So I met this lady about 6 months back on one of those dating websites. We got on very very well, talking on messenger, through mics and webcams, calling each other on the phone; the whole nine yards. Lady lives in Britain, I live in Guatemala. We're very serious about staying together, as we are true soulmates. She has already booked her flight to come and visit soon.
BIG PROBLEM: She is a divorced 46 year old black woman. I am a single 19 year old caucasian male. We have agreed not to go further unless I count with the blessing of my parents. But I only have about 90 days left to tell them about this relationship. And I doubt that they'd approve. I'm also economically dependant on them.
I want to tell them, she is the love of my life. I am beyond doubt that this is not a passing infatuation. But I have little time and the pressure is literally killing me.
She says she'll understand if I can't gather up the balls to tell them, but admits it would break her heart.
So what do I do, ladies and gentlemen?
I need your best advice. So I put my fullesst trust in your ample experience and goodwill to help me out of my predicament.
Thanks,
LavaRed

um...this is one of those things where that blessing from your parents just might not be in the cards...

You have.....got to be kidding me.

19 to 46 so that would be......25 years difference? You do realize that this doesn't even cover your entire life span, yes?

However:

If you insist on the only problem in your life, as well as hers, being your inability to inform your parents that you have a middle aged black brit coming to visit..

Guatemala?

I'm not sure this is true, but the improbability involved with 6 billion plus fuckers in the world, and counting, and the internet making crocks of shit like this possible, I don't know.

In any event, the best thing you can do is approach your parents and tell them that you have fallen in love with *insert whatever the fuck it is you have become so overwhelmed with lovey-dovey feelings over this woman as possible*. Outside of that: you're fucked. She's been on about life, living it up, experiencing it, becoming hardened to it; disenchanted. Whilst you, on the other hand, are on the completely opposite side of the spectrum. Young, idealistic, goal-oriented.

Your classified ads would use compltely different adjectives.

Now I'm not trying to piss in your favorite sandwich, I'm just suggesting that you take a good look (AND I MEAN A GOOD LOOK) at your life, your prospective future(s), and examine them in comparison with this crushed-by-love bugger of a bitch who is willing to discard her life (nigh 50 years in the making) for a few days with your pimply ass.

Not to say that you aren't great; you could be. What I'm saying is that you have a future...she's clutching at straws. You should be interested in being the best....whatever-the-fuck-it-is-you-think-you-are you can be, while she should be hoping she holds onto her job for another bit to grab her pention benefits.

Which isn't to say that she isn't great; she may be.

My point is that you should both have wildly different goals, and you should THINK about this before even bringing it up with your parents. Because not all parents are understanding. Many a progenitor has disowned a potentially homosexual son for him to contract gonorrhoeae rather than become anything he could have been simply based on principle based on nothing other than ignorance.

Just think....people are idiots.

And you may be one of them

I know this is not conventional. But I'm also sure she's not in it only for the sex. After all it was she who requested that we make sure everything is serious, including my parents knowing, so this is not just an act of passion.
I can't think of dumping her, or taking moving into her friend zone. After all it was me that mailed her first (yes... I do like older women. I get along with them better on an intellectual plane).
But really, is there anyway to broach the subject with my parents without them disowning me on the spot?
Thanks,
LavaRed

Could you tell us something about your parents? Are they open-minded / do you think there is any chance they would understand and not interfere?

If not, it might be best to first do, then tell. And by do I mean you should move out.

But in truth, how you got sexually attracted to a 46 year old divorced black woman, I have no idea.

Try doing it in stages. Explain to your parents that you met somebody online and that you'd like them to come and visit for a while, that you've known them for a long time and that it feels serious but you felt you should tell them first (don't tell her she's booked her ticket). Let them ask the questions; answer as honestly as you can and hope for the best. If information is revealed in stages there's less chance for them to get angry about it.

Most parents just plain wouldn't understand.

And don't set anything in concrete until after you've met her. See how you get along in person first.

Simple answer to this scenario....STOP DATING! And by that I mean ALL dating. I don't care if she is from Mars or across the street, 25 years older or born the same day as you. If you don't have the courage to discuss these kinds of issues with them, then you have no business getting invovled in ANY relationship because clearly you don't have the MATURITY to do so.

