If you could go back in time and talk to your pre-first-sexual-encounter-self, or your virgin-self what would you say?

Something along the lines of 'Stick it in the Pooper'?
or something like "A No is not THAT different from a Moan'?
or something serious?

"just dont bother. Dont bother dressing up nice because trust me, no one at that party is going to be sober enough to care about anything other than the fact you're female.
Just stay home, watch CSI and indulge in your girlish little crush on Horatio, eat some icecream, and have an early night.
Trust me on this, you do not want to go to that party"

I want to send me back to talk to the me of the past.

I hope you mean Hornblower.

wear a condom so you don't freak the fuck out for a couple days afterwords after your friend explains to you the concept of "pre cum"

Penis goes into hole.

"don't Do It!!! You'll Become The Biggest Slut In The County!!"

:(

"Don't forget doggy style!"

Horatio is such a dream :o

Don't sleep with girls after the breakup.
Anal is overrated.
No fat chicks.
Stay away from one night stands, they're not worth it.
Don't waste your time with younger girls.
Rape is -only- a last resort.
Married women are fine, but don't be stupid enough to get emotionally involved.
Don't sleep with anyone you wouldn't be willing to have a child with.
Lay off the yellow 5.
Stay away from broken people.
Beach sex isn't as hot as it sounds.
The pullout method may be reasonably effective, but it's not worth the stress every month.
Don't bother dating jews.
Always wash your hands after.


Thats all I can think of.

Don't fucking do it! Then I'd elbow the bitch in the face, twice, no... make that FOUR times harder than I did. :)

"Give her one for me, dude!"

Horatio is such a dream :o

Nah Grissom FTW!

If i were female I'd do him in a heartbeat.

You say that like it is a bad thing? (I'm thinking about your other thread...)

hmmm

Tell her you're allergic to straw.

Stop letting your mom buy your underwear.

Try harder to be better at it so she doesn't fall asleep.

Oh and even a girl whose knees are pen pals can be shocked by an attempt at anal sex on the first date.

You say that like it is a bad thing? (I'm thinking about your other thread...)

That post is totally irrelevant to my thread. :D

Oh and even a girl whose knees are pen pals can be shocked by an attempt at anal sex on the first date.

Brilliant.

More foreplay or you'll never be able to get it in. Oh, and trim your fingernails asshole.

Two words...Human Beatbox!

THERES NO SUCH THING AS JUST FRIENDS DUMB ASS SHE WANTS YOUR COCK PUT IT IN HER MOUTH!!!!!!!!
When a girl says dont tell anyone DONT TELL dumb ass shes not going to let you do it again and that sucks because it was good shit.
One night stands are NOT FUCKING WORTH it, you ruined fucking 2 years for a one night stand when you broke up dont fucking do it dumb ass
KEEP doing everything you think your supposed to do that shit works

dont be silly wrap your willy

"when women pass out from too much drink it takes an earthquake to wake them up and even then it takes at least a minuet for them to come to their senses"

I love you.

"A little lower... right there!"

" CALM THE FUCK DOWN" I was so nervous my first time i didn't even get my rocks off :( Although my gf seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.

I think I'll go to the beach and chase some tail (pun intended:D)



---------
Proud Delphinic ζoophile-3 years running

Get a fucking blanket or something so that you don't scar your elbows for the following month.

Dont bother hiding your plastic lightsabers before she comes over.

I'd rape myself in order to create a continuity error.

Two words...Human Beatbox!

I laughed so hard I teared up a bit.. hahaha. That was genius.

I need a smoke to calm down haha.

She's not gonna get pregnant. The sex is going to be really disappointing (in fact, you'll never cum while fucking her). Fuck her a couple times and don't get as attached as you're going to. Breakups suck.

Edit: Ask for whatever you want. You can probably get her to take it in the ass.

"just because she moans doesn't mean she came..and a girl can't come 29 time in a night."

"maybe i really shouldn't do this"

She's not really that great and sleep is important.

YOYOBEK - YOU NEVER MADE THE POLL ABOUT SEMEN. DO IT NOW!

"No, wait until the next girl!"

Fuck her for longer than half a minute.
And learn how to put a fcuking condom on, 3rd time isnt the charm, its bloody embarassing.

I would scream "FOREPLAY!"

"don't do it."

or "that's not his hand down there..."

And learn how to put a fcuking condom on, 3rd time isnt the charm, its bloody embarassing.

I lol'ed pretty hard. Been there before

I would say "don't think you're a nonstop pumping machine, you were just drunk". Oh hang on, that's after the first time I had sex.

Before the first time I would say "wear a condom because you're about to get chlamydia"

Your life seems to suck.

Don't ask "what is that smell?" when she takes her pants off.

No, thats one question you absolutely have to ask.

If you can smell it before you touch her, get the fuck out of there. She may have an STD, she may not. But either way, that smell doesnt wash off for days.

Nah Grissom FTW!

If i were female I'd do him in a heartbeat.

I'm a female and I'd do Grissom :)
My ex made fun of me for it though .

OH FUCKING YES. i DID THIS AND FREAKED OUT FOR WEEKS.

I wouldn't go back. I had a really really good first time. and I'm glad. I'm still with the same guy too.

I wouldn't go back. because i didn't learn a thing. not a god damn thing. still make the same stupid mistakes i was making five years ago and guess what. Still lovin' it.

Would have told myself to run the fuck away.

lol, all the guys are about "go doggy"
where as all the girls are "stay home, dont do it"