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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2007-08-10, 11:32 |
BBBB 
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 What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
I'm not sure if this really belongs here but I know I'll get better responses than in SG.
My parents seem to get along well enough so this really blew my mind. I was driving to a friends house, when I see MY FUCKING DADDY walking along the sidewalk with another woman hand in hand. They were laughing and smiling. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties from what I could see, my dad is 49. They were probably heading to back to her apartment to do it.
My dad was supposed to have been at work. I squeeze on the breaks, take another look to make sure my eye's ain't deceiving me and then slam on the gas.
My face felt hot, my hands felt clammy and tears were running down my cheeks before I knew it. My dad is probably the most honest, moral person I know. The notion that he was sleeping with another woman completely shattered my world.
I have no idea how to react to this. I feel like I want to completely explode at my dad, attack him with a baseball bat, generally make him feel like shit for doing this. But that is probably not the best option.
I know there are a fair amount of mature people here, so give me some advice on how I should deal with this terrible situation.
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#2
2007-08-10, 11:36 |
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Sydney, Australia
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Two options:
1) Confront him, tell him what you saw, then maybe he'll stop it. Atleast talk to him about it, but don't get violent or anything.
2) Keep it to yourself.
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#3
2007-08-10, 11:41 |
el manuel
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Well you saw him holding hands not sleeping with her. So calm down. If he was supposed to be at work that is really fishy, but holding hands isn't the same as sleeping with. And if he is an honest, moral person you could always confront him. If you really caught him off guard he will tell the truth or make up bad lies. At least this way you will hear his side of the story. But I wouldn't draw your conclusions just yet. Still sucks to be in your position, good luck!
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#4
2007-08-10, 12:51 |
chickenpoop
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
http://www.cheaters.com/
do it....submit a case.
they'll find out the truth...and then put it on national TV.
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#5
2007-08-10, 12:54 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BBBB
I'm not sure if this really belongs here but I know I'll get better responses than in SG.
My parents seem to get along well enough so this really blew my mind. I was driving to a friends house, when I see MY FUCKING DADDY walking along the sidewalk with another woman hand in hand. They were laughing and smiling. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties from what I could see, my dad is 49. They were probably heading to back to her apartment to do it.
My dad was supposed to have been at work. I squeeze on the breaks, take another look to make sure my eye's ain't deceiving me and then slam on the gas.
My face felt hot, my hands felt clammy and tears were running down my cheeks before I knew it. My dad is probably the most honest, moral person I know. The notion that he was sleeping with another woman completely shattered my world.
I have no idea how to react to this. I feel like I want to completely explode at my dad, attack him with a baseball bat, generally make him feel like shit for doing this. But that is probably not the best option.
I know there are a fair amount of mature people here, so give me some advice on how I should deal with this terrible situation.
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:( My sympathies to you.
But, you know, this doesent change anything.
Your parents still love you. It's not as though your dad is going to stop loving you just because he's got a new bitch.
Do you think perhaps your parents have had problems and both have agreed to see other people?
I mean, if he was walking down the street hand in hand with this woman he clearly doesent care who see's him.
Would you consider talking to him? I dont mean in an accusatory fashion like "OMG you cheating fuck!"
but as in "hey dad. I saw you on Y street the other day, with a lady.." and take it from there. But try to avoid being accusatory. |
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#6
2007-08-10, 13:57 |
King3x
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Ha, my mom's been having an affair with her boss for the past 5 years. They've actually said "I love you" over the phone when my family is watching TV. Thing is, my dad isn't suppose to know.
I'd like to call her a dumb bitch and confront her but I'm too much of a pussy to be honest. I'm pretty sure my dad already knows though, so whatever.
Honest, if my mom wasn't my mom, I wouldn't like her. But since she is, I love her TT.
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#7
2007-08-10, 14:10 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
If my son said 'doing it', I think I'd need to have an affair too. We're adults here, you can say 'fuck' or 'have sexual intercourse' we won't be offended , I promise :P
Anyways simple answer is you keep your nose the fuck of it all. Maybe you misread something and even if you didn't you don't know the situation behind your parent's bedroom door.
If you know your dad is ahonest and upright man usually then don't judge him too quick.
Oh and btw yes this very much belongs here.
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#8
2007-08-10, 15:06 |
rocker
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
I see oodles of pocket money prvilages here!
Pocket money.....that sounds so old fashioned.....Allowance, thats the yankee word for it....right!
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#9
2007-08-10, 15:40 |
Graah
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Well, you didn't tell us much about your mom. I know it isn't much of an excuse, but can you at least see why your dad cheated? Is your mom one of those smart, funny hotties, or a cold hearted mean bitch?
Yeah, I dunno. Find out more. There could be another explanation.
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#10
2007-08-10, 16:12 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
I see oodles of pocket money prvilages here!
Only you..! :D
That is indeed a brilliant idea, if he can pull it off.
