OK, long post, here goes... been seeing this girl for 3 months. I really like her. She really likes me... I think.

She tells me she loves me so much it becomes a hassle as I feel obligated to return each comment. She lives a fair way away from me and though I spend most of my time at hers, if I'm ever to go home, she gets so anxious and panicky that I'm going "to find someone better" etc, no matter how much reassurance I give her. Her friends are a bit pissed with her for spending all her free time with me, and though I say perhaps she should spend more time with them (HINT HINT) she insists she just wants to be with me all the time. It's been 3 months and she's begging me to marry her, she's always talking about her future etc... admittedly this last bit is my fault as I do nothing to discourage it as I genuinely like her (and I have to feel superior in a relationship, bit of a silly complex of mine). She spends almost all her time telling me how much she loves me. But then...

...before getting with me, she was seeing this guy, Dave, for quite a while - nearly a year. Compared to me, Dave's got a much worse figure, much uglier face, he's a bit simple, but he's a few years older (and at our age, early 20s, lots of girls still seem to like the boys in their mid-to-late 20s for not much else but their age). However, I think she might still have feelings for him. They ended when he left her for a younger, prettier girl called Amanda (how he managed that I'll never know, he doesn't even have a big cock as consolation for looking a bit like shrek, yes I've seen pics of it). At the time, she called him a few names on a networking site they're both on, for "falling out of love" with her - this was after I'd been seeing her for a couple weeks. After that, she didn't speak to Dave much but to ask him to return some of her possessions etc. However, she kept loads of pics of him in a big folder full of photos on her PC. Recently, she's started messaging him "nice" stuff on that networking site, calling him pet names and signing off with xx's etc. This stirred up Dave's new gf Amanda, who saw my gf still had photos of Dave and her together somewhere in a couple of her albums on this networking site, and Amanda asked her to remove them. She removed all but one of the two of them together, and posted a pretty immature message back to Amanda, just belittling her really.

In addition, as I said, she had loads of photos of her and Dave together on her PC in a big folder full of random photos. She's gone through the bother of sorting these out into their own little place on her PC. Then, last week, her mother reminds her that if her and Dave had still been together, it would be their anniversary. She tells me about how angry she is with her mother for it. I told her it bothered me and that if she really didn't care for him anymore, she wouldn't care about what her mother had said, however misplaced it may have been. She insisted that her anger was down to how inappropriate it was for her mother to say this (in fairness, she hasn't been getting along with mother recently, so she may have been predisposed to being angry with her) and that she thought Dave was a cock and didn't want to be reminded of him, and the fact he still had possessions of hers, and wasn't sending them back to her like he said he would. She's also told people on this networking site about when she's home next, she'll be going to see her local, small time soccer team play - this team ain't good and only gets 50 odd fans each match (and they're not her favourite team or anything by a mile)... but Dave plays for them.

On one hand, she tells people we both know about how into me she is, how great I am etc, talks really highly of me, and is pretty clingy when we're together. She tells me that she wants to marry me because it'll make her feel more secure about us and make her more sure I won't find someone "better" like she always insists I can. Then on the other hand, on this networking site (that I'm guessing she doesn't think I read, though she has mentioned it to me quite a few times) everything seems to suggest she might still be into her ex.

So yeah, essay complete. Thoughts? Am I being stupidly jealous, is this natural for her to be like this? Anyone been in a similar circumstance and can explain what her feelings may be? I know better than to bring it up to her as it'll only make a problem where there isn't one, or make a bad problem worse if there is one. Thing is, do I need to be preparing to find someone new?

Thanks for any advice etc, even if it's the usual &T stuff.

Not ignoring you here. I'll respond with my oh so deep and profound wisdom on your situation later, as it is I'm on time to be 10 minutes late for work.

Being dumped for someone younger and prettier made her feel insecure and so when she started seeing you she was on the rebound. The reason she's so clingy with you is because she's terrified of the same thing happening again. She probably does still have feelings for her old boyfriend because it's really not easy to turn feelings on and off but it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

The best way to resolve both these problems is to find a way to show her not only that you love her more than anything and could never leave her. Instantly allaying her fears and proving once and for all that you are better than her ex. But DON'T MARRY HER, at least not until these problems are sorted out.

Of course I'm not going to marry her, not any time soon anyway and certainly not while there's any doubts whatsoever ;) Thanks for the post, I have suggested that I thought/think she's on the rebound a couple of times and she insists that isn't true at all. But then again, she's obviously going to say that...

To be honest, I'd say you'd be better off without her buddy. She sounds like she ain't got all her dogs barking if ya know what I mean.

Pour example...

1) She's saying she loves you and talking about marriage after you guys have been together only a few weeks?!?!...Clingy.

2) She still seems to have a thing for her ex who treated her like shit. Nuff said.

3) She's got photos of him stored away on her computer and only took them off her networking site thingy because his new girlfriend (the one he left her for) asked her to take them down. Then she makes stupid comments to the new girlfriend.

She'll drag you down into her wild world of crazy shit, mark my words.

Dude, I'm cerial...Walk away!

The marriage shit came about 2 months into it, and in fairness, she knows I get rock hard at the mention of marriage and kids - so it got introduced by me, although I dislike the fact she does keep mentioning it outside of sex.

I don't doubt she loves me. She's told all her best mates about how I'm her "perfect man" and all this shit (privately, in ways I wouldn't normally know about). As for her still having a thing for her ex, I'm still not sure it's love. I think she may be trying to prove herself to him or some shit, given that he left her for someone else... I'm giving her a few good n sexy photos of me so when she next has the net she can put them on this networking site and prove herself that way (as next to this guy I look like Brad Pitt). As for her having his photos on that networking site, it was only a few photos hidden in a random album and seeing as she doesn't go on this site hardly at all anymore (until now this, ahem, "beef" has started), and that she doesn't have proper net atm, I think that was ok.

Anyway, small update, Amanda (Dave's new gf) messaged my gf back, telling her to come down a peg for all the belittling stuff (fair enough really) etc etc, and implied that my gf was jealous. My gf posted back laughing at the suggestion of her still liking Dave, and that her post was more a personal dislike over things that have happened between her and Amanda in the past. Few more threats were thrown in... :(