yes, i know this isnt the most major of all incidences... especially seeing as it wasnt like i got her pregnant (physically impossible being a girl but you know).
Anyways, i'm the only person who knows apart from her and her bf, and she's getting an abortion next week, but still, we are all shitting ourselves about it.
This girl is like my best friend in the world and it seems like the fact that she actually is pregnant has only sunk in to me... she's worried and all that but she's not going ballistic or anything

Oh, and she's 17... i'm 15... her bf is 19, she's still at school and whatnot so she obviously doesnt want it at all...

so yeah, can anyone give me some advice on how to deal with this in case she does start to lose it or anything like that? thanks in advance

Valium'll keep her calm long enough for the mifepristone to do it's job...

If she's getting an abortion, why would she randomly go insane?

Many women who have an abortion feel a deep feeling of loss or in otherwords depression.
Not nice,if you are, be glad to be man. :)

Many women who have an abortion feel a deep feeling of loss or in otherwords depression.
Not nice,if you are, be glad to be man. :)


I'm female and I would never get an abortion. If other girls want to live with that feeling, they can be depressed all they want. It is their fault that they're depressed anyways, unless the abortion was forced or whatever.

It must be nice to be a man. :(

she would probably go insane not because of the abortion as she feels no emotional attatchment to the child yet (only like 8 weeks) but its just when the realisation that she is actually pregnant comes crashing down on her... i dunno, but its slowly getting to her.
And the abortion thing is also hard, her mum got knocked up when she was 17 (lol, family curse of getting pregnant at 17?) and she could have had an abortion but she chose not to and thats why she's so worked up about the abortion. But really, its for the better... as her boyfriend put it "what would you rather for next year? sitting in the HSC exam only worrying about the exam, or sitting in the HSC exam with a baby monitor next to you screaming WAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAH?" lol, i know that sound like a selfish reason but it would be better for the kid as well... what with a teenage mum and all that

I'm female and I would never get an abortion. If other girls want to live with that feeling, they can be depressed all they want. It is their fault that they're depressed anyways, unless the abortion was forced or whatever.

It must be nice to be a man. :(

Well you get to look forward to post-natal depression instead.
Not really, i mean we have to deal with your depression from the outside perspective, its a bit difficult. :)

she would probably go insane not because of the abortion as she feels no emotional attatchment to the child yet (only like 8 weeks)

Never underestimate 8 weeks of hormonal bombardment. :)

Well you get to look forward to post-natal depression instead.
Not really, i mean we have to deal with your depression from the outside perspective, its a bit difficult. :)
Yeah, I know that part sucks too. Damn. Maybe I don't want kids..

Yeah, I know that part sucks too. Damn. Maybe I don't want kids..

Well according to darwin and well everyone who's ever had kids in the history of mankind, its worth it. ;)

Well according to darwin and well everyone who's ever had kids in the history of mankind, its worth it. ;)

As someone whose wife is still, after 16 years, suffering from the after effects of post natal psychosis (can't remember the other name for it right this moment) i'd say yes its worth it , no question, but the price can be horrendous. Especially if like us you have a handicapped kid to boot.

Well according to darwin and well everyone who's ever had kids in the history of mankind, its worth it. ;)

So I have to have kids, beacause it's worth it? Fuck that, I want Fuck you money. 55 years old, only working because I enjoy it. The moment I get my pay cut, or other work rules changed, go into the Chief Pilot's office and tell him off. Great Stuff

It is their fault that they're depressed anyways

never ever say that line again. If my autistic brother was going through tons of shit in middle school, a grandfather dying of Parkinson's, and an aunt committing suicide, all within three months it's very easy to get depressed. But that's just me. It pisses me off when people say shit like this about depression.

I'm naturally a happy person, but the situation I just described was enough to really push me over my emotional edge, and I was depressed until I had lots of time to shift through all my feelings and really find a purpose again.

And of course your friend will go through depression. All women do when they have a miscarriage. Not saying that abortions and miscarriages are the same, but I'd imagine that the two would have very similiar negative effects on the body and mind.

never ever say that line again. If my autistic brother was going through tons of shit in middle school, a grandfather dying of Parkinson's, and an aunt committing suicide, all within three months it's very easy to get depressed. But that's just me. It pisses me off when people say shit like this about depression.

That is not how I meant it. I have my own problems with depression, I've had them for a long time. So I know how much it sucks, and I'm not saying that everyone chooses to be depressed. I know that is far from true, but not in this case.

They're the ones that chose to get the abortion, which is the reason they are depressed. Which makes it their fault.

Women are crazy. Leave nothing for chance. Go for the gutshot.

So I have to have kids, beacause it's worth it?

Far from it, shit noone has to have kids.

It'd be a bit of a waste though, the extinction of the smartest species this side of the galaxy...

Your just removing your genes from the pool, whether thats a good thing or not we cannot know. :)

Far from it, shit noone has to have kids.

It'd be a bit of a waste though, the extinction of the smartest species this side of the galaxy...

Your just removing your genes from the pool, whether thats a good thing or not we cannot know. :)

Usually the people who tell me I have to have kids are pretty conservative. Me response to them is that I'm pro gay, pro choice, anti gun and and anti religion, you want more of me around?

if her mom was pregnant at 17, maybe she should tell her mom, she sounds the most empathetic. however, thats dangerous. well jus be there for her.

if her mom was pregnant at 17, maybe she should tell her mom, she sounds the most empathetic. however, thats dangerous. well jus be there for her.

her mum wont be at all empathetic, well i guess she will, but her parents dont know that she has even had sex yet, and they really look down upon her having sex at a young age because they dont want her to go through all the same shit they had to deal with when they had her(the father walked out then came back... they've been through really rough times because she was an accident, her mum's now at uni and things are all starting to look good, but they dont want another kid to look after, especially not a grandkid). so yeah, telling her parents is sort of out of the picture even if it would go more good than harm

i'm going with her to the abortion though, it wil be either thursday or friday and we're both skipping school and going... it'll be about 4 hours all up coz of the anasthetic and all that... its scary shit i tell you

Usually the people who tell me I have to have kids are pretty conservative. Me response to them is that I'm pro gay, pro choice, anti gun and and anti religion, you want more of me around?

Well to be honest, i dont give a flying fuck.
I just like to talk shit with people who can actually express their opinions.

OP make sure she doesnt chicken out, the worst decisions are usually the ones you second guess. :)

i know that sound like a selfish reason but it would be better for the kid as well... what with a teenage mum and all that-MRman.

Ya think?

Look, without wanting to let this thread descend into a prolife/pro choice flame fest, do yourself a favour and don't lie to yourself or her.

It ain't better for the kid, even a really really shitty childhood is better than none at all (as a lot of people here can attest).

If you want to support her in having an abortion then be honest to her and yourself. Don't try and make excuses or believe the candy coloured lies and half truths of both sides.

She has a potential child and she doesn't want that child to be born.

Maybe she has good reasons, maybe she doesn't. But shoulder the burden of your/her decision and be straight with yourself and her about it.

Pretending it isn't what it is , is the surest way to have major mental problems down the line.

I'm sure even the most rabid pro choicers here will agree with that.

[from a rabid pro-choicer] jackketch is right. reality denial is not good, so if the kid is going to be flushed, do it, but don't make up excuses.