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#11
2007-08-10, 16:50 |
getoffmylawn
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
well he may not have been cheating per se they were only holding hands. My mom cheated on my Dad with my friends dad when I was a kid but my dad didnt find out til later. I had my suspicouns when I was like 9 or 10 which is pretty fucked up in hindsight. Don't blame her though...
Anyways, find out more and confront your dad. Ever see that episode of freaks and geeks where the guys dad cheats and he bikes around the city with the garage door opener trying to find the woman? That was a good episode. They should bring that back...
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#12
2007-08-10, 18:25 |
sixtyten
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BBBB
I'm not sure if this really belongs here but I know I'll get better responses than in SG.
My parents seem to get along well enough so this really blew my mind. I was driving to a friends house, when I see MY FUCKING DADDY walking along the sidewalk with another woman hand in hand. They were laughing and smiling. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties from what I could see, my dad is 49. They were probably heading to back to her apartment to do it.
My dad was supposed to have been at work. I squeeze on the breaks, take another look to make sure my eye's ain't deceiving me and then slam on the gas.
My face felt hot, my hands felt clammy and tears were running down my cheeks before I knew it. My dad is probably the most honest, moral person I know. The notion that he was sleeping with another woman completely shattered my world.
I have no idea how to react to this. I feel like I want to completely explode at my dad, attack him with a baseball bat, generally make him feel like shit for doing this. But that is probably not the best option.
I know there are a fair amount of mature people here, so give me some advice on how I should deal with this terrible situation.
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Sadly enough, you have to confront him.
Unless of course you can live with a now tainted, illegitimate, untrustworthy, and somewhat fake (in certain categories) relationship with your dad.
You probably want to blame the woman too, but a relationship is mutual, and needless to say usually the man is the aggressor... |
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#13
2007-08-10, 21:21 |
bain surgeon
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Allowance, thats the yankee word for it....right!
No, us yanks call it black mail.
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#14
2007-08-11, 05:11 |
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South Jersey Shore
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
People are weird, you never know.
It could be an unspoken thing between your parents, they go other places for sexual enjoyment because they understand that fucking the same person for 50 years isn't the most exciting thing ever.
But, also, there are sooo many odd explanations for this. Think of all the reasons that your dad would be holding hands with another girl, other than cheating. Crazy shit happens, bitch might have been blind, your dad could have been helping a blind co worker out. He might have had the intention of cheating, but turned back because he thought about it and felt guilty. Maybe she asked him to hold hands with her to make her ex boyfriend jealous, because they're friends and he wanted to help her out.
There are a million things that it might be, you never know until you actually see the dong go in.
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#15
2007-08-11, 05:39 |
ingutted
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
:( My sympathies to you.
Do you think perhaps your parents have had problems and both have agreed to see other people?
I mean, if he was walking down the street hand in hand with this woman he clearly doesent care who see's him.
he obviously didnt think anyone he knows would see him.
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#16
2007-08-11, 06:13 |
MH-iforgotmypassword
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
To be honest... who knows what it was. Since you only saw them holding hands, you have to bring it up all the more, as it could have been many things.
Don't be too scared though. Cheating happens. Usually, especially if theres counselling, it doesn't end the relationship. Regardless, your parents love you.
Talk to him for your sake, and for his.
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#17
2007-08-11, 06:32 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
No, us yanks call it black mail.
*wishes we still had rep*
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#18
2007-08-11, 07:52 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Well man if you're not a troll, tell us something about your mom.
And I know it's hard for you to see this now because well, he's your dad and you'll always see him in a good light.
My dad was absolutely awful to my mom, I mean he never hit her but there was alot of uh.. psychological abuse and guy stuff intruding.
I forgive him because my mom did, and they were young. and I have alot of anger/depression issues that he has too, so it's on me now too. He took a while to grow up and I suspect I will too.
But listen, this really doesn't have anything to do with you. So I'd just go talk to your dad and give him a little disclaimer that you're not accusing him, and it doesn't affect your opinion of him and you just want to know the truth.
At least thats what I would do.
And the worst thing you could do is go tell your mom right now and maybe cause unneccessary conflict because of a false alarm, or cause her to act in anger and do some things she shouldnt've.
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#19
2007-08-11, 08:41 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Feds In Town
Well man if you're not a troll, tell us something about your mom.
And I know it's hard for you to see this now because well, he's your dad and you'll always see him in a good light.
My dad was absolutely awful to my mom, I mean he never hit her but there was alot of uh.. psychological abuse and guy stuff intruding.
I forgive him because my mom did, and they were young. and I have alot of anger/depression issues that he has too, so it's on me now too. He took a while to grow up and I suspect I will too.
But listen, this really doesn't have anything to do with you. So I'd just go talk to your dad and give him a little disclaimer that you're not accusing him, and it doesn't affect your opinion of him and you just want to know the truth.
At least thats what I would do.
And the worst thing you could do is go tell your mom right now and maybe cause unneccessary conflict because of a false alarm, or cause her to act in anger and do some things she shouldnt've.
