This may get lengthy as backround information is needed. I'm not really sure if the title fits the post, but I couldn't think of anything else.

Anywho, I was the chubby one of my small circle of friends, but I've recently lost about 20 lbs. and started actually taking care of myself. I began asking my woman-friends about their experiences with guys, blah blah blah and how to get them to ask for your number. The majority of them said, "Men are visual people, they like when you dress sexy, throw on some makeup, and attract attention to yourself."

I thought I was shit out of luck. I will not compromise my comfort for a guy, I'm a jeans and a tee kind of gal, typically an introvert, and I don't bother to wear a ton of makeup. But as I started to feel better about my appearance, I forgot about dressing pretty or whatever, and just decided hey if a guy can't find me attractive in clothes that I like, then why the hell should I bother?

Now to the problem/question, I was walking out of K-mart the other day in my everyday attire, and a guy approaches me and asks me for my number. I was shocked because I looked very, hm, regular. The next day, a guy at a gas station asks me for my number, and again, I wasn't wearing anything special.

So on and so on.

I'm a little confused, because my friends said they had luck with guys when they were all fancy and what not, yet when I look at my worst, I get asked for my number. And when I DO put on something nice, guys don't approach me at all. I wouldn't consider myself better looking than my friends, or most people, and I really don't radiate any good vibes.

So, are guys more attracted to woman who are casual opposed to woman who put themselves out there. Is it because they're intimidated by them?

Blah this is poorly written. I'm just very confused and rambling.

imo a matter of coincidence

Your confusion is as big as mine.

Don't fret though. It's better to get attention for your natural beauty than to have horny men with old balls chasing after your cleavage.

Congrats on losing the weight!

I prefer girls who are comfortable wearing what they want. I mean, obviously I'm not gonna ask for a girl's number if she's wearing like, orange footy pyjamas and a tin foil hat but she can be wearing whatever she likes. As long as she's comfortable, it's noticable.
I don't want a girl who's gonna go all out just in case she runs into prince charming at the supermarket. Too much effort, which in turn would suggest slutiness. Not very appealing.

If a girl dresses up, cool. As long as she's comfortable with who and what she is, no problem!

So unless you're wearing orange footy pyjamas and/or a tin foil hat, throw your number this way! :p

sounds to me like you have no confidence in anything your doing.

i know i like a girl who knows what shes doing and does it with confidence. or at least they need to SEEM like that.

also, i dont understand the mindset of a dude who goes up to a random chick outside of K-mart asking for a number... or a gas station... never done it, never seen it done, never heard of it done until now...

Maybe the guys have just seen a pretty girl looking comfortable and confident (I dunno about you, but I always feel more comfortable in my slobby clothes or jeans than when I'm all dressed up) and decided to ask for her number. :)

Personally I think if a girl wears clothes that she can button and is clean, I don't give a shit.

pics. We are visual.

The whole "guys are attracted to looks" thing is partly true but the real secret is femininity. That's right, in general the more of a girl you are, the more guys will find you attractive. When you friends are all tarting themselves up, all they are doing is exaggerating how feminine they are.

If you want proof, ask yourself why almost all guys find women who are short, blonde and curvy with a girly voice more attractive than tall, broad shouldered women who speak like Sylvester Stallone.

Enjoy your new-found attractiveness and confidence.
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That's just it. Everyone likes something different. You're never going to be happy with someone if you can't do whatever the fuck you want. Wear what you want, be comfortable, and guys will like you for being yourself.

You probably look easy. We've all done it. Some girl walkin out off K-mart who doesn't look smokin' and high maitenace would be more likely to put out faster than some rich hot mallrat bitch.

Wait til the guy falls asleep then rob him blind.

