If you're like me, which you are, you often look at groups of teenage girls and wonder, silently or aloud, why on earth such an ugly fat wolfdog monster is hanging around a half dozen babes all the time. Or, alternatively, why a perfect piece of eye-candy is central to a group of sea cows.

Well wonder no more.

I've figured it out.

You see, in every clique, each girl has roughly the same "score" as all the other girls.

Allow me to explain.

Lets say each girl has a maximum of ten points available to her.

Why ten?

Be-fucking-cause.

5 of those points come from her personality.

And 5 come from her appearance and weight.

Because everybody who's anybody knows that, in girls, especially teenage girls, appearance and weight carry the same importance as personality.

Really, the split should be more like 8 points attractiveness 2 points personality for a teenage girl.

But I digress.

We'll start with the ten point clique. These are the perfect ones. The ones with great bodies, nice faces, no toes longer than the big toe, and wonderful, interesting personalities.

They all get 5 points in both categories. Sure, one might only be a 9, but everybody who's anybody knows that teenage girls aren't an exact science.

Looking for some long-term eye candy? The ten point clique is your hunting ground. Too bad most of them are already taken. And you know they'd never cheat, because they just wouldn't do that. Ever.

Now, lets look at a possible 7 point clique with, say, 5 members. 4 of them weigh close to 250 pounds. They get 1 point for looks (you can't get zero points in a category you moron, you get one just for participating).

The fifth, however, is a stunning blond, 36-24-26, wearing a mini-skirt and a halter top. She is easily a 5 out of 5 in the looks department. If the system had extra credit (which is doesn't so eat shit and die you skeez) she'd get all of it.

But, since girl cliques always equal out, she's got a horrible personality. Maybe all she talks about is shoes, and how they look on her perfectly toed feet. Or maybe she thinks the sun and the moon are the same person. Or maybe she's so cripplingly shy that she has trouble leaving the house. Or maybe there's a 4 hour long video floating around the internet of 50 guys running the train on her. Or maybe she's really, really into Dave Matthews.

Regardless, she only gets 1 personality point. She's even with the rest of her clique.

And also regardless, she's super easy to sleep with. Perfect for one night stands. Smokin hot to brag to your friends about, and being around her gang of rhino's all the time has given her the self esteem of a jar of mayonnaise.

Not surprisingly, this class of wench is prone to eating disorders. Don't be surprised when she runs to the bathroom run puke up the load she just swallowed.

Conversely, an uggo with a perfect personality is one you should marry. Awesome enough to live with forever, and you know she'll never cheat on you because, frankly, she's a damn troll.

And the cliques who score in the middle in both categories, well they're just largely unimpressive and ignored. I guess you can steal shit from them, since nobody gives enough shit to try and stop you.

Think about it. Think about the cliques in your high school. The cool hot girls stuck together. The bitchy hot girls stuck together. The ugly girls who would always give you a cookie at lunch and got along with everyong, they all stuck together. While there are always a few exceptions, the rule is true the vast majority of the time.

The leader of the clique is often a big exception. The leader of the 10 point clique is usually an uber-bitch, for example, scoring only a 1 or 2 on the personality side.

Think about the 2 point clique in your school. Mine was the anime chicks. Barf.

You won't get it if you're a dude who's too fat or ugly. Or you're an anime dude. Or the smelly kid. Doesn't matter, even the nice chicks, ugly or hot not withstanding, are mean to you then.

You'll probably try to deny it, but we all know.

The rare few teenage females, I call them "floater chicks," will also not understand what I am trying to open your eyes to. These are the lucky few that, regardless of score, manage to be a part of multiple cliques. However, they usually have many sort of friends and very few very close friends (those few close friends will be other floater chicks). It's kind of like standing on the plate at the corners of the four states. You're in 4, but only a little bit in each one.

Sooo... yes. This is all true.

Yeah, that's a pretty good generalization of teenage girls. But it's not like in real life you judge people based on the clique they're in.

"Well, she's in a 4 clique and her looks score a 3 out of 5. That must mean that she has a 1 personality score" /nerdy voice.

It'd do you more good to just rate every person individually and then just leave it at that.

I wouldn't know about personality, they don't say much when their mouth is full of cock.

........you my friend are GOD!!!! Every single category you described i've seen, even slept with the hot chick with fat friends. I bow to the master

The hell? That hurt my head.

Girls are evil, and don't ever forget that. For a girl, it makes perfect sense to hate other girls if they are prettier than you, so they hide with girls they think are uglier so they think they have a leg up.

To paraphrase Gandalf "Do not interfere in the affairs of females, because they are subtle and really annoying when they nag"

Well said

Oh FUCK man, you've got it!

Interestingly enough.. most people are born with feet where the big toe is not the most forward on the foot - infants feet are natural, and as they begin to wear shoes, they take on a different shape.
If you look at old statues, the second toe is either longer or about as long as the big toe. I just find it curious how we undergo such modification without noticing.

+1 for you. Any Tolkien quote fitted into S&A is gold!! >.<

I was in a pretty intense girl clique in middle school. Your theory sounds alright but way too complicated. It's just "queen bee" and her little workers. That's it. And the rating should always, always remain at the standard 1-10, with nothing having to do with personality. Most mean-girl cliques are going to be bitches with hot bodies. Period.

Errrm, to some extent, yes.

Sociologically, girls that are better looking tend to view that as their strength.

Girls that aren't that good looking tend to turn to knowledge and such, and view that as their strength.

Girls that have neither, they tend to try to make themselves "prettier".

Of course, there are those that have both intellect and looks.

That's really very funny, and probably true. I've always figured that personality is inversely proportional to looks. Most extremely attractive females have never had to develop much of a personality. This probably applies to males, too. I know two dwarfs, one male and one female. They both have great personalities.

You actually think highschool and the people in it are important enough to mention? hahahahaah

If you are in highschool. You obvously score 0 in both categories.

"no you don't, you get 1 point in each category for participating! didn't you read OP? like oh my god!" /annoying preppy girl voice

Do German HS girls say, "Oh mein gott" or do they use the english?

Fettes Brot say "oh mein gott".

This does not answer your question.

bump.

well your wrong on every level. I'm not the man to correct you though I just know you're wrong because you didn't write a fucking book documenting it.

Smokin hot to brag to your friends about, and being around her gang of rhino's all the time has given her the self esteem of a jar of mayonnaise.

Sir, you seriously underestimate the power of mayonnaise.

Edited.

To paraphrase Gandalf "Do not interfere in the affairs of females, because they are subtle and really annoying when they're on the rag"

man youre thinking way too hard..

True exceptions to the rule are Ugly Ducklings.

They're hot, hang out with hot chicks, they're nice, and really good personalities, but easily attainable. Why? Because they were ugly as a kid and have that mind set still, that they're ugly. They hang out with hot chicks, who she looks just like, but she has the confidence of a chubzor.

QFT. That's smart I never thought o that. I'm gonna look on facebook for every girl I went to elementary/junior high with to see if they've improved. If they've caught up to my attractiveness level that's good because they may not know all the terrible things I've done.

hmm....let's look atr that/