About two months ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a guy named Devin. The convo pretty much went "Hey, I'm Devin, how are you?." "I'm Jackie, fine thanks."

Then I trotted upstairs for almost the rest of the night, looked for him at the end of the party though and I couldn't find him. Some how he found my myspace account, we talked on there for a bit, and then started talking through AIM/phone.

He's been acting really interested, saying things like "Look, you seem pretty chill, how'd you like to go get some coffee sometime." So we decide on coffee, yet never a time or day. We've been trying to hang out for atleast a month.

So today, we're supposed to go get coffee! He knows that I am a little bit of a lush, and tend to forget things, so he texts me saying "Hey what're your plans for the day?" I reply, saying "I'm stilling tryin' to figure them out." He says that he's thinking about coming to my neck of the woods today, and that we should chill if he does. I tell him to call and I'll see what I can do. He never does.

Blah blah blah it goes from there. Anyway, I'm trying to be the least clingy as possible, and I think that I may be pushing him away in the process. A few nights ago I really opened up to him, and I was sure he'd back off a little, though he didn't. However, he did say that he's getting bad vibes from me/feels like I'm not as interested as he is. How in the world do I keep him interested, and let him know that I DO like him? And why does he always make plans, yet never follow thru. (through, threw?) I would do something, but again, I feel like I'll come off as being too clingy.

Why don't you just make plans, say going to a concert, and sincerely invite him along. If he's interested he'll go, if he can't make it... well, nobody wants to be with someone that flaky anyway.

And by sincerely I mean don't offer as if you're only doing it to be polite, "I'm actually going to a concert friday, you can tag along if you like"

I'd be put off by your seeming total disinterest!

"yeah um we should go out for coffee sure. Um. whenever. um. bye."

Not very fucking usefull at all!

Be a bit decisive. Tell him "yes I'm free on XX day and I want to spend it with YOU."

Else he's going to go and find a girl who's more appreciative of his attentions.

It's nice he hunted you down online though. Think of all the weird google results he got back on you :D If he's not been scared off by your online perversions alone, he sounds like a keeper.


good luck

so wait, chicks like it when you internet stalk them?

This is what drives me crazy about most of the girls I meet. Quit playing hard to get or whatever and just tell him you like him.

Sometimes with some guys playing hard to get can backfire badly. He sounds a lot like one of those guys.

I agree with the above, we males can sometimes be dense. Playing hard to get will often just lead us to believe that you're uninterested.

Don't be clingy, but don't be aloof. Strike a balance, be yourself, and don't play games.
If he's a genuine guy, it should work..

I'm not TRYING to play hard to get, I know how frustrating that is for both sides and I don't need any complications. It's just that I have a hard time showing affection whenever I believe it comes off as being needy or desperate.

deciding when to have a cup of coffee is needy and desperate?

Ok, either "a cup of coffee" is some hidden message or are my view of being clingy way off?


Shit if a cup of coffee is clingy and all, then i'm a friggin obsessed stalker. I've done all sotrs of pervy stuff, like one time i asked this chick out to see a movie!! And we did!!

I'm a bad mofcuka.

Nooo it's not like that at all. I'm just a little worried about being too assertive and comming off as desperate.

Anyways, as of 5 minutes ago, we're meeting at the Starbucks on Burdick Street at 3 o clock! All is well.

Dont u have that recoil that females have to ditch a guy if he cant get the hint or cant play the right cards? Alot of girls wouldnt put up with that shit. And if he cant do the job fuck em. Dude sounds afraid or he doesnt know how you feel about him so hes just acting neutral

I'll be there too. MUAHAHAAHA! ;)

Jump the next time he calls.

Guys don't call girls unless they can be of use to them.

Geez, you male posters on this thread are being WAY too fuckin easy on this OP. I'm crossing my fingers that the coffee date is a complete disaster and he drops her like a bad habit. This whole thing is a perfect epitome of EVERYTHING that is wrong with women.

So she takes great pains to find this guy, yet wants to cool off and NOT show interest once she finds him. YUP, MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!

The guy asks her what she plans to do with her day, and as on the ball as she is her response is..."I haven't figured that out yet." Yet its the guy's fault because he can't be decisive making a date/time for coffee. YUP, MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!

She has an open/intimate conversation with someone, and instead of making that bond closer and stronger....she expects it to put more of a wedge in the relationship. YUP, MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!

In essence she really LIKES the guy, but doesn't want to show him that she likes him. Instead its a litany of mixed messages....."cmere, no back off, cmere, no back off, cmere, no back off". YUP, MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!

Yup, your female. Nothing you do has to make any sense in the least, as long as you can come up with whatever twisted rationalization to justify your weirdness and insecurities. Honestly, I hug my wife a little tighter every day when I read nonsense like above and remember the absolute FUCKING MIND GAMES that chicks play with their men and themselves.

I don't even want to hear if you two get hooked up and then have to witness your decisions about when its "right" to let him do this or that to you sexually. I can hear it already......

"Well, he finger fucked me on the 7th date and I did cum, so hard that I squirted 3 feet....but well, I just don't want him to think that I enjoy squirting that far....because he might get the wrong idea about me. I mean I LOVE sex, but if he thinks I like sex then he'll want to fuck me all the time....which is ok......but I don't want him to know that I like it THAT much because then he'll think I'm a nympho, even though I am. So if I squirted only 1 1/2 feet the next time he fingers me, do you think he'll understand I really enjoy the fingering but not so much to the point that is all he'll want to do....although that is what I really do want to do. I think?"

GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK!

I don't even want to hear if you two get hooked up and then have to witness your decisions about when its "right" to let him do this or that to you sexually. I can hear it already......

"Well, he finger fucked me on the 7th date and I did cum, so hard that I squirted 3 feet....but well, I just don't want him to think that I enjoy squirting that far....because he might get the wrong idea about me. I mean I LOVE sex, but if he thinks I like sex then he'll want to fuck me all the time....which is ok......but I don't want him to know that I like it THAT much because then he'll think I'm a nympho, even though I am. So if I squirted only 1 1/2 feet the next time he fingers me, do you think he'll understand I really enjoy the fingering but not so much to the point that is all he'll want to do....although that is what I really do want to do. I think?"

GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK!

Bitter, much?

Bitter, much?

Bitter? HELL NO!

Profoundly grateful that I haven't had to play these kind of games for the last 9 years? HELL YES!

Fearful that my wife is 20 minutes late running errands right now, and since she possibly could have been hit by a bus that I might have to go back to this game playing again in the months/years ahead? HELL YES!

Cmon Jack, you can't tell me you made ANY sense out of the OP's problem? Did you?

DaGuru, i worship you now.

I don't know when girls do that to me and play hard to get almost I prety much stop caring and when they make plans it's like yeah whatever your always saying maybe and shit so maybe i'll phone you back if I don't find something better to do. That's pretty much how I think.

Shoot DaGuru. Give ME a fucking break. I'm not going to put myself out there, taking chances of looking like a needy fucking whore! I'm NOT into mindgames and bullshit, and this guy is merely an aquaintence, not someone who I can just pour my little heart out to! He KNOWS that I like him, but doesn't know HOW much I like him. The coffee went very well, by the way. We ended up ditching the coffee, went swimming at an aquaduct, and had a damned good time. Nothing "amazing" clicked, but he's a cool guy and I'd like to do it again.

Now that I've broken the barrier, which I think is what made me post this anyways, I feel like our communication issues are going to get better. He knows I like him, I know he likes me now. Nothing to be afraid of anymore.