There is this girl who I like that I had Spanish with this year. She seemed into me and I could make her laugh pretty easily and that kind of stuff. I meant to get her cell by the end of the year, but between the fact that it was spanish class and how I can get a little shy, it never happened. I'm fairly sure if I had gotten her number I could call her up and get a date, but since I likely won't see her this summer I am stuck with my last resort: the school directory. That means calling her home and dealing with her parents as someone they have probably never heard of. It all seems a little creepy, looking up someone's number and calling them out of the blue after not talking for three weeks, which is why I'm hesitant to do it. I could get her number from one of her friends, but the whole "How did you get this number?" conversation could end up looking even worse. I was thinking about starting with "sorry, I could have sworn I had your cell, but I must have lost it so I had to look up your home" or something like that. Any ideas?

See if she has a myspace. Myspace is less creepy.

Yeah myspace would work.

I forgot to mention. Neither she or I do. I never got into it, and I looked at some of her best friends' accounts at a friends house and she was no where to be found. I'm mostly worried because she is a gymnast that she will be out when I call and her parents will have to tell her "oh by the way XXXX called" and she will have time to imagine what I might want and come up with an excuse, if only because the surprise turns her off.

If she likes you, then she'll say yes. If she doesn't, she'll say no. And she'll think you're creepy.

But really, what do you have to lose?

fuck it. call her from hte school directory. you might get her, and tell her how you got her number if asked. if you get her parents, say "may i please speak with______" why would they question you? they might want to figure out who you, which is easily answered with the truth, "I'm little timmy no-nuts (or whatever your name is). I went to school with your daughter last semester, I was hoping I could speak with her." they wont hassle you.

say, 'hey, i meant to get your number before the semester ended, but didnt. I wanted to take you to (insert event here). I think it'd be a good time. '

if shes interested youll know. if shes not, you should be able to figure it out. If she IS interested, you've got yourself setup for a date....and its all on you from there. IF she asks how you got her number, dont lie. say "well i meant to ask you for your numbner before the semester ended, but i didnt.....I know you're listed in the directory, so i got it there. so lets go out tonight."

remember, girls love confidence. Don't ask her out, tell her you're going to take her out somewhere. IF you do say "i was wondering if you'd like to go out this weekend', and hell freezes over and she says yes....you better have an idea. Don't ask her what she wants to do. dont ask if she wants to do this, or that, or some random shit. If she doesnt want to do something she'll tell you. the worst thing you can do is appear to be NOT in control of the situation. and you are in control. You asked her out. You're taking her where you want. she's lucky to be coming along. if you're just going to do dinner, dont give her options. even though you think that might be the logical, polite thing to do....and it is. you dont give them options. You're in charge. you tell them when you're picking them up, and where you're taking them. otherwise they'll walk all over you.

bro, just hit her up and be like "hey whats up?" and if it goes well thats cool, i have never come off as a creep to my knowledge, but i am pretty chill about everything. just be chill.

edit:^^^ dude chickenpoop, what are you totse's own love master, jesus christ if you are that "confident" there is no way in hell they wont think you're not creepy and controlling.

That's pretty good advice. I'm usually pretty chill as far as talking to her though, besides feeling nervous, so I think I will probably be like "I want to take you out to a movie friday" or whatever, and then have the question be can she make it, not does she want to come or not. It sounds confident without being pushy or over the top. Then, even if she says no, I have the opportunity to offer another date/showtime without sounding desperate. Any other advice?

Some good advice dropped in this thread. One way to play off the whole "I looked up your number in the directory" is to play the shy yet attracted card.
Tell her that you enjoyed hanging out with her in Spanish and realized you'd love to take her out somewhere but were too shy to ask until now. That way, you can hopefully blow the creepy thing out of the water.

Sidenote, if she uses msn, try and find a way of getting that and talking to her using an instant messenger. Much less invasive IMO.

Good luck!

The shy yet attracted is a little bit of a problem only because, and I hate to sound clicky, but the group I hang out with at school is generally considered "cooler" than her group of friends, as in they don't mingle a lot. I think it is a stupid rule, and I don't do as well with girls as a lot of my friends, so I want to make the offer sound appealing as in "I'm going to give you the privelage of going out with me" but being ABSOLUTELY sure not to sound like a dick or be presumptuous. The shy attitude doesn't fit with that style. Also, I have a strong rule about having voices heard when asking a girl out, meaning phone or face to face. Texting or AIM comes off as being so nervous that you are too scared to have her hear your voice and even if it didn't, the connotations of certain things is easily skewed in people's minds when you can't hear the voice behind it or how it is said (ie taking sarcasm seriously)

Do what he said.

dude chickenpoop, what are you totse's own love master,

Yes. Yes I am.

Meh.... This will work with really dumb bitches, but I think you should give the ones you really care about equal say in matters, I've used the above technique on stupid girls, but the smarter ones tell me that they resent how I try (or tried) to act controlling over them.

