Some visuals for you:

Jack , a 6ft flabby, brown toothed, almost 40 year old skinhead is stripping wallpaper with a steam gun. BBC Radio 4 is on (sorry Radio One just gives me a migrane and Radio Norfolk is for rabbit breeders and tractor fanboyz).

The report on the radio is about western couples adopting chinese babies.

The longing and love in the new parents voices has reduced me to tears.

Me.

Normally it takes a lot to make me blub.


Anyway, why on Earth do our governments make it sooo hard for people to adopt? I can have as many children as i want and the government will even pay me to do so but no adoption agency on earth would grant us a child.

Hell we couldn't even get a dog from a recue agency (we tried).

Surely any parent is better than none at all? As long as they aren't abusing the adopted child then what does it matter if they have a garden and good income?

Hell some of the best parents I've know have been underage single moms on council estates whose diet consists of cheap beer and freak sperm (although I'll admit they are exceptions to the rule).

It's stupid. I've contemplated adopting for a long time, whether or not I have children of my own in the future. There are plenty of kids out there who need loving homes - I even saw a short bbc program featuring Sharon Osbourne's concerned plastic face telling people to adopt adopt adopt, do it for the children etc. I suppose it's easier for celebrities and rich people though, I've heard that it's a long and tiring process, and it's easy to be ineligible.

I agree with you on the idea that any parent is better then no parent (cept for abuse, etc).

It bought you to tears though? You dont seem like the kinda guy who crys


EDIT: Ironically I just walked out of the room, and on the tv they are argueing as to whether it is ok for past addicted drug users to have/adopt children.

Adopting a baby that looks distinctly different to you is fucked up IMO.

I agree with you on the idea that any parent is better then no parent (cept for abuse, etc).

It bought you to tears though? You dont seem like the kinda guy who crys

.

I'm not normally, but I'm under a hella stress at the moment...things are real bad at Chez Ketch and I'm probably just a bit 'delicate' right now.

EDIT: Ironically I just walked out of the room, and on the tv they are argueing as to whether it is ok for past addicted drug users to have/adopt children.

I imagine that one would begin with "I've got no money but I have something you can have in return..."

I've been told that there aren't ENOUGH babies here to adopt.
Which I can't believe.
There is, although, far too many CHILDREN in our system waiting to be taken into homes.

No body wants a child, they want a baby - makes it more of 'there own'.

I have no idea why the laws are so strict there, I'm sure they're fairly strict here as well - but I don't see there being a problem in adopting from 'elsewhere' - although I do reconise it's a shame that they cannot/find it difficult in their own country.


Adoption is a tricky thing, how do you determine a good parent?

Well...I guess it's always going to be more fun to whip a baby up right from snatch. People mostly want perfect babies with no obvious defects. The developed world is full of folks who are a-dull-ts & have one or even none in the kid department.

I think the Euro countries/NorAm/AusNZ/Japan all have a shortage of new births & talk of a need for immigration to keep the jobs filled & taxes payed.

Though I hear Eastern European babies aren't always healthy. Chinese parents are always trying to get rid of excess girls, even though this has left Chinese men way short of same age females.

I hear it's possible to buy a tribal girl from Thailand for $700 US in Japan.

Adoption is a tricky thing, how do you determine a good parent?

True, so the only way to really do it is to just accept anyone who isn't obviously mentally unstable/ a known paedophile/drug addicted etc (although I've known junkies and people who were so far over the madness horizon as to be on a different planet, be excellent parents).

Even the paedophile thing shouldn't really be a barrier to adopting kids...not automatically at least. For example, a paedo who is fixated on little girls might still make an excellent father to a boy.

And what is abuse? Even that is tricky beyond the obvious sticking bits of parental body into the child's body.

Lets not forget nearly all our parents/grandparents would be classed as child abusers these days and have their kids taken from them.

Hell back when I went to secondary school (age 11-16) boys and girls were still caned/paddled. And most were 'beaten' at home too and allowed almost no 'personal freedom' as kids these days have. (I know the US still allows some forms of coporal punishment but here Euro land its streng verboten and an imprisonable offence most places)

It's the same with animals. There are loads of old decrepid ones that no-one wants to take on because of the scary vet bills and the thought you're going to welcome this drooling incontinent stranger into your home for it to die on you three weeks later.
Everyone seems to want kittens,babies,puppies,piglets, and so on.



I kind of feel that it's a good thing that with adopting anything, human or animal, that a degree of difficulty and alot of paper work is required.
If they make thorough checks, they know for sure that the family is suitable, can afford the adoptee, and arent just planning on selling it/it's organs on ebay/the black market.


