.....

you're 16. i know it sucks, but think about it in terms of your whole life.

you'll eventually get over her and move on to another girl, or by some miracle you guys will end up together. both situations have happy endings.

so be happy.

Take your time getting over her. It's one of the harder things you'll do but it'll happen.

At this point just don't say or do anything to her you'll regret.

-F☺rd

Go get completely hammered and either sleep with one of her friends, or go over to her house and explain to her what a big mistake leaving you was, and how she'll regret it.

You'll never get back together with her, but by hurting her, you'll feel better about yourself.

I'm in the same boat. My partner of two years dumped me last week.
Though I'm a bit older than you.
Just wait it out. The pain will go away eventually. Use this time to spend some time with yourself, separate from another person to figure out what you want for yourself.
Don't go to heavy on the drink, just because you're upset doesn't mean you need to kill your liver.

just because you're upset doesn't mean you need to kill your liver.

Yes it does.

Your liver has been bad, and must be punished.

Plus, with liver failure you might show signs of jaundice so you'll be yellow.

Chicks dig minorities.

you're 16 its not the end of the fuckin world quit being a lil bitch

Fuck you. Maybe in the few years it'll take for you to turn 16 you can think about how, perhaps, the boy is hurt and age is pretty irrelevant in that matter.

-F☺rd

It's relevant in terms of putting it in perspective, but hardly helpful in the blunt way it was put.

16 years old is a time when somebody changing is almost an inevitability so putting so much emphasis on it will just spin his tires in the mud, and exhaust him of energy he could put into more productive areas of his life; like developing a personality.

That's why I told him to take a pre-emptive strike on his liver before it starts trying to kill him like mine turned on me.

You have to be aggressive with these evil doers before they consolidate their power.

Keep your chin up and your body busy mate. Best way.

I had the same thing a few months back...We lived together for a year and a half, were engaged, talking of the future...Then it went to shit...She dumped me...I felt like shit for a week. God damn did I need a drink that week. But I didn't drink.

So I would lay in bed and cry...I would get up and have to see her looking like nothing was wrong (had to wait a week to get all my gear out of there)...Then I had to go to work...It was one of the hardest weeks in my life.

The day I moved back to my dad's, I was okay...Not great...But better.
That night I went out with my cousin and uncle, got hammered, got on another chick (much hotter!) and then it started to feel really better.

For the few weeks afterwards, I kept myself busy doing little projects that I'd neglected (DIY, electronics, guitar etc) until I felt better.

Now I am perfectly happy being alone even though I have a few girls here and there to occupy my lonely/bored time.

And if she ever realises that leaving me was the biggest fuck up she's made and wanted to give it another go...Well...I would just say no. None of my usual witty remarks, cruel words or outright laughter at such an outrageous thought...Just say no and wander off.

You'll be fine dude...Give it some time.

:(.....

This person speaks the truth

God damn did I need a drink that week. But I didn't drink.

So I would lay in bed and cry...That night I went out with my cousin and uncle, got hammered, got on another chick (much hotter!) and then it started to feel really better.Please pay attention to this.

He didn't drink, and he felt like shit.

He got drunk and fucked another chick, and he felt better.

Once again, robinhoody's advice proves sage-like.

Wow, that even made me feel better and I'm very happy in my relationship! lol

^^^ We aim to please! :D

But yeah, drinking whilst depressed is a bad idea...Could make you do some stupid shit.
But when the edge has gone, go out and get fucked up and see what else happens dude...Go have fun.

You might aswell have fun while you can...You're a long time dead.

Don't talk to her at all...

I'm going through the same thing and talk to her all the time.. it's a mindfuck.

Why aren't I taking my own advice?. Because well.... I'm just not, but if I COULD i would... but I can't. I love her way to much to not be friends.

But it's gotten me in so much trouble... it's finally getting easier but it probably would've been better if I left her alone..or if she didn't act like a bitch... but oh well. It's all in teh past

So yea... don't talk about her.

Oh and try making a list of all the bad things about her and put it up somewhere where you'll pass it everyday... then you'll see these things and realize that she really wasn't a good person to be with anyways.

.....

Why the fuck do you keep posting in quotes?

So is it possible to be "just friends" and then go back out, we're havin fun together. She gives me mixed feelings. One minute I feel she's in love w/ me, next it's we're just better off being friends.

i'm in the same boat.
sixteen, dumpeddd recently after two years.
i'm seeing him saturday as friends, and i feel very much as nothing more than a friend. i think having so many other happy new things to occupy me has helped (: (college!)

She doesn't like you.


You are probably saying "FUCK YOU" to me right now... but that's okay.

Actually I would be so happy for you if you got back together. Maybe you might. But aren't you mad at her. For not loving you. Abandoning you?