Meh.... This will work with really dumb bitches, but I think you should give the ones you really care about equal say in matters, I've used the above technique on stupid girls, but the smarter ones tell me that they resent how I try (or tried) to act controlling over them.

I think if i do what he said without sounding too macho it would work on her (she isnt the guy crazy type that goes for "hey baby youre coming with me")

Yes. Yes I am.
oh, okay. now that i know. still if you did that i cant imagine that she would appreciate it.;) but like dipset said if its a dumb chick then it is different. dumb chicks ftw. JK

Aha, this reminds me of myself years ago, when I was a n00b at social engineering. I called a girl that I hardly ever spoke to in person. Needless to say, I was shut out. When I later found out that she actually considered going out with me, I realized that I ruined it by being too hasty, too shy, and by not having any sense of self confidence whatsoever.

If you speak to her often enough in class, if shouldn't be awkward calling her. It would be best to have a set-in-stone reason to be talking to her, though, not to "just say 'hi.'" A date, perhaps, or a question concerning your lives in the analogue world. Personally, I would ask her for her phone number in person (for the same reasons mentioned above), so she will at least be expecting a call at some point.

You just call her and say 'You're a fucking ugly bitch. I'd like to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.' X

already tried. she didnt take me seriously.

Dude, make your best attempt to find her cell number, then send her a text saying, " Hey, what's up? It's Dipset61, what are you doing?"

Simple

except if you say 'it's DipSet61' she might think youre weird

throw a kickback and invite her and her friends and you invite yours. end of story.

problem is our friends dont mingle. im thinking about a one on one movie date, but i still have to get showtimes. does she pick theshow or do i?

problem is our friends dont mingle. im thinking about a one on one movie date, but i still have to get showtimes. does she pick theshow or do i?

You do. Go see a comedy, i recommend "I pronounce you Chuck and Larry". You dont want to come off like a creep taking her to some chick flick and you dont want to see some action thriller you will be drooling all over while she waits for it to end.

Screw going to the movies - there is not much difference between watching a movie alone or with someone, you can't really talk during the movie without annoying the people around you, there is not much to discuss, etc. etc.

Take her to play pool. If she doesn't play pool, that only makes it better, because that means you can teach her. And teaching someone to play pool means that you two will get very close to each other.

If you don't play pool, go bowling, or think of something else fun, competitive and conversation-forcing for you to do.

Just ring her up, if she's there then chat for a while and ask her if she wants to go do something some time, if she's not there, leave your name and number with her parents. Just ask her if she wants to see a movie and get her to pick it, then try and work out the times and shit to see it in another call or something.

Oh yes, and, whatever you do, don't talk yourself out of calling her. Just call her. Otherwise you will regret it later.

I had Chuck and Larry in mind also. However, our local theater only posts showtimes up to thursday since on friday new movies come out. I figure I will look up the times for saturday night on friday and give her a call after I lift friday morning. As for bowling or pool, I don't know of anywhere to do that around here other than pool tables in bars. I do have Seahawks season tickets, though, and I figure teaching her football at a live game would be a good date later on since a lot of girls who go to our highschool games have no idea what is going on. I have had girls over to watch a game and do this before, but it would be a really impressive move to take her to the actual game in my opinion. It is just too much for a first date though, plus I have to wait until late august to do it.

However, our local theater only posts showtimes up to thursday since on friday new movies come out. I figure I will look up the times for saturday night on friday and give her a call after I lift friday morning.

I say ring thursday night, that way you might be able to get her before she makes plans.

Fuck I have no clue what comes next. I called her thursday (showtimes were up) and her dad was there. She and her mom were out, and I said she could just call me back at this number but he started giving me her cell so I had to take it down. After a couple minutes of deliberation, I called the cell and there was no answer. It was one of those answering machines where it has not been set up yet (I'm assuming this is because she has a Sidekick 3 and doesn't do voice much) so I couldn't leave a message. I was hoping that the "1 missed call" would prove I called and when she talked to her dad about it he would say "hey who is XXX XXX? He called looking for you and I gave him your cell #". At this point, she would know who called and call me back. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing if this is true. I am worried he called her to ask who I was right after I talked to her dad and when she knew the call was from me, she didn't answer because she was either scared or reluctant. This is why I do not want to try her again, because I am worried she would have to either answer and tell me to stop calling, or just continue blowing me off. This is so fucked up and confusing compared to my original plan, I just wish she had been there when she called. On the plus side, I think I made a good impression on her dad.

I like Agent 008's idea of taking her somewhere for a game of pool, I think anything really active and makes you speak with one another is good. It also makes you seem active and knowing what you want to do with your life, somwhat.

It's also good to limit the time to just one hour, short and sweet. A movie isn't really a good idea because its two hours (depending on the movie) where one hour and fifty minuets is spent watching the movie.

