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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
# 1
2007-07-28, 22:09
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Regular
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In my Kingdom Cold
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Holy War! Take your pick...
Round 1: Yahweh v. Thor
Moses v. Vishnu
Jesus v. Mithra
Muhammed v. Joseph Smith
Ares v. Abraham
Aphrodite v. Virgin Mary
Cain and Abel v. Mayan Hero Twins Xbalanque and Hunahpu
Xenu v. Cthulhu
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# 2
2007-07-28, 22:24
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
they all die and CHAOS returns to the universe 
but its hands down that cuthulu beat the living shit out of xenu. but why did you pair those 2 |
# 3
2007-07-28, 22:30
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Regular
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New Orleans
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
I got Muhammed to beat Joseph Smith.
Muhammed's fire powers > Joseph Smith's ice powers
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# 4
2007-07-28, 23:43
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
If you're using humour to make a serious point I'm afraid I missed it.
If you were then please explain it in words of two syllables of less for the mods among us.
Thanks.
__________________
Eoghan, Samwise gamgee. The truth is out there, people.
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# 5
2007-07-29, 00:19
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Regular
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In my Kingdom Cold
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackketch
If you're using humour to make a serious point I'm afraid I missed it.
If you were then please explain it in words of two syllables of less for the mods among us.
Thanks.
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Just comparing the physical strength of prophets and gods. Boredom kills brain cells I suppose.
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#6
2007-07-29, 00:24 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Just comparing the physical strength of prophets and gods. Boredom kills brain cells I suppose.
hmmm Mohammed's scimitar versus Joseph Smith's Colt 45....
Not much of a contest. Especially as according to Mormon myth anyone trying behead their prophet got a divine lightening bolt up his arse.
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#7
2007-07-29, 05:22 |
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Regular
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Napier, New Zealand
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
I don't think anyone stands a chance against Thor's Mjolnir.
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# 8
2007-07-29, 21:58
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
Originally Posted by shitty wok
Round 1: Yahweh v. Thor
Moses v. Vishnu
Jesus v. Mithra
Muhammed v. Joseph Smith
Ares v. Abraham
Aphrodite v. Virgin Mary
Cain and Abel v. Mayan Hero Twins Xbalanque and Hunahpu
Xenu v. Cthulhu
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Thor
Vishnu (But I don't understand how these two compare)
Jesus vs. Mithra (Too close to call since they are nearly identical)
Muhammed (Had an army of followers vs. a colt .45 and some gullible settlers)
Ares
Aphrodite (god vs. mortal? come on)
Xbalanque and Hunahpu (Their story is more interesting)
Cthulhu
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# 9
2007-07-30, 02:33
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
but im still confused why he paired xenu and cthulu i mean they are both aliens but cthulu is an immortal mountain sized octupus that cannot die with an army of icky green aliens (the mi-go) on his side, i think cthulu could beat any of them gods
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#10
2007-07-30, 02:35 |
evilman 
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by MilkAndInnards
I don't think anyone stands a chance against Thor's Mjolnir.
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cthulu would swallow him whole, it wouldnt matter if he lived he'd be stuck inside cthulu for the rest of time |
# 11
2007-07-30, 03:01
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Regular
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In my Kingdom Cold
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
Originally Posted by karma_sleeper
Thor
Vishnu (But I don't understand how these two compare)
Jesus vs. Mithra (Too close to call since they are nearly identical)
Muhammed (Had an army of followers vs. a colt .45 and some gullible settlers)
Ares
Aphrodite (god vs. mortal? come on)
Xbalanque and Hunahpu (Their story is more interesting)
Cthulhu
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Your right!
