Sorry to sound like a whiny emo.

I'll first say a few things about me.
I have a wonderful girlfriend who I care about and I know she adores me. I have few reallygood friends who I love to be around. I'm in a caring family.
It's just, I dunno.
I recently came out of depression about 8 months ago which made me contemplate suicide. Since then I've cleaned myself up and as I said gotten a girlfriend etc.
The thing is I feel so empty inside. Like I'm always hiding something from the world; like I'm living a lie. I'm stuck to the same everyday thing, going to school, studying. friends, girlfriend, partys.
I fake self-confidence in order to get girls. I do this with friends too.
It's gotten to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore because I was a very unpleasent person but I forced myself to change. I've tried talking to my parents and they just smile and say "Don't be silly." I sometimes feel like I'm the other person with a brain and everyone is a slave to socity if you get me.
I feel like leaving everything behind whether that means living under a rock or ending completly. I feel so insignificent and so small. I don't see the point of living...
We're here for 70 years or so and then gone. I used to be somewhat religious and that would change everything, but I saw how religion's a joke and non-sence.

I don't really know. I just needed to vent.
Does anyone relate to me or have any comments to make?

~Thanks

A while ago I realized that in the grand scheme of things, I don't matter. People die every day, and the world is no different because they have lived. For the longest time I didn't understand what the point of living was; you just spend your days dealing with the utter impossiblity and hopelessness of the world. Yeah, I know that's pretty emo, but I think most people with any kind of emotional complexity go through a stage that is very much like what you are feeling.

The thing that made that change for me is the realization that we are each utterly in control of our own lives. There are so many awful things in the world that cannot be changed. You can't control the world, the only thing you can control is your
self. Don't live your life based on any external standards or ideals, as cliche as that sounds, and don't hold yourself up to any standards but your own. Fashion a world for yourself, create the life you want, and become the person you want to be.

That probably sounds like whole lot of nonsense, it's such a vague concept to explain. Perhaps you should look into existentialism. If you don't kow what it is, it's basically a philosophical movement which claims that individual human beings create the meanings of their own lives. I hope I could be of some help. Good luck man.

I felt the same feeling before. Then I dicovered the philosophy of Epicureaus. An Epicurean believes that man lives for its enjoyment. Get some marijuana, smoke it, and don't worry about the meaning of your life. Just live your life and enjoy it.

I don't know if I have any advice to offer, but do know that there are others out there who feel like you do. I feel like there could be SO much more, but I'm restricted by the most insignificant things. Everyone thinks that I'm as free as a bird, but I feel so empty and I want more out of life. Man it's not a good way to feel, you know that much, and I don't know how to get myself out of it either. Honestly, I think maybe everyone has these feelings, and conceals them as well as I do. I am really not sure.

Get a movie, it's called "Waking Life". Watch it.

You will probably enjoy it.

Exactly. I feel like all people care about is getting drunk and going to partys and are just so unintelligent to think about these things nor understand them. I envy that at times.


Thanks for the replys guys.
I guess all I can do think about today.
Tommorow's a new day..

Im gonna make this thread even more emo by postin some dead birds

http://impressive.net/people/gerald/2007/03/08/09-39-31-sm.jpg

Those dead birds look really dead.

Those dead birds look really dead.

Yeah you gotta strangle em to kill them properly.


waking lifes a good movie too, I watched it on acid and the astrologist and fisherman guys tripped me right out

Yeah you gotta strangle em to kill them properly.


waking lifes a good movie too, I watched it on acid and the astrologist and fisherman guys tripped me right out

I think it was a bit overtly philosophical, and I couldn't verify half of things they said, but it inspired me further to break from the routine and make my life whatever I want it to be.

The part where a guy talks about how, according to what we know of physics, free will can't possibly exist was interesting.

I think it was a bit overtly philosophical, and I couldn't verify half of things they said, but it inspired me further to break from the routine and make my life whatever I want it to be.

The part where a guy talks about how, according to what we know of physics, free will can't possibly exist was interesting.

Linkletters a fuckin genious. The part where the girl's talkin about the TV show and the guys like "that's a good idea I could never come up with somethin like that...but wait this is my dream...." blew my mind with how astute it was. I still haven't seen "a scanner darkly" for some reason...

Sorry to sound like a whiny emo.

I've seen your myspace. That ain't foolin' no one, dude. :)

I'll first say a few things about me.
I have a wonderful girlfriend who I care about and I know she adores me. I have few reallygood friends who I love to be around. I'm in a caring family.
It's just, I dunno.
I recently came out of depression about 8 months ago which made me contemplate suicide. Since then I've cleaned myself up and as I said gotten a girlfriend etc.

