i will try to keep this as short as possible.

I do not smoke and i'm against that shit, not in general, but only when people smoke close to me and stink up my clothes or when people who i care about poison their health with it. I've only smoked about 3 or 4 cigarettes in my life and i didn't like them all too much. I wanted to see what the big deal was, and for me, it's pointless.

The girl i like is a passive smoker.

If anyone else smokes, i don't give a shit, but when i hear her talking about wanting a cigarette, it just kills my mood. I don't show it much, but inside i'm suddenly depressed and sad as hell. I just feel so damn worthless and defeated.

I told her to give smoking up... if she's not addicted and doesn't HAVE to smoke, why the fuck should she do it? I told her i don't like it and that i care about her and i want her to be as healthy as possible but she just keeps saying "i'm only a PASSIVE smoker... i only smoke a few times a week, bla bla bla"

i'm trying to accept it... but i still don't like it. Sometimes i just want to yell at her "if i ever see you smoke or even hear you talking about smoking again, i'm gonna cut off all contact with you and you can do whatever the fuck you want with your life, you can ruin your lungs, ruin your heart and every goddamn blood vessel you have for all i care". But that's bullshit... i'd be a goddamn fool to cut contact for stupid shit like this.

2 days ago, we were at a festival watching some band and she got a cigarette out and started smoking.

(my initial reaction thought was: "fuck... god damn it, i told her i don't want her smoking... i'm gonna take her fucking cig, put it out with my hand, get the pack from her purse and fucking throw it so damn hard that my shoulder dislocates!!") - Of course, it was one of those outrageous thoughts i get when i hate something so much.

I didn't want to let the shit mood take over and turn me into a sad fuck, so i asked her to let me have a puff (and thus, show her that i'm not gonna give her the usual "please stop smoking... you're fucking up your health for no reason" response)

She looked at me shortly, she said "she doesn't usually smoke, she's just a passive smoker" (as if i didn't hear that a million times) and handed me the cig. She probably thought i was going to put it out or something... I wasn't, but she was close though... i wanted to suck in most of what was left and leave about half a centimeter of it so she doesn't have to smoke that much, cause i knew she wouldn't smoke another one at that time. I didn't though... i just took a regular fake puff (getting air in my chest but holding the smoke in my mouth) and gave it back to her. She finished smoking it and that was the only cigarette she smoked while i was around her.

I still felt a bit down but not as much as usual though.

How do i deal with this? should i just accept it and be happy she's just "passive"? should i keep explaining again and again why her smoking is pointless? i don't want to make her smoke behind my back out of spite...

Passive smoking is breathing in smoke, not being a casual smoker as you describe.

Pretending to take a puff is pretty lame. Not only does it not really solve anything, but also if you now say anything she'll use it against you and say "well, you take occasional puffs" - telling her you faked it will probably hurt her feelings. If it was something you really believe in then you should have told her there and then that you do not want people smoking around you.

Tell her it bothers you and you don't want to be around her when she smokes.

i had the same problem with my ex.
good luck yo.

Get over it. It's her life, let her do as she pleases. Look on the bright side, as least she doesn't smoke a pack and a half a day like I do. I hate it but I can't stop. A few cigs a week is nothing and is not going to ruin her health, but it will likely lead to addiction and an increased amount of smoking.

Actually, I'd bet that you only know about the 3 or so smokes a week. Dude, she smokes. She knows it bothers you so she tries not to around you. In reality she's a regular smoker whose boyfriend is such an uptight douche about it that she has to hide it.

If she doesn't want to stop smoking, she doesn't want to stop smoking. Leave her the fuck alone.

What's with all the faggots in S&A wanting to change their partners? You knew what the fuck you were getting yourself into, so either deal with it or move the fuck on.

Also, fake smoking? How is 9th grade going so far? I mean, Jesus, you don't like smoking, THEN DON'T FUCKING SMOKE. What kind of fucking inbred logic do you subscribe to? "Dur, I don't like my girlfriend smoking, so I'll ask her if I can have a puff and then take a fake one! Brilliant!". What the fuck did that accomplish? Not a goddamn thing, except make you look like a fucking asshole.

Oh, and bonus points for being all anti-smoking because of the health risks and then exposing yourself to the very same risks, of your own will and volition, for no conceivable purpose. You truly are a marvel of human failure and the flagship of rampant anti-intellectualism that is ruining our world.

Didn't read anything past....."my girlfriend is a passive smoker".

The answer is quite simple. You just DEAL WITH IT, and let her live her own fuckin life.....or you have the common sense to not get involved with women that have behaviors you are so profoundly against. But quit trying to change/inhibit anyone. You are an ass.

Also, fake smoking? How is 9th grade going so far? I mean, Jesus, you don't like smoking, THEN DON'T FUCKING SMOKE. What kind of fucking inbred logic do you subscribe to? "Dur, I don't like my girlfriend smoking, so I'll ask her if I can have a puff and then take a fake one! Brilliant!". What the fuck did that accomplish? Not a goddamn thing, except make you look like a fucking asshole.

Oh, and bonus points for being all anti-smoking because of the health risks and then exposing yourself to the very same risks, of your own will and volition, for no conceivable purpose. You truly are a marvel of human failure and the flagship of rampant anti-intellectualism that is ruining our world.

*applauds* Well played, good sir, well played.

So harsh, I had to approve.

Anyways, the easiest solution is to just get over all the BS they drilled into your head. A certain amount of smoking won't eff you up. Despite the ZOMG cancer-ness of it. Have a cig or two, enjoy it.

Failing that, confront her, and possibly dump her.

1st) Lol'ed at the op

2nd) wanted to post something but robin hoody kinda beat me to the punch

3rd) Holding the smoke in your mouth is just as bad as in your lungs, cept instead of lung cancer you get mouth cancer.

4rth) Op should shut the fuck up, and stop using all that health risk bullshit as an excuse. You dont like smoking? Wonderful! Don't date a smoker next time, douche.

What would I do? Get her into weed, it's better than cigarettes, right? :P



Evil way that will make her never smoke cigarettes again? Cool

I've heard of people sticking matchstick in cigarettes or putting lemons juice in it. Supposely, it will make her want to quit smoking by coughing way too hard.

Well in the words of chopper read "harden the fuck up" really,

its her choice to smoke or not just let her do what she wants. It could be worse she could be smoking meth. actally come to think of it my ex never used to like me smoking untill some how i made her start i like to think i gave her cancer as a break-up present. score 1 me

OP: Here's an idea... Quit being a little bitch. If it's that much of a problem, kick her to the curb. Otherwise, man up!

"omg, ciggs smell bad and cause cancer!"
Yeah, so does car exhaust and some brands of spray on deoderant.

What would I do? Get her into weed, it's better than cigarettes, right? :P


I concur.

Don't ever get into a relationship thinking you can change someone. If you don't like it then leave her. She isn't going to quit for you, it has to come from within. If you constantly nag her about it she is definitely going to dump your whiny ass. You're obviously young, just dump her and move on.

Judge not lest you be judged. Cigs are fun and if you don't like it then leave her. Stupid motherfucker.

Get an asthma inhaler and use it on occaisions when she's around and smoking.
It's fair enough that people are saying "dude dont try to change your partner!" but if she's smoking around you in enclosed places when you've made it clear you dont like it, then that's just fucking rude.

If it's just a cigarette she's not willing to give up for you today, what will it be two years down the line when you're living together or something?

QFMFT!

Seriously, what kind of a fairy can't put up w/ a little second hand smoke.