My life sucks. All I have wanted, ever since I was a little kid, was to have a nice chick to be with. Okay, maybe thats not all I ever wanted, but thats the biggy, and it's to the point where I don't even want to be alive if I can't have that. Ever since my gf left me everything has went to shit, and lately all I can think is about killing myself, and then about raping and killing people before I kill myself.

Looking back, this issue has always been the downfall of me, and despite trying shit like getting a job and getting money and selling drugs and parting nothing has really seemed to help. Even now I am letting this fuck up my job, and thus my money, but I just can't help - just stuck in this horrible fucking cycle.

I think I need laid, but women just seem dirty to me. I'd like to get back together with my exgf but am not sure I can... I wish I knew someone with a real bad drug problem who could kind of loose a kid without noticing, or maybe somehow get a girl with a daughter... just seems like everything will get harder as I get older. Before I could at least try to date highschoolers, now I'm too old to so I have to go for little kids, and pretty soon I am going to almost have like a parental type relationship.

Somewhere, some guy if beating his step daughter while her mom is strung out on drugs, and she'd probably be happy as hell to come be my gf - wouldn't have to go to school, just chill at the beech all day and do drugs and play and try to make money and fuck and eat -- good life imo.

Maybe I should just have a daughter? I don't know, thats kind of plan C....

Any idea what I can do? On paper this whole thing should be easy, just I fucked up my chance when I was young and now have to try and rig it the best I can. I still don't even know why the other girl stopped liking me - fixing that might be the best thing I can do because she did let me have sex with her and hasn't told but she just seems like she doesn't want to do it again. I don't know Totse -- help?

Jeff Beck, Ritchie Blackmore, Uli Jon Roth and Yngwie Malmsteen...Eddie was uli ,Beck and ritchie fan, he just never speaks about it.

bands? dunno...