So I'm sure this thread has been overdone to hell and back in this forum, but considering I hardly ever post here, I was hoping you guys could do it one more time...

I just got out a relationship. It was the first time I think I've ever loved a girl. We're both going to colleges on opposite sides of the coast, and she didn't want to stay together. It hurts, but I want her to be happy, so I agreed that we should end it. We're still going to be friends - and I think it'll actually work.

Does anyone have any tips for getting over her? I know this is done a lot, but like I said, this is the first girl that I've truly ever loved.

There's no magic cure.
Distracting yourself till you forget about her and time eats your memory of her is a good plan.

Way ahead of you. The weight room and shooting range have been my home away from home as of late.

Dedicate one night to get as much of her out of your system as possible. I wouldn't normally suggest drugs to fix problems but I've always found that getting completely shit faced and depressed as possible for one night and one night only works wonders. :/

-F☺rd

Just give it time.

Go see other girls. Go on dates, have sex, and get over her.

There isn't just one thing you can do aside from not dwell on her.

Way ahead of you. The weight room and shooting range have been my home away from home as of late.

Shooting guns is the #1 stress reliever.
Why do you think people shoot up their work places so much?;)

distance yourself from her for a while, even if you still wantto be friends....out of sight, out of mind. Don't call her, don't message her, etc. If you have myspace or facebook, don't look at her shit....I fail at that last one. but whatever....

one good solid weekend of drinking helped me...and i mean serious drinking. admittedly i let it get out of control for quite a while...

and try to meet someone else ASAP. when you're with someone else you'll be less likely to be thinking about her.

ya...
though working and having classes together doesnt really help much.

the quickest way to get over one girl is to get on top of another

Heh I got out of a relationship a couple of days ago. Since then I've sat in my room. I don't even have school or work, I've just been sitting here and it's fucking horrible. But damnit it's monday, I can't drink... Tomorrow I've gotta go look for a job. Damnit I don't wanna get a new job while I've got this going on...

I find it hard not to look at pictures and stuff of her :/

damn same situation as me. just getting out of a relationship and really have nothing else to do but sit around. i also gotta go job hunting this week, thats actually what i should be doing instead of typing this. but fuck man i dont feel like it. but im going to have to, and so will you. and really, doing so will probably help a lot. itll distract our minds, and once we actually get a job we'll have something to do and we'll have a new place to meet new girls. im sure youve already said that to yourself too. its just getting the motivation to get off our asses and do it thats the hard part, huh? good luck bro.

to the OP: trying to be her friend right now is NOT a good idea. you gotta give yourself time to get over her before you can even think about being her friend. trying to be friends right away is like a heroin addict that has to quit, doing some vicodin. it may feel like its better than nothing, but you know its not what you actually want, but still it puts off withdrawals for another day, and youre just going to be left thinking about how bad its going to be.

you gotta make a full on break and distance yourself. and you gotta keep yourself occupied, even if you dont feel like doing much you have to force yourself to get up and do it. go grab some friends and go out drinking. no doubt they will be willing to help you out, especially if all they gotta do is drink. you dont HAVE to drink, but thats just an easy and popular suggestion. anything that will take your mind off of it, and isnt worse than doing nothing is fine. and a really good thing to do to help get through it faster is to right away fuck as many girls as you possibly can. it may sound bad to you, at least right now anyway, but it really does help. it keeps you occupied, relieves your stress, keeps your dick happy when its probably hurtin right now, and keeps your self esteem intact.

It's kinda nice knowing someone else is on the same sinking boat...

How long were you guys together plehem?

Man I'd love to go out and drink but everyone's got jobs and have to get up in the morning etc... Also I'm broke, can't afford booze... I'm pretty sure I'll have money by the weekend though. Hopefully I can go out and get shitfaced Friday and Saturday... I just really hope I won't start crying when drunk. I've never been drunk while broken hearted before :/

8 months. i broke up with her, but i really had no choice. if i stayed with her id might as well just cut off my balls and hang them on her bedroom wall.

Hmm okay I don't know what that means...

But yeah I broke up myself too. Still I occasionally break out with bursts of tears. Crying like a little girl... Fuck this sucks. I knew it'd be bad, but this bad, no way...
we were together like almost a year btw...

In my minimal experience I have found that one thing that always helps me is to think back to before you ever met whoever it is, and fun times you had without them. Think about how you were fine for the 18, 20, 12 (whatever) years without them and that you only spent a minimal period of your life with them anyway. Better to have loved and lost, right? You were fine without them for all that time, and there's no reason you won't be fine without them now.

And if that doesn't work..."99 beers on the wall..."

I broke up with my gf of 7 and a half months, a month ago. I broke up with her 4 months in, then came back because i felt i made a mistake, but as it would turn out she couldnt have feelings for me again the second time. The bitch has done so much shit to make me mad since then that i cant feel that i want to be with her more than wanting to choke her. That got me over any possible heartbreak... as well she was the first girl i had ever loved.

