This is really, really awkward. For me anyway.

110% of the time I'm the guy everyones look to for relationship advice, I don't really know why either, I suppose I just know what to say and when to say it. I understand people a lot easier and better than most.

The funny thing is that my own love life has been absolute shit, short term "relationships" with no real foundation outside drugs or sex except for the odd one scattered throughout. I'm really picky about what girls to open myself to, my entire life thus-far has been devoted to gaining a tactical edge, watching your back, and never letting anyone get close enough to where they could cause any sort of damage.

This is, however, until Saturday morning where I was volunteered to help out with the senior portraits for our school. I walked in the gym expecting to see a bunch of overweight "photographers" whacking off over the latest issue of Popular Photography. I was surprised, to say the lease, to see a girl, roughly my age, with short red hair and the softest smile I have ever seen setting up all the equipment while her counterparts were doing what I mentioned earlier. I walk over and introduce myself, and give her a hand setting everything up. Everything good, we've breached that first barrier and I would ever go as far as calling us friends.

It was a slow afternoon and we ended up getting a lot of alone time together. Over the course of the afternoon we were breaking ground on becoming a little more than friends, I felt so comfortable talking to her, it seemed things might finally be looking up for me. As the day ended we exchanged our "it was nice to meetya's" and before I could ask her phone number I was intercepted by the largest black man I have ever seen in my life. After we shook hands and rushed through the thankyouandgoodby's (I was liaison between the school and photo company, I had to act the part) it was too late, she was gone and I never asked for her phone number, I didn't know her last name, oops.

I managed to find her on myspace, however every time I try to contact her I'm ignored, she doesn't even respond to the fact I exist. All the times I've turned women down to protect myself, all the self-sacrifice, all wasted. I felt like I had just been shot.

Whats a man to do totse? whats a man to do...

Handstands. Women love handstands.

Handstands. Women love handstands.

fun fact: I did a handstand in the 5th grade, promptly fell on my neck, and have been scared shitless after that. I thought I broke my neck that day.


I dont think thats going to help me out of my current predicament, however.

Maybe it seemed creepy that a guy she had spent an afternoon with took a lot of time and effort to track her down on myspace.

I thought of this, but it didn't match anything she said/did that afternoon. She was going to hang around after the shoot and go to dinner/flying with me (She's never been flying before) but her boss said no.

I could be desperate here, but if she wanted to hang out that night I don't think looking her up on the internet is that creepy =\

1) facebook is less creepy than myspace.
2) Send her a nice email, something like "hey, remember me? You helped me stay sane that boring school photo day. I never did get around to thanking you, but my friend's helping out at a photo gallery this weekend and he can bring in people for free, I thought you might be interested, blah blah blah"

It doesn't have to be true. If it's free, she doesn't feel like you're trying to buy her. Chicks hate money, despite what you may think. They love to get money, but they don't respect you when you spend it on them.

Basically, pull a Tao of Steve. Act as if all you want to do is be friends. Even go out and say "I think we should just be friends" or something. Then be excellent, and finally, gone.

She'll be so confused she'll fall for you instantly.

Good luck.

I figured out the reason she was ignoring me, none of my messages ever reached her.

I ended up using my brothers myspace to finally get in contact with her, however he gets to her before I can and ruins everything with a well placed "Why don't you go kill yourself and leave me alone?"

I'm debating on weither or not to spend the night in jail, I'm that close to choking the little asshole.

So, now I'm really screwed with not a way in the world to reach her, its been fun S&A, thanks for the interest, however genuine.

Wtf? dude, that's total bullshit... your bro is a total cock sucker. Kill that mother fucker asap.

WHAT!?!? Why didn't your messages reach her? Why did you have to use your brother's myspace?

WHAT!?!? Why didn't your messages reach her? Why did you have to use your brother's myspace?

I don't know why mine didn't work, but apparently i can't send messages to anyone. His was the only one I had access to at the time and hes always been cool with shit like this.

Wait wait wait.... why would someone come to you for relationship advice?