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Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here.

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 #1 
Old 2007-07-14, 11:27
Uri Uri is offline
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Default Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Wednesday night I was with my girlfriend and she said I could have sex with her. So I takes her to the back of the car and we get to kissing and touching and licking and shit and then she, being afraid that her mother is going to wake up and notice that she isn't in the house says lets just get to the fucking. I pulls my dick out throws the condom on him and proceed to stick it in and honest to God scout's honor it won't go in. I did everything I could, fucking bent it like a bow almost and still, no give. Then I had her get on top of me and try to guide it in, but still no go. I believe that I just couldn't find the hole but I know she knows where that fucker is(I'm a virgin, so is she). I've never fingered her except this one time when i scratched the shit out of her insides and I'm totally fucking clueless, she's on her period now but she said we could try again tuesday or thereabouts. I need fucking help, I can't go in there and fail that badly again.
 #2 
Old 2007-07-14, 11:35
nuclearrabbit nuclearrabbit is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Just put it in her butt.
 #3 
Old 2007-07-14, 11:54
The Chip Shop Guy The Chip Shop Guy is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Its at the bottom.

Lower than you first think, well, it was lower than I first thought.
 #4 
Old 2007-07-14, 12:49
tricky tricky is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

lmao, think backwards L, without the definite edges and stuff, actually don't think of a backwards L at all. Go watch some porn... or better yet ask your girlfriend?

You were both drunk during this encounter weren't you?
 #5 
Old 2007-07-14, 12:57
Regular
 
Florida, US
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Chip Shop Guy
Its at the bottom.

Lower than you first think, well, it was lower than I first thought.


Heh, yeah. Me too.
 #6 
Old 2007-07-14, 13:06
Regular
 
Australia, ACT
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

You were hitting the hymen, stick it into her, HARD.
 #7 
Old 2007-07-14, 13:27
tricky tricky is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenkins
You were hitting the hymen, stick it into her, HARD.


LMAO: (nextweeks newspaper) SEX-ED REVAMP, after bellybutton brutalisation.
 #8 
Old 2007-07-14, 13:38
Regular
 
Australia, ACT
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

LMAO: (nextweeks newspaper) SEX-ED REVAMP, after bellybutton brutalisation.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 #9 
Old 2007-07-14, 13:41
tricky tricky is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

:) thanks, if you live in australia (it's actually a small town, not a country, and we are all in walking distance of each other) come over! I'm bored and drinking alone. :|. School soon. (monday)
 #10 
Old 2007-07-14, 14:46
cant b bothered cant b bothered is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

:) thanks, if you live in australia (it's actually a small town, not a country, and we are all in walking distance of each other) come over! I'm bored and drinking alone. :|. School soon. (monday)
Where abouts in aus. also bored with prosepct of school.
 #11 
Old 2007-07-14, 14:48
Regular
 
Valhalla
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

:) thanks, if you live in australia (it's actually a small town, not a country, and we are all in walking distance of each other) come over! I'm bored and drinking alone. :|. School soon. (monday)

School soon? What? I don't start for two months... My year is Sept-April.
 #12 
Old 2007-07-14, 14:55
tricky tricky is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

vic..
 #13 
Old 2007-07-14, 15:15
Mephistos Minion Mephistos Minion is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

I'm Aussie too! In Tasmania of all places.
 #14 
Old 2007-07-14, 15:21
Incompetent Noob Incompetent Noob is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

WIKIPEDIA TO THE RESCUE
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:HumanVulva-NewText-PhiloViv.jpg
 #15 
Old 2007-07-14, 15:39
Moderator
 
Canada
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Second star to the right and straight on till morning.

She may have been quite nervous and clenching.
 #16 
Old 2007-07-14, 16:00
spaawn7 spaawn7 is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

My sentiments exactly
 #17 
Old 2007-07-14, 17:25
stab stab is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Suggest waiting until you're older.
 #18 
Old 2007-07-14, 18:03
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

"Ok! You can have sex with me."

I don't get it? It sounds like she wasn't ready for it.
 #19 
Old 2007-07-14, 18:16
Regular
 
Bay Area, Ca
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by Volcanbaru
"Ok! You can have sex with me."

I don't get it? It sounds like she wasn't ready for it.


It sounds like he was continuously begging her until she finally gave in. The joys of being a teenager...
 #20 
Old 2007-07-14, 19:33
Regular
 
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

~sigh~

Step 1 : two in the pink, one in the stink.

Step 2 : spread your two fingers 'n slip something between them.

Step 3 : ???

Step 4 : CHILD SUPPORT!!!!
 #21 
Old 2007-07-14, 19:35
chickenpoop chickenpoop is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

follow the slit down until you find where it gives away a little more...thats the hole...since she's a virgin she's going to be really tight....you'll probably need to loosen her up a little with your fingers...thatll also get her wet and help get you in there. good luck. and post pics.
 #22 
Old 2007-07-14, 19:36
missing_cipher missing_cipher is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Chip Shop Guy
Its at the bottom.