But it sometimes gets ridiculous.

I'm in a studio appartment. I'm earning a shit wage in a job I'm slowly getting shoved out of (obviously they're planning on feeding the chef meth so he can do the cooking, watch the grill, prepare mains,salads,entrees AND desserts and still do the cleaning at the end of the night). I'm officially fucking broke, living hand to mouth, and the only luxury item I can afford or have is the internet.
Yet if I wanted to adopt a kid, the government would be like "YES!! Take three! And here's £730 a week to feed it!!"


Yet my mum, in her 60s, with her own house (free of mortgage) working one night a week and earning £180 in one 12 hour night shift (bitch), who's comfortably well off with no money troubles at all and a comfortable living environment, somehow isnt allowed to addopt.


There's something severely fucking wrong with this country when young unreliable broke people can adopt but well off older people cant.

Maybe you're mixing up 'fostering' (which would bring in that kind of money) and adoption as you probably wouldn't be allowed to adopt even one child. They'd consider you too young, and not being married or in a longterm relationship (10 years+ kinda thing). Nor do you a have garden and your income is too low blah blah but yes your point about your mum is right. Alone her age would disqualify her, which i agree is insane.


Point is you could drop as many sprogs as you want and THAT the government will happily finance.

Maybe you're mixing up 'fostering' (which would bring in that kind of money) and adoption as you probably wouldn't be allowed to adopt even one child. They'd consider you too young, and not being married or in a longterm relationship (10 years+ kinda thing). Nor do you a have garden and your income is too low blah blah but yes your point about your mum is right. Alone her age would disqualify her, which i agree is insane.


I didnt know there was a difference between the two, but yes, I'm probably getting them confused.


You know what's really sick?
I was looking in the job paper the other day, and there was a full page advertisment about fostering kids.
Of course, the words "get up to £600 per week for each child" were highlighted.

I feel really queesy that such an advertisment was in a fucking job paper, and that they're using money as a method of appealing to the greed in people and get them to consider fostering for a nice wad of cash each week.

Here in the US it costs about $20,000 to adopt a white newborn, which is the kind of child most adoptive parents want. My sister and her husband looked into it, but they just didn't have the money. Also, the waiting list is at least a year long.

My parents wanted to adopt a vietnamese baby years ago, because my mom thought she couldn't have any more kids after my sister. She had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years and she was 32 years old at the time. She and my dad had a lot of money even back then and they STILL got turned down by the adoption people because they already had a child and my dad was over the preferable age limit.(he was 41 at the time) Luckily, my mom got pregnant again, but many women aren't so lucky.

In the US, the govornment doesn't give people money to have kids...They do in England? I mean if they're your own kids and not foster children?

No not to have kids directly but having kids brings in money if you know what you're doing.

For example Child Benefit which for 3 kids (i know) is about $320 a month . Ok that isn't much but there's a lot of other stuff too.For example the 'tax credit' (another benefit not to be confused with a tax 'break' ) is for 3 kids $1700 a month.

Not wanting to get into the abortion debate but abortion alone is costing Europe a couple of million future tax payers a year and the birth rates keep declining. So the governments here need people to have kiddies.

There is, although, far too many CHILDREN in our system waiting to be taken into homes.

No body wants a child, they want a baby - makes it more of 'there own'.

QFT. Decent parents should be able to get past that though.

What bugs me even more, is Americans that won't adopt American babies or children. What, they aren't fucking good enough or something, they have to adopt the demonseed from a foreign nation? I can't wait for the rapture, fuck humanity. No sense of loyalty or decency anymore.

Fuck Angelina Jolie, if I ever meet her I'll spit on her.

I didnt know there was a difference between the two, but yes, I'm probably getting them confused.


You know what's really sick?
I was looking in the job paper the other day, and there was a full page advertisment about fostering kids.
Of course, the words "get up to £600 per week for each child" were highlighted.

I feel really queesy that such an advertisment was in a fucking job paper, and that they're using money as a method of appealing to the greed in people and get them to consider fostering for a nice wad of cash each week.

That is a very worrying although foster parents are very tightly controlled by

http://www.ne.jp/asahi/abyu/abe/sig.jpgOCIAL

http://www.ne.jp/asahi/abyu/abe/sig.jpgERVICES

CHINESE BABY LIKE JELLO!!!!!!!!


It's pretty easy to adopt in Canada I think. I know a couple families that've got some sweatshop rats.

