My boyfriend has been at Governor's School for five weeks and he's finally coming home next week. I was, and still am, really excited but I am concerned about a few things that were brought up in a phone conversation two days ago. First of all, let me tell you that during the first half of his trip he used to call me every other day to talk. This second half, I have gotten a totally of three phone calls. It wouldn't bother me except for the fact that he says he's going to call and then doesn't. When I asked him why, he just said, "That the more that I talk to you, the more I really miss you and want to tell you my secret." His secret is obvious, because he won't tell me until he sees me in person. I can understand where he's coming from with that.

So when he called me two days ago he dropped the biggest bomb on me. He told me that he was scared about what will happen in the next few weeks because I am going off to college, he has a huge 1st semester at highschool with AP classes and soccer, and the long distance thing. I am going to college roughly 2 hours away, so in my mind I don't see it as being so far away I can't come back and visit. I guess I just feel hurt at the fact that I waited for him for 6 weeks and I don't know if I wasted that time or if it will pay off in the end. I don't know what way he's leaning towards. All of the "what-if's" are running through my head.

So totse, what should I do. I love this guy, and plan to tell him when he gets back. What should I do to help settle his mind or show him how much I do care? Has anyone been in this situation before?

Nothing's happened and he's already worried that it won't work out? Your boyfriend sucks. :/
<3

It sounds as if things are over.

However, you won't know until you talk to him about things and are around for a while.

Six weeks can seem like a long time.

hehehhe govna's school.


Gayest thing eva.

QFT.

As for the boyfriend, if he thinks his semester is "huge" at highschool, he needs to get a fucking clue.

High school is NOTHING compared to college.

I know and I told him that. His first semester isn't that big of a deal. Last year, his first semester of his junior year was just like his upcoming one - full of AP courses. He's the type of person that doesn't have to try and still passes with B's and A's. I don't understand why now he's trying to act like he's going to actually care for once in his life when he doesn't have too. He hasn't even started reading his summer reading book for AP English and plans to just read sparknotes and take the test.

I don't know... do you think he's just worried about telling me his secret? Like he's afraid of rejection after he tells me he loves me? Because this was all of a sudden.

Have you had sex?

Have you had sex?

Yes, I was his first.

Is it a good secret? Does he seem excited about telling you it?

Yes, I was his first.

Well then he's worried. You're going to college, where you're going to be surrounded by older guys 24/7. Of course he's going to be worried about it, you were his first and he's probably emotionally attached at this point.

One of the what-if's that's running through his head is you cheating on him, which will most likely happen =\.

So he will either tell you that he loves you, or he will break up with you, but since you were his first then it's probably the former.

Good luck, and maybe suggest taking a break if he's going to be worried about you being in college while he's in HS. And see other people or something.

Well then he's worried. You're going to college, where you're going to be surrounded by older guys 24/7. Of course he's going to be worried about it, you were his first and he's probably emotionally attached at this point.

One of the what-if's that's running through his head is you cheating on him, which will most likely happen =\.

So he will either tell you that he loves you, or he will break up with you, but since you were his first then it's probably the former.

Good luck, and maybe suggest taking a break if he's going to be worried about you being in college while he's in HS. And see other people or something.

Okay thanks for point this out. I have always been told that guys don't get emotionally attached when it comes to losing their virginity, but I guess they do. There were plenty of other people he could have lost it to (his two ex-girlfriends being prime examples) but I never understood why he waited. I guess it does mean something to him. I don't cheat, I never have and don't plan on doing so. I find it very wrong as I do alot of other things such as drugs. I have stretched to fit his mold, so to speak, about the drug thing. I guess that that is something I need to address with him when we talk because I don't plan to whore it up when I go to college. That's not I was in highschool and is not something I am going to do in college. Thanks.

And to Euda, yes he already told me it was a good secret and the fact that he can only tell me in person because he wants it to "have meaning" makes me fully believe its to tell me he loves me. He seems very nervous about telling me. During phone conversations, such as the most recent one, he hints at it, like he's almost about to say it, "I care about you alot and I miss you so much... I.... I don't know, nevermind."