Christ, you are NINETEEN.......you should have developed your own independence in regard to your dreams, desires, morals a long time ago. Just man up, tell your girlfriend that you are still a little kid mentally and need your parent's blessing and this won't work. And if you REALLY loved her the way you describe, this "problem" of yours wouldn't have been a problem in your mind for even 5 minutes. Good luck on growing up, maybe by the time your in your mid 20's you might be ready to live your OWN life.

Try doing it in stages.

Yeah man don't rush this, although if you wait too long by the time you actually do she'll be in a retirement home, but anyway. Tell your parents the situation, but dont tell them her age, just be kinda general about the situation, saying she's an older women who doesn't live near you etc. Try not to go for shock value here or you're screwed

Why do you need to tell them? I can understand wanting to respect your parents but do you need to tell them everything?
I'm sure if we all told our paretns every detail of our lives and experiences they'd cry, break things, or commit infanticide..



I'm cautious to give advice when due to society and the news I'm rather judgemental of your situation.
It's a common story that an older, financially healthy lonely lady will fall in love with a much younger man, who will pretend to love her forever and take all her money and then one day dissapear.

I'm hoping and thinking that that isnt your plan.
BUT, these stories are sooo common, and I'm sure the ladys friends are warning her about you, and she's just as worried about telling her relatives about you as you are about her to yours.

All you can do is meet, see how much you like each other and take it from there.
You may love your parents, but if they start to stand in the way of what you think might be real love you're going to have to make a decision, and totse cant make that for you!

Good luck

Dude you sound delusional to me. If you really need to hit that 45 yr. old poon why don't you just find some lonely housewife the next town over? How could you possibly have anything resembling a normal relationship with an old ass English lady who lives over 3000 miles away? If you tell your parents this they are going to have you committed. And damn why don't you get yourself some nice teeny bopper poonani before its too late, you can get with old ladies for the rest of your life.

forty....fucking.....six?



As i always say.....
To each.......his own?

Hey man if it's what you both want...umm.....go for it?
Good luck.

Does she LOOK 46 years old? I mean, if you were to see her on the street or in a bar, would you naturally think "Damn! That bitch is 46 years old!"

What I'm getting at here is, does she look her age or could she pass for like 35? If she could, why not just lie to your parents and say she's 35 or younger? 35 is still a bit of a jump I suppose, but maybe they'd take a 16 year gap better than a 27 year gap?

Or you could always use your parents to fund a 'eurotrip', go and visit her, realise the error of your ways, and then spend the rest of your time/money smashing some teen european muff?

Harsh dude, my parents would never let me date a black person.

Start off by just telling them that she exists and you're very interested in her. Explain how you met, how you've gotten to know each other and how much you care for one another. When your parents start asking questions, answer them truthfully but carefully. You're not gonna be able to hide her skin color when she arrives, and it would probably be best for them to know that she's black before that time comes.

You're in a bit of a bind here, because you're still dependant upon your parents and your <3 is traditional enough to want their blessing. Knowing how rampant racism is overseas, I'd guess that you will never receive what she wants from your parents. Older people aren't so understanding, y'know?

In time, if y'all love each other as much as you say you do, you'll get together anyway. I wish you luck, and I'm sorry to hear about your parents; they grew up in a different world.

*sniff sniff* is dat sum troll?

I think I speak for everyone when I say.

Lets see some fucking pictures.

I am curious to see what has got you so blindly in love.

I really am.

In all sincerity , If you want to the full plethora of all viable advice.

Post a Picture.

Completely agree, pic or she doesn't exist

have you ever dipped your wick before? you were on a dating website, so im guessing your fairly ugly, never had sex(apart from with yourself) dont have balls to pork a chick your own age(or cant find a willing partner) and feel less embarassed and more in control with a old seahagg, am i close?

Right. So here's here pics. I'm also enclosing one of me, so you all can make your judgement. If you'll take my word for it I have been with girls my age. None of these relationships has been as fulfilling, spiritually.
Oh and I'm not planning to take her money. Actually I think we may be on an equivalent economic footing (if my parents' money counts). So this is not my motivation. I admit, she is far more experienced sexually for my tastes than girls my age. This is natuarally a plus.

