In nearly every relationship I've ever been in it starts wonderfully. I have no problem for some reason attracting girls and I have yet to be turned down.

But it never lasts. Girlfriend of 4 months yesterday decided to call it quits and it's forced me into some serious self-questioning.

I probably should have waited to make this thread until I've though about this a bit more. But anyways, it's a pretty simple pattern. We start well, she falls hard, I try and keep myself from becoming too emotionally invested, at some point though my insecurities take over, I get jealous, I get controlling, I get needy. I basically just get pretty damn unattractive and it's only a matter of time before things turn to shit.

I just don't know what to do, I guess? I don't know how to maintain a healthy level of attachment without sabotaging what could be really good.

Is this just a personality flaw? :/

-F☺rd

Hey look, I don't know how old you are. But it sounds like you're still in high school. If that's the case, don't sweat it, you have plenty of time to learn how relationships work. You'll learn right from wrong and all that jazz. In high school, you can't expect to find your soul mate. Just have fun for now. By fun, I mean going to parties, getting fucked up, having pre-marital sex. Use a rubber.

If you aren't in high school, you need to do some soul searching.

you sound a lot like me, but i invest too much of my love in the beginning of the relationship and end up losing steam later on, meaning i just cant keep that intense love going. eventually i feel bored. but the more time you spend with someone, it sometimes grows, you cant help the way you feel, so there is no real advice to give you.

Just keep throwin the ball man.

Hopefully you've nailed it. I'm 17 and to be a senior next year. It's just tough, the relationship started as fun (by your exact definitions;) ) but then it got to a point where, when she told me she probably would have fallen in love with me if we had lived in the same town (she just recently moved) I was/am just about ready to leave everything and follow her. :(

Would that be the worst decision of my life at this point?

-F☺rd

It's not a flaw. Most of the time, people get attached because we think that it'll breed stability into the relationship.

Mainly, it's insecurity. Next time, just try to let go, and trust that your significant other isn't going to screw around on you, or fall for some other guy.
Hell, even if she does, do you really want to be with someone that fickle?

5 guys since we first started dating actually. 2 were on break, one was when she was intoxicated and another she didn't kiss back. Soo she claims she only cheated on me once.

Haha, why the fuck am I even sad that it's over? She treated me like shit.

-F☺rd

how to tell you have chosen the wrong girl:

10. she says one thing does another
9. she is under the age of 27
8. her mom is a lesbian
7. her dad is in the military
6. you cant go a day with out her begging to hang out
5. it takes her 20 minutes to eat, and only 30 seconds to "digest"
4. her best friend is a jew
3. she isnt your mom
2. she falls in love within 1 month
1. she is in high school/ college

Just like some dude up there I didn't look at the name of said (I'm sure he's a champ), just keep throwing the ball man. Practice makes perfect. It will stop happening to you, as it did to me. It's bloody hard but it irons out.