This is....the worst thing....ever to happen to me.

What you are reading is 100% true.

Ok, So im not religous. And deffinantly not christian or whatever, so if you can guess my penis is not circumsiezed. And i masturbait once every 2 or 4 days.

Now, today My mom told me she was going to a book sale in town at the library she does charity cervices at. And my dad, being a traveling ceo and sales rep is out of town till next week. I decided this would be the best time to masturbait.

What i inferred from my mother was that she was leaving immedeatly. So i go into my room, fire up limewire, and start looking at porn.

Push comes to shove and im done...

Heres where the non circumsiezed part comes in. (no pun intended). When im ready to blow my load i can hold it inside my dick by literally holding the end of my penis shut. i know it seems far fetched but go fill a bag full of syrup, hold the end shut and tip it upside down. I was running to the bathroom with my cock hard and literally full of sperm when my mom walks in front of me.

The awkward silence that filled the air was like mustard gas. My mom looks at my pantless self and i immideatly let go of my dick. (im gonna puke) and i let my pre exploaded load go all over the floor...in front of my mom.

she let out a wimper and turned the corner but not befor i could sprint. And i tell you, sprint into my room. this is where i am now. I dont know if ill ever face my mom again.

If i dont post for awhile youll know what happened.....

Hahahahahahahahahaahahaha

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... Oh my freakin' god that's terrible lol. Good luck man, you may need it.

Serves you right. If you can't spell it , you shouldn't be doing it.


:P

How was it for your mum? ;)

I remember almost this exact same post. A few details were changed, but jeez....

You phail, puny acolyte

EDIT: New arrival, even worse. BTW, this is not a coincidence. I even remember the part where he said that if he doesn't come out of his him, you know what happened.

this is a repost, in fact a possible copy/paste of an old ass thread



FAIL.


go away

Old thread, but still funny.

I dont get it, dont people forward plan even a tiny bit? I mean, why couldnt you have grabbed some toilet roll and taken it to your room *before* starting the wankage?


People..

Rule # 1...Always, ALWAYS, check if the house is empty!

Rule # 2 Keep a sock or wear "layered" pants in case, so if you have to splooge, with parents nearby, it's in your pants/sock

Rule #3 Never sprint, it makes unnecessary noise and people downstairs will notice.

Just once I'd like to see someone running down their stairs, butt naked about to blow their load, trip, and kill themselves.

That would be an awkward sight for your parents to find you in.

You're dead, at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on your penis, cum everywhere. It'd be a bitch to write up that police report.

I like how my rep is powerful enough to knock people right down into the red for plagiarising.

if only he splattered a tiny bit on his mom, that would seriously fuck everything up. not that this is much better...

I agree.

What the hell is up with your spelling man? I'm surprised any of your porn searches came up--what with you probably misspelling or misnaming things.

Sheesh

Bahahahahahahahahaaaaaahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha hahaahahahahhaahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahaahahhaahhaahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahaha

Haha

Owned

k.

Just once I'd like to see someone running down their stairs, butt naked about to blow their load, trip, and kill themselves.

That would be an awkward sight for your parents to find you in.

You're dead, at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on your penis, cum everywhere. It'd be a bitch to write up that police report..

LMAO

I'm pretty sure most guys do this. Or, at least take a break to get some.

But yeah,

OLD.

OMFG LMFAO!,that is the utterly the most humiliating and embarassing story I have ever heard,I laughed even harder when u said u busted your load right in front of her,dude couldnt u have just held it in a little longer and run by your mom,jeez I cant believe what I'm hearing,busting your load just topped everything off,man,I cant think of anything to compare to your extremely embarassing yet hilarious story,I really like to know how this turns out.

That's retarded. Why would you blow your load and then leave it in your dick? Ever think that that might be a tad unhealthy or stupid?

there's the weak point in your argument...right there.

OP:

That's nothing, the exact same thing happened with my mate...

But over a KEY BOARD!