Anyways... Pics:
http://s137.photobucket.com/albums/q220/LavaRed/?action=view&current=m3.jpg

http://s137.photobucket.com/albums/q220/LavaRed/?action=view&current=protector.jpg

http://s137.photobucket.com/albums/q220/LavaRed/?action=view&current=MichelleEmerau.jpg

http://s137.photobucket.com/albums/q220/LavaRed/?action=view&current=earlytestshots.gif

she is straight up pedo dude, you look like 15 at the most so unless she like molesting little kids i cant see why she is doing this, plus i doubt she is 45..........

Yeah she doesn't look quite 45 to me..although for the pedo comment, come on man, who can't understand an older lady wanting a younger guy? Its as natural as an older guy wanting a younger lady! Nobody wants to pork a saggy old bag o' bones.

However I still stand by my earlier comments of "What the fuck" and what not.

EDIT: Nobody wants to pork a saggy old bag o' bones, except this guy. I mean, I can see the appeal of an older lady (the blasphemy of fucking somebody's mom, their sexual experience, etc.) but I can't see why you would go so far out of your way to bone this particular older lady. Sure she's not bad looking but its not like she's the holy grail of pussy.

So I met this lady about 6 months back on one of those dating websites.

I stopped reading right here to keep my faith in humanity...

yes older woman love the younger lead pencil of a MAN but, not a 15 yr old looking little boy......

I stopped reading right here to keep my faith in humanity...

actually i think you stopped reading the same time you left school, grade 5 last year.....

actually i think you stopped reading the same time you left school, grade 5 last year.....

nah I stopped reading the love poem you wrote on your moms big ass because I didn't have all day. So I put the nuts to her and her sweat made it rub off...

Ok so thanks for the 15 yr. old remarks but I'm really not 15. I'm 19. Maybe I should post the pic with the mustache...
http://s137.photobucket.com/albums/q220/LavaRed/TV/?action=view&current=DSC00580.jpg

hope that helps.
Also... an update. Told my mother about her. She's shocked but she's kept her cool. Sort of hopes it'll pass in time I think. It wont if I can help it.
Only need to tell my dad now...
Thnx,
LavaRed

I saw your picture at the post office and could get 10k for turnin you in for sex crimes. The mustache is a givaway hitler!

Tell them now, and the sooner, the better. You seem serious enough about this relationship, and now's the time to give your parents an opportunity to meet and get to know your girlfriend.

I can't say as I know much about the Guatemalan culture, but from the little I do know, it's normal for someone of your age to be living at home, yes? People of Guatemala tend to live in extended families? From what I understand, there's not much in common between Guatemalan and British culture.

The reason I bring that up is because I don't know how much thought you've put into your future with this woman. If you're going to approach your parents with this, they need to know that you're serious about your plans for the future. Is she going to move in with you and your parents, and is she fine with that? Are you entirely dependent on your parents, or do you have an income that will let you support a wife who will probably be without a job when she arrives to stay?

That's stuff you need to think about, if you're as serious about her as you say you are. The more prepared you are, the more practically you approach this, the more likely your parents are (I don't know them, so this is speculatio) to give their blessing for it. Basically, you need to approach this as a rationale adult decision, rather than as a starry-eyed loverboy, you know?

I don't know how open minded your parents are; tread carefully.
Those issues aside, I've thought of one you may or may not have discussed with her: children.
Does she have children? Does she want children? Do you want children?
If she's got it all over and done with, you might not have kids with her, then it'd be too late for her. Maybe she's already reached the menopause, maybe not..

I would just say, an old black woman who I have fallen in love with is coming to stay for a while. Then you walk off and play casual. Its breaking them the fuck in, after they get used to that idea you can get away with ANYTHING

This thread is creepy , even for my taste.

If you do decide to fuck her.

I hope to god she doesnt get pregnant , and has an mentally challenged lump due to her age and your lack of comprehension.

In all seriousness though ,

How can you commit to a women If you never even seen her pussy?

Can you imagine all the guys in the past 47 years who have pounded the living shit out of that?

How dont you know you wont be instantly revolted when you see a saggy purple clit of a middle aged black women.

Even if you've seen it in pictures or whatever , that doesnt count for much when its staring directly at your face . How would you know if the odor of her vagina is not revolting?

