I just recently started college and am loving it. My childhood friend is going to the same school as I am, along with two other close friends. We have branched off and met alot of cool guys, but the best thing about this is that, after not talking to this childhood friend for 5 years (since 8th grade), we were able to just jump back into how things used to be. We stopped talking because of reasons that I won't name, it was neither perpetuated on either of our parts, but now are the best of friends again.

The scary thing is that when he's around me I feel ok being myself, and he actually can calm me down when I'm really stressed out. Recently, we went to a concert together and got to talking about relationship status. Both of us (coincidentally) just got out of long term relationships that ended kind of rocky (or so I thought on his part). I asked him about his girlfriend, and he said that they had broken up at the beginning of the summer. He asked me about my boyfriend and I told him that he was no longer in the picture.

Days later I noticed a change. He started getting really flirty with me, and my stupid self didn't pick up on it until the very end when he gave up. I can flirt with random guys, but when it comes to someone who actually means something I am too self-conscious. So I went home the following weekend, and when I came back I found out that his so called "ex" had come up and stayed with him. When I asked him about it, he just told me, "It's complicated" and left it at that. So this weekend, (two weeks later) I asked him to go to a party with me because all of our other friends were going. He said he was going to go, but then the girl decided to come up for the weekend. He told me he couldn't go, and I was like "Oh, ok no problem," trying not to make a big scene.

Later that night he said that he really wanted to go and he said he was as disappointed as I was. "If she wasn't coming up I would have definitely gone with you. " So, what does all of this mean? Does he have feelings for me? Should I just try and ignore it? I'm definitely confused.

So what is the problem again?

Does he like me or is he just playing around?

Do you like him like a friend only?

It sounds like he likes you, but assumed that you didn't feel the same way. If you think that you can tell him how you feel, go for it - that way you'll both know for sure. It's hurting you to see him with his ex, and he might just be doing it partly to see if you actually do care about him. Since you're living together, and you're attracted to him - it'll be hard for you to keep your feelings inside - and if you don't get it out in the open, they might end up coming out in negative ways and really hurting the relationship between the two of you.

Once it is out in the open, if he doesn't actually feel the same way about you, you'll know it - and hopefully you can continue being just friends - because he does sound like a really great guy, somebody you feel good around, who probably cares about your well being.

And hopefully, if you end up being just friends in the long run - your attraction for him might disperse - as you said, you've found alot of cool new guys. Which might also be the reason that he's reaching out for his ex. It makes him feel insecure that you have partners other than him.

So you think that he has potiental feelings towards me? I just didn't want to reciprocate the flirtiness and then find out he was just goofing around. Like I can't differentiate between real flirting and playing around with guys I like. Like, for example he was bouncing a ball on a tennis racket and he kept coming nearer and nearer saying, "I won't hit you, just trust me!" or teaching me to play halo and letting me be on his team even though I suck, or play stabbing at my feelings by making fun of the stupid things I do.

And since he's stopped, how do I start it back up again to see if its real? What should I do... like I am so lost. How do you be flirty? I don't usually have to think about it, but with him I do.

Edit: also when we went to the concert he talked about next year buying an apartment together. His reasoning being because we get along really well and we both play drums. At our school, there's no where to practice so it's either get an apartment and bring your drumset up or suffer for a year.

Well if he's gonna chose a suposed ex over hanging out with you, there's not really any situation going on.He likes her still, but likes you to boost his ego.

Whilst the ex is still in the picture, there's no point you pursuing this at all. And be carefull of his re-bound affections.

Seems to me that he does have feelings for you, but when he saw that his advances weren't being "successful", he probably just figured you weren't into him and stopped. Then his ex comes back into the picture, so he kinda goes for "Plan B", so to speak.

Then again, he might be using the ex to make you jealous. Yes, I know, most people say this is a relationship tactic that generally only women use, but us guys use it quite often as well. And also, are you romantically attracted to him? Becaus if you're not, then tthere's no real point in trying to flirt back with him, it'll only end up hurting him.

What I'm telling you is the best advice you're gonna get if you are actually starting college.

Don't stay in a fucking relationship. Present yourself right, you'll get laid by the guy you want to fuck you and whoever else you want after him.

Just don't be dumb sluts about it.

Think about it: there's a book that supposedly presents a theory of manipulating feminine reactions to conversation and body language to get laid. And if you really think men are complicated, then you're overthinking things... It's not that hard once they've got a few drinks in them.

Um, by this point, i've forgotten whether the OP was a dude or chick, but i think that shit can be generalized externally.

Yeah. Dig it.

Boy oh boy Yoyo, you do overreact sometimes. You don't know that he likes sirlicksalot only to boost his ego.

Although you are right, do be careful of rebound affections.

Ok my post was totally misguided.

Chances are, his attempts wth his ex are just an attempt to hold onto what's comfortable. Which means he's apprehensive. So he's either uncomfortable with being with you or is entering into something he's not used to. If he's actually been with someone that he's loved then that's the difference between fucking someone while he's loved someone else.

I've been in both situations and it's always the same level of disgust.

Boy oh boy Yoyo, you do overreact sometimes. You don't know that he likes sirlicksalot only to boost his ego.


He's a confused male. It's only natural he's going to shit on one female whilst pursuing another.
That is how life goes, usually..

Yeah, I do have feelings for him and I didn't plan on them to come this quickly. We hadn't talked on a good level since eighth grade, as I said before for reasons I don't want to name, so I wanted to just get back to being friends and then see if there was something there. As soon as I got to college, he called me up and asked me to hang out. From there, it's like I've known him all along and there was no major gap in our friendship.

I liked him when I was a kid, and I like him now. I don't know why, I ask myself that all the time. I can't explain what happens, only that I can be myself and I'm comfortable around him. Not telling me why he's still with his ex is driving me insane, and I now agree with the statement that he is leaning on her for support. He's not going to see her, she's coming to see him. He also isn't very enthused when we asked how it went. He was like, "Yeah, it was fun."

And by the way, I'm a GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL!