avoid infection. Even with condoms. They may also suggest a more effective form of protection such as implant or depo provera shot.

So are you worried about when you'll be able to fuck her next and if she'll be all saggy and less pleasurable to fuck? 'cause that's what your post sounded like it was saying.

I tried to get her to get the Paraguard IUD, but I think she's going back on the shot, cause she was on it before me, then didn't have a relationship for like a year, so she went off of it.

I'm not worried about her being damaged, she's really self conscious about it. She's really petite and all of that, and I'm only the second guy she's been with. The first guy only got two go arounds with her. She's never even had a pap smear or anything like that so she's freaking out over it. I'm just playing the role of the "you'll be fine, I promise" bf, but I wanted to know if I'm telling the truth, or telling her what she needs to hear.

On the psychological side: The ending of a pregnancy, be it by abortion, miscarriage or full term normal birth, always carries with it the risk of a depression or psychosis.

Usually its a very slight risk but its still a risk.

Abortion particularly carries a risk of depression due to the nature of the situation.

Pro-choicers tend to understate the risk and of course Pro-lifers overstate it.

Truth is, you need to keep an eye on her. DO NOT fall into the trap of thinking 'she's bound to be a bit down, she'll get over it'. That way psychosis and incarceration lie.

I've called the clinic myself, and they treat me like the fucking devil. They don't want to talk to me at all. When we first found out, I called just for general information like when she could set up an appointment (like the earliest date), not even trying to set one up, and they treated me like fucking scum.

that's the truth man. they treated me like shit when i was there with a former girlfriend. its kind of fucked up, like they view the woman as being the victim of some kind of crime. if a pregnancy is the result of a consensual mistake, then they shouldn't view the men this way. makes me wonder whether or not the workers there are really pro-choice.

that's the truth man. they treated me like shit when i was there with a former girlfriend. its kind of fucked up, like they view the woman as being the victim of some kind of crime. if a pregnancy is the result of a consensual mistake, then they shouldn't view the men this way. makes me wonder whether or not the workers there are really pro-choice.

Thing is, they have to protect patient confidentiality.
Your girlfriends may have told the clinic things she wouldnt have told you, not nescessarily secrets she doesent want you to hear but embarassing things about her body and such.

Even if it was the girls mother who phoned up they'd be cautious,and rightly so.

At the end of it all, it may suck but it's her body, and the clinic needs to protect their patient and their choices and rights as much as possible.
It wouldnt be great if every time a angry boyfriend phoned up demanding that they talk his girlfriend out of/into getting an abortion they took his advice and started pressurising the girl to change her mind. That's exactly what pro-choice isnt.


It sucks, but if the roles were reversed and you were in that clinic getting your tube tied they would release very little information about your choices and personal info to her if she was phoning.



Physically, nothing to worry about. I dont know how they do a early trimester aborion but I know for sure it's not as hardcore as a later one, physically.
They really arent going to cut her or tear her at all, and it's not just a household vacuum they carelessley shove up her cunt!



You should be more concerned for her mental health afterwards than her physical. Depression, guilt, all that bullshit. Never start conversations like "I wonder what our kid would have grown up to be..." or the like. Never for one minute start to voice doubt that she did the right thing.

Basically, once the deed is done it's done. Last thing you want to be doing is making her feel she's made a terrible mistake once it's too late to rectify.

i understand the need for confidentiality, but in my situation i was treated like shit from the get go. i was in the waiting room for about 6 hours and every time a nurse came out they would just give me this look like i was the most repulsive thing. that has nothing to do with confidentiality. then, after about 5 hours waiting, i asked one of the nurses if my gf was doing ok. she gave me a real snippy response and another hateful glare. so, i understand the confidentiality issue, but i think something else motivated those nurses to act that way.

but its stupid for me to bitch about that. what the girl had to go through was unimaginable. just remember that and act accordingly. make her the focus of your attention afterwards.

I wish my now-ex boyfriend saw this thread when i was going through mine. :(

I completely understand the confidentiality thing. When I called I asked specifically, when, if she wanted to (and I knew she did because she asked me to call instead), she could get an appointment. Not trying to set one up, just asking, like could she get one within the next two weeks. They snapped my head off at one place and was semi-polite the next. Her mom called the next day, and got much better treatment than me. I see their side, but hell, for all they know I could have went elsewhere and spent all this money because of that. This isn't cheap by any means.

That's fucked up for the guy who said he went with her and they treated him like shit. That's way overboard, I bet he paid for their meals off their next paycheck.




She got it done today, and called me to tell me that she feels great. So I happy about that, can't wait to get home to take care of her. This was her decision from the start, when we found out I didn't say a word about what direction to take, she said she wanted this, and I agreed completely. This was my opinion from the start, but I didn't want to say it first and he just agree because of me, then resent it later.