I have this problem which im sure a whole lot of you will give unhelpful or amusing advice to, but on the offchance someone will be helpful, its worth the risk.

My partner and I have been together about a year. we live together and are both very much in love. the problem is the physical side of the relationship.
she rarely wants to get it on and when we ever do, its always me doing all the work and its always missionary. any attempts to get her to use any other position are met with an argument.

She says shes not a very horny person, but that i know to be bullshit because when we started going out we fucked like bunnies and when we went out when we were 15 we were at it often as well.

she is going through some mad shit with her family at the moment, so it could be that she is depressed and has lost her libido, and that it will come back.

i plan on marrying her because apart from the sex we are perfect together. i just dont want to spend the rest of my life having shitty sex or none at all.

any advice?

Without details on these family issues, and especially specifics on what, besides your sex life of course, has changed throughout the course of your relationship, the best advice I can give you would be some very predictable spice-up-your-love-life solution involving romantic get aways, making events and presents just because, and other such things that would be part of a montage in a romantic comedy. Perhaps you're just coming here to vent your sexual frustration before, and/or after, looking up some porn. Because it seems to me that you've already gotten it figured out, or at least on your way to, since you've already speculated about the cause being the troubles in her family.

Just make her feel special, that's all I can say.

she is going through some mad shit with her family at the moment, so it could be that she is depressed and has lost her libido, and that it will come back.



this is very possible to be the cause. all i can say is to be supportive of what ever she may need and good luck.

The family issues sound like the cause here.

Apart from talking about it openly and honestly, I dunno what to do in this situation.

If you love her as much as you say you do, you'll have to put up with it, mate.

any advice?

It's called a hand.

yeah i suppose this is one of those 'lets hope it works itself out' situations.

its irritating because i cant even talk to her about it, she gets massively fucked off if i even flirt with her. I know she feels shitty but every time i bring it up or how i feel she gives the whole "its my body im not a piece of meat" routine. she wont even come for a cuddle unless she is upset.

i think maybe she is taking me for granted. for the first 6 months of our relationship i treated her like a princess. foot rubs, back rubs, cooking, paying for everything etc. I've stopped now because i figure if she cant even be bothered to please me back then im not a complete mug!

if i treat her really special im worried she will get used to it, but if i pull emotional routine on her then it could be too much what with everything thats on her plate (alcoholic mother has severe heart problems and blames it on my gf, rather than the 20 years of 3 bottles of wine and half a bottle of gin every night)

maybe i just need to bitch to random people on totse, who knows

There is a difference between a relationship and companionship. Companionship is a mutual connection on a social, mental, and spiritual level, relationships take it a step further to a physical level. If your missing one of those levels you can always look past it but the relationship suffers, so you have to ask yourself...Is it worth suffering or should we just be friends?