Okay thanks for point this out. I have always been told that guys don't get emotionally attached when it comes to losing their virginity, but I guess they do. There were plenty of other people he could have lost it to (his two ex-girlfriends being prime examples) but I never understood why he waited. I guess it does mean something to him. I don't cheat, I never have and don't plan on doing so. I find it very wrong as I do alot of other things such as drugs. I have stretched to fit his mold, so to speak, about the drug thing. I guess that that is something I need to address with him when we talk because I don't plan to whore it up when I go to college. That's not I was in highschool and is not something I am going to do in college. Thanks.

Well that's good, just remember if he brings that up, don't get mad at him. It's just a sign that he cares about you.

Be re-assuring :D

big secret his gay.... Suicidal... homicidal
suicide is always an option

That was helpful....

Where's jackketch and yoyobek...

That reminds me of this dream this girl had about me.
We were a couple and at the mall and then I told her I had something to tell her, and then I whispered in her ear that I was gay (IN THE DREAM)
And then later she told me it was actually in her room, and after I told her that we had sex anyway (In the dream :[ )


So this guy is a freshman at high school, and your going to college?

No, he's a senior in highschool and I am a freshman in college.

I love to gloat.

In fact, let me gloat some right now.

I remember you from your other thread, where I specifically told you this relationship is full of problems.

I don't know how some of you people are so blind.

He told me that he was scared about what will happen in the next few weeks because I am going off to college, he has a huge 1st semester at highschool with AP classes and soccer, and the long distance thing.

TRANSLATION: This isn't going to work, but I'm too pussy to tell you myself, so I'm going to make you feel like you're suffocating me, and then you'll leave me the fuck alone.

Jesus Christ I don't like you, and it seems neither does your boyfriend.

I love to gloat.

In fact, let me gloat some right now.

Jesus Christ I don't like you, and it seems neither does your boyfriend.

Do you realize that you are practically the only person telling me shit isn't going to work out? I take your opinion with a grain of salt, if you haven't realized, because you are so self-centered and arrogant, and according to your threads that I have read, treat people, mostly girls, like shit. So go on gloat away, since its the only thing that is going to make you believe you have any self-confidence.

Ahh corrupting our innocent male youth, are ye?

He's probably just feeling insecure after the two of you have been apart for so long. I personnaly wouldn't worry about it too much.

Do you realize that you are practically the only person telling me shit isn't going to work out? I take your opinion with a grain of salt, if you haven't realized, because you are so self-centered and arrogant, and according to your threads that I have read, treat people, mostly girls, like shit. So go on gloat away, since its the only thing that is going to make you believe you have any self-confidence.

Ahem, in fact, if you read a bit young lady, you'll realize that several people have informed you it most likely won't work out. Just because he chose to do it in a more... "non-productive" manner doesn't make it any less a possibility.
Either way, stop acting so stuck-up, we're all trying to live life around here and we can't do it with all your suffocating anger. Take some happy pills god-dammit.

On the note of your boyfriend. It's quite similar to what happened to my highschool sweetie when we moved about two hours apart to different universities. We saw each other for about 4 months before it broke apart. It was very up and down, sometimes we'd be really close and sometimes I would barely call and would just pretend to miss her. It's hard to know what the other is thinking over a long distance relationship. If you're dedicated to making it work, then try and make it work. Don't worry so much about what he thinks or whatever. If you want it to work, and you put in the effort, then you will have no one to blame but him if it doesn't work out. Wasting your time? Maybe. But the best advice I can give is not to lose hope if you want to be with him.

BTW, no such thing as a hard semester in highschool, that is a bunch of little-kid bullshit, honestly.

QFT.

As for the boyfriend, if he thinks his semester is "huge" at highschool, he needs to get a fucking clue.

High school is NOTHING compared to college.

And college is nothing compared to actually having a job.

And college is nothing compared to actually having a job.

Not to hijack the thread in another direction, but I couldn't disagree with you more. Nearly everyone I've talked to, including my own experiences with co-op during my current university years, has mentioned that work is not NEAR as difficult as university.
Perhaps college is easier, but I would rather work any day than study theoretical physics and quantum mechanics in university.

"That the more that I talk to you, the more I really miss you and want to tell you my secret." His secret is obvious, because he won't tell me until he sees me in person.

Okay, as a guy, I think I know exactly what he's thinking. It's pretty simple. He's really into you, but he's really scared of things not working out and you leaving and doesn't want to get hurt. You are obviously advocating the long distance thing much more than he is. If you really think you can make it work, try it. But wait until he's back before talking about it. Let him have his mind until he's home and then bring it up.
When you're together, how easy is it for you two to talk about things?

