You know what the hell is going on...Keep going.

Is that another one?

Start screaming like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.

I thought 10 pages/400 posts was the cutoff?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v676/ComradeAsh/vlcsnap-92882.png

Do this. Or keep flexing. You know the drill.

you made me ink!

you made me ink!

Poke their genitals and giggle. "I found Nemo!"

Why did you lock the thread after 4 pages?

Also, would be nice if you could post a message linking to part 2 before locking - it's easy to miss the fact that a second part has been created.

The Dr. Zoidberg Whooping noise.

Do it!

"innnnnnnnn west philidelphia..."

no?

"innnnnnnnn west philidelphia..."

no?

You've got to begin by telling her a romantic story..

"So I was at work today, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. So I..."

:( I never looked at the first one, but would I be correct if I said that "This is Sparta" has already been suggested?

No, That's completely new. Congratulations on your originality.

No, That's completely new. Congratulations on your originality.

"innnnnnnnn west philidelphia..."

no?

OMG! I am gona do that!!!

not exactly during but afterwards just say "Dude i totally just banged you!" and then hold up your hand for a high 5

FTW the Todd.

I don tapped that ass.

Zhopa!!!!!

"You're much looser than your mom... what gives?"

"fuck My Monkey Hole"

Right when she orgasms, yell "GAINED THE LEAD."

Then roll over and start playing Halo.

Ima Chargin Mah Lazers!

Ima Chargin Mah Lazers!

http://i9.tinypic.com/6bnvd03.jpg

had to be done. sorry.

http://i9.tinypic.com/6bnvd03.jpg

had to be done. sorry.

dont be im stoned and thats just what i needed thank you

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yrg2wj

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yrg2wj

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh.....

thats a good boy psycho make daddy happy psyco thats a good boy

I high fived a chick after sex before....actually several times. i like it.

Give yourself encouragement, "Pseudonym you champion! uh yeah you stud machine bang that ass!"

OMG! I am gona do that!!!

you're fag.

Golf commentary.
"Can we have silence in the room, please?... He lines it up, if this goes in then he has won the title..."

I high fived a chick after sex before....actually several times. i like it.

I high fived my mate as he was IN the actual process of removing his V-plates. excellent claim for the next few days while people actually cared what he'd done.

Make steam train noises. do the "chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga" sound during the fucking and scream "CHOO CHOO!" as you cum.

Shiver me timbers!

you made me ink!

Hahahaha!!! I've totally heard this from a girl I used to fuck.

I'm a lumberjack and it's ok, I sleep all night and I work all day...

I <3 this thread.

just scream out "LOL!!! ROFL!!! LMAO" and so on and so forth

also, once you've come and whatnot but you havent actually pulled out just stay in her and ask "can i stay in here? its cold outside :("

on another note of screaming out during sex, my friend called up this guy when he was banging his girl (another good friend of mine) and he picked up, the chick was getting frustrated and so yelled out "fuck off matt, johnny is inside me right now"

i found it really funny

"The condom broke"

"Shove your fingers in my ass!"

"Now lick them"

"I have to take a shit, open your mouth"

"Dont just stare at it, eat it"

Ok, here we go, we got a real pressure cooker
going here, two down, nobody on, no score,
bottom of the ninth, there's the wind-up and
there it is, a line shot up the middle, look
at him go. This boy can really fly!
He's rounding first and really turning it on
now, he's not letting up at all, he's gonna
try for second; the ball is bobbled out in center,
and here comes the throw, and what a throw!
He's gonna slide in head first, here he comes, he's out!
No, wait, safe--safe at second base, this kid really
makes things happen out there.
Batter steps up to the plate, here's the pitch--
he's going, and what a jump he's got, he's trying
for third, here's the throw, it's in the dirt--
safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base!
He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost
daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted
down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on!
Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close,
here's the throw, there's the play at the plate,
holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!


I thort of it my self >_>

^ ^ ^

What the fuck was that?

Start imitating stereotypical porn music with lots of wah pedal and a slap bass solo.

make the bomb-falling whistle and then shout BOOM in her ear

scream your own name (I did this once)

start saying 'now we know... Now We Know.... NOW WE KNOW!!' (from That Mitchell And Webb Look)

Or my own personal favourite (also works as a chat up line) 'Have you ever had sex with a machine because it's like having sex with me because I'm a sex machine'

Recite skits from Monty Python's Flying Circus. The dead parrot sketch would do nicely.

