Well, here is the deal. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years as of may. About six months into the relationship, we started having sex. We would have it once a week somewhere on the weekends. Any more physical activity than that a week was too much for her.
Well as of about mid-july, She decided that she does not want to have sex anymore until she is married. She fucking pulled this out of the blue on me and we had not been physically active for about 2 weeks by that point. So now I am down to only receviing a hand job once a week during the weekend. She HATES to give oral, and does not like getting it because she claims she still wants to kiss while we are doing whatever. So basically She still gets something in her vagina, just substituting by dick for my finger, and i get her fucking hand now. She just turned 20 at the end of August and I am 19. Almost 2 and a half years of dating. What do I do?!
All positive help and posts are appreciated
SA

That's horrible.

good luck

I suspect this is all about power and nothing about her all of a sudden wanting to be pure for marriage.

Are you going to put up with it? If she gets away with this it sets new ground for what she can get away with in future.

My solution would be to deliberately stop spending as much time with her.

well as of right now, her and I both have class 5 days a week and work, so we only see eacthother friday night, saturday and sometimes sundays...

edit: She has also told me that if I dont like it, that i should find someone else...I also dont know if this makes a difference, but she is on birth control still, to help regulate her period

Don't settle for what she's giving you. You cant be desperate for every little scrap, or she really does have all the power. So don't finger her and don't let her jerk you off. Thats the equivalent of her throwing leftovers in a doggy bowl and making you crawl on all fours to eat it. Any respectable man would say 'Fuck it, i'm not that hungry.'

You could try acting a little more distant in the hopes that she'll come around, but honestly...I think it's just a matter of time before it ends.

End it right now. She'll either come crawling back to you or you'll get a girl that puts out.

well as of right now, her and I both have class 5 days a week and work, so we only see eacthother friday night, saturday and sometimes sundays...

Uh, that's still quite often. Do something else on this weekend. I recommend going to a bar or club or something

edit: She has also told me that if I dont like it, that i should find someone else...

She she is definitely toying with you and on a power trip.

Do you really like her enough to be treated this pathetically: ie dictated to by a woman and denied sex?

You do realize that sex feels good to women too, right? One could offer the opinion that it feels better for women since they have so many more sensitive locations for sexual arousal and stimulation.

I'd say you make her as horny as you can, as often as you can, as non-chalantly as you can; as though you aren't even intending on turning her on. Think back to all of the things you have done without penetrating her that made her exaggeratingly insist that you fuck the shit out of her before you do anything else, and do them....often.

But, again, not in a way that suggests you have any motive what-so-ever. You just realized that the shirt you're wearing needed ironing right then and there; you were just hugging her, and didn't intend to have your fingernails slowly drag across the small of her back....

I don't know, you know your woman. Get her so fucking wet that she slides right off her high horse.

I don't know, you know your woman. Get her so fucking wet that she slides right off her high horse.

Ladies and Gentleman, we have a winner of Quote Of The Day!

Maybe she felt like the relationship was turning into just sex and shes testing to see if you really love her. So you might have to convince her that you really do before she puts out again.

But the other people in this thread could be right. Shes just fucking with you. Try what I said first though, and if she keeps this shit up then break up with her.

Your missus sounds like a bit of a hypocrite.

She doesn't want to have sex until marriage, but she'll gladly let you put your find in her?! That's bullshit.

Once it's been done, the virginity is never coming back. Simple as!

Go out and find someone to fuck until you've married her and it all goes downhill from there.

LOL at savage title, and civilized message.

Tell your girlfriend to STFU, she is one of those morons who is trying to be pure, but she has already wrecked it by getting your meat staff inside her pussy.

Well the other night, I had said something to her about it being a long time since she has given me a blowjob, and we need to have that changed. She said she really didnt want to do it. So I said, "We have been dating about 2 and a half years and all you want to do is use your hand?!" and she said "noo... well yeah kind of, you can go find someone else if you are going to complain"

If this was a relationship where we had only been together like 6 months, id have no problem leaving, but its been 2 and a half years...I have a lot of feelings for this girl, but this is really starting to fuck with me, and its pissing me off. Is there anyway to coax her back into it? Its not like i dont have condoms. I just bought a box, we used one, and then she pulled this shit.