For heavens sake , you dont even know if she has some kind of STD and have some twisted fantasy of giving it to some dumb guatamelan kid for the lulz.

I work for a money transfering company that sends money to guatemala via Banrural and Banco Industrial. So I know a thing or two after assisting 100's if not 1000's of people from your country in my 4-5 years working here.

In all seriousness , they are fucking retarded. Most of them mispell their own mothers name. So im taking in account all those years of guatemalan interbreeding that resulted with your birth.


Think about what your doing.

Whether you stay with her.

Or Leave her.

Its lulz all around.

win/win situation for totse all around.

Can you imagine all the guys in the past 47 years who have pounded the living shit out of that?

Dude.. She's only 46!

Dude.. She's only 46!

OH SHIT MAN.

My bad.

I was proably making her sound old...

Ok maybe she hasnt been fucking for that long but I think its safe to say she's been fucking for atleast 10 more years then the OP has even been alive.

That , is some sick shit.

On a side note , Why are you wearing a Nazi uniform if your guatemalan...

Please tell you are also a neo-nazi , and your 46 year old black british lover you met on the interwebz is totally cool with it.

man this thread delivers the lulz.

OH SHIT MAN.

My bad.

I was proably making her sound old...

Ok maybe she hasnt been fucking for that long but I think its safe to say she's been fucking for atleast 10 more years then the OP has even been alive.

That , is some sick shit.

On a side note , Why are you wearing a Nazi uniform if your guatemalan...

Please tell you are also a neo-nazi , and your 46 year old black british lover you met on the interwebz is totally cool with it.

man this thread delivers the lulz.

When I saw him say that he was gonna post a pic of himself with a moustache to prove his age, I started chuckling. When I actually saw the pic, I started actually laughing out loud.

Seriously, the pics of her that she sent him could have been taken ages ago.

When I saw him say that he was gonna post a pic of himself with a moustache to prove his age, I started chuckling. When I actually saw the pic, I started actually laughing out loud.

Seriously, the pics of her that she sent him could have been taken ages ago.

He looks like pedro from napeleon dynamite.

Pedro has more luck with the ladies though.

Well, to the gentleman who thinks I'm an retarded, inbred Guatemalan, I'm actually a second generation Italian Jew, born from immigrants. So I quite agree with you on the mental status of the people here.
So why the Nazi uniform? The pic was taken at Halloween last year. As you've probably noticed, I'm also a collector of guns and militaria.
You're right about the fact that there's a zillion things I might find revolting. But I figured there's no way of knowing without meeting in person. We've agreed with her that we still have to meet and see how things work out. Still, given the unusual nature of the relationship I decided it might be best to let my parents know, just in case she is some kind of kidnapper or pervert.
So we're not fully committed yet.
About the pictures... we've been using webcams for the past 2 weeks. Her pictures are recent.
Now on STD's... now that's something I can't actually prove or protect against. Any suggestions?
Oh, and I do understand that some might find me laughable but, after all... can't expect everybody to be normal can we?
Thanks,
LavaRed

Well you can protect against an STD , take her to go get tested and view the results. Thats if you like her enough to actually have sex with her. I think its best if you are actually atempting this , is not to take to seriously. By the time you are even remotely close to her age , she's going to be a wrinkly looking old black lady. Considering you said you arent retarded , I think that would the ideal thing for you. Unless your into some kind of granny fetish, which wouldnt suprise me since this is totse.

Your a second generation Jew and you dressed up as a Nazi for a custome party?

lulz.

I would rep you if that still existed.

Next time try to search somebody who is atleast 30 or something. 30 is a good maturity level compared to a 19 year old. They're plenty of women who are 30 who are good looking and dont appear that age.

Also , why not get a guatamalan girlfriend? Ive see retarded inbred guatamalan men with decent women. You clearly know english and im assuming you know spanish as well. Your not physically deformed and seem to be way more educated then the average person in your country.

Seriously I think that would be your best bet other then wasting money on dating sites,Use it on gulliable women.

HELL ! if you like older women Im sure they're are thousands of middle aged women in your country that would more then happy fuck you. Your just not trying hard enough.

I seriously think this is going to blow up in your face. But to each own as someone already said.

P.S When you meet her dress up as a Ku Klux Klan member , she'll dig that.