So you're "satisfied" at the social level of life, or what I think of as the "top" level of life. However, the way I see it is if you're doing well at the social level, but you're not happy, there's a root problem that needs to be addressed, but you can't change the fruits of labour.

The thing is I feel so empty inside. Like I'm always hiding something from the world; like I'm living a lie. I'm stuck to the same everyday thing, going to school, studying. friends, girlfriend, partys.
I fake self-confidence in order to get girls. I do this with friends too.
It's gotten to the point where I don't even know who I am anymore because I was a very unpleasent person but I forced myself to change. I've tried talking to my parents and they just smile and say "Don't be silly." I sometimes feel like I'm the other person with a brain and everyone is a slave to socity if you get me.

And here it is. You're not happy with your life. There's something about it you just don't agree with, like a splinter in your mind, if you'll excuse the Matrix paraphrasing.

I feel like leaving everything behind whether that means living under a rock or ending completly. I feel so insignificent and so small. I don't see the point of living...

People often make this mistake. They assume the cause of their troubles is society, when really this dislike is effect, not cause. As I said before, you've got to tackle the root cause. This isn't it. Dig deeper.

We're here for 70 years or so and then gone. I used to be somewhat religious and that would change everything, but I saw how religion's a joke and non-sence.

I don't really know. I just needed to vent.
Does anyone relate to me or have any comments to make?

~Thanks

You do know. You won't get out of this funk unless you identify the root cause of your depression and change it. I'd help you, but I don't know you as well as you know yourself. This is self-actualization, you've got to do this for yourself. You've got to want to. You do want to sort this out, of course? So do it.

I'd write more, and be more in depth, but I'm running late as it is. I've got faith in you here, you can do this.

I've seen your myspace. That ain't foolin' no one, dude. :)



So you're "satisfied" at the social level of life, or what I think of as the "top" level of life. However, the way I see it is if you're doing well at the social level, but you're not happy, there's a root problem that needs to be addressed, but you can't change the fruits of labour.


I have friends and things but I feel like no one knows who I really am and the truth is I don't know myself.





And here it is. You're not happy with your life. There's something about it you just don't agree with, like a splinter in your mind, if you'll excuse the Matrix paraphrasing.

Exactly


People often make this mistake. They assume the cause of their troubles is society, when really this dislike is effect, not cause. As I said before, you've got to tackle the root cause. This isn't it. Dig deeper.

I really don't know. I just feel what's the point?


You do know. You won't get out of this funk unless you identify the root cause of your depression and change it. I'd help you, but I don't know you as well as you know yourself. This is self-actualization, you've got to do this for yourself. You've got to want to. You do want to sort this out, of course? So do it.

I don't know how. =[

I'd write more, and be more in depth, but I'm running late as it is. I've got faith in you here, you can do this.

Thanks a lot, you've really got me think more into it though..

My plans fell through, so I've come to finish off what I started.

Well, what you need to do is this. Look at everything in your life that's making you unhappy, make a list, and see what the reoccurring themes are. Look at your life from someone else's perspective. Look at someone else's life, and see what makes them happy. Try and see these things from other points of view. Even if it doesn't tackle the problem (which I bet to you it will), it'll satisfy you a lot more, and make you a lot happier.

I used to be the same way. A lot of people say the way to deal with depression is to just get up and go for it. It's not. For me, at least. So I thought about it. What was going to change things? What makes other people happy? Open your mind, if you'll excuse the Matrix paraphrasing once more. It's worth it for the experience, at least.

You'll come out of this changed, I know it. If you don't know something, you search for the answer. If you don't know yourself, you search for yourself. Look outside, across the horizon. You'll grow into your own skin. Become the man you're supposed to be. Know who you are. That's the point.

It's up to you which path you take. You can take the pass of least resistance, and begrudgingly accept yourself, and never be truly happy, or you can look forward, and look around, and truly discover what it means to be happy. Learn from example. Take the best things you see and integrate them to yourself. Spread your wings, fly.

Reading that has really made me feel better.
Thanks a lot man.
I owe you one.

Oh come now... simply because people like getting fucked up doesn't make them stupid. It's just so much easier than dealing with life. And who are you to look down at someone happier than you?

That said, I've been in your shoes. Lot's of times. Life's a game, man. You gotta do what you gotta do to make it your favorite game.

Just find something you enjoy and work at it. Start lifting and running, drawing, trying to fuck some girl, etc.. Don't worry about the grand scheme of things and shit. Just work on making yourself a better person, and you'll enjoy your life and worry less.

Oh come now... simply because people like getting fucked up doesn't make them stupid. It's just so much easier than dealing with life. And who are you to look down at someone happier than you?


I'm one of those people...