I am a pussy.

Ahhh! I Can't Handle Love! It's Too Painful. It Just Makes Me Cry And Reject All Other Happy Aspects Of Reality.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I can relate to what you are saying. I have had a similar situation going on for 3 years but it ended last year (Emigration lol too far away to bother me now) , but yeah i would always see her and begin to feel really genuinely happy bordering on euphoria. We would always be down the pub and we would have such a good night shooting pool and getting hammered on Strongbow and stella.

We aren't going out and she has aways had other boyfriends but we are such old friends she treated me like a brother. When she felt too high or like she was gonna hurl when all our mates were together she would always choose to cuddle me untill she felt better , her boyfriend at the time really didn't like this .

But i was always worried that i something tiny i said might have affected her in a bigger way than i thought before.Looking back i was just being paranoid . I was in love with her there is no doubt . but i am on the other side of the world now.

There is a point when you realize that love doesn't always work for both of you. Even if it is going to tear you apart you have to take yourself away from them so that they can move on. There isn't many gentlemen left in this world be part of the few.

Well, part of the point is, that I believe that in a heartbeat, if I decided to confront her about our relationship we could start dating and I'd be happy as hell, but my fear of the end of the relationship (probalby becuase my last relationship tore me to shit when it ended), is so powerful that I don't think I can do it. It's not a big deal with any other girl. I'm fucking great with girls. But we're in love with each other, there's no one else in either of our lives, she's the one who kisses me and asks how I'm doing in that voice that only comes out when she talks to me, lbalbhabhalab.adkfsavo. hooballapoolta.

dude what the fuck are you on?

You cannot control your emotions. You have two choices.

1) Enjoy the feeling of powerlessness, literally go with the flow of your waving emotions, and live life on the fly.

2) Get on top of them, become a man, become strong and secure.

That's how I see it.

I think you need time to yourself so you can step back from it all. Otherwise you'll always be getting sucked in to probolems.

I was in the same boat for some of that.
My [now] ex would always act all lovey dovey and shit when we were together, and everything would be perfect.
Then I would go away, cause I had school to go to, and while we still talked on msn and the phone and shit, I was constantly worried that she was doing stuff behind my back and all that.
Then I would go home for a week, we'd hang out and everything is perfect again. Over and over.
Turns out that in the end, I was rightfully worried, because she did cheat on me for the last month of our relationship.
So I don't mean to sound like an ass, but maybe you are having these feelings for a reason, and she really is a cheating bitch who's playing you like mad.

Don't fucking tell me that man... I'm in the same fucking boat, and now you just sent my paranioa through the roof... It's weird... I never had any problems with any of the other girls I "Loved", but this one is sadly different..... She tells me she loves me and everything, and when we're together everything is perfect, but for some reason I feel like every little fucking thing I say is going to fuck everything up, and when she's not around I fucking get really depressed and my mind is flooded with really paranoid thoughts that she's doing shit behind my back.... I mean, she's still friends with her ex.... I sound like a fucked up freak who can't handle love, but I never had this problem with previous gf's.... fuck, I need some drugs...

You know, actually reading that in depth, it seems disturbingly similar to something that happened to me. I don't have any advice, it's gonna suck when you guys break up--hardcore. But you shouldn't worry about her hating you. If she did, she'd let you know.

Haha. This is comforting. But here's the deal. I was in the same boat as myself about a year aog with a different girl. She ended up cheating on me.

This other girl, I'm not even dating. I'm just pretty sure we're intensely in love, but something is stopping either of us from taking the initiative to really start the relationship. and i still worry about this shit.

but christ. the fact that you guys have felt the same way. comforting as hell. i thought i was the only pussy who couldn't handle really strong love. it just drives me insane. there are girls that i'll love, but i still see the annoying girlish characteristics they have and like my time away from them.

and then there are these other girls i'd like to be around 24 hours a day. and she's depressed as hell right now. her parents wont' talk to her and she doesn't know why. they're not the type of parents to ever do that and she was recently on vacation with a friend of her's, who i'm not concerned at all about. they fucked once and she said she felt gross and that aspect was over. anyway. he's her emotional support right now. i don't mind. i just miss having her around. when i head off to college in a few weeks we'll live in the same place. that'll be nice. we'll see what happens from there.