My girlfriend asked me the other day if I love her, now it was in a text message so I told her that it was a confusing and powerful subject and that tiny little letters and emoticons would hardly do it justice.

Since then I've been thinking about it a bunch. I'll catch myself thinking about how I'm completely in love with her but then I question myself. I'm only 17, we've only been dating for 4 months, how could I possibly love her?

What do I listen to? All those who have been in love, did you know straight out it was love? Or is there a gray area?

I'm thoroughly confused! :p

-F☺rd

(First post in forever! But this is important and I most certainly need all of your advice. :) )

I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I've been going out with my girlfriend for around 7 months now and I really couldn't see myself without her. Constant thoughts of her, dreams even. Maybe THAT'S love? The constant need for your partner?

I think that there is a little grey area, but I'm no expert.
Just let yourself go?

Hey, I missed you. :)

That's exactly it though! I think that maybe I need to keep reason out of it. ;)

i'd say all you guys pretty much hit the nail on the head. when you get that feeling of not wanting to be without her and unable to think of a life apart, then you're in love

hehe, I did too. :) You're one of my favorite posters.

So I guess we need to keep logic out of something illogical, huh? :)

Good luck with everything, man.

You know and accept his or her faults as part of the entire person you love.

You are completely comfortable and yourself around him/her.

You can tell him/her anything and everything.

He/She looks more beautiful every time you look at them.

Every kiss is the best kiss.

But mostly, you just know.

I wonder too.
My girlfriend of 2months told me she loved me a week ago when we were spooning.
I didnt know what to say so I did a smooth Bean and just didnt say anything.
:P
She wants me to go to her place today because she has been thinking..."about you, and me, fornicating, hihi"
She wants to sex me, what do I do?
My sexdrive hasnt been this low in ages, the drop just had to happen when hers is peaking.
Fucking life...

Ask yourself these questions.

When you first wake up in the morning, who do you think of?

When you go to sleep at night, who do you think of?

When you are at school, work, etc. etc., who do you think of?

When you can answer these with a person, and all being the same person, then you are in love.

When she pats you on the bum and says "You're in, love".

For me, it's a general feeling of happiness with that person's company, and a desire to go out of my way to improve their day.. and a willingness to forgive

It's hormonal...The relationship is very new so your hormones are still racing at the thought of her.

Give it 6 months to 1 year and if you still feel the same, it's love.

Until then...Just say it is...It can't hurt.

Its funny how we all use the term love alot, and yet, there are still conflicts as to what it actually is.

Personally I think that love is when you are comfortable in the presence or your other half and uncomfortable when not. The very thought of the person makes you happy.

Even google doesn't give a definate answer: Google's Love (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define%3A+love&btnG=Search)

I knew right away when I felt it what it was. It started out no feelings at all, just good friends, then I found him attractive and I fell head over heals. It's been almost 2 years and my emotions haven't shifted an inch. I know I love him.

I doubt you could really know if you loved some one in a 4 month period. The last guy I dated was convinced he was "in love" with me, but I knew I didn't love him. He made it a lot worse and every feeling I had disappeared because of the pressure I felt to feel like I he did about me.

Tell your girlfriend you care about her and what not but it's too soon to tell if the feelings you have for her are really love. It's such a turn off for me for that to be such a common discussion between my significant other and I, I don't know about you. But I'd try to make it as clear as possible to her to not press you, it could decrease your chances of really falling for her.

Edit: My best definition for love would be an immaculate connection between two people. No matter what that person does, if it's fucking an animal, killing a person, etc. you'll never stop loving them. Everything bad about them makes you love them even more, every moment spent with them, everything they say or do or you share together is cherished. You could be stranded on an island with them the rest of your life and not worry about seeing anybody else. I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. :)

Wow, this thread is full of amazing posts. :)

Thanks everybody that replied!
It's funny how things change, when I posted this thread I was sure it was love. Since then we've had some infidelity issues and I can't stand then thought of her.

We're still together, I can't imagine being without her, but I can't really see this being good for me. :(

-F☺rd

Man, I'm sorry buddy. That's terrible.

Every good relationship has its down fall. Do you think things will get better? Or are you at least hoping so?

i agree with sylph

i myself right now am in a horrible relationship its all messed up but i cant stand the thought of moving on, i really care for her i guess that could be love but its too early to tell
its jacked up too though

There's this weird queasy feeling you have when you think of her or call her.

I was at the fairgrounds with an old man and we were talking about girls and his wife had died a few years prior.

I said, "Sir, I think I'm in love with this girl."
He said, "Nope, you're not."
I said, "Why?.."
He said, "Because you had to think about it."

I'll never forget that night and those words, and I think they're true.

You know because love is a curse visited upon the unwary. It makes everything else seem pointless it can make your world crumble and it can make you care about nothing more than a pitiful glimpse of the person and a hope that they will be happy even if you can never be.

..That was deep, man. *sniff*

I think.... you're thinking about it too much. :) Love is different for everbody, there's no right or wrong way to go about it. If you feel an insatiable urge to tell her you love her, whatever that means to you, then go for it. If you don't, then don't. I understand the whole awkward "Should I say it back..." thing, but I don't really believe in telling people what they want to hear for the sake of it. I like 73cv's story... it makes a lot of sense to me.