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#12
2007-07-30, 06:38 |
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Regular
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Napier, New Zealand
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
cthulu would swallow him whole, it wouldnt matter if he lived he'd be stuck inside cthulu for the rest of time
Clearly you don't know the awesome capabilities of Thors hammer, or his strength. I mean, If he can kill a serpent that can wrap itself around the world and bite its tail, a mountain sized octopus shouldn't be any worry. And if it can't be killed, he will have to get the other gods, and once again get the dwarfs to make a magical cloth that will bound the great beast. (I'm referring to Fenrir)
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#13
2007-07-30, 12:22 |
evilman
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
obviously you do not know the power of cthulu he is taller than the tallest mountains COMPLETELY immortal and he devoured the entire city of atlantis even if thor bound him with some cloth he would live on forever until he could get out. and thats just if the mi-go a highly intelligent race far greater in number then humans that are currently breeding more beings such as cthulu as well as the old ones (which are immortal half humans that have lived on earth since the dawn of time) thor is not even immortal and even if cthulu is bound forever and all his followers as well he will be freed when fenrir finaly grows so large his lower jaw touches the earth while his upper jaw reaches the sky (it is inevitable that fenrir will rise again and kill all the "good" norse gods leaving him and his brothers to rule forever with loki and hel)
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# 14
2007-07-30, 17:56
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
Originally Posted by shitty wok
Your right!
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Do I win a prize?
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# 15
2007-07-30, 18:30
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Regular
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In my Kingdom Cold
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
Originally Posted by karma_sleeper
Do I win a prize?
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do you ever..... 
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#16
2007-07-30, 19:44 |
Muhammad
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Joseph Smith is just a control freak, he is no god.
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#17
2007-07-30, 20:42 |
shitty wok
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Muhammad
Joseph Smith is just a control freak, he is no god.
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Then get in there and whoop his ass! |
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#18
2007-08-13, 04:49 |
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Cthulhu could take them all on at the same time, and still kick ass.
In fact, Cthulhu is my God
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#19
2007-08-13, 18:50 |
evilman
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
cuthulu does kick ass but hes not my god:(
id love to speak to someone who religously follows the cthulu mythos
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#20
2007-08-13, 21:43 |
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by evilman
cuthulu does kick ass but hes not my god:(
id love to speak to someone who religously follows the cthulu mythos
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That's what i want to do. I've read "call of cthulhu" and loved it. |
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#21
2007-08-14, 21:58 |
r3vVy
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Ragnarok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#22
2007-08-14, 21:58 |
BlackEagle67
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
I recently got an email from the "leader" of the Cthulu Cult. The email was sent directly to me, and no one else. He even talked like he already knew me...freaked me out.
I guess I'll look into it. And if anyone wants a link just tell me and I'll edit it in.
....ilikedots....
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#23
2007-08-14, 22:22 |
bain surgeon
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Wheres the flying spaghetti monster Vs. Zeus?
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#24
2007-08-14, 22:24 |
BlackEagle67
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
I think my cat would win...hes a ferocious little pussy...
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#25
2007-08-14, 22:39 |
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
mmmm....I'm gonna have to go with God.
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#26
2007-08-17, 01:19 |
evilman
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Obbe
mmmm....I'm gonna have to go with God.
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nominated for gayest reply of the moment |
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#27
2007-08-17, 20:43 |
shitty wok
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
nominated for gayest reply of the moment
haha damn right.
Round 2:
Thor / Vishnu
Mithra / Muhammed
Ares / Aphrodite
Xbalanque and Hunahpu* / Cthulhu
*don't cancel these guys out immediately, they can survive dismemberment
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#28
2007-08-17, 21:02 |
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
You guys who picked Thor over IHVH are morons. IHVH has the power to smite and forge souls on whim...on top of that, with omniscience and omnipotence he knows Thor's moves before they come AND has unlimited power. Mjolnir and the dwarves are no fucking assets going up against the supreme ruler of all that exists.
Anthropomorphic beings < divine beings < supreme beings
Step co'rekt.
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#29
2007-08-17, 21:40 |
shitty wok
Regular
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Re: Holy War! Take your pick...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hexadecimal
You guys who picked Thor over IHVH are morons. IHVH has the power to smite and forge souls on whim...on top of that, with omniscience and omnipotence he knows Thor's moves before they come AND has unlimited power. Mjolnir and the dwarves are no fucking assets going up against the supreme ruler of all that exists.
Anthropomorphic beings < divine beings < supreme beings
Step co'rekt.
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Allah doesn't have a giant hammer, moron. |
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