It would be better if you held it off. Don't let her have all the power. If you do get back together you'll never be good enough for her. You have to switch the balance of power... so either you have a healthy relationship.. or you can crush her soul. Which ever you feel like at the moment

I kinda advise against the friend thing right away. Closure is a powerful thing, I got dumped by my girl about a month back, we tried to stay friends and I felt no different two weeks later than the day I got dumped. :/

-F☺rd

Do you guys think it's just a phase she's going through? There's all sorts a phases like: all over each other, arguing over everything, taking offense to everything. Is not being happy just a phase?:(

Actually I would be so happy for you if you got back together. Maybe you might. But aren't you mad at her. For not loving you. Abandoning you?

It would be better if you held it off. Don't let her have all the power. If you do get back together you'll never be good enough for her. You have to switch the balance of power... so either you have a healthy relationship.. or you can crush her soul. Which ever you feel like at the moment

Thats what I'm fearing, for most of the relationship I had the power, and now that she's leaving/left because of minor slip ups when she was treating me not so good at all. I just want this to work.

Thats what I'm fearing, for most of the relationship I had the power, and now that she's leaving/left because of minor slip ups when she was treating me not so good at all. I just want this to work.

It won't...Move on mate.

It won't...Move on mate.

what if we give it some time? And this is upsetting, for 2 years I've been wanting to go to prom and stuff with her.:(

what if we give it some time? And this is upsetting, for 2 years I've been wanting to go to prom and stuff with her.:(

Seriously, man. Move on.

Take someone else to prom. Someone hotter. Let her see that you're better than her, and that you're not letting her destroy your life (even though you are).

Not that i'm much older than you are (being only 17)..
not that i think age matters much when it's about love or relationships..
but with the experience i've had..
there's kinda like two different times that a relationship lasts.
i had a client the other day (i'm a massage therapist)
and she was telling me about how with some weird case studies done and stuff they've come to notice a pattern. there's the 8 month, and two year marks.
Both of which people in their first couple of serious relationships usually break up in.
which made me laugh, i was dumped 8 months into my first serious relationship and then just recently i broke up with my boyfriend for two years because i'd found out he'd been playing up.. quiet a bit.

and although while it hurts so bad at the time, it's somethig you move past.
you still always feel something special for that person, because 2 years of your life is huge to share so intimatly with another person.

the good thing is that you find someone else, eventually even though you might be so inlove with them at the moment.

but DON'T be a cunt.. seriously.
she's probably just as hurt as you are, whether she's showing it or not, or whether she did the dumping or not.
Don't go fuck someone else or one of her friends to make it feel better.
because if you're an honest nice person that actually considers sex a part of a relationship it'll probably just make you feel dirty.


sorry if this is all over the place.. just typing as i think.

I hope it all works out man.

Good luck.

I haven't really read this thread. Sue me. I'll go back and do it... I may have even already posted.

But! I was often told there is a time and place for everything.

Now is the time for a binge of heavy use of your drug of choice. Serously.

Edit: I reread this, and I stand by what I said. You're young, go destroy your brain... for a while. It'll heal. Just don't let it last longer than like two weeks. No good in that.

don't let her mess you about. she shouldn't be able to just pick you up and put you down as and when she fancies.

Seriously, man. Move on.

Take someone else to prom. Someone hotter. Let her see that you're better than her, and that you're not letting her destroy your life (even though you are).

Two years and all that matters to you is prom?!?!

Fuck that!

Think of it this way dude...You get back with her, take her to prom and everyone says "Hey look, there he goes getting back with the chick who made him feel like shit. Sorry son of a bitch."
And there's still no guarantee she'll stay with you afterwards, leaving you feeling like shit again!

Whereas, if you go find another (hotter) chick to take, people will say "Hey, there he goes with another (hotter) chick. Good for him. Good to see he's over that bitch!"
Also, you're ex will think to herself "He got over that quickly. Damn I want him back now!" then it's your choice whether you take her back or stay with the other (hotter) chick!

Do it!

Two years and all that matters to you is prom?!?!

Fuck that!

Think of it this way dude...You get back with her, take her to prom and everyone says "Hey look, there he goes getting back with the chick who made him feel like shit. Sorry son of a bitch."
And there's still no guarantee she'll stay with you afterwards, leaving you feeling like shit again!

Whereas, if you go find another (hotter) chick to take, people will say "Hey, there he goes with another (hotter) chick. Good for him. Good to see he's over that bitch!"
Also, you're ex will think to herself "He got over that quickly. Damn I want him back now!" then it's your choice whether you take her back or stay with the other (hotter) chick!

Do it!

She was my first, ever(g/f) and we were perfect for each other, guess I just need to give her her space, maybe get a new girl and see where that leads me.:(

we were perfect for each otherO RLY?

O RLY?

She's not making up her mind, I am ready for it either way. I have till Sunday to find out. I'll update then.

