So there's this girl, right, and she is everything I've ever thought was worthwhile. She reminds me of this one girl I've always loved and wanted to be close to, since I met her. And yet, she doesn't resemble her in any sense. It's bizarre...
The only reason I could cognitively connect them is that they have their lives together in a way few people do.
Anyways, it's been coke and candy since I've met her, 'til last night. I got really drunk with her, she told me shit, I told her shit, and basically told her that I didn't want to date her because she was someone towards which I never wanted my affection to sour. She says I make her happy.
And I knew at certain points in the night I could have fucked her, but I didn't, and for some reason I don't know why. I want to know her. But I don't want to fall into the pattern of being just a friend. I know I could (possibly) come to love her, and don't want to be the shoulder to lean on and nothing more.
So um... What the fuck? I'm casting about for any perspective that could help.

Have some sex with her.

Why can't you be with the other person you've "always" loved?

EDIT: Have you noticed that most of these "I've fucked up" threads include the use of alcohol?

Why can't you be with the other person you've "always" loved?

It's a different kind of "always loved." I loved her, I realized that "us" didn't work, and I still love her but not as someone I want to be with. She is someone I still respect, and turn to in desperation, but have realized can't make me happy.

So you feel because this other girl seems to have a link to the girl you respect, you can't have a relationship with her?

I may be the only one but I'm still slightly confused as to your problem. You told a girl you didn't want to ruin your relationship with by dating. But you want to date her?

I dont see how you 'fucked up' at all.

You shared your feelings and emotions with a girl, and trust me, they love that shit.

I think you would have fucked up if you'd screwed her last night, but you didnt.


Enjoy her company, see where it goes from here.

Allthough dont get close to her if it's just because she reminds you of someone you really love. If she finds out she'll be destroyed.

Make It Kantong!

yoyobek speaks the truth. You didn't fuck up.

Tell her how you feel, etc, and let things run their course.

If you want a relationship though, try not to get stuck in the friends zone or the guy who has a shoulder to lean on. Decide what you want and go for it.

She sounds like a good close friend to have. If you want your relationship to be that way, tell her so there's no misunderstanding. That would be the worst. Confusion/misunderstanding is always the worst, lulz.

Just tell her everything you said, everything you're thinking. Lay it all out. She will appreciate that.

You did well mate. You were honest and open about how you felt. Very admirable.

If you think you could have feelings for her and don't want to be just a friend then I'd say give it a go but let it go slow and steady. Haste makes mess.

Apart from that I can't see anything wrong with the situation.

Welll I know for a fact that if some relationship started, sex would be involved from the get go so I'm not sure if that's what you're getting at (blah blah she was molested blah blah is a nympho blah whatever). The only problem is that I have a tendency to fall into things, and fall HARD. Like, faster than most people. It's really hard for me to love someone and still remain emotionally distant enough not to break down and lose friendship with someone. That's really what I'm afraid of. Plus, she's like 17 (for the rest of september).

If you're gonna be her emotional tampon...Well...That sucks man.

If the emotional ramblings are too much for you I'd say stay away and do what you're doing.

Eh, you're right, but I've already decided I'm that I won't go down that path. I've still got... at least a few days' window to fuck her. And that's sooo doable. But hey, I've come back from the emotional tampon many a time.