THIIIIS IS SPAAARRRTTTAAAA!!!!!

ideas?

FOR SPARTA hahahha thats some good shit...

I want to fuck our babies!!

or

I don't love you!!

I'm not sure what to say. But I know what to NOT say.
As my boyfriend and I were preparing to have sex this random thought about a zombie film I'd been watching just popped into my head and for no apparent reason I said "but I wonder how she survived the land being infested with zombies if she was chained to a wall. And why were the zombies eating that dead girls intestines? I thought they liked live flesh."


certainly kills the mood.

Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy

Konjagoogoo. SHAZAM!

BEST thing to say? :S

Um... Idk, don't use teeth?

Depends.

But I sure like hearing "Ahi, ahi! AYY!! AHI!!! ay [name]* ..."



*the walls have ears.

*right before climax*

I HAVE METH MOUTH!

:o

Yeah I had a mexican chick pull that one out... kinda lame.

Or girls that say "Oh yeas, oh yeah, that's good" in a semi-monotone voice low enough not to disturb the neighbors... lame and boring



makes me want to scream FOOOORRRR SPARTAAAAA!!!!!!


or what ingutted said. except IN ALL CAPPPPSSS!!!!

I don't know... "SCCRREEEEAAAWWWWWW!!!!!" perhaps? Of course, you'd have to be fucking a pterodactyl for it to make sense... or be a pterodactyl yourself.

If you satisfy either of those, then you're welcome to try that.

Zaknafein.

Shout your own name. It really freaks girls out.

I laughed pretty hard at 'THIS IS SPARTA' though

"Teenagers were meant to fuck"

"I've got blisters on me fingers!"

"your so much better than the cat!"

:D

5char

Diarrhea's back!
Scream your girlfriend's mom and/or dad's name.
Docking complete!
Oh yeah, switch my phone service to Vonage!
RAPE! RAPE!

best one so far:
"your so much better than the cat!"

niiice.

Not really screaming, but it's always funny to nestle really obvious insults in a stream of compliments during sex, sorta under the radar.

"oh baby, oh god you're so hot, you fucking smell, yeah that feels so good"

They'll always go "what?" and not really know if they heard you right, so just pretend nothing happened.

I like this one.

"I'm starving, you wanna get some food"

In mid fuck

"I'm bored"

"The jews control the banks and the media" (Can't remember where i heard that one)

"Jesus is my savior"

THIIIIS IS SPAAARRRTTTAAAA!!!!!

ideas?

That's what I was gonna post. Damn.

Start singing. The ladies really love it when you break into Barry Manilow right before she orgasams.

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl...

ahah Haggard is a dope movie

"I have AIDS!"


"Your sister was better!"

"Can't you do that thing with your tongue like your mom does?"

"You like this? Want more?"

and as soon as she goes to reply

"IT DOESNT MATTER!"

That vid made me scared of the internet.

"man my dick feels like corn!"

"The jews control the banks and the media" (Can't remember where i heard that one)

"Jesus is my savior"

lol+1

Yahtzee!!!!

Kaplaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

"Bestiality!"

That's what I was gonna post. Damn.

You have to wonder if Gerard Butler yells it out mid-coitus. I mean just flat fucking belts it out. That would be some scary shit.

"Move your goddamn head! Halftime is over and the game is about to start!"

But after reading Totse, I think I'm gonna have to try....

"MINIONS ATTACK!"

Wow your pussy feels nothing like my dog's

I'll give you a jigglyfuck after you suck my wigglydick

So...how does this work again?

Oh my God I have a boner!!

This is so great, I've masterbated to you for the past 4 years.

Fuck RatBert.

Fuck RatBert.

Agreed.

And that is why the stupidity of that comment adds to the hilarity of the situation.

"+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

this is related to 300, my freind actually did this and his girl couldnt stop laughing


"I am not your king, you will not enjoy this"


lulz

Kaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... .

Kaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... .

FUCKING GOLD!

"Don't worry honey, the AIDS will kill the baby."
Better said after sex.

scream her mothers name


edit: scream her fathers name

Totseeeeeeeee!

This wasn't during sex, and although I still find it absolutely hilarious (mostly due to her reaction) most people I have told about this haven't agreed with me.

This girl and I were most definitely NOT in love. She was cute, but her body was not what I expected. She turned out to be my place of drunken refuge... well, for about 2 months. She thought we were going out at the end of it...

