Personally I haven't had to defend a loved one. I hit a dude a year older than me in the throat with a kendo stick for insulting my mum. But that's just gay, kendo sticks don't even hurt that much.

But a friend of a friend recently took on three big guys (he's a skinny runt) knowing fully that he was going to get his ass handed to him. He just jumped at them and started swinging. Just to defend his girlfriend's honor. Pretty romantic I think.

But then my girlfriend's friend is 1,000 times better. He just came out of a 7/11 with his girlfriend. He really loves her, and some raver dude walked up to her with a $20 note in his hand and said "Bitch, what will this buy me?". So the boyfriend starts laughing hysterically thinkings it's funny as. Then the raver goes "Whats so fucking funny?" and knocks the boyfriend's pie out of his hand. With in a second the boyfriend beat the shit out of the raver.

See, that's more like what I'd do, fuck the girlfriend, defend the food! But yeah, totse has soooo many people who are FUCKED in the head. What's the most damage, furthest you've gone, or just plain craziest thing you've done to defend a loved one.

well, about the ie incident, he prolly just thought the guy was a retard but when he decides to do something welll........

An armed, jacked up, junky drug dealer tried to kill my wife (and maybe my baby son). He broke down the door to get to her.

That was his first mistake.

He assumed he and I were such good friends that I'd stand idly by and let him (I been his bodyguard for a while).

That was his second major mistake.


The first stab went through his back into his kidneys.

Always with a weapon and always from behind- The Gospel According to Ketch.

He spun round and dropped into stance...did I mention he was a top class martial artist and practiced street fighter? Then he made his third mistake...he reached around with one hand to check the wound in his back.."y-y-you s-s-tabed me!".

As he said that my knife went through his liver.

I postitioned myself between him , my wife and the baby.

He advanced and I layed the Gypsy's Warning on him.

I kept him alive til the paramedics came ..THAT was my first mistake.

*ps people, if you're ever in that kind of situation then don't do what i did and pussy foot around. Being nice WILL get you killed. I was real lucky and I'm also real good , or rather was, at what I do.

MORE. I want more of these stories. You will tell them to me now or feel my wrath.

MORE. I want more of these stories. You will tell them to me now or feel my wrath.

Oksies,

He spent 6 weeks in Intensive Care (until he flipped, broke a nurse's jaw and had his probation revoked and landed back inside).

On the second day, after the police had let me go, his mother phones me and begs me to go and visit him!

So I go and he's near death, all very touching. He painfully reached out his hand and took mine.

He begged me to come see him the next day.

So I did.

He was obviously feeling somewhat better cos when i walked in the IC room the next day, he started mouthing off. He "knew people", he was going to "have me put down" blah blah blah.

Never threaten a Ketch when you're lying in IC with a tube in every orifice.

I slammed my knee into one of the tubes til he stopped screaming, went blue and the monitors started beeping.


Stupid idiot.

I didn't go and see him any more after that.

But I did go see his 'friends' and .....

But that, as they say dans Cafe Moustache, is another story.

After my best friend told me she was raped, I was ready to go out and kill a guy. She wouldn't give me the information I needed though... She didn't want me to kill him.

well one of my ex's used to be called a whore alot in school while i was dating her. So i went up to the guys who were calling her that and really put the fear of god into em, considering i've got like a huge build compared to them. So after they try to fight back a bit i put em in their place by getting real close to their faces and telling em to cut thier shit out or else in a real intimidating manor. Thats the furthest i've had to go so far.

in a real intimidating manor.

Yeah some of those stately homes can be a bit menacing :p

hahahaha well engrish was never my best subject

I haven't had the 'chance' yet.

But I can say, that if anyone tried to do something, to someone from my family, I would do anything to hurt/stop them, anything. I can take pretty much anything myself, even though I get angry extremely easy, I've been raised pretty good and as a result of that, I'm pretty good at controlling my anger.

EDIT: I do actually, when thinking about it, seem to remember some episodes from before I got good a controlling teh rage. Just pictures though. I remember my parents yelling at me and my brother standing infront of me with a smashed nose and blood in most of his face. And one more where I kicked some faggot in the stomach so he fell to the ground, as far as I remember I was trying to drink some water and he pushed me or some shit.

