So across the street lives this voluptuous fox milf that I just simply wanna bang. She's not a total babe milf or anything, she is kinda chubby but firm and that i way I like em.

I will seriously attempt to post a picture of her the next time she lawn mows or car washes, which could be in the next few days. Please wait for it, theres no reason for me to trick you.

Anyways, She should be in her 30's and I know for a fact she doesnt get much cock, how can I approach her without being a total perv? Not to mention she has a kid at the age of 5 maybe 6 and a mother! Anyways school is starting soon meaning the kid will be away and the milfs mother usually drives off to her work or somewhere, and maybe the milf herself might work, but she comes back soon because her car is home.

The time she might be alone is around 1 pm to 3 or 4 pm. Thats when I have to attack that fox.

Please help, i've been jackin off to her recently alot and i want my fantasies to come true. Help me with the social approach and the physical followthrough.

Offer to clean her pool?

I saw it in a porno once...its seemed to work pretty good.

heh good stuff man, how old are you then 18+? I'd say you know she wants it, which most older women may since their husbands are probably off working hard at work alot. Taking advantage of a such situation can probably be easy. I wouldnt know but ive thought of such situations and they would be nice to fulfill someday....seeing that the real life occasion is open for you, if you can get away with it..SCH!

looking foward to the pic, and also have you even talked to her before at all? small chat or anything?

Just go and start a conversation with her... be a bit flirty, you know. Depending on how she responds to that will depend on if you continue or not. If she reacts badly to a your flirting, simply defuse the situation by saying "Hah, only kidding". If not, carry on. It might lead you where you want it to.

Zaknafein.

I'm 19 and she unusually washes her car alot, like everyother day.

Just a couple days ago, she had trouble with the lawn mover, that woulda been the perfect chance, I was too busy doing something, lols.

She doesnt have a pool, nobody has a pool around here. you'll see the neighborhood when I send the pic.

Btw, I'm 99% sure she's divorced.

I've never talked to her, I only moved to this neighborhood 3 years ago. People just mind their own business around here.

I'm not really good at flirting and usually when I lie or when I try to tell a joke, I just laugh as soon as i start to talk. Yes I laugh at my own jokes. So give me some flirting tips too, I just wanna be prepared because if I mess this up, then ill be a stalking perv of the nieghborhood.

Or ask her if her plumbing is okay...And whether you should check it out...Ya know...Just in case. "Lemme get my wrench out!" :D

[QUOTE=GloriousG;8861901]I will seriously attempt to post a picture of her the next time she lawn mows or car washes, which could be in the next few days. Please wait for it, theres no reason for me to trick you.

QUOTE]


*Waits*

Take her a pizza?

I mean, what's better than pizza and MILF?

Seriously, I strongly recommend older women. Mine was fifteen years older, kinda chunky, but with very big, very firm boobs.

I've never talked to her, I only moved to this neighborhood 3 years ago.

lol that's your problem. 3 years and you haven't talked to her?

Hmmmm if shes divorced and by herself, you better get moving on some acts if you possibly want to see some happenings. Depends on what you do find something that you can purposesly do outside in your yard thats within a "legitimate" reason to be outside. Such as messing with your own car, pop open the hood and pretend like for 10-20 minutes your fixing/modifying it. Then check to see if she watches or looks over at you. Supposing you look up at her once whilst she looking over, say hey how you doing? Then there you go, go from there.

What kind of car does she have that she washes it all the time, assuming its something descent....? That could be a quick conversational piece.

I think she's washing the car because she knows you're watching. Speaking of porn...

... I once saw one where the girl came to a car-repair service to take back her car, and the service-men told her that it's not ready yet. She then proceeded to have sex with all of them, and after that left, without caring about her car anymore.

They obviously didn't spend much money on a script-writer.

become friends with her son and get invited over one day and hang by the pool. Then offer to mow her lawn and if she's liek "you missed a spot over there-ere-ere-"
then say: ALL I WANNA DO IS STACEY'S MOMMMMM. Thend

Fuck yourself.

fail.

I come up with unimaginitive insults because it makes me feel GOOD!

LAWL BEANER

Are you enjoying bliss?

Start a conversation about the way she cleans her car so much, tease her about missing a spot etc.

You couldn't make a Stavey's mom reference funny. You suck ass.

Are you enjoying bliss?

nah, I'm mowing a lawn for 3 bucks an hour.

nah, I'm mowing a lawn for 3 bucks an hour.

You really are an idiot. Do you think because I have El Yucatan as my location that I am somehow Hispanic? Would it even be a further stretch of your imagination to know that people other then native born Spanish speakers speak Spanish?

Maybe this is why everyone hates Canada...

You really are an idiot. Do you think because I have El Yucatan as my location that I am somehow Hispanic? Would it even be a further stretch of your imagination to know that people other then native born Spanish speakers speak Spanish?

Maybe this is why everyone hates Canada...

http://tinyurl.com/ywdyp6

http://tinyurl.com/ywdyp6

Let me reiterate it since you can't tell what pigment my skin is..."You're an idiot".