Get a small bell in your hand, and start singing "Good night" :)

*takes out camera*

"I'm putting these on myspace"

And then laugh and say "Nah, just kidding".

Then go and post them on totse.

Scream some other girls name as you empty your balls inside her. Her mothers name.

Sing that song by Strong Bad,

"TROGDOR!!!"

burninating the country side, burninating all the peasents, burninating all the peoples, in their THATCH ROOF COTTAGEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATCH ROOF COTTAGEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN TROGDOR COMES IN THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

yeah i know the song off by heart.

you could also pretend you're in some stupid cliched type movie where you've just fallen over and your dying

"no, go on without me, i've had a good life, i see the light, just run"

"SHIT, I forgot to take my AIDS medicine."

"HIV Positive means I don't have it, right?"

Naw, HIV positive is something to be happy about right?

I've done two and the girl found neither funny. I've been playing countrstrike for about 5 years. When I put it in her I siad "The bomb has been planted" - she just gave me a weird look. But the second time I gave her a facial I screamed "BOOM...HEAD SHOT". She was like "What the fuck man?".

....:(

"BOOM, HEAD SHOT"

LMFAO Awesome

That's the winner. Nerds unite.

I don't recall reading this so


"WHOSE YA DADDY"

You got it wrong, it's gotta be "who's your daddy and what does he do?"

"it just won't fit i think you're too big"
that kinda ended it there
awkward
more than awkward
he wasnt even that big
i think im too small
but still it dampened the mood:(

(seconds before you cum)
"FOR SPARTA!!"

"Can I get a price check on, Vagiclean, aisle five? That's, Vagiclean, aisle five.
We've got a customer with a full on fallopian fungus, she's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough."

read the first chapter.

haha DONE that,....well didn't actually put them but this one chick actually did not give a dam i took several pix, she even posed. kinda miss her

anyway...I have to say this is one of the funniest posts I've read, for the past few pages I have been laughing my ass off :-D

anyway...my input

"Nike condoms....just do it"
or
"Got those energizer batteries in my ass....I just keep going and going and going..."

read the first chapter.

damn...

how about:

as soon as you see her naked for the 1st time, say:
"oh, wow. looks like that runs in the family. (points) especially that part."

"innnnnnnnn west philidelphia..."

no?

I'll have you know, I was fucking this girl and I couldn't get that out of my head. You suck. I could have goten off, but NOOOOO.

When you're eating her out, before you stick it in, look at her pussy with a really confused look on your face and quietly mumble to yourself "Oh shit, which one?"

Been there, done that. Though I ran out of breath for it after about twenty seconds...

And whoever said call out your own name... I am SO trying that.

Cheers,
Mojo

What about instead of yelling your own name, yell the name of a friend of the same sex, something along the lines of "Oh Toby! You're making me cum!" would do the job even better I imagine.

EDIT: Fuck, why not just scream Toby anyways, it's a funny enough name.

lol, I used the Mortal Kombat "Finish him!" phrase last night.

True story. :D

Pics or it didn't happen :o

Pics or it didn't happen :o

I know, I can't provide proof. :(

But it really did happen...

It was like this, sort of(all in spanish, of course):

*her on top*

ME: *grunt grunt* Im about to cum
Her: Like that, huh?
Me: mmm.. finish him!
HEr: haha, idiot
ME: Grr *slap*
Her: *moan moan moan*

MK voice: FAtality!

:p

Nah, but srsly, I did it and we loled. :)

I was goin at it a little while ago, and said 'CALL ME DUMBLEDORE", but she only started laughing. We carried on, then she got me back a few minutes later by sating "Ohh, Dunmbledore you're making me cum" pretty funny I guess

its a tough choice between this and "BOOM, HEADSHOT"

"mmmmmm my dick feels like...corn...."

Off "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf.

Director.
"Stop! Ok, ok, I'm just not feeling anything from you, your mind seems to be else where and you're not convincing me that you're really having sex. So, lets take it back and do it again. Aaaaand ACTION!"


Or act really embaressed, say something like "Uh, umm... I'm going to, uh, you know.... cum... uh"

^^^ LOL, if you're a pom say

'oh golly, i'm arriving madam, it would appear i'm arriving'

http://woopkid.ytmnd.com/

tell her that every time you thrust a child in africa dies of aids

start counting them

Not so much something to scream, more something to do.
This (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3115213134814599261).

just before you burst your load, scream out

ALLAHU AKHBAR!!!