I've never had to do anything that extreme... I once tried to attack one of my moms ex's, but I was like 12, so that didn't work out too well, and he laid me out, but he did stop. The fucking pigs said they couldn't charge him with assault because he was fearful for his safety... I was 12 and he was a full grown man...

Once my best friend called as he was being followed by some undesirables he owed money to, so I grabbed my bat, and stopped by his girlfriends to grab her rotty. As i was walking down the street towards him the guys disappeared around a corner... To bad, the dog was hungry:(

I'm currently defending my boyfriend and my home from a psychotic cunt of a cokehead slag who's taken it into her head that I've been starting shit with her. This is an excuse.
She's out of reasons for hating me since last year, the last time I trounced her, retreived my boyfriend from her fetid presence and rode off into the sunset.
Apparently this time round she's got "m8s" to assist her, but I doubt it.

time will tell.

Jackketch, how did you get away with 'armed assault' ? Or was it clear to the police that you were doing what you had to to defend yourself and your family?
These days there are so many crappy technicalities and laws and shit, if I get into a fight with the cokehead skank I'm probably going to get my ass kicked because I'm trying to figure out a way to kick her that wont kill her.

To court.

To court.

wow to court huh? tell us more about this one

Jackketch, how did you get away with 'armed assault' ? Or was it clear to the police that you were doing what you had to to defend yourself and your family?

No it wasn't clear to the DA and i was duly charged and trialed for attempted murder/assault with a deadly weapon etc.

However the idiot came to court with a prison escort and in handcuffs, which always makes a good impression. Then he told a couple of mind numbingly and easily disprovable lies.

Finally he got aggressive and lippy with the judges (3 of them, German court).

At which point the chief judge simply turned to the DA and said 'You were planning to drop this case weren't you?"

And the DA swallowed hard and dropped it like a hot rectangular building thingy.

Then the judge turned to me and said " You went too far, further than Self Defence allows but to be truthful I would have kicked his arse too".

Jack, I love you.

Also, why did this guy want to kill your wife/child?

Once I was crossing the road at a (green) pedestrian crossing with my girlfriend and this BMW cut us off and I thumped on his window really hard.

PISTOL GRIP PUMP ON MY LAP AT ALL TIMES, THEY CAN BE FUCKING WITH OTHER NIGGERS SHIT BUT THEY CAN'T BE FUCKING WITH MINE

Oh and btw noone here is impressed that you'd "totally kill this guy if I had the chance/if I had to/if I knew where he lived". Shut the fuck up.

Well I've ended up getting beaten up by 3 guys because I was trying to calm down a guy who was about to hit one of my friends. Though I think many will remember my post with the pictures too:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/ZeroMalarki/Picture032.jpg

That eye healed up right?

Right?

But that, as they say dans Cafe Moustache, is another story.

Moar Ketch stories!

I've never had to defend a loved one. Looking into a mirror, I guess I'm kind of a pussy, but I'm trying to change that. Gotta be your own man. But I figure if it ever came down to it, I'd be overtaken by animal instinct and be like 'Yo dat be my kin/girl'...etc...etc...fist to the face...etc

Well I have done some crazy shit for a loved one before but I wanna post about my friend, he is a short stocky dude who is the biggest blackout I know when it comes to his girls. His girlfriend was being harassed by this dude alot and he would flirt with her all the time and touch her and shit when she said no, so one day he slapped her ass just as my friend comes around the corner, he ran over without even saying anything and grabbed the guy and punched him in the head 4 times and threw him down a flight of stairs, then ran down the stairs and stomped the guy a few times.

I once hit a guys head against a wall for trying to feel up my girlfriend without asking her first. Funny thing is i wouldn't have minded if she'd wanted him too. Odd relationship.

I've punched guys for what I thought was hitting on my Girl before but I wouldn't call them "loved ones" more I was drunk, liked to fight and knew I'd get pussy later. I punched my dad with weak fists when I was a kid for hitting my mom.

My little brother's bigger than me so I've never had to defend him. He's thrown guys to the ground in open public for simply oweing me money and we beat a guy up before for saying something untrue about me. I'd put myself in front of a bullet for my brother anyday. Unless I knew a couple hundred more would come or something...

Oh and btw noone here is impressed that you'd "totally kill this guy if I had the chance/if I had to/if I knew where he lived". Shut the fuck up.
That's just being an ignorant fuck. Don't say things. You do not know the deep connection and relationship between people or the anger and hatred that surges through me blocking out any logic when I found out she had been raped.