Lower than you first think, well, it was lower than I first thought.


hehe, me too.
 #23 
Old 2007-07-14, 19:48
rageoholic rageoholic is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

You should maybe use just your hand/fingers on her for a little while. Even eat her out! ge your face in there and se the hole with very own two eyes! Don't rush when you don't know what you're doing just to "lose yor virginity and become a man" play it cool, you'll know when it's time.
 #24 
Old 2007-07-14, 19:59
ihatehippies ihatehippies is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

one thing to point out... if shes not ready, the whole experience will suck. She probably will be tighter than normal, and neither of you will enjoy it at any degree, and it will hurt, a lot, yeah, for you too.
 #25 
Old 2007-07-14, 20:38
PinkFloyd830 PinkFloyd830 is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

You can't run home without passing 2nd and 3rd base!

but seriously, you should gain more finger experience before you jump into sex, you need to make sure she is wet before you put your wang in her, otherwise it will be enjoyable for no one!
 #26 
Old 2007-07-14, 21:04
Regular
 
Yami no tensai
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

I've never fingered her except this one time when i scratched the shit out of her insides...

Clip your fingernails, n00b.
 #27 
Old 2007-07-14, 21:15
soopisgoodfood soopisgoodfood is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

I pulls my dick out throws the condom on him

Subliminal messages.

It was a man, and you can't find your own asshole.
 #28 
Old 2007-07-14, 21:28
Jerk&CleanIt Jerk&CleanIt is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Don't rush it. Make sure you guys have an hour or two alone, and get a lot of foreplay in. It'll be a lot better for both of you guys.
 #29 
Old 2007-07-15, 04:02
riseofthedarkside riseofthedarkside is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerk&CleanIt
Don't rush it. Make sure you guys have an hour or two alone, and get a lot of foreplay in. It'll be a lot better for both of you guys.


Foreplay always works well to get everything just right....so yeah, go with that.....trust me...I know;)

(Dont ask how I know....I just fucking know, mmk?!...lolz, just kidding:p)

Just take ur time and have fun, otherwise you'll hate it and she'll hate it even more.......Best of luck to you!!!
 #30 
Old 2007-07-15, 04:13
MH-iforgotmypassword MH-iforgotmypassword is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

but seriously, you should gain more finger experience before you jump into sex

mfQFmfT

Lower, sorta coming up into her instead of straight into her. And its kinna nice being a virgin. Don't screw her just cause she said you could. Besides, if you wait till she's begging you're in control of the relationship, which means, if nothing else, you get to watch better movies.
 #31 
Old 2007-07-15, 06:02
Regular
 
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

One of two things, 1) she wasn't yet wet, which is probably it. Without this, it can be very hard to accomplish. More foreplay, please. or 2) you weren't very erect, you need to be 80% or fuller erect, especially her being a virgin
 #32 
Old 2007-07-15, 06:17
Regular
 
Minneapolis
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

This is what porn is for, so you know these things.
 #33 
Old 2007-07-15, 06:37
Xpenguin17 Xpenguin17 is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uri
Wednesday night I was with my girlfriend and she said I could have sex with her. So I takes her to the back of the car and we get to kissing and touching and licking and shit and then she, being afraid that her mother is going to wake up and notice that she isn't in the house says lets just get to the fucking. I pulls my dick out throws the condom on him and proceed to stick it in and honest to God scout's honor it won't go in. I did everything I could, fucking bent it like a bow almost and still, no give. Then I had her get on top of me and try to guide it in, but still no go. I believe that I just couldn't find the hole but I know she knows where that fucker is(I'm a virgin, so is she). I've never fingered her except this one time when i scratched the shit out of her insides and I'm totally fucking clueless, she's on her period now but she said we could try again tuesday or thereabouts. I need fucking help, I can't go in there and fail that badly again.


K, listen up kid: you can't successfully penetrate her cunt when she's tensed up, you gotta excite her, make her feel comfortable. Also, you'll never be able to enter her if you can't maintain an erection. If I were you I'd give her head first (be creative, don't be some douchenozzle limey fuckbag) as soon she's really wet, you know you're ready to tap that pussy. It would be preferable for her to be on top, that way you don't gotta do anything -- just sit back and enjoy her tight cunt milking your cock. But in the case that she wants to be the one to lay back: just position your cock at her entrance and thrust HARD to break her cherry, it will make her squeak at first but just continue pumping and her squeals of pain will soon turn into moans.

Happy fucking.

Peace.
 #34 
Old 2007-07-15, 06:38
Tarchi Tarchi is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

A couple things could of happened here, what I would think to of happened is that she wasn't wet, so you weren't SLIDEING in, as would suppose to happen.
(Or if she's extremely tight it's more of a pushing, pushing, pushing, plop[that's a bad sound explanation isn't it?])