I'm sorry to hear you're now having problems though. I Hope stuff works itself out.

It's a plague that can ruin your life when they leave you.

Stop. Wait a second.

Loving someone and being in love with someone are two totally different things. I've told every single girlfriend I love them, but I usually save it as a special thing to say to show major meaning. I've never once told a girl -- or a guy -- I was in love with them. I consider them two totally different things.

I think you know it when you're in love with someone, as in you don't have to think about it. I've been dating this girl for a while and one day when I was about to leave her house, I got that automatic "bye, I love you" pop into my mind instead of "bye, i'll talk to you tonight" or something similar . Didn't ever realize it till I had to catch myself before I said something I hadn't put thought into.

Told her a few days later and I don't regret it at all.

If you're not sure, then you're in the gray area....

even if you think you're sure, you may just be caught up in the moment. I've been there.....I don't know, maybe i was in love....but it ended...so i figure if it can end, it wasn't really love.

but 4 months is pretty quick...especially at 17....when i was 17 i was "in love" with a girl....and i truly thought i was....a week after she left i fucked her best friend....which she never found out...the long term shit continued for a while, until i started dating another girl.... so, im going to say you probably are not in love....more like infatuated and taken with the moment and all the new feelings and emotions you are feeling now.

just go with it i guess, everyone has to.

but if she tells you over a text message for the first time....that shit is weak. thats not the way you break that kind of news/feelings....thats really immature, and probably not sincere. was it at night? after she had been drinking/doing drugs? thats how my last girlfriend told me, after a long night of drinking....i told her to shut up and tell me when she was sober.
she did the next morning...shit went well for a while...i never felt the love but i said it...then eventually i felt it....and soon after she didnt.... i asked if she was actually in love with me, and fell out of love with me, or if she never really loved me, but it was something else......she didnt know. young girls are stupid and confused. i assume yours is the same.

tell your girl that love is a powerful word with a lot of meaning to it, and it shouldnt be thrown around carelessly. tell her that you both know that you care about eachother deeply, but you dont want to bring that word into the equation yet. or something along those lines....

I'm pretty sure that word fucked up my last real relationship.

You know you're in love when you don't pull out.

Then I've been in love with MANY girls....lol...not quite.

Then I've been in love with MANY girls....lol...not quite.


hahahaha :D

when you get shot in the butt with an arrow by cupid.

If you can tell a girl/guy you love them, to their face, without feeling ashamed or embarassed, it's safe to say you are.

if u dont know if ur in love, your not in love. If you think your in love, your probably not in love. If you are 100% sure ur in love... you 'might' be in love.

Aww no way. . . I agree with your definition of love completely (or pretty damned closely), but as far as disregarding the feeling just because "it's too soon" is the part I'd label the "gray area." Time can have a tricky effect when it comes to falling/being in love. :(

Aside from that, I found 73cv's post to hold true also. If you have to bash your head into the wall repeatedly, asking yourself whether or not you love him/her and why then chances are it isn't there.

Good luck with your gal, man. Hope all goes well.

Cheers mate!

There's no such thing.

Baby don't hurt me,

Don't hurt me,

No more

Just don't overthink it. Love doesn't click on and off. It's up to you to express love or not to.

Thats not love, thats just liking someone alot. You can always still break up or something.

It's not love.

Update!

I told her I loved her and immediately afterwards I realized it wasn't true. I said I was sorry and that it was a product of a lot of emotional strain caused by some factors in our relationship and she was very understanding. :)

Anyways, we're on about the start of the second week or a two week break now, just so we can both recoup separately a bit (not much to do with the love mess). It's been a good thing and pretty drama-free which is WONDAFUL. ;)

I did hook up with another girl and although it was said that that was completely okay in the terms of the break, I still feel pretty horrible. :(

So. Not love but I do like her a bunch and for the first time in a month or so I actually see this working. Thanks friends. :p

-F☺rd

theres no set guidelines that you have to qualify in to be considered in love, love is just a feeling, an emotion. how do you know your happy.. or sad.. or any emotion. you just do

Love is driving by their house in the middle of the night just to try and catch a glimpse of them.

Love is hating every family member, friend, co-worker and random aquaintance who gets to speak to or spend time with them, because you want to be the only person who enjoys their company.

Love is that feeling you get in your stomach when you're going through their emails and text messages and you're POSITIVE you're going to find out they're fucking your sister behind your back but you can't stop looking anyways.

Love is driving by their house in the middle of the night just to try and catch a glimpse of them.

Love is hating every family memeber, friend, co-worker and random aquaintance who gets to speak to or spend time with them, because you want to be the only person who enjoys their company.

Love is that feeling you get in your stomach when you're going through their emails and text messages and you're POSITIVE you're going to find out their fucking your sister behind your back but you can't stop looking anyways.


ummmm..... no

whoa! i've never done the drive by thing....but my ex lives pretty far away...

but the second two hit close to home.... i hate it if any of my good friends were hanging out with her...but most won't. and ive definately gone through her emails/facebook....and found out disturbing shit...which i had already suspected.

but i've been telling myself i wasnt in love with her....at the same time im having a hard time believing myself.

..That was deep, man. *sniff*

Meh, it was probably just a moment of lucidity in amongst a haze of confusion.