Fucking ignorant prick.

There was a dealer who was supplying weed to someone important to me. I was ok with that, but then he started giving her free samples of other stuff to try and get her buying that too. After I found her with a needle in her arm I went to his apartment.

I told him that if he didn't stop selling to her I'd kill him. Quite calmly and quietly. Unfortunately he became rather aggressive.

I broke his jaw, his elbow and 11 of his ribs. He also had a severe concussion and the various internal problems associated with that much damage to the torso.

Two days later there was a knock at the door and a couple of uniform cops took me down to the station. We got there and a uniform senior sergeant offered to take me to the interview room so the guys who picked me up could grab a coffee. On the walk there he pulled me off to the side and told me to keep my mouth shut, say absolutely nothing more than my name and address and he'd have me out of there in no time.

The D.S. who interviewed me got pretty pissed when I developed amnesia suddenly. He grilled me for about half an hour then there was a knock and a very senior policeman (I've seen him on the news a couple of times) told him that something had come up and I was free to go.

Apparently the aforementioned dealer had raped the sister of a cop and got away with it because of an evidence fuck up. Lucky for me really.

Well, there was the one time that my brother stupidly showed up here while I was having a party (and heavily intoxicated) with his ex-girlfriends' (who pretty much ruined his life but that's a long complicated story) brother, and I pretty much vented out all my rage and frustration at the bitch on the guy. Poor guy. When I was done everyone was utterly silent and shocked. Heh, twas funny. Then I started getting death threats (over a myspace type internet thing, mind you) from her little sister. OKAY. Stupid fucked up family. Burn in hell.

Another time during someone's psychotic manic paranoid episode during which they wanted to kill my dad I jumped in there and got some decent bruises, simply from being restrained. Looking back, jumping between 2 males twice my size and weight probably wasn't the best idea, but I'd do it again. I may be small but I am rageful and have fists of fury.

There were also times where I was willing to fight for my friends, but somehow it never came to that so I can't say for sure if I would. My family though... I'm very protective.

That's just being an ignorant fuck. Don't say things. You do not know the deep connection and relationship between people or the anger and hatred that surges through me blocking out any logic when I found out she had been raped.

Fucking ignorant prick.

You completely missed my point.

Maybe so, explain better?

I basically meant most people would go (or try and go) very far for women they love. It's pretty natural and universal across all men (I should hope, at least).

Claiming you "totally would have" etc seems like you're upset you haven't had a chance to do it, or you're trying to prove something, which is just immature. As manly as ketches story was I'm sure he'd much rather his wife and children were never threatened.

I have a black brother, he was adopted when he was 6. One day, one of my drunk buddies asked me why I was "hanging out with a nigger". As I had had about 5 beers, I was in the mood to fight. I had been watching human weapon the night before(the Muay Thai episode), and had been teaching myself to use my elbows as striking surfaces. I hit him in the side of the head with a right elbow, and he went down hard. Couldn't tell you what happened next, because the bouncer(this was a college bar) literally tackled me and I hit my head on a barstool and woke up in my friend's car.

Another time, I was driving to pick up my (now ex-)girlfriend from a party a couple towns away. About five minutes before I get there, I get a call from her. "I'm running toward the highway on [blank] street, this fucking creepy guy kept coming on to me there, and now he's following me down the street." Well shit. I actually picked her up completely by chance(almost hit her with my damn car as she was crossing a street). We drove about a block down, and she pointed this faggot out on the sidewalk. I took out a roll of quarters, which I always keep in my glovebox for meters. Must have looked like a badass, pulling up in my prius blasting lamb of god. Thats how I roll. Anyhow, pretty much just went up to him and jacked him straight in the mouth. When he went down, I had my gf kick him in the groin, just for fun. Actually, she probably couldve taken him alone, b/c she used to do tournament karate or something, and he was a short fat piece of shit.

...he reached around with one hand to check the wound in his back.."y-y-you s-s-tabed me!"

Can't believe I'm the first to say it, but here goes...

LOL....why u stab me?

