So, I was watching talk sex last night, and they were talking about sex stories. Sue said soemthing about them, and then said that men who write sex stories have a lot to offer women.

I call bullshit, because I think they are just creepy old men who fantasize about what they can't do.

Anyone else think this is false?

I was watching the same thing smoking a bowl in my room last night. I love that show.

Sue was right, I think. If you're able to write sex stories it shows you've got some imagination and a good grasp of the emotions and sensations you experience (or want to) during sex. I doubt a creepy old guy could write a good sex story as you'd assume they wouldn't have the knowledge or experience.

Its just like human nature, the more you apply your mind to shit, in the right sense, the more successful you'll be. Whether it be sex or whatever, i believe that shit to the fullest extent...mainly cause ive proved that shit to myself.

She's still alive?

Its a load of crap, read some of the shit in the erotica section of this website, there are people pissing and having orgasms, fucking dogs, children, mass rape and all kinds of fucked up stuff.

Well, if a person writes good (realistic) erotica then I think she's right.

But if it's necrophilia or "I was 13 and my grandma was visiting for the weekend" erotica, then that's different.

"I was 13 and my grandma was visiting for the weekend"

...I felt my member rise and quiver with excitement at the prospect of seeing my grandma's underwear on the washing line. It was the most erotic moment of my life. That was until dinner time...

...I felt my member rise and quiver with excitement at the prospect of seeing my grandma's underwear on the washing line. It was the most erotic moment of my life. That was until dinner time...

...when my sister sat next to me. She was wearing an all white shirt and "accidently" spilt her milk down her shirt. When she caught me looking she put her hand on my thigh...

Sex sex sex!

Good talk.

...when my sister sat next to me. She was wearing an all white shirt and "accidently" spilt her milk down her shirt. When she caught me looking she put her hand on my thigh...

"... I felt my member throb as my grandmother gently soaked a towel in warm water and cleaned my 10 year old sister's pert nipples. Her virtually non-existent breasts were now visible, as grandma had torn off sis's shirt and training bra..."

Keep it alive, people.

"... I felt my member throb as my grandmother gently soaked a towel in warm water and cleaned my 10 year old sister's pert nipples. Her virtually non-existent breasts were now visible, as grandma had torn off sis's shirt and training bra..."

"...She said 'Oh grandma...What big tits you have'. Grandma replied 'I've got an even bigger vibrator in my bag' I felt my testicles tighten and my hard member pulsate with passion. She reached into her bag and produced the longest vibrator I ever saw, turned it on high and pointed it towards my sister's..."

"...She said 'Oh grandma...What big tits you have'. Grandma replied 'I've got an even bigger vibrator in my bag' I felt my testicles tighten and my hard member pulsate with passion. She reached into her bag and produced the longest vibrator I ever saw, turned it on high and pointed it towards my sister's..."

"left eye. The eye secks that ensued was the most erotic and simultaneously disturbing thing that any Grandmother could do to a granddaughter. Immediately, my father jumped up and..."

"left eye. The eye secks that ensued was the most erotic and simultaneously disturbing thing that any Grandmother could do to a granddaughter. Immediately, my father jumped up and..."

"And he passionatley took his mother in his arms and proceeded to make her fist my sister as I watched in strangley arousing agony, fondling myself as my father picked up a bottle of wine off of the dinner table, I thought to myself "What on earth is he going to do with that?" and he showed me as he..."

"And he passionatley took his mother in his arms and proceeded to make her fist my sister as I watched in strangley arousing agony, fondling myself as my father picked up a bottle of wine off of the dinner table, I thought to myself "What on earth is he going to do with that?" and he showed me as he..."

...as he proceeded to pull-off in his own eyes...

...as he proceeded to pull-off in his own eyes...

"...Just as my mother walked in brandishing the sexiest looking cucumber I have ever seen. I could feel the need to shoot getting worse. My grandma fisting my sister while my dad pulled off in his own eyes...My man juice just had to be free...I had to let my love load go. My mother then sat on the corner of the table, laid back and proceeded to...."

And then my older brother with downsyndrome walked in on us, with his meat in his hand, jerking like a mad man.

Which ruined the moment, /KilledThread

Which ruined the moment, /KilledThread

Roffles.

...Then, after staring silently for a couple seconds the talent scout scratches his head and says "That's one hell of an act, what do you call yourselves?" to which the father stepped foward and said "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

Wow. +1000

FUCK YOU!

As I was reading this thread, I kept thinking to myself "I hope no one has done it yet... I hope no one has done it yet... This is going to be an epic Aristocrats..."

You robbed me of my glory :(

FUCK YOU!

As I was reading this thread, I kept thinking to myself "I hope no one has done it yet... I hope no one has done it yet... This is going to be an epic Aristocrats..."

You robbed me of my glory :(

I was actually suprised it had to be me, normally I read through a totse thread and every shitty joke I go to crack has already been done.

Damn...And I was enjoying that shit too!

And, I'll probably look dumb, but I'm lost with this Aristocrats thing!

here ya go.

I was kinda going for that joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l_rdSKXji0

Oh, and shes so fucking hot.

yeah she pretty decent, one of my friends looks almost exactly like a young sarah silvermen except hotter IMO.

Bob Sagget (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM)

Gilbert Gottfried did it good too (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg)

I've read some good erotica and plenty of really bad erotica. Really, it also takes experience and writing skills to write a good erotica. Having a grasp of emotions and what you're doing won't exactly cut it. Writing erotica, like most things, is all about balance. :)

Okay Bob Saget is a dirty dirty man.

Gilbert did it the best IMO.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker come up with some fucking good ones too
South Park version of The Aristocrats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWJmlUE_FVM)
Trey Parker doing it solo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzse87r1OiQ)

Lmao at whoever responded that they saw this episode while smoking a bowl.. I remember a coupel of weeks back I did the same thing.. Reading that was Deja Vu..

But on topic.. I'm kinda in the middle of the road.. I think that progression of the imaignation is a key factor in an adventurous and interesting sex life.. however what good is your imagination if you dont take initiative based on what your capable of.. Me and my past g/f's have engaged in phone sex.. and I usually get the same response.. I'm pretty damn good.. Odd.. almost all of my past g/f's and have wanted phone sex before the real thing.. a new fad?.. testing? try before you buy? lol

Matt Stone and Trey Parker come up with some fucking good ones too
South Park version of The Aristocrats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWJmlUE_FVM)
Trey Parker doing it solo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzse87r1OiQ)

http://rapidshare.com/files/49369126/The_Aristocrats.mp3.html

Couldn't find my version on youtube. It's from his CD. 10 min long I think.