or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

Hey S&A, I'm looking for your opinions on this girl who seems to be screwing with me.

I took this girl out a few weeks ago, and as far as I could tell she had a good time. We planned go out again to see some bands play the next week, I figured all was well. So I sent her a message a few hours before we were supposed to go out, basically I'm ready to go when you are. I get a text back "I'm so sorry, i had to leave work early because i have a muscle spasm in my neck, want to try tomorrow?" So I went along with it, planned for a different time tomorrow and she said she'd message me. Well, next day I hear nothing, so I text her later "well I didn't hear from you, so maybe another time. btw Chris and DJ are throwing a little party at my old house and you're welcome to come by"

So by now I figure hey, she's not into me, move on. I'd actually known this girl for a while but not very well, she'd occasionally come out with us on weekends but hadn't been out recently.

I don't hear from her for three weeks when I get a text message from her at 9:00am this morning "Hi i'm really sorry it has taken so long to get back in touch with you. I was really sick the last time we were supposed to get together. Things have just been crazy since then. If you want to go out next week, i have time. I hope all is well with you! Ttyl!"

What the fuck, eh? 20 days. I'm not sure if she's looking for pity because another guy screwed her over, maybe it's attention she wants. I'm flying back to college in two weeks and don't expect anything with her anyway, I just want to figure out what she's trying to pull.

You might have to cut me some slack here, for all I know girls might pull this shit all the time! This particular one isn't exactly bright either, and I still haven't messaged or called back. Any ideas?

well if you are leaving in a couple days, might aswell try and see what shes up to. it can never hurt to know a little more about how people behave.

I'd maybe give her one more shot. I'll admit it, I've pulled the same shit with guys who are into me, but I can't bring myself to reject them out right. But on the other hand, she could be telling the truth and things actually were crazy so she didn't have time to get in touch with you. If she bails again, then it's probably safe to say she's just making excuses.

aren't text messages stupid? It isn't even Borderline communication. If you talked to her on the phone you'd know if she was sick or not or if she was at work. IMO text messages should only be used if you're in a POW type scenario and you need to get ahold of someone as quickly and stealthily as possible only using a few words.

It sounds like she didnt want you, tried to get with another guy, got fucked and then shot down horribly and now seeks you to soothe her broken ego.


Bitch.


But, maybe she seriously does like you, you know?
I guess you wont know untill you have a chat with her, and hang out.

If you can get to hang out with her and she doesent cancel on you (if she does she's worthless) chances are she'll spill her guts on you about everything.

Good luck. Oo

Its ridiculously hard to try and decipher someones intentions and feelings based on a few lines of a text message. Don't put yourself through it, there is no good result. You really grow to appreciate the non-verbal side of language when you find yourself in a few situations, frustrated out of your mind trying to work out shit like this.

Just go along with it and organise a date, I'm sure in person you'll be able to tell whether shes interested or not. You won't have the ease of pace and lack of pressure that a text message affords, but you'll be able to read how she responds IRL rather than trying to imagine how shes reacting to you.

Don't put too much effort into this one mate.

She doesn't seem to actually want you but she's gonna keep you hangin' just so when she decides she wants to go out, she'll be like "Let's go out...Whaddya mean no?...I thought you liked me...You kept telling me we were gonna go out!"

I've been here before.

If you can get some from her, do it.
If it becomes too much though, just go do something else.

If she really cared, it doesn't matter how fucking busy she was, she would have been able to give you one lousy txt or short phone call before 20 days. If I were you, I would invite her somewhere and stand her up, but hey, that's just how I roll.

Well thanks for the advice guys. I ended up just telling her "sure, I'm here for two more weeks," so the next move is hers. I'm thinking hey, I've got nothing to lose, and there's other girls. As much as I'd like to tell her to screw off, I'd rather figure out why she was pulling that shit.

And yoyobek, that probably is what happened, and I'll admit, I'm not exactly looking for a relationship. I'll update if/when I talk to her again.

getoffmylawn, I agree with you but some people insist on using SMS. Sometimes it wins out over practicality.

Hah, that was option number two bro. I was so close to doing that before I realized that I would in effect be bringing myself to her level.

Hah, that was option number two bro. I was so close to doing that before I realized that I would in effect be bringing myself to her level.

Yes, it would be sinking down a few levels I suppose. However, you can justify it by showing her some of her own medicine. It might give her an epiphany. Who knows? She might become a volunteer or charity worker!

/delusion

Maybe she didn't have any phone credit? Maybe she didn't want to message you when she knew she was busy for two weeks and would just have to say no if you asked her out? Maybe shes one of those really home-ey girls who hardly ever leave the house, or maybe she had no money?

There ARE legitimate reasons out there. I say go out with her again, see what happens. If you do and theres nothing there, what have you lost? $30 (or whatever it costs you, I dunno). But what if she was telling the truth, and she liked you but you were too wrapped up in what could have or might have happened with her and some hypothetical dude.

I know if that happened to me, -I'd- be spewin. What have you got to lose?