I was thinking the other day about the sexual experiences I've had, and I noticed a common theme. I'll fill you in on some of them and you see if you can notice it.

first sexual experience: in the woods, in a friends tent. the friend was out like a light, didn't notice me going down on the girl (I found the clitoris, too. I didn't know girls could MAKE that noise! it's nothing like the pornos.) brought her off seven times, or at least so she says. I think she might have been exaggerating. it was my first time after all.

second experience: hotel in thailand. met a somewhat older lady (like 35-40 ish, I can never tell how old asians are), a complete MILF, wound up 'driving her home', or at least to the city where she lived. and then I drove her home again.

third experience. another hotel in thailand. (I live in thailand, this isn't what I'm trying to point out). fucked a girl somewhere between 6-8 times. can't remember much. apparantly I'm a good kisser, but she sucked at giving head (my first), and was chronically dry. many lubricative experiments resulted. best lube: soap. second best: hand lotion.

fourth: sex in a car.

fifth. sex in the mall. on the roof, in the stairwell, and *almost* in the theater. if I'd have bought popcorn, she probably would have gone down on me there. :)

sixth. sex behind a strip-mall type place, when nobody was looking.

now I'm not the most conquering sexual champion here, but I don't give a shit. I just looked over that list, and I realized something vaguely astonishing:

I've never done anything more sexual than kiss in a house! not my own, not her house, not a friends house, nothing! the closest I can come to a sexual experience in a house is masturbation, but that's done alone, that doesn't count.

isn't life grand. now it's off my chest, it's your problem, you deal with it.

sex and affection

FUCK YOU!

best lube: soap.

Ahahahahah, go on kids, try it!

best lube: soap.

Dear God no.

Moving this to where it belongs.

Ahahahahah, go on kids, try it!

QFT! I mean...that fucking shit burns!!!! Soap, seriously, either complete bullshit...or I don't know what fucking soap you'd be using :p

ever accidentally get soap in your wee wee?

yeah, you don't want to use it as a lube, I call this guy's strange romance bullshit.

maybe it's that shitty "moisturizing" handsoap that they have in public bathrooms that always seems to leave that weird-ass residue you cant get rid of.......

and what's your point? so what if you've never had sex in your house (or a house)?.....Big deal! I sure as hell havn't! ;)

third experience. another hotel in thailand. (I live in thailand, this isn't what I'm trying to point out). fucked a girl somewhere between 6-8 times. can't remember much. apparantly I'm a good kisser, but she sucked at giving head (my first), and was chronically dry. many lubricative experiments resulted. best lube: soap. second best: hand lotion.


you just fucked a post-op transexual. congrats.

My chemical romance is good.

My chemical romance are emo faggots.

yup

no really, soap. it was wierd girly soap. and no, it wasn't a tranny, she was on her period. last I checked, trannies don't have those. I don't know what kind of soap it was, it smelled vaguely like soap, it was somewhat clear. maybe some kind of lotion. and I meant lube for her, not me. I know soap (dish soap, barsoap, shampoo, etc) fucking hurts when you wank with it, so I got it in her and then kind of squirted it on the top of my dick and worked it in...

yeah.

anyway, this is a spurious generality. i'm not asking for sexual advice, I'm just pointing out an odd detail that nobody really gives a shit about.

side note, asian (from asia) girls love guys with body hair. woooo!