I've been going out with this girl for about a month now. She's not a virgin, I am. We have attempted to have sex twice now, but I just can't seem to get a hard on, and if I do it doesn't last more then 20 seconds. This is only when we are both naked. I have no problem getting one lying beside her clothed or any other time.

Does anyone have any ideas or tips?

stick a finger in your ass.

Viagra.

Sounds like perhaps when you're naked and actually really seriously about to do it, you get nervous.

Remember there's no pressure to perform, you can use your fingers and tounge to satisfy her if need be and she should be more than willing to help you through your nervousness.

First thing to do is to go see your doctor and just check that there is no physical reason for the erectile disfunction.

I doubt there will be unless your my age, but it always pays to check first.

Secondly don't get worked up about this otherwise it'll become a self fulfilling prophecy/vicious circle.

Thirdly do as yoyo suggests and concentrate on her pleasure.

Fourth, if it continues then book an appointment with a sex therapist/counsellor. This is one of the few times they can be worth it and they can actually help. With young guys its almost always a mental block thing and talking it through will 'unblock' things.

First thing to do is to go see your doctor and just check that there is no physical reason for the erectile disfunction.

seems a bit drastic...by the sounds of his post, he can get an erection (at other times), just not at the appropriate time.

take it slowly, you mentioned that its only when you're both naked...try (if shes cool with it) hanging around each other naked non-sexually, it might help you become less nervous or whatever.

I've had that happen a few times.

Once was in the middle of a dark field, not exactly the best conditions to get an erection.

Other time was just some weird problem.

seems a bit drastic...by the sounds of his post, he can get an erection (at other times), just not at the appropriate time.
.

Which is exactly why he should see a doctor. The stress of having to perform maybe aggravating an underlying physical problem.

And its always good to be able to cross off a possible cause and that will help him to relax (ie knowing he isn't 'broken').

Thanks for helpful posts, guys.

I think it is possibly just a mental block as jackketch suggested.

I have only concentrated on her when we've been in the bed since we started doing stuff. I have no problem at all pleasing her using other means.

Like I said, I have no problem getting an erection. The day after we tried for the second time I masturbated (which I hardly ever do) just to make sure it worked, and it did, so I have no fear there.

I have the same problem. But I just focus on her, or just joke about it/not pay attention to it. In other words, overcome your conscious mind and let the sub-conscious do all the 'work'. It's working for me. :)

Ive had this happen before because of nerves. I fixed it by just getting her to stick it in for me, all limp. The penis seems to know when its getting pussy, and it got hard quick after that.

Dude I have the same problem. It doesn't happen every time, but from time to time it flares up again. My suggestion: take three or for shots and then start making out and shit, lots of foreplay... that's how I broke the cycle.

I was thinking about trying that. My girlfriend enjoys whiskey so I was thinking before next time we try we could drink a bit, and hopefully that will calm my nerves a bit.

same thing happened my first time, I just told her to play with it to get it hard, and when it was starting to go down, I grabbed at the bottom, pulled up (forcing blood to the top), and put it in...

Once it was in, and I was going, it wasn't hard to keep an erection at all...

It's prolly just first time jitters for you, I assume it was whiskey dick for me...


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Happened on my first time too

Just the nervousness and such

Errr i don't know why but whiskey really makes it fuckign hard to get a hard on. Vodka, rum, and tequila make me horny as fuck.

I'll keep all this in mind. We will probably get together again this coming up weekend so wish me luck!

Thanks for the reassurances guys, I was beginning to doubt myself till I read all these helpful posts.

they call it whiskey dick for a reason, don't get drunk off whiskey and try to f*** lol, tequilla, vodka, etc is ok. MJ works wonders too, feels great, puts you into a trance like state, and helps you last longer.. just my 2 cents... try not to think so much and enjoy it, trust your primal instinct.

Find something about her that turns you on and concentrate on it. I think its crazy but for some reason looking at her teeth does it for me, as well as groping her ass and fingering her pussy. Finger her pussy with one hand and jerk off with the other, then pop it in at some point and you should be so horny by then that you'll be trying not to cum right away.