Muuuuaaaaaaaadddddd Diiiiib!!!!!!!!

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal..."

Bonus points if you can remember the whole speech.

"HADOUKEN!!!" *smack*

Totally the next one I'm doing.

*whips out a notebook*
*skims through pages*
*checks her name off*
"ok your good to go."
__________________

yell "MY PENIS IS SNEEZING"

Fuck off, Meat Loaf was better.

How about yelling Cosby quotes at random points throughout sex?

Fuck off, Meat Loaf was better.

How about yelling Cosby quotes at random points throughout sex?

taste good in my mouth theo

How's Yer Faaathhhherrrrrr?

SHOW ME WHERE YOUR MOTHER LIVES! (Ross Noble Reference)

Pikachu, use your thundershock attack!

Go go Gadget penis!

You don't have to scream this but it'd be funny that whole spiel about
sex is like math
-subtract the clothes
-add teh condom
-divide teh legs
-and hope like hell you don't multiply

Call her a bitch, and cum on her when you do it.

SHOW ME WHERE YOUR MOTHER LIVES! (Ross Noble Reference)



Fucking brilliant joke!

BAHAHAHAHAH

Mallrats. The Ben Affleck thing.

Omg! Omg! It's Coming! It's Coming! My Diarrhea!! Omg!! Diarrhea!!!

Infact, the Muslims already do that as far as I am told.

Start doing the macarena and sing the words, but in that way little kids sing, sorta yelling it.

Someone in the other room, "We're going to the liquor store do you wanna come?"
Her: NOOO!
Me: Yeah, I'll go.

I Do Cocaine!!!! Guhguhguhguhguh Yeah!!!!

he says: "owwww you're bending it"

as you snort a fat line off her ass

Bah, we've all heard that before.

Start doing that stupid "heads and shoulders, knees and toes" song, with the dance too.

Bah, we've all heard that before.

Start doing that stupid "heads and shoulders, knees and toes" song, with the dance too.

lmfao, do it just before you cum and shoot on the body part you finish on.

lmfao, do it just before you cum and shoot on the body part you finish on.

"KNEES! KNEES! OHHH GOD!"

Muuuuaaaaaaaadddddd Diiiiib!!!!!!!!

Bilar Kaifar

"Here comes a stringray! WAAP WAAP!
There goes a manta ray! NYAH NYAH NYAH!
In walked a jelly fish! YEEEEEEEEEEARRR!
There goes a dogfish! MEOW!
Chased by a catfish! A-OOOO!
In flew a sea robin! LAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Watch out for that pirahna! NYA-chigga-chigga-chigga!
There goes a narwhal! OOOO-OOOO-OOOO-OOOO!
Here comes a bikini whale! AAAAAGH!"

I apologise for my poor attempts at writing down the different sounds. But bonus points if you do all the voices.

This is more of a pre sex thing but this will win you major points and give her multiple raging orgasms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd0kDxP04eI

ah, gotta love them moaris, but you know that the haka is meant to scare them off right?

I think you'll find this is how you get the babes. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVlGDa5mx28)

Time to bring back an old thread

"I'm Spartacus!"

Found a peanut
Found a peanut
Found a peanut just now.

Just now I found a peanut
Found a peanut
just now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUC5VQ6Rv6A

To infinity... and BEYOND!

my dick feels like corn

whisper in her ear "skittles, taste the rainbow"

Immediately after starting, go, "AGHH- uh, oooooh". And then pull out and be like, "oh, god, I'm sorry, this doesn't usually happen....".

Classic, eh?

E:

I Do Cocaine!!!! Guhguhguhguhguh Yeah!!!!

LMFAO!

Probably the funniest thing i've read all night.

+1

ass up face down that's the way I like to fuck!

You've got it backwards, its face down then ass up.

I Am The Law

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vM8ac9Oes9Y was just watching this on GPP i think. any of the cheesy lines would be good but

"Jackpot!" would be awsome

Chant like a tank engine when your about to X-plode

CHOO CHOO! All aboard the horny train!

Just before you begin fucking, take off your sunglasses (or put them on) and say "What we have here... is pussy."

Then yell "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and pounce on her.

"Let's do it.

Leeeeeeeerrrrrrooooooy Jeeeeeeennnnkeeeeeeeeeemmmm!!1"

Then when she says "wtf", reply with "At least I've got chicken".

Half way through, rip off the condom and start yelling "Rollin' rollin' rollin', RAWHIDE!"