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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
# 1
2007-08-30, 23:55
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Wwjd
What would JC do if I held a knife to an innocent persons throat and told him to suck me off or the person gets murdered?
If he sucked me off then he would not be sin free.
If he allowed her to die then he would not be sin free.
Don't think he would smite me with his magic either. He never did that shit. And god is pretty absent at this point especially with the whole smiting thing. So no help from daddy (too bad it is not daddy from the old testament)
So does JC become fag or let an innocent person die?
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# 2
2007-08-31, 01:07
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Re: Wwjd
This thread is overwhelmingly immature.
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# 3
2007-08-31, 01:24
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazz
This thread is overwhelmingly immature.
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I totally agree.
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# 4
2007-08-31, 01:59
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokeProphet
What would JC do if I held a knife to an innocent persons throat and told him to suck me off or the person gets murdered?
If he sucked me off then he would not be sin free.
If he allowed her to die then he would not be sin free.
Don't think he would smite me with his magic either. He never did that shit. And god is pretty absent at this point especially with the whole smiting thing. So no help from daddy (too bad it is not daddy from the old testament)
So does JC become fag or let an innocent person die?
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This makes no sense at all. You would be killing the person, the "sin" would be on you. You are preventing him saving her, its not his fault. And also, do you seriously think Jesus did "magic"?
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# 5
2007-08-31, 02:28
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Re: Wwjd
If you did cut their throats Jesus could resurect them.
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# 6
2007-08-31, 03:26
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Regular
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Son of Dick, Tex's
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Re: Wwjd
Sucking you off doesn't make him a fag.
Liking it would.
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# 7
2007-08-31, 05:52
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokeProphet
What would JC do if I held a knife to an innocent persons throat and told him to suck me off or the person gets murdered?
If he sucked me off then he would not be sin free.
If he allowed her to die then he would not be sin free.
Don't think he would smite me with his magic either. He never did that shit. And god is pretty absent at this point especially with the whole smiting thing. So no help from daddy (too bad it is not daddy from the old testament)
So does JC become fag or let an innocent person die?
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Whats the difference between JC or your girlfriend sucking you off?
None at all. They're both mythical characters.
__________________
Eoghan, Samwise gamgee. The truth is out there, people.
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# 8
2007-08-31, 05:55
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackketch
Whats the difference between JC or your girlfriend sucking you off?
None at all. They're both mythical characters.
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I laughed at that.
Minions Attack!
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# 9
2007-08-31, 06:59
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Re: Wwjd
Jesus would get nailed to two big peices of wood and die, just like everyone else on this planet before and after him.
Oh wait, what was the question again?
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# 10
2007-08-31, 18:24
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Moderator
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Wasilla, Alaska
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazz
This thread is overwhelmingly immature.
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Agreed.
I would add absurd, inane, pointless, and mildly disgusting.
__________________
"Love is infallible; it has no errors, for all errors are the want of love." -- William Law
"The astrolabe of the mysteries of God is Love." -- Rumi
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# 11
2007-08-31, 18:32
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Regular
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Just off the capital, Canada
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Re: Wwjd
Jesus would have to ask himself What Would James Bond Do?
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# 12
2007-08-31, 19:25
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsMerchant
Agreed.
I would add absurd, inane, pointless, and mildly disgusting.
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Again I completely agree with that assessment.
Got tired of not hearing from christians when I discuss Evolution or the Astrotheological contents of the bible.
Figured this is so inane they could participate.
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# 13
2007-09-04, 15:51
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Regular
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Groovy.
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Re: Wwjd
He would talk to you, and somehow talk you out of killing her. He was a philosopher more than anything, after all.
And, of course, he wasn't "sin-free". Guess why there are no writings about his life through his late teens and his twenties?
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# 14
2007-09-04, 16:29
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackketch
Whats the difference between JC or your girlfriend sucking you off?
None at all. They're both mythical characters.
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ZING!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreamOfWarholSoup
Jesus would have to ask himself What Would James Bond Do?
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Then Jesus would karate chop the knife out of the OP's hand, stab the OP in the neck and have sex with the beautiful maiden he rescued. All on the edge of a cliff, with sharks circling in the waters below.
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# 15
2007-09-05, 01:13
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Regular
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.:six degrees of synesthesia:.
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Re: Wwjd
I cannot believe this pathetic drivel is allowed to exist in this forum. *shakes head*
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# 16
2007-09-05, 01:20
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokeProphet
So does JC become fag or let an innocent person die?
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This is an easy one.
Jesus turns all the water in the knife-wielder's body to wine, causing him to die of alcohol poisoning,, allowing the victim to escape.
Then he resurrects the knife-wielder. Ain't murder if they're not dead!
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#17
2007-09-07, 00:54 |
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Agent 008
He would talk to you, and somehow talk you out of killing her. He was a philosopher more than anything, after all.
And, of course, he wasn't "sin-free". Guess why there are no writings about his life through his late teens and his twenties?