No not to have kids directly but having kids brings in money if you know what you're doing.

For example Child Benefit which for 3 kids (i know) is about $320 a month . Ok that isn't much but there's a lot of other stuff too.For example the 'tax credit' (another benefit not to be confused with a tax 'break' ) is for 3 kids $1700 a month.

Not wanting to get into the abortion debate but abortion alone is costing Europe a couple of million future tax payers a year and the birth rates keep declining. So the governments here need people to have kiddies.

So is "child benefit" like welfare? And what do you mean "tax credit?" Do you mean you get $20,400 back at the end of the year? Does everyone with kids in England get that money or is it just people below a certain income level?

So is "child benefit" like welfare? And what do you mean "tax credit?" Do you mean you get $20,400 back at the end of the year? Does everyone with kids in England get that money or is it just people below a certain income level?

No, Tax Credit is a state benefit. Tax return is something else.

Every parent in GB gets Child Benefit, regardless of income (I think-might have changed).

Tax Credit is a benefit to boost the income of poorer families ,its dependant on income and is means tested. Not sure what the income barrier is but anyone on minimum wage or below will certainly qualify.

It's VERY different here in the USA. Families who get govornment assistance are looked down upon and considered lazy and trashy by most people. Also, you have to be extremely poor to qualify for any kind of welfare and if you get it, people treat you like dirt. I actually applied for food stamps after my husband got out of jail, because the military had him on "prisoners pay" which was about $750 per month less than his regular pay. This was back when he was still enlisted, BTW, so it's not like he normally was making the big bucks even without the pay cut! We'd lost all of our savings during the whole fiasco and to top it all off, I cracked a tooth like the day I got back home and it was going to cost me $800 to get it fixed! Anyway, I was so offended by how rude the social services people were to me that I got up and walked out halfway through my interview. THEN about a month l;ater they called me and told me I qualified for the food stamps after all. I told them I didn't want their money because it came at too heavy a price...My personal dignity.:P The lady called me like 3 times after that...It was like she just couldn't believe I was really turning down the money! My pride, though...It's one of my worst faults.

my aunt-ish adopted, they fostered the girl from birth for two years AND she was a mixed race kid and they're a mixed race couple which they are really keen to get, it took them another two years to adopt. so now they're not going to boter ever again. they have another girl the same age who they've had since she was a few montns and will probabl have for the rest of her life, but adopting is too much hassle.
and oh everyone thinks the two girls are twins an they just say yes even though they're from totally different parents (:

I am with you all the way.

Whenever Madonna or Angelina Jolie etc. adopt a child, I do not necessarily praise the parent because we all are aware there may be ulterior motives at hand but I feel happy for the child.

Now others may criticize them for whatever reason, but those children who may have been living in poverty now have a chance to live a better life and want for nothing. At worst they may not suit the lifestyle that will be set out for them but at least - they will be safe and healthy.

My only thing with adoption is that I fear for abuse.. I know there may have only been the odd case of adoption or fostering gone wrong over the years in comparison to how many tales worked out, but it still makes me wonder.

My only thing with adoption is that I fear for abuse.. I know there may have only been the odd case of adoption or fostering gone wrong over the years in comparison to how many tales worked out, but it still makes me wonder.

It is a worry but then again The State makes the worst parent of all.

Anyway, people abuse their biological children all of the time and nobody does anything! It seems crazy that they're so freaked out about it happening to adopted kids.

I can understand though, why they have such tough laws on adoption - imagine the scandals and the press social services would get if they were to give a child to an abusive home? The mother of the child has given that baby into the care of others in hope that it will recieve a better life then what the birth parent(s) could give it (this includes remember, income of the family - a lot of women give up their children because they can't finacialy support them - and then for the child to be put in almost the exact same circumstance? not a good idea). The last thing you're going to want it to find out your child was put into a home and abused/unloved/low income - wouldn't that make the guilt (of giving up a child) so much more terrible?

They could be communist spies!

I wonder if angelina jolie would adopt me?

No?

Perhaps it's because she wanted a tiny aborable black baby with huge eyes that would make the paparazzi go all squishy?

One of my friends parents foster children when needed, I think its pretty cool.

I know my mum has thought about fostering children, but being a poor, single mother of 3 kids with a smallish house isn't ideal. Which sucks.

Personally I would like it if my mum did foster a child or 2, especially if they're around my age.

When I'm older and married (lol) i'll force my wife into agreeing to foster children, probably not adopt as I'll want my own children, but I wouldn't mind looking after a child or 2 for a few months.