Let me reiterate it since you can't tell what pigment my skin is..."You're an idiot".

white beaner, brown beaner, female blue whale beaner it doesn't matter. By virtue of the fact that you live in Mexico makes you a bean-er. Now please good sir...back to work-the strawberry doesn't pick itself.

white beaner, brown beaner, female blue whale beaner it doesn't matter. By virtue of the fact that you live in Mexico makes you a bean-er. Now please good sir...back to work-the strawberry doesn't pick itself.

How fucking stupid can you be? The Yucatan is not Mexico, and I do not live in Mexico. Can you stop humiliating your sex and country for a few minutes?

On top of that, stop humiliating yourself. Read something...I mean god damn, fucking moron...

How fucking stupid can you be? The Yucatan is not Mexico, and I do not live in Mexico. Can you stop humiliating your sex and country for a few minutes?

On top of that, stop humiliating yourself. Read something...I mean god damn, fucking moron...

The Yucatan isn't in Mexico??? wow. just wow. You are one. dumb. shit

The Yucatan isn't in Mexico??? wow. just wow. You are one. dumb. shit

People from the Yucatan Peninsula to my knowledge are not considered Mexican. Mind proving otherwise?

Edit: Lol, wooooops. Looks like it is a state of Mexico, my bad ;P

People from the Yucatan Peninsula to my knowledge are not considered Mexican. Mind proving otherwise?

so the Yucatan is part of Mexico but nobody there consideres themselves Mexican. Just because you are insecure about your body shape (or lack thereof) and hates your own race (Mexicans) doesn't mean your not still a fat, degenerate spic. k? k

Yucatán is the name of one of the 31 states of Mexico, located on the north of the Yucatán Peninsula. The term The Yucatán refers to the three states on the peninsula: Yucatán, Campeche, and Quintana Roo; all three modern states were formerly part of the larger historic state of Yucatán in the 19th century. The state capital of Yucatán is Mérida.

so the Yucatan is part of Mexico but nobody there consideres themselves Mexican. Just because you are insecure about your body shape (or lack thereof) and hates your own race (Mexicans) doesn't mean your not still a fat, degenerate spic. k? k

Lol, I'm sorry but that picture you are flaunting was taking probably close to 3 1/2 years ago now. I really am not hurt by anything you critique in it.

I am really only flabbergasted that you consider me Mexican...

Yes, and I realize that the Yucatan is part of Mexico, calm down I already admitted to the mistake. One has to question though why are you staring at my location?

oh i didnt read it, sorry for posting it

Just because you are insecure about your body shape (or lack thereof) and hates your own race (Mexicans) doesn't mean your not still a fat, degenerate spic. k? k

lol, but you forgot, round is indeed a shape. but yea, he's a stupid fuck. how the fuck do you not know what country you live in?

so does every thread on totse carry some hijack ADHD gene?

pretty much.

Option 1. On a hot day, while she is out washing her car...

You: Hi. Pretty hot out, isn't it?
Her: blah blah blah
You: I'm heading down to the store for something cold, you want me to pick you up a cold, frosty beer.
Her 1: Yes. /conversation
Her 2: blah blah don't drink beer.
You: What do you usually drink?
Her: blah blah whatever blah
You: Whatever? That I can do.
Then you go get whatever. Don't give me any excuses about you not being old enough to buy. I was buying vodka at 14. And I'm a hairless Asian.

Option 2. Start playing with her kid... simple.

I'd say stick to the liquoring her up plan. Find some way to get some kind of alcohol in her. She's in her 30s and divorced. I live in a town full of exactly that. This town is a bunch of apartments, bars, and restaurants. Alcohol seems to work pretty well.

Maybe this is why everyone hates Canada...Can you stop humiliating your sex and country for a few minutes? Do you really think that's the real Sick_Boy? Or are you simply having some fun of you're own?

Do you really think that's the real Sick_Boy? Or are you simply having some fun of you're own?

Humiliate the image, and the image of the original will be humiliated as well.

Anyone named Sick Boy is catching shit, too bad they didn't capitalize on my huge blunder, lol.

Humiliate the image, and the image of the original will be humiliated as well.Mayhaps I missed something, but what do you have against the real S_B?

Mayhaps I missed something, but what do you have against the real S_B?

Lol, nothing, not even a feint hint at curiosity...

Lol, nothing, not even a feint hint at curiosity...Then why would you want to "humiliate" her?

I read most of the constructive replies and it is helpful. Turned into some sort of mexican argument all the sudden.

Anyways I'm waiting just like you guys for her to come outside and mow or wash, and as far as the picture goes, unless she comes out to do those things, its very hard to get my camera ready in time, if she's not out for mowing, she'll come out hop in the car and leave in 3 seconds.

That make friends or play with her kid was pretty good but her kid is a girl. So I dunno i'm gonna leave the kid outta this.

That make friends or play with her kid was pretty good but her kid is a girl. So I dunno i'm gonna leave the kid outta this.


You don't necessarily have to play with her. Just buy her something cheap that kids like. Something pretty girly, maybe. Like those cheap 99 cent toys at the liquor store that are packaged with a single cardboard card and laminate. A pretty good way to break the ice as long as you don't make it sound kind of creepy like you are going after her daughter.