I knew I had to break things off with her, and unlike other times Ive been in this position, I really didn't give a fuck how it happened.

So we're laying in bed in the early hours of the morning. She just passed me my joint back and I get up to go to the toilet. I come back and get into bed, and deliver the line I love so much.

"Just out of interest, have you ever been tested for chlamidia(sp?)?"

She went fuckin' PSYCHO! :D

I got half dressed as I was stumbling down the stairs, pissing myself laughing... managed to just about grab all my stuff and make it to my motorbike.

The only time we spoke since then, she congratulated me on having a baby... I think this was some sort of "I know you have an STD" dig...

^
Hahaha, pure genius.

Kaaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... .

Mother fucking genius! :D

Mother fucking genius! :D

I don't get it?

The condom broke
I lied when I said I would pull out

I don't get it?

DBZ?

Kamehameha?


....

DBZ?

Kamehameha?


....

What?

The first one sounds like a drug, and the second is more like an indian name.

Apart from that, haven't got a clue what you're talking about.

DBZ = Dragon Ball Z?

Thats kinda ghay.

What?

The first one sounds like a drug, and the second is more like an indian name.

Apart from that, haven't got a clue what you're talking about.

DBZ is Dragon Ball Z as stated above, and kamehameha is some attack in the show...Remember that from years ago ;)

DBZ is Dragon Ball Z as stated above, and kamehameha is some attack in the show...Remember that from years ago ;)

Uh, ok. Thanks for explaining.

DBZ is Dragon Ball Z as stated above, and kamehameha is some attack in the show...Remember that from years ago ;)
really thats a homo reason for saying that, i assumed it was the same thing jack black yells in saving silverman

Right before cumming: "A JEW!"

"I have AIDS". Then see how long you can stay on.

A girl once shouted, "Do you like my tight fucking pussy" huge fucking turn on for me...

b;8938790']A girl once shouted, "Do you like my tight fucking pussy" huge fucking turn on for me...
Never been a turn on for me... Had a few girls use that line.

Khaaaaaaaaan!

IM ARRIVING!!!!

or

DADDY WAS A ROLLIN STONE!

and finally...



SHAZZAMM!!!

if ur gf's name is karen, just before ejaculation,

shout: " OH CINDY !! CINDYY !! CINDYYY !! "

Khaaaaaaaaan!

that get my vote for the best.

Right before klimax:
*ÅPEN KJEFTEN!*(OPEN YOUR MOUTH!)

After: Awh, my sweet, sweet, cum bucket.

No srsly, I don't need to scream. It's more like "AWhhhh..."
But I really enjoy when the girl can't help screaming, it makes me feell good inside. :)

If the condom breaks:

"We can't stop here; this is bat country!"

As you put it in:

"BOOYA!"

During:

"Uhhh... yeah... I kinda forgot my wallet... I can stop now if you want..."

These are good :D

Maybe, "HADOUKEN!"

Or mid coitus, "Me love you long time"

I like talking dirty... Just depends on what comes off the top of my head. Usually degrading, but that's half the fun.

Try spacing things out.....
I....... LOVE......... SEX!
I.......AM............. AWESOME!

Maybe in the middle, slow right down until you have stopped, when she asks why, be like, "did you remember to take your tampon out?"

"Shit, now that I'm this close to you I can really see how ugly you are"


But one I have said to my ex was "oh [insert cousins name here]" and "your cousin was better" after

Shout a different bitchs name when fucking the gf, worked well for me, ended up jacking off the rest of the night.

I've Got Aids!!!

if anyone can pull off a good mortal kombat FATALITY, sex would be a good time to do it.

I've Got Aids!!!

I've got AIDS,
Beastman AIDS,
and I'll spread it into every good boy and girl today.

Flawless victory!

Flawless victory!

That's only when you get off in the shortest possible amount of time, preferably before she even know you're inside.

FLAWLESS VICTORY.

In the tradition of mortal combat, if you were getting head, right before you came.

FINISH HIM!

lulz... thats my gf's sisters name. thatd be fuckin gold

LMFAO TAHTS GREAt

This thread must continue.

when putting it in: ROUND ONE: FIGHT!!!
before orgasm: FINISH HIM!
after: WINNER: insert name here
:)
or say "youre so loose" or "why is your ass so loose if youre a virgin? DID YOU LIE TO ME BITCH? *slap*"

Imma Chargin Ma Lazer

I've got AIDS,
Beastman AIDS,
and I'll spread it into every good boy and girl today.

