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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2007-07-15, 21:12 |
Sado 
Regular
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 My friend
Does the sex and affection forum count my wanting advice about my friend?
Well anyway. She has changed, a lot. She's the kind of person that will try her damned hardest to fit into any crowed.
At the moment she's with some guy that smokes alot of weed and does a lot of coke. I'm scared she's going to turn into some coke addict. She's also starting to talk like a fucking chav (and that is the worst thing EVER) This guy, is a dick, but she still tries her hardest to make him like her.
Today she met up with me for a catch up chat. Which involves her talking about her life and not giving a shit about mine. IM sick of it. I wanted to tell her to fuck off but I didnt have the heart to.
She is becoming the type of person she always despised. She is letting this guy mess her around, yet she is still probably sleeping around.
One thing she said to me was "Oh this guy steve, he asked if I was single and I was like err no! But he can get me weed so yeah 'mazin'! "
She is'nt like this! Shes lovely but I hate who shes turning out to be. The rude, self centred, stupid girl!
She is also SO inlove with herself
What I wanna know is:
Do I tell her straight about how much she bugs me, ( I dont know if I'd want to hear it myself if I was her)
Or
Do I just carry on being a good friend to her, letting her talk to me like shit, and listening?
I don't know what to do :(
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#2
2007-07-15, 21:35 |
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Re: My friend
not worth the bother mate.
Tell her you couldn't give a shit about her crap now she's turning into this person and come back when she's grown up.
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#3
2007-07-15, 21:39 |
Sado
Regular
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Re: My friend
Quote:
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Originally Posted by psycho_8b
not worth the bother mate.
Tell her you couldn't give a shit about her crap now she's turning into this person and come back when she's grown up.
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Thing is though, She has always been there for me, along with her boyfriends, and she HAS helped me out alot. I know I wouldn't be the person today if I never met her.
Im not the only one out of our group that thinks she's changed too much for her own good.
Its sad. Its like she's not who she use to be anymore. At all. |
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#4
2007-07-15, 21:49 |
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Re: My friend
Tell her that then mate. The least you can do is try.
Let her know that she's becoming a person nobody wants to be around and that if she doesn't sort her ideas out, she'll lose her real friends.
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#5
2007-07-16, 07:10 |
RandumGuy
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Re: My friend
have a serious one on one...
tell it all in take it or leave it form
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#6
2007-07-16, 08:10 |
E-digger
Regular
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Re: My friend
Let her know that she's becoming a person nobody wants to be around and that if she doesn't sort her ideas out, she'll lose her real friends.
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#7
2007-07-16, 08:29 |
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Re: My friend
Ugghhhh....this is like reading a creepy diary written by me.........except I'm English in this version >_>
I had the same thing happen to one of my best friends a while back. The exact same thing. Except in my case, she stopped hanging out with me to go spend time with her drugged up, loser boyfriend.
So, the worst thing to do is break off contact completely or say it to her face (like I did) that her boyfriend is a 'wanker' or that she should stop hanging with him. Don't make her choose between you two (despite what anyone in this thread has said or is going to say). When someone thinks they're 'in love' they won't ever choose their friends. It's basic human nature, we choose what makes us happy and ignore everything that doesn't live up.
What you need to do is start forming other friendships with other friends. If you've always been the closest of friends then you need to show that you can be independant without her or else she'll continue to ignore the situation. Don't spend as much time together, let her have more time to understand her bf's faults. Make her appreciate your company when she has no one to bitch to (yes, she WILL bitch. All girls need to bitch about their bfs). Go out with your other friends more often, too much time with certain people can make you clingy.
If she treats you like shit, well then you have other people to turn to. They may not be as close as she is but the moment she doesn't have a best friend to turn to, she'll start sticking to her boyfriend and it'll get tiresome. Without sounding like another S&A male, this really is a case of taking 'control' of the situation.
When she realises she's losing you, her true colours will show. That's when you make your decision.
Hope it goes well for you ;)
<3
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#8
2007-07-16, 19:42 |
Sado
Regular
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Re: My friend
Quote:
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Originally Posted by azalie
Ugghhhh....this is like reading a creepy diary written by me.........except I'm English in this version >_>
I had the same thing happen to one of my best friends a while back. The exact same thing. Except in my case, she stopped hanging out with me to go spend time with her drugged up, loser boyfriend.
So, the worst thing to do is break off contact completely or say it to her face (like I did) that her boyfriend is a 'wanker' or that she should stop hanging with him. Don't make her choose between you two (despite what anyone in this thread has said or is going to say). When someone thinks they're 'in love' they won't ever choose their friends. It's basic human nature, we choose what makes us happy and ignore everything that doesn't live up.
What you need to do is start forming other friendships with other friends. If you've always been the closest of friends then you need to show that you can be independant without her or else she'll continue to ignore the situation. Don't spend as much time together, let her have more time to understand her bf's faults. Make her appreciate your company when she has no one to bitch to (yes, she WILL bitch. All girls need to bitch about their bfs). Go out with your other friends more often, too much time with certain people can make you clingy.
If she treats you like shit, well then you have other people to turn to. They may not be as close as she is but the moment she doesn't have a best friend to turn to, she'll start sticking to her boyfriend and it'll get tiresome. Without sounding like another S&A male, this really is a case of taking 'control' of the situation.
When she realises she's losing you, her true colours will show. That's when you make your decision.
Hope it goes well for you ;)
<3
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Thank you! That helped loads :) |
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#9
2007-07-16, 19:48 |
getoffmylawn
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Re: My friend
Let her be a chav and wear trashy jewellry and shit and do coke if it makes her happy. Don't stick your nose in other peoples buisness.
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#10
2007-07-16, 19:54 |
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Re: My friend
I was in a situation like that. the girl was my best friend.
anyway, do as others said and start forming close friendships with others. then sit down and tell her how you feel about her. Don't be too forceful.
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#11
2007-07-16, 19:58 |
Sado
Regular
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Re: My friend
Quote:
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Originally Posted by getoffmylawn
Let her be a chav and wear trashy jewellry and shit and do coke if it makes her happy. Don't stick your nose in other peoples buisness.
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Shes the one that fucking comes running back to me in tears! I'm the one that has to cheer her up! I'm the one that has to comfort her!
So it is my business thanks! |
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#12
2007-07-16, 20:12 |
Docta?
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Re: My friend
This sounds like something I can relate to in a roundabout sorta way.
This girl, lets call her A, has been complaining to everyone who will listen to her about her friend, let's call her B, who has a new boyfriend.
Since B has started seeing this new guy, she never calls A or hangs out any more. A doesn't like the new boyfriend, he drinks a lot, dabbles in drugs and has violent assaults on his criminal record. A thinks that B has changed, she was better off without him.
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So I'm chatting to a few friends one day and they tell me about some girl they had been talking to, pouring her heart and soul out about this evil boyfriend who has stole her best friend away from her. They simply mention it, but I am intrigued and ask them to tell me all she told them.
So I tell them the rest of the story. A is a psycho bitch, who hated me from the start because of my religion. She also just used B because she had a car, and A didn't have any other friends. There is also a hell of a lot more to the story which will have to go unsaid.
B is a lot happier with me than she was before. :D
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My point here is there are two sides to every story.
Sado, maybe your friend is happier in the chav crowd. Maybe she enjoys her life. She has to make her own choices and her own mistakes.
Maybe you yearn for her? Maybe you're jealous of her popularity? Maybe you simply miss her and despise those who took her from you?
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