What else can i do totse?

Be a grown up and sit down and talk this out with her. Clearly, this is an issue of sublimated aggression between you two and you'll spoil the relationship if you let something like this fester. Ask her why she wants to hold off until marriage, ask her what made her change her mind, all of it. If you love her, you'll respect her enough to hear her reasons and to talk to her. Enunciate clearly in the discussion your feelings on the matter and that you still love her but are concerned. Be a mature adult.

Well, she is catholic. Before we first had sex, she had already said she wanted to wait until marriage (unlike what all of her friends did). Then around our 6 month, we did and she said she felt like it was the right thing or something of that matter. She never really was a sexual person to begin with. I recall one time we had sex 3 days in a row, and she thought that was over the top out of control kind of thing. Then eventually it was just once a week we would have sex. Then she would only want to do it every couple of weeks. Making a box of condoms stretch for 6 months..

When I had asked why she only wanted to do it once every couple of weeks, she replied that "We could go back to not doing it at all like I originally wanted" I mean, we would mess around every weekend just once, but sex was a once every couple of weeks thing. Then she decided to spring on me the thing where she didnt want to do it anymore. This was after a month of not doing it and we did it once more and it hurt her too much based on not doing it on a regular basis.

Now before you say its going to hurt if its not done regularly, and she should think of that aspect. She said before that " I would rather have it hurt a bit than to be doing it all the time"

I am just not sure what I can do Totse, It was last night that I said the "We have been dating for almost 2 and a half years and all you want to do is give me a hand job?" with her reply of "If you are going to complain about it, then find someone else who won't"

I just seem to be in a bit of a pickle, because on one hand, I have strong feelings for this girl, but on the other hand, my hormones are raging..

Another thing, she prefers if I do not masturbate and wait for her, but how the hell can I wait for her when Im not even sure im getting any on the weekend..?


Any other ideas?

WTF?

She doesnt like you masturbating?
Thats just out of order.
Shes either on a power trip, or shes trying become 'pure' once again, like previous posters said.
About that thing that you should find someone else, she sounds abit insecure.
But talk to her and explain logically that you should AT LEAST be allowed to jack it.
Fucking hell...actually, if you have to ask for permission to jerk off, then in a way, you are having sex.
Shes fucking you up the ass.
Honestly, now im mad
im typying ANGRY FACE in all caps.
Really, shes out of line.

Its not that she is saying i absolutely can not, she would just prefer it if my once a week would be her doing it. Ya know though, she is completely uncontrolling about everything else except this. I have told her before, that I feel like she gets to decide what we do and when we do. I try to initiate things, and she either accepts it or turns it down. Majority of the time I am turned down. She never initiates anything ever. I pointed that out to her too. She told me that I never give her a chance, but at the same time I feel that if I waited for her, I would never get anything ever....

This is just so frustrating, because if I say something, it will piss her off, and i know that nothing will happen. but if I dont say anything, then I have to live with it how it is. With the feelings I have for her, I dont want to break up, but its getting rediculous.

Maybe you're just a shitty lay.

That ever cross your mind?

Dude thats bullshit call her out on that shit. Women love to use sex against men knowing we tend to feel like we need it more, even though when they are horny they crave it more and a shot of booze and they will fuck the entire table of guys. Find what she loves about your relationship most and use it against her! I dont play these mindless bullshit games. Too much exercise once a week at that young of an age and couple? FUCKING L-I-A-R unless shes on Chemo!

If she likes shopping with you or going to the movies make some shit up to take away something she values about the relationship.