Watch me give you cum stains in your fucking draws!

Bestman watch your mouth we dont need that language anymore!

no Skeletor, don't you wanna see me work it now?

Beastman show 'em how your gonna get my ass and plow, now stick your cock inside, like greg young fucking said~!

That faggot fuckign douchebag only knows how to give head, two men, in bed, his face is getting red!

*Ahem*

Anyway:

Do a big fuckoff pig/teradactile/wring wraith screetch as you come, that always freaks em out!

i like the "SSSCRAAAAAAAWWWWWWW" pterodactyl shout, and the sparta battle cries. It's all in the delivery. shout like you mean it.

how about....

the abc's ???

damn i fail.

Excelsior!

Yeah baby, are you ready for it? Go Ron Go, Go Ron Go, Go Ron Gooooo

Shout your own name. It really freaks girls out.


Man that's hilarious

A couple of CHRISTOPHER WALKEN shouts would sure freak a girl out.

I've always wanted to pull the shit from Dave Chappelle's skit where he pretends he's going to blow it and then goes 'psyche'. From the first season 'Wrap it up box' skit.

win..

Yippppieeee kaya

bitches don't know about my herpes

re: dave chappelle

and then at the end, shout "....aaaaand that's a wrap!"

Watch me give you cum stains in your fucking draws!

Bestman watch your mouth we dont need that language anymore!

no Skeletor, don't you wanna see me work it now?

Beastman show 'em how your gonna get my ass and plow, now stick your cock inside, like greg young fucking said~!

That faggot fuckign douchebag only knows how to give head, two men, in bed, his face is getting red!

*Ahem*

Anyway:

Do a big fuckoff pig/teradactile/wring wraith screetch as you come, that always freaks em out!

lol @ Brandon DiCammilo

"I'm only sleeping with you because of affirmative action"

or even better

"Yay black people!"

"I did yer ma!"

Moar Mortal Kombat:
Scorpion-style: when she's a bit too far from you, grab hold of her and yell "GET OVER HERE!" while suddenly dragging her towards you.
When you're about to bust a nut on her face, hold it in as much as possible then come violently, making her twitch her head back. When she does that, shout "EXCELLENT!" in your best Shao Kan voice (like in Scorpion's hook+uppercut combo).

Moar

4chan, GTFO.

I like really abstruse things.

"Losing your powers, ladies!"

"All the bitches are hidden!"

It just makes things really, really awkward. And, of course, the classic:

"Someday, we're both going to die!"

"I did yer ma!"

i KNEW you were from ireland as soon as i read that, btw do u go to derry university, i know a few people that do

Nah, I'm from South Derry lad. Home of the real fucking mentalists.

Just start laughing hysterically.

That'd be weird. :P

Yeah, Ive been told the only people who can really throw a brick are from South Derry.

If you really want to become a master chef of fertaliser, you need to come to South Derry. Our specialist trained team of farmers use only the finest red diesel for the exquisite world renowned eau de Ford Transit smoke.

I can't believe, with mortal kombat, nobody mentioned the off beat, high pitched

TOASTY!!!

AND IT'S A GOAL!!!!!! *Runs around run putting shirt over head and doing football celebration before running back to the confused girl on the bed and finishing the session.*

Win! :D

"Oh boy if my son could see me now!"

"LOUD NOISES!"

"Look! No hands!"

When putting on the rubber give her a confused look and say "...Balls? It doesn't say?"

Wave your hands around and say "Damn! You gotta smell this!"

As you cum, start crying and scream "I'm sorry, Jesus!"

"IT'S THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE.... OF THE TIGER! DUHN! DUHN DUHN DUHN! DUHN DUHN DAH!"

"Wimoweh, a-wimoweh, a-wimoweh. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight..."

When you start breathing heavily towards coming, "Join me on the darkside and together we shall rule the galaxy!"

"Knock knock..."

Its not really something to yell out, but please, do this!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v676/ComradeAsh/vlcsnap-92882.png

Something to say before it all starts:

"COME GET SOME!"

I've got AIDS,
Beastman AIDS,
and I'll spread it into every good boy and girl today.

123Win.

WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Aa

"WHO THE FUCK IS IN THAT CLOSET?!?"

"FIRE!!!!" Then keep fucking her, don't let her get away.

Shoop Da Whoop!

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER.

srsly.

haha i can imagine myself doing that.