Ask me the OP's question tomorrow, a week, or month from now and I might just have a doozy of a story for everyone. My nephew is currrently divorcing his wife, seeking custody of kids and they are having custody hearing this Friday. They are moving back in with my sis who lives about 3 miles from me, and considering the psycho wench my nephew is shedding himself from is completely mental....ANYTHING could happen in the near future, especially considering she already has a new guy in her life. Yeah, in the upcoming days/weeks ahead I may be spending significant time camped out in sis's backyard overnight or be a little "muscle" in broad daylight if need be.

As for my past, I have a couple but my most favorite was senior year. There was a guy that rode the bus and shared the same bustop with my girlfriend and was harrasing her. Actually she rebuffed his advances, and after that he would call her names and other nonsense. In our school the Catholic school kids would ride the same bus home from the high school, and he was part of that Catholic school prep crowd....so I never had a chance to encounter him in my school. She told me about all of this, and one day I rode the bus home with her, but not in her seat so as to tip him off at what was coming.

Bus drops us off at their stop, and this pissant 6'4" skinny fucker has his back to me. I called his name and dropped him with one punch when he turned around. I pummelled and kicked the little faggot repeatedly, and ended the whole thing by dragging the little bitch around the street by his tie. I was choking him during this dragging and had to let up somewhat when I dragged his carcass to my girlfriends feet making him apologize and promise to never mess with her again. She got the apology and I drag him over to the other sidesof the street...... his face and arms bloodied/bruised and his clothes in shreds from the ashalt massage. I let him go near the feet of his hottie younger sister, and made some comment about "take the faggot home and go fix him up you whore."....because at times she was in on the gossip and name calling as well. My girl never had a problem with anyone else on the bus after that. : )

I haven't ever had to do anything, but I can't imagine myself having too much trouble shooting someone, if I was in a rage. Sometimes I want to just fucking KILL someone, even if all they did was cut me off in traffic.

I can imagine that confrontation being similar to the final fight between Neo and agent smith.

I'm such a fucking coward that without a drink all i would muster would be spitting at something of the persons who offended my loved one...

Even if i did fight id lose, I'm weak and have a fucked up adrenaline system.

empty your e-pockets bitch!

empty your e-pockets bitch!

*wrestles getoffmylawn to the ground*

Never had the chance to defend a loved one. I'm not sure what I would do.

BTW, jackketch, thanks to you I think I have a bit of dyslexia. I've always read your name as 'jackktech'. =/

*wrestles getoffmylawn to the ground*

*maces yoyobek before getting thrown into a cruiser driven by al gore leader of the internets*

well...once someone said "i have sexual relations with your mother" and i said "no you dont, i have sexual relations with YOUR mother"

and thats pretty much it.

holy shit so did i!

holy shit so did i!

:D

when i read the start of that, i thought u copied the plot to the movie "chasing the dragon"

...then the raver goes "Whats so fucking funny?" and knocks the boyfriend's pie out of his hand. With in a second the boyfriend beat the shit out of the raver.
.

I also ended up fighting with someone because of pie. Actually he hit it and that was the start of the two weeks where we kept intimidating him until he had no ressources left but to fight. He fucking scratched me to blood. Congrats for hitting the rock bottom asshole :)

But for a girlfriend? Nothing. I guess people never end up fighting with me. They either fuck off or become my friends

I've been that guy. Then we talked it over, as the girl had liked me a bit too (we'd had an on and off relationship), and I loved her. I eventually apologized to the dude, layed off the girl, and he and I became much better friends. :)

well i guess mines the lamest one here. I told her twin sister(who was my best friend at the time) to leave us the fuck alone. yeah that one didn't work out to well.

I'm tolerant, but.

I haven't had to do anything yet (luckily) but I would go all out if the situation requires.

At the moment my current girlfriend seems to have a stalker on her hands, but he's nothing, all he will need is a fright and he'll back off.

But I always seem to almost get into fights for/with my mates. Just on the weekend this Maori guy threw a bottle through my mates drivers side window of his car when he was driving away from this party. The bottle hit his head around the eye and he had to get 25 stitches. Anyway, me and a few other mates ended up standing in the middle of the road, throwing bottles screaming things along the lines of "COME HERE YOU FUCKING CUNT!"
But knowing Maoris, since we had even numbers they decided to turn up with 20 more huge ones, one even had a hammer. We must have had at least ten cop cars show up.
But I guess my friends aren't technically loved ones

I've never had a lover to defend. And thanks to my lovely rehabilitation since childhood, I doubt I'de be able to get angry enough to do anything.