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*wishes we still had rep* |
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#20
2007-08-11, 08:50 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BBBB
I'm not sure if this really belongs here but I know I'll get better responses than in SG.
My parents seem to get along well enough so this really blew my mind. I was driving to a friends house, when I see MY FUCKING DADDY walking along the sidewalk with another woman hand in hand. They were laughing and smiling. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties from what I could see, my dad is 49. They were probably heading to back to her apartment to do it.
My dad was supposed to have been at work. I squeeze on the breaks, take another look to make sure my eye's ain't deceiving me and then slam on the gas.
My face felt hot, my hands felt clammy and tears were running down my cheeks before I knew it. My dad is probably the most honest, moral person I know. The notion that he was sleeping with another woman completely shattered my world.
I have no idea how to react to this. I feel like I want to completely explode at my dad, attack him with a baseball bat, generally make him feel like shit for doing this. But that is probably not the best option.
I know there are a fair amount of mature people here, so give me some advice on how I should deal with this terrible situation.
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Keep the peace with you're family, let it slide... for the better. |
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#21
2007-08-11, 11:26 |
chickenpoop
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
It's most likely your fault.
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#22
2007-08-11, 13:01 |
rocker
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
*wishes we still had rep*
Yah what happened to that rep thing, I was almost on the verge of being liked/helpful/loved even!
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#23
2007-08-11, 13:46 |
chickenpoop
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
*wishes we still had rep*
ya...no rep....i did notice that my infractions are still there though.....fucking one sided system.
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#24
2007-08-11, 23:05 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Investigate. Tap his email. Follow him. Find the woman.
I doubt it'd be an affair. If it was, he'd be more secretive, don't you think? She could be an old school friend of his. An unknown relative, even. Maybe she's blind and needs leading?
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#25
2007-08-11, 23:32 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
ya...no rep....i did notice that my infractions are still there though.....fucking one sided system.
Infractions are very different to rep. If you've not got any infractions lately the older ones should soon expire. If they havent allready.
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#26
2007-08-12, 04:52 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
well your not 100% shure what he was doing so just go and tell him you saw him with her and u want to know whats up Best of luck
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#27
2007-08-12, 07:02 |
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Napier, New Zealand
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
If I found out my father was cheating on my mother, I would take to him with my fists. And if my mother cheated on my father, I would find the guy and smash his head in.
But thats just what I would do.
I don't take kindly to cheaters.
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#28
2007-08-12, 10:06 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
When my parents were together my dad tended to go off to France to work a fair bit. My mum told me the other day that once when she was still with my dad she got an..infection. And the nurse had to break it to her that it was Chlamydia.
That a fat, horrible dirty fuck like my dad could or would cheat on my mum, who was loving and pretty and at that time genuinely loved him...It makes me sick.
My mum only told me this recently. And after hearing that my perspective on men who cheat has changed alot.
I think that man may have a small problem with his car soon.
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#29
2007-08-12, 13:15 |
nau06248
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Ask him, "who was tht woman you were with?"
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#30
2007-08-12, 16:42 |
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bangor northern ireland
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BBBB
I'm not sure if this really belongs here but I know I'll get better responses than in SG.
My parents seem to get along well enough so this really blew my mind. I was driving to a friends house, when I see MY FUCKING DADDY walking along the sidewalk with another woman hand in hand. They were laughing and smiling. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties from what I could see, my dad is 49. They were probably heading to back to her apartment to do it.
My dad was supposed to have been at work. I squeeze on the breaks, take another look to make sure my eye's ain't deceiving me and then slam on the gas.
My face felt hot, my hands felt clammy and tears were running down my cheeks before I knew it. My dad is probably the most honest, moral person I know. The notion that he was sleeping with another woman completely shattered my world.
I have no idea how to react to this. I feel like I want to completely explode at my dad, attack him with a baseball bat, generally make him feel like shit for doing this. But that is probably not the best option.
I know there are a fair amount of mature people here, so give me some advice on how I should deal with this terrible situation.
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there are plenty of explanations for this. Your just immediately making assumptions. all you seen was that they were holding hands. 'you dont got nottin on him'...
(plenty of explanations such as?) <--- shut up
btw...'the fuck happened to rep |
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#31
2007-08-13, 04:00 |
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Re: What would should could I do? My dad is having an affair.
when i was 17 i found out my Mom had been cheating on my Dad,to make it worse she was doing it with my best friends older brother,when my friend found out he came right to me and let me know,My Dad never found out, i never told on her,my Dad loved my Mom more than life and it would have destroyed him....plus he more than likely would have killed the guy,my Dad's redneck side will come out when he is pissed, But i figured i could just keep my mouth shut to him and keep something really bad from happening, i went to my Mom and told her i knew what was going on,she tried to deny it, but she knew i knew the truth,told her to break it off or i would tell the old man, then i went to my friends brother and tried to get him to stay away,he decided instead to be a asshole about it so i beat the shit out of him, sometimes i wish i had told my Dad, but they have been married for 37 years now, so i know i did the right thing. i guess everybody fucks up. we are only human
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