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Ummm.....the mythical christian Jesus was completely free of sin. Never sinned. Perfect sacrifice. Lamb of God and all that stuff. Jesus had ZERO sin in the Christian mythos. |
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#18
2007-09-07, 04:08 |
Galbador 
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
Ummm.....the mythical christian Jesus was completely free of sin. Never sinned. Perfect sacrifice. Lamb of God and all that stuff. Jesus had ZERO sin in the Christian mythos.
Except going a bit insane in a synagogue and smashing the place up.
Edit: Although thinking about it, seeing as the mythical christian Jesus would have probably been written by people who were anti-jewish this might have been admirable behaviour at the time the bible was written.
So yeah, you're right.
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# 19
2007-09-07, 04:24
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Re: Wwjd
JC Denton? He had cool glasses.
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#20
2007-09-07, 09:22 |
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Re: Wwjd
Ummm.....the mythical christian Jesus was completely free of sin. Never sinned. Perfect sacrifice. Lamb of God and all that stuff. Jesus had ZERO sin in the Christian mythos.
But we all know, that it's not possible. As long as 'sin' is not defined as "acting unlike Jesus".
So if Jesus in fact was a real person, I believe he had to sin every now and then.
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# 21
2007-09-07, 20:21
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Regular
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Worcester England.
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Re: Wwjd
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iehovah
This is an easy one.
Jesus turns all the water in the knife-wielder's body to wine, causing him to die of alcohol poisoning,, allowing the victim to escape.
Then he resurrects the knife-wielder. Ain't murder if they're not dead!
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ZING!
I should visit this forum more often.
Full of chuckles.
arx_
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#22
2007-09-07, 20:48 |
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Re: Wwjd
But we all know, that it's not possible. As long as 'sin' is not defined as "acting unlike Jesus".
So if Jesus in fact was a real person, I believe he had to sin every now and then.
If Jesus was a human whose myth was blown way out of proportion then yes he sinned.
If Jesus is like the mythical christian Jesus then NO he was completely free from Sin. He was God's Sun, and The light of the world and Never commited a Sin in his life.
This is what christians believe. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice and fulfilled the covenant with God. He was perfect because unlike EVERY LAST OTHER PERSON ON EARTH he was completely free from sin.
You however are a worthless piece of sinning shit who are born into the debt and slavery of sin and evil. You should be ashamed for ever being born. YOU PIECE OF SHIT. You will die and burn in Hell for all of eternity no matter what you do because you are born a sinner.
But.......
Only way to overcome this is of course to accept Jesus into your heart, ask his forgiveness and you will be granted life everlasting in the kingdom of God.
WOW fucking WOW. David Koresh and Jim Jones had better brain washing techniques than this shit.
You know what is funny. The only way you feel ashamed at being born into sin and fucking and desiring and LIVING LIFE is if a Christian explains to you that you should be ashamed. Someone has to implant the idea that titty fucking a slut while tonging her sister's ass is evil before you feel guilty by it.
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#23
2007-09-09, 23:06 |
Merlinman2005
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
But we all know, that it's not possible. As long as 'sin' is not defined as "acting unlike Jesus".
So if Jesus in fact was a real person, I believe he had to sin every now and then.
If the Biblical Jesus was real, then he DID NOT sin. He COULD NOT sin, because he was God Incarnate.
but
he could be TEMPTED. Just not sin.
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#24
2007-09-09, 23:34 |
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Re: Wwjd
If the Biblical Jesus was real, then he DID NOT sin. He COULD NOT sin, because he was God Incarnate.
but
he could be TEMPTED. Just not sin.
But let's be realistic here. We know Jesus by the writings of his "students". He obviously saw the barbarism that was going on around him in the world, and he came up with an idea, how to attempt to change the world. Thus, he turned his life story into a lesson to us all, I believe supposedly, and asked his scholars to document it according to his thoughts. He was obviously an extraordinary person, and was deeply respected by his apostles.
The fact that he's "sin-free" in my opinion is bullshit, created by the church, to make us all feel inferior and miserable, and to make people pay the Church to rid us of our sins. Nobody is sin-free, even God (according to his actions as described in the old testament).
Christianity is ok as a religion, it's the Church that I dislike. If God exists, why would I need a bunch of people who are as sinful as me to communicate with him? The teachings of Jesus are ok in nature, it's the interpretation of them by the Church that is corrupt and oppressive.
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#25
2007-09-09, 23:47 |
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Re: Wwjd
But let's be realistic here. We know Jesus by the writings of his "students". He obviously saw the barbarism that was going on around him in the world, and he came up with an idea, how to attempt to change the world. Thus, he turned his life story into a lesson to us all, I believe supposedly, and asked his scholars to document it according to his thoughts. He was obviously an extraordinary person, and was deeply respected by his apostles.
The fact that he's "sin-free" in my opinion is bullshit, created by the church, to make us all feel inferior and miserable, and to make people pay the Church to rid us of our sins. Nobody is sin-free, even God (according to his actions as described in the old testament).
Christianity is ok as a religion, it's the Church that I dislike. If God exists, why would I need a bunch of people who are as sinful as me to communicate with him? The teachings of Jesus are ok in nature, it's the interpretation of them by the Church that is corrupt and oppressive.