Seems like once you decided you didn't give a shit what other people thought about you, thus gained confidence, guys started approaching you.
Guys don't pay attention to what girls are wearin if they really like them. Guys are basically the same as girls. When you look for a guy you don't look for the best dressed guy in the room. Its all about the air of confidence their puttin out.
If their lookin for a good fuck, its pretty easy to tell which girls will give it up easily based on what they're wearin.
So your friends are either whores, or they feel more confident when they're well dressed
Everyone's got some kinda vibe they put out, so once your confidence was boosted, guys started approachin you.
Granted, you've gotta be semi-attractive for this to apply, but based on what your saying you're probably of above average physical attractiveness.
congrats :).

Yeah, I don't look high maintenance, because I'm not. And with that being said, I don't look easy either, because I'm not. In my original post, I said that I take care of myself.

Sorry if that sounded harsh.

Just a random theory but I personally would find a girl in street clothes far more approachable(sp?) than one that was all dressed up.

Yeah, I don't look high maintenance, because I'm not. And with that being said, I don't look easy either, because I'm not. In my original post, I said that I take care of myself.

Sorry if that sounded harsh.

I'll be the judge of that. Pics are in order.

There are no ugly women, just lazy ones.
Put on a nice dress and some makeup and wear the confidence that naturally comes.

Btw, it goes doubly for men since society doesn't judge men as harshly as women.
A couple of months ago I started taking better care of my hair, I started grooming properly and I put on nice fitting clothes and I started working out.
After that Ive gotten a lot of compliments on my looks.
Its that easy guys, really.

^^ Yea true, no offense to OP but seems to me if u were the kind of guy that goes to gas stations to pick up girls u would probably go for the poorly dressed, unconfident looking, aka EASY and SUBMISSIVE (in ur mind) ones.

I think everyone's different - I feel more comfortable in dresses, skirts, and girly tops.. any any discomfort from heels now and again is outweighed by the confidence and the warm feminine feeling inside. But I feel at ease in these clothes.
It can be far less intimidating for a guy to see a woman at ease with herself, confident, and not dressed up to the nines. Some girls are so done up and concerned with looking good that they can't relax.
I say be yourself, but do draw attention to your best assets if possible. I don't mean hike your cleavage up to the eyeballs, just maybe wear a nice fitting top, maybe a bit more low cut than usual. Find the jeans that best flatter your ass and legs.. that way you will feel at ease, and have a way of feeling dressier.
:)

i have seen that the girls who take care of them selves are usually pretty easy to get along with and are approachable since they have that confidence to be comfortable as they are.

for example: when i first met my wife it was at a job that we shared for a while. everyone had that same stupid ass uniform on so there was nothing to really make her stand out except her confidence the fact that she comfortable being herself as is and not something she wasn't.

i guess it is really a matter of opinion though. i prefer the previously mentioned and not the type that win your attention with fakeness.

Don't change your dressing sence for other people. I remember when at my school we had a casual day, and some gilr in the year below me was in a group of friends who all had the emo look going, and she was wearing a pair of faded jeans, one of those big colourful hippy tops and a pair of aviators. I though that was bad ass.

pics. We are visual.

Yes, I agree.

Thanks so much guys. I think in order to become someone a guy wants to meet, you have to be comfortable with yourself, whether that may be in a little black dress or some jeans.

Again, couldn't thank you enough. <3

E: To Eddy, maybe he went to the gas station, to you know, get some gas? Haaa I just have a really hard time accepting that I might look easy.

I agree with this.

Plus, I have NEVER known ANY girl that gets asked for numbers for no apparent reason. Usually there is at least SOME form of prior communication.

IMO, if I was a girl, and a random guy came up to me and asked for my number, with no pre-occurring conversation, I would run. Creepy.

I think some guys may think you are too attractive for them when you are all dresses and and what not. Just a thought

So, are guys more attracted to woman who are casual opposed to woman who put themselves out there. Is it because they're intimidated by them?

In my case yes. Makes me think she must be the outgoing and socially concerned type; unlikely that we would share interests.

hey if a guy can't find me attractive in clothes that I like, then why the hell should I bother?

If only there were more people like you

so where are these pics?

E: To Eddy, maybe he went to the gas station, to you know, get some gas? Haaa I just have a really hard time accepting that I might look easy.

OK fair enough i was just putting it out there.