But seriously... alcohol. Get that in her and you'll be on your way to putting something else in her.

Then why would you want to "humiliate" her?

Figure this out, and you might just unravel the mystery behind trolls.

Figure this out, and you might just unravel the mystery behind trolls.
But I thought you claimed to not be a troll?

I mean, if you are a troll, then yeah, it makes perfect sense. But if you claim not to be...

But I thought you claimed to not be a troll?

I mean, if you are a troll, then yeah, it makes perfect sense. But if you claim not to be...

What is with you and details? Just because I understand trolls does not mean that I am a troll. Just because you do not understand trolls, and I understand trolls, does not mean you can make the connection that I am a troll. Just because I fuck with people on here for no other reason then a simple notion, does not mean I care about them, or have any interest in them personally.

Does that clear things up?

On my head?

How can someone drop me onto my own head?

What this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V_rXTp1yBU&mode=related&search=

Looks like your situation is almost exactly the same.

I got pics,

here's one of her walking back from getting mail.
http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/8629/dsc0006kn8.jpg

here's one of her backside
http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/5042/dsc0009lt2.jpg

house/car
http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/8592/dsc0011mc2.jpg

I'm sorry if she doesn't satisfy you guys, I admit myself she's not really as good as the description I gave her in my first post, but she's still hot and I wanna DO HER!

In addition, I have some very different news, but i'll tell you later.

Disappointment.

Haha spy shots there....looks like a open and shut case. Whats the news?

Disappointment.

QFT :(

News that would make RobinHoody satisfied.

but i can't tell you now, and don't ask me again, when it's time, ill tell you myself.

It better be worth the anticipation

Actually I'll take that back.

Robinhoody may be one that can never be satisfied for he hopes for unreal odds.

But I am sure this new material I've mentioned is better than the pics but it's DIFFerent.

tell usss nowwwwwwww. she definatly saw you taking the pics and called the cops on you for sexual harrasment

She looks like she's 4'11.

Jesus dude.

well she was pretty hot i guess, i wouldn't exactly kick her outta bed, but not really something i'd lust after

yeaaa.. But I have had pseudo-obsessions with uglier women if theres just something about em. YEEEEHDHDHDHDH!?

Enough of this bullshit, post the nudes already!

TL,DR.

Still a good thread though, I read all the big replies.

For some reason, every single post in this thread was absolutely fucking hilarious.

Btw, I have a thing for older women and I wouldn't fuck her.

I got pics,

Dude, what the FUCK!? I'm seriously disappointed. Especially after watching the Stacy's Mom video. Couldn't you have just Google'd MILF and found some photos of someone to save yourself that embarassment?!

Really, just choose some, and pretend they were the ones you took.

http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&q=MILF&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2

Obviously, the more subtle ones.

Hmmm not exactly the MILF I think of in my fantasies but she could be someone I might do - for some strange reasons.

ok man time for a fuckin status update...are you bangin that milf yet or not?!? Come on! Do somethin, take our advice and post pics of the results!

Anyways, i don't wanna keep you guys waiting, ill tell you the different news right now.

I realize she's not that good looking, I knew this, I even gave you a hint that she wasnt that good looking in my first post, I was actually never planning to have sex with her because I always doubted she wouldnt look very good without her clothes on. I could have posted Milf pics I found on the web, but.. i didnt wanna seem like a troll.

Anyways, the different news is that I found another Milf. She's a USPS mail lady I found in my old apartment complex. I'm thinking of totally flashing her. Yes you heard me. She looks gorgeous and curvy and not chubby. (Again don't expect stacey's mom, staceys mom is a fake milf that they put on tv.). She's pretty thick and looks similar to this woman at assparade.com (The blonde one in the episode "barn yard booty" LOLS!). I'm trying to get pics or possibly even a video of me flashing her haha, and I can get it done if i tried hard enough, plus the apartment complex is pretty much deserted especially at noon.

I cant believe ive turned into a stalker... its so fun but at the same time I feel pathetic =/. Now i'm a real life milf hunter on top of that plus im a nudist. jeez. I gotta stop this nonsense after this. I'm really going to do this flash one day or another, but don't wait for me. I'll just make a new thread and then tell you one day.

Trying saying hello or starting a conversation with her. From then on smile and wave at her whenever you see her outside.

After that goes on for a little while, start doing yardwork outside with your shirt off whenever shes outside.

staceys mom is a fake milf that they put on tv.Rachel Hunter is very real, and is most certainly a certified MILF...

Rachel Hunter is very real, and is most certainly a certified MILF...

Wonder if she's related to Jeff?

Ewwwwwwwww that bitch is ugly!

+1 for red head tho.

so the Yucatan is part of Mexico but nobody there consideres themselves Mexican. Just because you are insecure about your body shape (or lack thereof) and hates your own race (Mexicans) doesn't mean your not still a fat, degenerate spic. k? k

shut up faggot

What happened to just flirting? But no! You're just going to jump right in with flashing her...Sounds like a great way to get arrested.