A++++

!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force, ASSEMBLE!"

I Love Black People

'Bombs away' and then hit a gong.

A woman came forward a few years back and said that she'd slept with Russel Crowe back when they were both about 20 or so.

Russel Crowe: ...Go Russ...........Go Russel......... GO, GO, GO.......YEAH!!!!

You should take a shit while doing it.:D
Or just laugh the whole time
Or tickle her.

thats pretty damn funny

I....LOVE....LAMP!!
Fuckaluckadingdong.

I can't belive I paid for this........

THIIIIS IS SPAAARRRTTTAAAA!!!!!



I did it, after I watched 300 with this chick, it was fucking hilarious and we just kept laughing...

Ended up not getting off. =(

"Hi-ho Silver, Away!"

"my penis is puking...."

This works best if you're with someone who is underage:

"I AM NOT A CROOK!"

lmao i like that

From Wedding Crashers:

MOM!!! MEATLOAF!!

Autobots, roll out!



Lame, ah well.

I have this thing I take the piss out of my girlfriend for.

When she was younger she and her numerous brothers and sisters had the majority of gaming consoles available.

One time I was in her house, her mom told me, much to her embaressment, about how she was best at a Captain Planet game when she was younger, and she was allowed to play for longer than the rest as she was better than anyone at certain levels. I think this was for the Commadore 64 or something in that timescale.

Any time she calls me a nerd, I shout "The power is yours!"

It'd be so funny to shout that as I blow my load.

You could ofcourse do an Ozzy impression....


"AAAAALLL ABOARD!!"

wow..no one said

"IN THE NAME OF ALLAH!!!!"

"So this is what it is like to fuck a zombie"'

"incoming!!! "

and " oh fuck! is that rapex!?!" after you first put it in.
woman should go "oh i hope you like how rapex feels" right as he puts it in.

I LOVE YOU BABY MARRY ME, OH GOD YES YOU'RE MY WIFE WE'RE IN LOVE!!!!!! WOOHOO BABIES!!!!!!

Assuming you're just going out or fucking eachother

Yelling thats probably creepy even if you are married and do have babies.

Ask some real stupid questions you'd hear from 11 year olds or something
"Do I put my balls in too?"

"Do I put my balls in too?"

Winner, even if it isn't something you scream.

Ooooo, Caanadaaaa, our home and native laaaand...


Edit: Goddamn, every time I click outta this thread I come up with something else to add

"Fuck me like your sister does!"

Powdered ... Toast... Maaaaaaaannn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Powdered ... Toast... Maaaaaaaannn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave everything to me!

"This... is my boomstick!"

Stick just the head in, moan, pull out and say "I'm done."

Or ofcourse, just to ruin it:
Badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!
Do the entire song over and over again though.

"I came everywhere like such as and the Iraq"

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

"[Insert drolly placed movie quote here]"

Suprize Butseckz!!! (follow through)

"You can take the blue pill, and I'll knock you out, ravage you, then you'll wake up in the morning and believe it was just a dream.
Or, you can take the red pill, and I'll show you just how deep I can make the rabbit hole go."

^^^ FTW.

Another one is to simply take every "Oh YES!" you might normally say/scream and turn the 'yes' or 'yeah' into a "no" like so:

"oh no, oh no, oh.. no... OH... NO, OH NO, OH NO, NO NOOO!" <--- she'll panic and freak out.

"I came everywhere like such as and the Iraq"



GOLDEN! :D I laughed in real life!

^^^ FTW.

Another one is to simply take every "Oh YES!" you might normally say/scream and turn the 'yes' or 'yeah' into a "no" like so:

"oh no, oh no, oh.. no... OH... NO, OH NO, OH NO, NO NOOO!" <--- she'll panic and freak out.

lawl


In the kool-aid mans(pitcher/thing) voice.

OO YEAH!! :D

when you're in yell "Transformers UNITE" or something pertaining to that matter.

Act like you just remembered something from an earlier conversation. If anyone needs an explanation of this, this is the best I can think of: the other day I was trying to remember the name of the movie Nicholas Cage was in where he plays a conman, 5 hours later I remembered and yelled out "IT WAS MATCHSTICK MEN!" That will work for anything, plus it'll be really offputting the stranger it is.

Or if you're fucking a chick for the first time, keep looking at your watch and scream "1 MINUTE! A NEW RECORD!"

AHAHAHA
FUCKING WIN!
THIS!