Jesus was most likely a mad man who suffered from hallucinations. He was charismatic enought to attract followers in the spirit of jim jones or david koresh. He attracted more than they did b/c they did not have television or any real entertainment at all.
He was killed, committed suicide, mass suicide who knows........but his followers refused to believe that the self proclaimed son of god could die. Made shit up. It caught on. Bada bing bada boom new testement...Constantine...inquisition dark ages.......which brings us to today......pat robertson and dubya.
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#26
2007-09-09, 23:54 |
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Re: Wwjd
Jesus was most likely a mad man who suffered from hallucinations. He was charismatic enought to attract followers in the spirit of jim jones or david koresh. He attracted more than they did b/c they did not have television or any real entertainment at all.
He was killed, committed suicide, mass suicide who knows........but his followers refused to believe that the self proclaimed son of god could die. Made shit up. It caught on. Bada bing bada boom new testement...Constantine...inquisition dark ages.......which brings us to today......pat robertson and dubya.
I agree with you mostly.
If a time machine was ever invented, first thing I'd do is go back to those times. It's interesting to see what happened there in reality.
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#27
2007-09-09, 23:58 |
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Re: Wwjd
I agree with you mostly.
If a time machine was ever invented, first thing I'd do is go back to those times. It's interesting to see what happened there in reality.
It would be cool. I am convinced you could bring back Jesus Christ himself and have him tell all the christians that he was full of shit and they STILL would refuse to believe it.
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#28
2007-09-10, 00:00 |
Merlinman2005
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
Jesus was most likely a mad man who suffered from hallucinations. He was charismatic enought to attract followers in the spirit of jim jones or david koresh. He attracted more than they did b/c they did not have television or any real entertainment at all.
He was killed, committed suicide, mass suicide who knows........but his followers refused to believe that the self proclaimed son of god could die. Made shit up. It caught on. Bada bing bada boom new testement...Constantine...inquisition dark ages.......which brings us to today......pat robertson and dubya.
um.....
what kind of hallucinations?
And you are seriously claiming that because of a lack of media, ancient peoples flocked to Jesus?
wtf?
Plus, I doubt a "madman" would attract such a following.
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#29
2007-09-10, 00:04 |
Merlinman2005
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
But let's be realistic here. We know Jesus by the writings of his "students". He obviously saw the barbarism that was going on around him in the world, and he came up with an idea, how to attempt to change the world. Thus, he turned his life story into a lesson to us all, I believe supposedly, and asked his scholars to document it according to his thoughts. He was obviously an extraordinary person, and was deeply respected by his apostles.
The fact that he's "sin-free" in my opinion is bullshit, created by the church, to make us all feel inferior and miserable, and to make people pay the Church to rid us of our sins. Nobody is sin-free, even God (according to his actions as described in the old testament).
Christianity is ok as a religion, it's the Church that I dislike. If God exists, why would I need a bunch of people who are as sinful as me to communicate with him? The teachings of Jesus are ok in nature, it's the interpretation of them by the Church that is corrupt and oppressive.
I agree. Personally I think if Jesus existed, then he was just a person who wanted to enlighten people.
Don't forget that when his "students" wrote about him, he was long long dead, and they were probably well into senility.
I think he was just was on shrooms, and saw the real Truth, but (meta/)physically was nobody all that special.
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#30
2007-09-10, 01:43 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
um.....
what kind of hallucinations?
And you are seriously claiming that because of a lack of media, ancient peoples flocked to Jesus?
wtf?
Plus, I doubt a "madman" would attract such a following.
Maybe not a 'madman' but he could've been somewhat psychotic. He had a way of thinking and viewing the world that many people liked so they went with it.
I really don't give a damn either way.
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#31
2007-09-10, 02:40 |
Merlinman2005
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
Maybe not a 'madman' but he could've been somewhat psychotic. He had a way of thinking and viewing the world that many people liked so they went with it.
I really don't give a damn either way.
okay
well define psychotic IN YOUR OWN WORDS
(pleasepleaseplease don't look it up now)
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#32
2007-09-10, 02:51 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
okay
well define psychotic IN YOUR OWN WORDS
(pleasepleaseplease don't look it up now)
Psychotic means you have a way of thinking that isn't completely similar to the supposed normal way of thinking. It doesn't have to be batshit insane different, but different enough to garner attention (professional or otherwise) towards it. A psychosis isn't necessarily a bad thing if the person's happy and it's not in direct conflict with everyone around them. A lot of people think it means psychopathic which is pretty much psychotic but psychopaths are usually associated with very anti-social behavior. A psychotic can get along fine in the regular world so long as they aren't so detached from reality that they are considered insane and shipped off to the hospital.
Or that's what I remember it meaning.
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#33
2007-09-11, 04:11 |
CatharticWeek
Regular
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Re: Wwjd
I'm pretty sure JC would be a bite-the-bullet utilitarian.
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# 34
2007-09-11, 04:16
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Re: Wwjd
Since when is it a sin to allow someone to be killed? 
Maybe, it's not the best course of action, but in the end you would be the one doing the killing and all the blame would fall on you.
BrokeProphet, will you still think this is a big joke when God casts you into hell for your sins? |
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