Anyways, another thing could be that she wasn't wet at all and you were pushing up against her clitoral hoodish area(What's that area called again, guys? or did I get it right?) and it wasn't sliding down and in like it should, get her wet next time(finger her[trim your damn finger nails you nasty bastard] by licking you fingers and sliding up and down her slit from the clitoris down to the actual vaginal opening, then put in your middle finger and slide it in and out, when shes WET, I'm talking like the fucking Nile River wet, THEN put it in, but not before)

Now what I would REALLY suggest is waiting dude. Seriously, Wait. You don't want to fuck things up like that. I got my first girlfriend I had sex with pregnant. Luckily enough her parents don't mind abortion. Wait until you're really ready in the relationship to put something like that in top priority.

Don't EVER beg to have sex or take a girls virginity unless you are, in fact, a dick. Though, owing to this being Totse it's almost full of Dicks, funny ones anyways. But still, women cherish their virginity, it's something they want to give to the man they will live with forever, and if you fuck it up for them... god that's fucked, if you think you might leave her(if you're a teenager, you've got about a 85% chance of that happening), Don't do it, unless she honestly doesn't care in which case she'd be something like a slut, which sluts are good. So just think it over man.
That's just my 2%.

Oh and edit: So you don't feel like one of the only ones, I thought it was higher then it really is too, it's literally the bottom of their torso, so aim for that.
 #35 
Old 2007-07-15, 06:42
pyroman5000 pyroman5000 is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

The hole you're looking for is between her legs.
 #36 
Old 2007-07-15, 07:55
Uri Uri is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Thanks everyone, especially MH for that tip about who gets to watch what movies. For everyone else's information, I'm not begging her, she suggested we mosey on to the car and suggested we fuck. I'm perfectly happy perfecting my foreplay but if she says lets fuck i'm gonna fuck, unless... you know, I can't find the hole again.
 #37 
Old 2007-07-15, 08:00
Nwalmaer Nwalmaer is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarchi
A couple things could of happened here, what I would think to of happened is that she wasn't wet, so you weren't SLIDEING in, as would suppose to happen.
(Or if she's extremely tight it's more of a pushing, pushing, pushing, plop[that's a bad sound explanation isn't it?])

Anyways, another thing could be that she wasn't wet at all and you were pushing up against her clitoral hoodish area(What's that area called again, guys? or did I get it right?) and it wasn't sliding down and in like it should, get her wet next time(finger her[trim your damn finger nails you nasty bastard] by licking you fingers and sliding up and down her slit from the clitoris down to the actual vaginal opening, then put in your middle finger and slide it in and out, when shes WET, I'm talking like the fucking Nile River wet, THEN put it in, but not before)

Now what I would REALLY suggest is waiting dude. Seriously, Wait. You don't want to fuck things up like that. I got my first girlfriend I had sex with pregnant. Luckily enough her parents don't mind abortion. Wait until you're really ready in the relationship to put something like that in top priority.

Don't EVER beg to have sex or take a girls virginity unless you are, in fact, a dick. Though, owing to this being Totse it's almost full of Dicks, funny ones anyways. But still, women cherish their virginity, it's something they want to give to the man they will live with forever, and if you fuck it up for them... god that's fucked, if you think you might leave her(if you're a teenager, you've got about a 85% chance of that happening), Don't do it, unless she honestly doesn't care in which case she'd be something like a slut, which sluts are good. So just think it over man.
That's just my 2%.

Oh and edit: So you don't feel like one of the only ones, I thought it was higher then it really is too, it's literally the bottom of their torso, so aim for that.




Dude you should write a book
An idiots guide to sex


LMAO only totse
 #38 
Old 2007-07-15, 08:30
Tarchi Tarchi is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Dude you should write a book
An idiots guide to sex


LMAO only totse

HONESTLY sex isn't all that hard. Though now reading what I said it kind of does sound like a "Sex for DUMMIES" book doesn't it?
 #39 
Old 2007-07-15, 10:28
Regular
 
New Zealand
Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Lol.... You're a virgin, and the first time you were going to have sex, you couldn't find her hole.

Fucking owned.
 #40 
Old 2007-07-15, 12:07
kashel kashel is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

omg i know...

school starts on monday for me..

lets meet up
 #41 
Old 2007-07-15, 15:15
dark_rider_666 dark_rider_666 is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Just put it in her butt.

*BUT I POOP FROM THERE!*
 #42 
Old 2007-07-15, 17:49
Miagi Miagi is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

(Or if she's extremely tight it's more of a pushing, pushing, pushing, plop[that's a bad sound explanation isn't it?])
.

hahahahahhaha
 #43 
Old 2007-07-15, 20:38
riseofthedarkside riseofthedarkside is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Originally Posted by Tarchi:
(Or if she's extremely tight it's more of a pushing, pushing, pushing, plop[that's a bad sound explanation isn't it?])

Lmao......very descriptive there.......lawlz!:D
 #44 
Old 2007-07-15, 22:32
Sick_Boy Sick_Boy is offline
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Default Re: Need help locating the hole. I swear to god

Haha, there was a situation like this in Irvine Welsh's "Glue".

A character was trying to lose his virginity but he couldn't find the hole. But then he realised that if he pushed the little button above the hole it would open...lol!

But yeah, I don't think there's anything else I can say that hasn't already been said. Good luck and don't forget to post pics!
 
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