The day after at work i almost burst into tears on the retail floor, but i told myself i wouldnt waste tears on a girl like her, i havent cried in 4 years, the last time was for my grandfathers funeral and shes nowhere near that fucking level. We hung out over the next week and ended up becoming friends with benefits, but i cut her off now since i feel such malice and hatred towards her. Anyways back onto topic, get yourself with another woman PRONTO that helps so much, trust me... you most likely wont want to if youre missing her so much now, but you need to, my friend broke up with his one year gf who he lost his virginity too and hes been so emotionally troubled since then, i would hate to hear that this happened to you, just move on, i can guarantee she is too

Yeah this story is like the template for eveything you'd feel after a breakup, its pretty much the same for everyone, and same for the advice. force yourself to move on no matter how you feel about her. The sooner she's out of your mind the sooner the pain will fade

^^ OK but big deal man. 7 1/2 months, whoop-dee-doo. I mean I'm not trying to sound like a dick but that is nothing. I would say after 6 months you have only just begun to get to know another person. I have my 2 year anniversary coming up with my girlfriend and I feel I know her pretty well now but it's still nothing. In any case a few months is nothing to cry about unless your a sandy vagina.

FCAdam I can feel the first paragraph of you post. I remember one of my first girlfriends who I was with for about 8-9 months, by the time I broke up with her I hated her so much I could not have given a shit less where she ended up.

Lucky bastards... I wish I had a reason to hate my ex. I'm trying to think of the bad things but... They're just not very substantial, she was a pretty good girl :/

^^ OK but big deal man. 7 1/2 months, whoop-dee-doo. I mean I'm not trying to sound like a dick but that is nothing. I would say after 6 months you have only just begun to get to know another person. I have my 2 year anniversary coming up with my girlfriend and I feel I know her pretty well now but it's still nothing. In any case a few months is nothing to cry about unless your a sandy vagina.



fuck you man. you can't control what you feel about a girl....you can catch feelings when you're not trying....and theres no time tables for it.....i'm 26, and ive been in few serious long term relationships.....my last relationship of 7 months was long for me...and i actually caught feelings for hte girl...which i dont normally...didnt catch em for hte girl i dated for a year prior.... dont bash someones feelings and shit over your timetables, which are based on nothing. you can get very attached to someone over 7 months.

Yeah I get how you can fall for a girl fast but what I'm getting at is that you can't really get to know someone in 6 months and how can you really be in love with someone you don't really know? Maybe you can get hooked on pussy in 6 months but I don't see anyone having a strong, genuine emotional relationship with someone you don't really know unless you're one of those dudes that just see stars every time they meet / hookup with a girl.

Rifle cartridge to the back of the throat.

That's what I'm gonna do.

Yeah i can understand what you mean, my cousin has only been DATING a girl for 6 years, i can understand it wasnt anything wonderous, but it was my first relationship that lasted that long which i think isnt too bad considering it was highschool. I think its actually better when you end a relationship with a bit of malice, because you dont hurt as much, naturally you will always be a little sad unless youre void of emotion and apathetic (not uncommon today in our narcissistic society).

Oh and towards jarmungand, regarding your 6 month comment, in my 7 and a half months, i recieved NO sex, so thats nothing to do with it, maybe i ended up compensating for the sex i wasnt getting by actually becoming attached to her... who knows

I think its actually better when you end a relationship with a bit of malice, because you dont hurt as much

you know this makes alot of sense. When I look back at all my breakups, the ones that didn't hurt so bad were the ones where I just ended up hating her, and the ones that hurt the most were the ones where I still had feelings for them and couldn't find anything to hate about them.

Isn't it kinda d'uh that it's easier to handle a breakup with someone you don't like?

Fuck... Right now, it's 3:30 am here, and my ex just got off of msn, and the next few hours I'll be sitting here with nothing to do at all, just thinking and watching the minutes slowly go by... Wishing I was holding her... :(

I could really use someone to talk to...

FCAdam-I hear you, i wasn't trying to belittle your relationship/feelings, just trying to put it in perspective. The avg male lives to be around 60 or 70 years old, I think, so in the greater scheme of things whats a few months, know what i mean?

Blacksails you are starting to sound really pathetic man. If it's 3:30 am go to sleep. Then wake up tomorrow and go get drunk or chill with the boys or something. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself all day (and apparently late into the night as well) is not healthy.

why do you think you know everything? thats your opinion. some people might beable to get closer faster

Getting Over a Girl

Put a ladder over her.

Hmmm know where you are coming from except I'm a girl trying to get over a guy. I got left for another girl which sucks even worse. But the best thing to do right now is to distance yourself definately and try to get them off your mind. Look around for soemone else and just go out and try and have fun. Focus on things you didn't have time for before. I hope this helps :)