Not to hijack the thread in another direction, but I couldn't disagree with you more. Nearly everyone I've talked to, including my own experiences with co-op during my current university years, has mentioned that work is not NEAR as difficult as university.
Perhaps college is easier, but I would rather work any day than study theoretical physics and quantum mechanics in university.

Work is much harder than college, and college is much harder than high school. Neither of these two are hard if you're a business major, but the stress eats at you.

High School I spent high and drunk.

University I'm spending high and drunk and tripping on LSD.

Work I'll spend just drunk, to fit in with old white folks going over stocks and whatnot.

Work, day to day may be easier, but the long nights, rushing to meet deadlines, and the fact that you can be fired for the simplest mistakes (there goes your steady paycheck) certainly dampens the otherwise "happy" mood people have at work.

Work is much harder than college, and college is much harder than high school. Neither of these two are hard if you're a business major, but the stress eats at you.

High School I spent high and drunk.

University I'm spending high and drunk and tripping on LSD.

Work I'll spend just drunk, to fit in with old white folks going over stocks and whatnot.

Work, day to day may be easier, but the long nights, rushing to meet deadlines, and the fact that you can be fired for the simplest mistakes (there goes your steady paycheck) certainly dampens the otherwise "happy" mood people have at work.

True say. I won't deny that particular field is a bit more precarious. I'm in university for Engineering, and while it is a difficult job and requires quite a bit of responsibility, the pay is great and as long as you have an idea of what you're doing, chances are you wont' lose your job.

And the great thing about work is that most times, when you leave work, you leave the work there. There are always exceptions, but that is the way I live. In school though, there's always more work. Even when I'm partying, I could always be at home studying to do better. It's just nerve racking.

Okay, as a guy, I think I know exactly what he's thinking. It's pretty simple. He's really into you, but he's really scared of things not working out and you leaving and doesn't want to get hurt. You are obviously advocating the long distance thing much more than he is. If you really think you can make it work, try it. But wait until he's back before talking about it. Let him have his mind until he's home and then bring it up.
When you're together, how easy is it for you two to talk about things?

I have been in a long distance relationship before. My ex-boyfriend had spent three months in Europe last year and I stuck it through, so I know what he's going through. There are alot of what-ifs going through his mind, as was mine at the time. But I guess I am more dedicated to it because I know that I won't cheat. I respect him and myself too much to do something so stupid. When we are together, we are both so happy and he can talk to me about anything. I wrote him a note (more like a book... lol but) and I plan to surprise him when he gets back. I plan to put it in an easter egg and hide it at night in his lawn, tell him to go find it in a text, and go from there. I haven't really opened up to him all the way yet, so I thought that the whole egg (cracking the/my shell) with a heart-felt letter inside would be most sincere.

I have been in a long distance relationship before. My ex-boyfriend had spent three months in Europe last year and I stuck it through, so I know what he's going through. There are alot of what-ifs going through his mind, as was mine at the time. But I guess I am more dedicated to it because I know that I won't cheat. I respect him and myself too much to do something so stupid. When we are together, we are both so happy and he can talk to me about anything. I wrote him a note (more like a book... lol but) and I plan to surprise him when he gets back. I plan to put it in an easter egg and hide it at night in his lawn, tell him to go find it in a text, and go from there. I haven't really opened up to him all the way yet, so I thought that the whole egg (cracking the/my shell) with a heart-felt letter inside would be most sincere.

Aww, how sweet. What if the egg turns up missing?

I want to apologize for being so angry with you earlier, I probably shouldn't have. I've been going through some shit and I'm always drugged off my ass.

Then I totally freak out...

Omg... how many people would pick up a random egg in their yard if they found one?

How many people would read the note inside if it was for their brother or sister?

Ok now I'm just worried....

Oh, and Rykoshet, apology excepted

Okay, as a guy, I think I know exactly what he's thinking. It's pretty simple. He's really into you, but he's really scared of things not working out and you leaving and doesn't want to get hurt. You are obviously advocating the long distance thing much more than he is. If you really think you can make it work, try it. But wait until he's back before talking about it. Let him have his mind until he's home and then bring it up.
When you're together, how easy is it for you two to talk about things?
qft, but like it was discussed in the last thread, you never know whats going to happen it could go either way. I think itll be good though and hopefully be like jojabr said.