Your a second generation Jew and you dressed up as a Nazi for a custome party?

lulz.


I would rep you if that still existed.

Yeah. It was sort of ironical, seeing as I don't look anything like a Nazi to begin with.;) Pardon my ignorance but, what is rep?

P.S When you meet her dress up as a Ku Klux Klan member , she'll dig that.

Couldn't help cracking up over this one. Though in all seriousness I think the hood might detract from my appearance. :p

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

Oh by the way... I have a close family member who's on the Board of Banco Industrial. My dad and I also do most of our business through them. :D

Well you can protect against an STD , take her to go get tested and view the results. Thats if you like her enough to actually have sex with her. I think its best if you are actually atempting this , is not to take to seriously. By the time you are even remotely close to her age , she's going to be a wrinkly looking old black lady. Considering you said you arent retarded , I think that would the ideal thing for you. Unless your into some kind of granny fetish, which wouldnt suprise me since this is totse.

Your a second generation Jew and you dressed up as a Nazi for a custome party?

lulz.

I would rep you if that still existed.

Next time try to search somebody who is atleast 30 or something. 30 is a good maturity level compared to a 19 year old. They're plenty of women who are 30 who are good looking and dont appear that age.

Also , why not get a guatamalan girlfriend? Ive see retarded inbred guatamalan men with decent women. You clearly know english and im assuming you know spanish as well. Your not physically deformed and seem to be way more educated then the average person in your country.

Seriously I think that would be your best bet other then wasting money on dating sites,Use it on gulliable women.

HELL ! if you like older women Im sure they're are thousands of middle aged women in your country that would more then happy fuck you. Your just not trying hard enough.

I seriously think this is going to blow up in your face. But to each own as someone already said.

P.S When you meet her dress up as a Ku Klux Klan member , she'll dig that.

I lolled :D

If rep still existed, +1 would ensue.

To the OP: hope everything will turn out fine.

Rep is Reputation that appeared as green or red rectangals above your post's.

They took it off because it caused problems.

I hate Banco Industrial , Banrural , and any of the word spanish speaking banks and offices associated with money transfering. The people in charge , the tellers , and their customers are all inbred morons. Then Im the one here in the states who has to try to explain to these morons the most simplistic thing.

People have come here and actually blamed me for the person they sent their money too , not being in the country at the time.

Like its not their responsiblity to know whether or not the person theyre sending money too is inside the country or not. Or better yet when they dont know how to spell theyre families last name correctly and expect me to know how to spell a spanish last name that has more letters then the alphabelt itself. The people in your country are dumber then mexicans. That is also saying alot because theyre my customers as well , and theyre almost equally as retarded.

Also they have a really nasty attitude similar to colombians that come here as well. My own families ethicnicity which is Domican is not so much as stupid , just really chap.

Ive been working here ever since i was 13 and Im 17 and honestly this job has made me decide I am never going to do anything related to customer service. Especially with latino people.

This thread delivers.

Dont let people here shit on your dreams. Some of us may find them laughable, but fuck it. We're not the ones in love with the lady you've met.


Good luck. I hope your parents understand. If you tell them, that is.

Yeah, butt fuck her!

Man, you shouldn't have showed that picture of your satch...It made me LOL hard.


As someone mentioned, the pictures of her...are really fucking old, at least about 10-20 years ago.

why don't you get her buy you a plane ticket so you can see her.
just tell your parents that your going away for a week or two.

Dude, do NOT marry this bitch. She is fucking 46, you are NINEGODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGTEEN. Don't even hit that shit. Live your life and grow old with someone that's your own fucking age.

Is this her?

http://galleries.clickmemedia.com/galleries//bm/amber/thumbs/amber_009.jpg

Yeah, live your life and grow old with 19 year-old chicks around you.

Lol @ diorama
Lol @ luger w/stock

In general I'd agree, but these are defiantly dreams that deserve a good shit on them. He looks fucking 12 and a 46 year old black British lady is diggin' him. Now Totse defiantly aren't the only folk who will be shitting on his dreams, his parents, friends and basically anyone who hears the story will be. It's creepy, and it's worrisome that he doesn't see it as such, at least enough to have second thoughts about doing it, not just asking his parents about it.

And just out of curiosity, is she older than your parents?

^^^

Defiantly =/= Definitely