I got the call, she said that it's official. We're over:(

Sorry man. It's never easy. :/

Give yourself all the time and closure you need.

-F☺rd

Sorry man. It's never easy. :/

Give yourself all the time and closure you need.

-F☺rd

thanks, what are the best remedies to get better quicker or w/e.

Try to find another girl?(not settle down)
kill brain cells
all of the above
other?

Freinds, alcohol, a playlist of breakup songs and whatever mind numbing drugs you can find.

If that's not enough then go out and find someone to beat the shit out of. Worked a treat for me.

sounds good to me, cant wait till haloween

IA,

How are you doing? Have you gotten over it much?

Yeah I just broke up with my girl yesterday. Bummer eh?

This was your first girl? You have my condolences. The first breakup is always the worst...

Right, here we have rabbitweed's breakup survival kit:

__________

Memento's

All that crap you have of hers? Get rid of it. If you can't bear to see her preciously crap poetry and laughable artwork destroyed, get a shoebox, chuck everything - I mean everything – in it, and tape it up. Why tape it up? You'll be far less likely to open it that way.

Ditto for crap on the computer. Maybe chuck all the pictures, email etc. on a CD and shove it in the shoebox as well. At the very least, put it in a folder you won't come across often.

Best case scenario is if you burn it though. Especially if she's been a bitch.

Communication

By all means, get some closure. Let her explain herself, and explain yourself. But after there's nothing new to say, THAT'S IT. Block and delete her from MSN, delete her from your phone, don't visit her...if you share work or study areas change your habits to avoid her. Write some contact details down if you really think you'll forget them and want to talk to her again in the future, but the key is to make it an effort to have to talk to her. By the time you're done adding her number to your cell again you may well realise it's a bad idea to call.

Even though you may be curling up into a foetal position every time some cheesy pop shit she liked comes on the playlist/radio, let her believe you're handling the breakup in a calm, confident manly way by NOT TALKING TO HER FOR ATLEAST A MONTH. Longer if the relationship lasted more than a year.

"But rabbitweed, I miss her a lot and I really think crying into her phone like a little girl at 3am will win her over"

It won't. If you harbour hopes of being with the girl one day...this will just come back to embarrass you, and will turn her right off. If you don't want to be with her again...well, now she has something to tell her girlfriends and laugh about with her new boyfriend.

Freedom

All that shit you've wanted to do but didn't for her sake? Go ahead on do it. Hit on girls you've found hot, move to where you've always wanted to, start university, join the army, get into street fights, have gay sex, take drugs...whatever you withheld for her sake but really wanted to do, do it, or at least consider it. You're free to do that now and don't need her approval for anything.

If she comes crawling back

First off...don't count on it.

Second off, I think it's imperative that you get over someone and have a proper emotional break before you can get back with them again. If the relationship failed, there are generally reasons...and if it's come to this, they can't be solved really easily.

If you've had time apart, you feel you've both really changed...THEN TAKE IT SLOWLY. Even if you rushed together before, proceed cautiously, make sure it's good for both of you before you get invested in her again. Try not to have any pre-conceptions on how it will be based on before either...start afresh.

__________

I wish you all the best. I know not much will comfort you right now, but believe me, you WILL get over her. There will be another girl for you. She's not the only one...you'll be surprised how all those magical qualities you thought no other girls have were either not that great in the first place, or far more common than you think. My first girlfriend was very short, tiny, skinny as hell. She was very delicate and cute, it was great to be able to pick her up easily...I though all other women looked like freaky giants and ogres after I broke up with her. My next girlfriend was 6 foot tall, and I thought her body was absolutely perfect...she had nice long legs, it was so nice to be at eye level and I didn't have to stoop down when I held her hand...

You will love again. Good luck.

Thank rabbitweed. :)

-F☺rd

I'm gettin a lil better as time goes by, thanks for askin.

Yeah I just...

...Good luck.
thank you so much for this, it's exactly what I needed. That just made my life a lot better, again thank you.

Few problems,
-7 outta 8 classes together
-upcoming party, she's gonna be there.
-We're seeing in a month or so if we're gonna go back out

So today went fine, I wasn't unhappy at all, again thanks to rabbitweed, I am gonna hang out with a diff girl on friday so we'll see how that goes.

I hadda party, it was really fun, the people that I usually am just friendly with flirted and stuff. Something i'm not used to,lol. So yea we tried to stay friends for about 2 weeks, and she only gives two shits when it will benefit her, so I pretty much told her to get lost.:)

this is what i suggest for you.

go out and find some really heavy duty painkillers like oxys, dilaudid, fentanyl.

these drugs kill physical pain as well as emotional pain.

dont get hooked tho.

UPDATE: for those of you whom remember this, I just heard that she cheated on me, which would explain a lot. She never really gave me a good reason as to breaking up after 2.5 years, and this would probably explain it.