So, I have this girl whom I've been seeing for a cool 10 or 11 months, we have our really good ups and really low lows, and we argue a lot.

But all in all, we have a very fun, not too serious and very hot relationship, up until a few days ago.

She calls me up and says she isn't sure if she wants to go out, we have a long talk, and she end up coming over the following day.

This is when it gets real fucking confusing, we talk for a few hours, just about us, and our past and what not, shedding many tears, the both of us. She concludes she wants a break, and wants to see if she wants to continue the relationship.

Yet we still, in turn, made out and kissed and it really didn't feel like anything had changed, even after we agreed on the break, afterwards we made out and kissed, exchanged "I like you"s and so on, as if nothing happened.

we had a very lively sex life, and we make each other laugh and get along great, I want to stay with her still, and by the way she acts she wants to stay together too, but if this is the case, why would she be making this all happen in the first place, and in the end, make it as if we aren't even on a break.

SO what the hell would you do in a situation like this?

and what does all her craziness mean?

She's having doubts about the relationship, obviously. She just doesnt have the courage to go cold turkey, and its hard to suddenly start acting differently when it's a routine you've gotten used to for almost a year.

Plus, she probably doesnt even know if she has the courage to break up with you at all. Breaking up, unless its because someone does something seriously wrong, usually brings out the strongest of the emotions that were there during the relationship.

Well all in all it really depends on what type of relationship you were in before. Since you said you both exchanged tears, i'm assuming that this relationship was more than just a fuck buddy. I'm not sure of the exact situation you are in, but i'd recommed some of the following.

If she wants to call it quits right now, then there really isn't all that much you can do it about. You can't force a relationship to work if it's not going to. If you are both comfortable with it, you could put yourselves into an open relationship. Continue dating, but date around also, go to out with your girl one night, and then the next night, go to a party, get messed up, and hook up with another girl. If that's not the option, go to the bar/club and throw some charm around to all the ladies.

If you do decide to take this road, you have to realize that you arn't the only one that's messing around. Even though you both agreed on it, you have to make sure that you are both comfortable with the fact that you'll be seeing other people at the same time. It doesn't mean you have to rub it in each others face about what your doing, just the ability to accept that your girlfriend is probably having sex with another guy.

if this road doean't tickle your fancy, then your only other option is to distance yourself to cure the heart break. Give her the space/time that she needs, and give yourself the same. Don't let her drag you around on a string. If she wants to call it quits, don't let her call you up and ask you to help her move some furniture. Don't be aggressive towards her. Just let her know that since she wants to end the relationship, that you're gonna distance yourself for the time being until she decides what she wants to do.

Do what you have to do to make your heartbreak a little easier on you. If it doesn't bother you keeping up the pictures you have to get on your mantle, then keep them there. If you can handle having her number in your phone 24/7 then keep it there. However if looking at those pictures breaks your herat, and if that number is just a temptation to get in contact with her just to "see how she is" then put them away somewhere. In a shoe box inside a shoe box in your closet.

I do certainly feel for you and your heartbreak, i've had my share are hard falls. But the last thing you want to do is anything more than distance yourself from her. Don't get mad at her, and flip out (which is understandable), and become emotional. Don't destroy the wonderful memories you had together. Once your heart has healed, you'll be able to embrace the good times you had together. If you two don't get back together, then once you are both over each other, you can hang out and reminisce of all the good times you had together. The good side to this, alteast for me becuase i did the same thing, is that it no longer hurts when you think about the person, however you both know that you both still mean something to each other. My ex girlfreind of a year is dating my best friend. We are both over eachother, however we know that we still have this unbreaking bond between the two of us that nothing can come inbetween.

good luck my friend.

dude, chicks are crazy.

Yeah, we were dating, although we kept it so we didn't get too serious, although we really got used to each others company and attached to each other.

We were pretty much best friends, and dating, so it feels like I'm losing both a friend and a lover.

thanks for all the responses so far, I think the best thing to do is just give it time, if she doesn't want to date, she doesn't have to. I told her if she wants to break up with me she should just say so, she is just sending so many random signals it's as if she is playing with my emotions.

and THAT is what keeps me by her side, and it's really shitty,

I guess I should just assume the worst and try to let it go

I just really hope this works out....