So not that great for creating attraction, also thats what your ment to do, not 'get to know her', or 'see what shes like'. You need to create attraction.

Also bad date ideas include dinner at a fancy restraunt. It spends alot of money and often only puts pressure on the girl. Also dont talk about stuff like jobs or family, thats just boring and suggestest that you are boaring.

Wow little off topic, but all good advice, also avoid talking to her for more than five minuets, this can create bordom as well, which is bad. *cheezy annocer voice* This and much much more avaible at chickmagnet101.com and other sites that i can't quite remember the name of right now.

Progression cannot occur without taking considerable risks.

It's a property of the human experience.

Wow little off topic, but all good advice, also avoid talking to her for more than five minuets, this can create bordom as well, which is bad.

Now I'm not sure about the 5 minutes thing - I'd say you'd better not worry about this sort of stuff and just keep things fun, naturally, without keeping your eye on the clock :)

But yeah, it's all good advice.

i think you should avoid talking to her at first on msn, just because it is so much less personal.

if you can only get her on msn, try and find a way to either meet her in person somewhere and then get her phone number, or get her phone number and then call her in a day or 2.

So do I call now or let it lie? I figure that if I call her back in a couple days I will just say this party I'm going to saturday was what I was inviting her to although I wouldn't have, and while we are talking I'll mention that I haven't seen her since school got out and we should see a movie or something. I'm starting to really like this plan actually.

Go with it.

i agree

Make up some excuse for calling, like what the homework was that was assigned for the summer, or whatever. Then just wander away from it and ask if she's busy.
Of course, easier said than done. I've never done that, so please post pictures of where she slaps you when you get back to school.

I disagree, go with your original plan.

I disagree, go with your original plan.
Yeah I wan to be upfront about it. I just wish I knew if she actually missed my call or if she was avoiding me once she knew I had her number (I'm guessing her dad called her right away to ask who XXXX XXXX is, while I got ready to call her). I'm also not sure what to say when I call her back now.

Yeah I wan to be upfront about it. I just wish I knew if she actually missed my call or if she was avoiding me once she knew I had her number (I'm guessing her dad called her right away to ask who XXXX XXXX is, while I got ready to call her). I'm also not sure what to say when I call her back now.

Since her dad gave you her mobile number wihout much interrogation beforehand, I suppose he is pretty laid-back about the whole thing and gives his daughter enough space and freedom.

Since you didn't have her mobile number, I'd guess she didn't have yours, so she had no idea who called her when she saw "1 missed call" on her mobile. Also, since her dad gave you her mobile, chances are he assumed you managed to contact her and didn't inform her of your call and the fact that he gave you her mobile. Even if he did, she still has no idea why you would want to call her, and is thinking that if it's anything important, you would call her back.

Personally, when I get a call from an unknown number, I think "If it was anything important, they would call back", and don't call them back.

So, to cut it short, you don't really have any reasons to believe that she is avoiding you. I mean seriously, you only tried to call her once, and she has no idea what you wanted to call her for, it's not like you've been stalking her and calling her every hour for a couple of days.

So, I'd say, just call her casually, you have nothing to worry about, tell her that you tried to contact her, and tell her whatever you wanted to tell her.

I know your mind is trying to make false assumptions at this point to talk yourself out of taking action, but don't listen to it :). Been there, done that, regretted it later.

This somes up every reason why you will not get with this specific girl and all the things you need to change to be more successful.
The fact that all those things went through your mind shows how much self confidence you lack. This girl is your only option, no girl wants to be with a guy who can't get any other girl they want to feel lucky like they won you over. You're thought process should work something like this I called her she wasn't there I called her phone she didn't pick up, okay cool I don't care I'll try again in a couple days and see what's up.

On the plus side, I think I made a good impression on her dad.
Dude no you don't give a shit about her dad teenage girls hate there parents and tend to do the exact oppossite of what they want. Do you really think if a girls dad says some guy called looking for you he seems really nice that the girl will think more highly of you?

Thanks, Agent 008. I feel a lot better about this. I don't normally call girls to ask stuff like this, and I guess with all the complications I let it grow in my mind. As for SHBA, a lot of what you said is true too. However, she isn't my only option. I go to parties and spend time with other girls a lot, but unfortunately the girls I spend the most time with at partys and stuff are mostly interested in Seniors. All of the really popular girls only hook up with guys my age, but they never actually date them. I want dating, not just drunk hookups at parties, which is why I'm so interested in this girl. She is great to be around, but doesn't get noticed a lot so she would be willing to spend time with guys my age.
I'm going to call tomorrow or wednesday probably. The biggest problem is that I have her number and she doesn't know how I got it. I have the option of awkwardly bringing up that I called last thursday and her dad gave me her cell or not saying anything, addressing it if she mentions it, and hoping she doesn't get thinking about it until after the call. Thanks for all the advice so far.

Bump. I kind of forgot about this whole deal with football starting. Do I try again now, or just forget it?