You pansy cunt, you don't even deserve balls. Go to the kitchen, get out an old dull knife, and remove your male identity.
Since you need help, here's what to do. Surround yourself with hot slutty chicks. Make sure your girl knows that her threat means shit, and there is a line up waiting to fill her spot. It helps to flirt a little with these chicks, and I guarantee she'll get jealous and reconsider. If she still won't change her attitude, leave her and pick one of the other girls that will put out. If you let her get away with this shit now, you'll never get any once you're married.

Yeah i'd say cut off ALL sexual contact with her, nothing not even kissing. Make it so you decide if there will be anying going to happen sexually not her. She doesn't seem like the pure type, more the control freak like everyone else is saying. She is dictating all sexual acts between you two and forcing you with the ultimatum of her leaving you if you question her rule. I know you feel strongly for her, but how strongly does she feel about you if she'd leave you rather than give you a blowjob?

Relationships are about compromise and if she isn't willing to compromise and talk about this then she clearly doesnt care for you.

she wants you to break up with her, or she is cheating on you.

I can't fucking stand people that get alot of good advice, don't take any of it, come back and are all like "wtf can I do?"

One more time to sum up everything, then I give up.

1. Stop seeing her as much
2. Masturbate /more/ often
3. when you do see her, refuse to finger her or let her touch you
4. start hanging around with your friends/slutty women more.

I guess i felt that more information was needed before deciding what i was going to do.

But I had tried to cut off sexual contact all together, but she has a stronger will than I do with that and is fine going a month without anything...I almost think the birth control she is on is fucking with her hormones, she told me she never masturbates, and rarely gets horny other than when we start getting physical. I guess to her, its on the bottom of the list, and to me, its towards the top.
And when we dont see eachother as much, she would rather use the time to talk or cuddle but nothing more...

And I explained to her that without sex, she is still getting something put in, and I am not getting to put my dick into anything. her reply was "Then you dont have to finger me, you can just mess with my clit and we will be done"


edit: a bunch of the stuff in this thread i have tried before, and thats why i came to totse for help, hoping for something different i had not yet done

Guess there's only one thing left to do.

Yes, fuck her mom.

Seriously, I don't think she wants to be with you and she sounds flaky, no matter how much you love her. Grow some balls and tell her that if she won't put out, you're done.

If you ask me, she's just trying to fuck with you until you break it off so she can blame you and feel no guilt. I suggest telling everyone that she only wanted anal sex, and for you to pretend you were her dad. That will fix her.

I guess i felt that more information was needed before deciding what i was going to do.

But I had tried to cut off sexual contact all together, but she has a stronger will than I do with that and is fine going a month without anything...I almost think the birth control she is on is fucking with her hormones, she told me she never masturbates, and rarely gets horny other than when we start getting physical. I guess to her, its on the bottom of the list, and to me, its towards the top.
And when we dont see eachother as much, she would rather use the time to talk or cuddle but nothing more...

And I explained to her that without sex, she is still getting something put in, and I am not getting to put my dick into anything. her reply was "Then you dont have to finger me, you can just mess with my clit and we will be done"


edit: a bunch of the stuff in this thread i have tried before, and thats why i came to totse for help, hoping for something different i had not yet done

*sigh* ok man you're pretty fucked. She apparently has a much stronger ability to resist anything sexual than you do and STILL wont do anything. She also won't compromise with you on the issue and threatens to break up with you if you press it. Could you live without sex? If you can then you're the only man who can. If you cant then you're left with no other option but to leave her. It may be hard but this kinda thing cant go on.

she only wanted anal sex, and for you to pretend you were her dad

Why can't I find girls like this?:(

These are all good and nice reasons.. But the real deal is that she's fucking a black dude.. He probrably ordered her to stop having sex with you and since he has a larger penis she takes orders from him, leaving you last in the chain of command of this love triangle.. well more of a line.... with 3 points..unless you participat.. well whatever.. (blunt o' nug)

She's fuckin crazy, drop that bitch right now. I know it's been 2.5 years and all, but trust me you do not want to wind up married to a nut like that.

Nightmare!

it sounds like you are under the thumb.