She's a randy bitch, correct?

She's striving for some new cock.

By now I bet you're thinking I'm taking the piss, well I'm not. By the fact you had a discussion on breaking and so forth, followed by random, unexpected intamacy pretty much amplifies how much she just wants to get her enddddddd. She wants sex, anything. She MILKED the last minutes she was with you...

But yeah, she's probably looking at other guys, ones she KNOWS fancy her.

So man, just watch yourself, she sounds like a cheater... No lie.

She's pretty randy, but very traditional when it comes to sex.

because of her religious upbringing I imagine, she takes sex fairly seriously, as far as a single partner.

Also during our break we agreed to be faithful.

SO pretty much, we make out, kiss, talk about liking each other and we are faithful to each other

Yet we are on a break?

This is what I am saying, this is a crazy, confusing mo'fucking situation!

Whatever she was trying to do worked. She has you confused and upset about your relationship. Sucks to be you.

Honestly the worst thing you can do is give into the games that she is playing. She wants to break up, but expects you to remain faithful. That's a perfect example of "i don't want you, but i don't want anyone else to have you either". If you let this happen, you're going to look back on it and say "why the fuck did I ever let that happen". Don't give into it man. Before you know it she's gonna be going to the movies with "just some guy from work", while expecting you never to even look at another female.

Make it easy on yourself. Tell her to give you an answer. If she wants to break up, tell her that you can no longer "kiss, make out, and stay faithful". becuase that is not breaking up, that's simply toying around with your emotions. If she wants to stay together than that's fine. But if not, both of your go on your way for the time being, an you go out and find youself some fresh tale at the club my friend to clear your head.

you said "made out" so jakketch is gonna come lock this thread.


It's called "faceblowjobs" or "face slurping." Come on now get it right.


As for your problem, your girl cares about you and I believe is actually evaluating the relationship. Still, you shouldn't fucking cry about some bitch you've only been going with for 11 months and you aren't even drunk.

you will be surprised how emotional you can get when she is there, right in front of you crying about you, and you being equally put down.

I haven't cried since, I'm usually a pretty tough guy, but in a situation like that, I can't help it, and I'm not going to try to hold it all back.

and I know 11 months isn't all that much, especially compared to a lot of people on this board, but over those 11 months we have become incredibly close.

in no way I am saying I am in love with her, but I still want to be with her

Of course she brings out the emotions in you, she's probably been doing that for 11 months. And yes, 11 months is a long time, as long as you don't compare it to other relationships.

It sounds to me like she's a fuck buddy best friend. She's not toying with you on purpose. She realizes it's time to put an end to it, but it's not an easy thing to do, especially in your situation.

I wouldn't turn down a fuck buddy, but I don't know how well it's going to work.

knowing both of us, I think we would both get jealous

but turning down some good poon would be ridiculous :D

I agree, "I want a break" is code for "I want to give someone else a go" for either member of the relationship.

shes probably getting bored with the relationship, not you - the relationship. girls are fucking crazy. every single one of them. i just found out again.... you have to keep them interested...one way to do that is keep the guessing, fuck with their emotions. if you always keep them happy, they get bored...you have to sorta send them on an emotional roller coaster.....its really fucked up. i treated my last girl almost like a queen, whereas her ex treated her like dirt....he dated her for 4 years...i dated her for 7 months. some girls are just fucked in the head. if they like to be treated like dirt. give it to them.

I agree, "I want a break" is code for "I want to give someone else a go" for either member of the relationship.

that's exactly what I thought, and I told her that!

she really is crazy, but as of now, I'm giving her lots of space

so I can get over her,

I don't have faith in these "breaks"

im alwayz rite

so, the break ended up as I expected,

we are broken up, and it has finally hit me,

it's freaking tough

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

And by prepare for the worst, I mean try to "detach" yourself from the her, but not distance yourself. So what I'm saying is spend the same amount of time with her, do the things you would normally do, but try not to think about her when you're not with her, and at the back of your mind try to move on