So my husband accidently left like this chat type internet conversation open yesterday and I read it. It turned out to be a master slave type conversation he was having with some woman online. I'm not sure what to think, because on the one hand the woman lives in Washington so I know he's not sleeping with her...But on the other hand I feel it's innappropriate for him to be having a conversation like that with her. I don't understand why he'd want to talk that way to another woman...Even if he has no intention of actually cheating on me.

I also don't know if I should even bring it up to him that I saw his conversation. On the one hand it really was innapropriate, but on the other hand it's not like they were making plans to meet up or run away together.

What do you guys think?

Thats horrible...

I'd be pretty pissed too, and I sure as hell don't think i'd be able to keep it quiet.

Is that the sort of thing that you and your husband indulge in in real life?

Why were you reading his private conversations?

That aside, just ask him about it; if he means to hide it, he's probably up to no good.

I thought it was a bloodninja conversation...And then once I saw what it was I couldn't just STOP reading it!

This is a tricky one, and only you can define what exactly is "cheating". Whereas he didn't physically touch her, are you bothered by the fact that a DIFFERENT woman was giving him sexual gratification? Heck, I know in some relationships where people believe their spouses are "emotionally" cheating just by opening up to someone of the opposite sex....and even though no sexual conversations are taking place, they are still jealous or feel threatened by the intimacy that develops. Again, its only YOUR call to make in regard to what parameters you feel comfortable with in your marriage.

Has he ever explored or hinted about the S & M with you? Is his libido higher than yours, wanting sex more often than you and he is just using the computer to alleviate his needs since you aren't wanting to accomadate as frequently as he wants sex? What role is he playing in these chats? Is it a similar role to the one he plays out in your bedroom, or is he "flipping" the playing field and perhaps exploring this with a stranger out of possible embarrasement not wanting to ask you to try it as well? Is any of this something that would interest you in the least?

Don't mention the convo that you found, but let him know that you want to do some kinkier shit. Maybe he is embarrassed about it but really wants to do that stuff with you.

He just wants some good old fashioned S&M, and you being the proper Georgia housewife he feels like you wouldn't provide it. :p

But seriously, since he is basically just exploring something non-standard and alternative here, I doubt it is a problem with you, he just happens to want a little spice. I would suggest you bring up S&M to him, see if he'd be down with it. If he is, then I would bet he will discontinue these conversations.

How do you feel about it?

I don't know...I'm not exactly threatened by the "other woman" bacause she lives so far away and he wasn't professing his undying love for her or anything. She was actually...Kind of pathetic to be honest. Like she kept begging him to stay online longer and she kept talking about how she didn't have any friends and how she was so lonley and even her 6 year old sister hates her. Where it would normally enrage me to see some wanton slut throwing herself at my husband...This woman just kind of made me sad.

Damn that doesn't sound like a good situation, you should probably confront him about it. If I were you i would definitely be suspicious about what else he's got going on around town with other ladies. :(

Umm, sooo....


Was he the master or the pet?

He was the master.

Well then, your job is gonna be easy.

If he was the master he might just have been doing it out of pity. In either case I would suggest you be honest and tell him you thought it was a bloodninja conversation and that you found out. Then you can find out what he was his intentions were for sure, and maybe even get dominate.

DaGuru seems to know what he's talking about.

I can't comment really, short of a stupid witty remark...and even that would be more stupid than witty.

Why aren't I surprised?

So jack?? Please elaborate in as non-sexist a way as possible?

i would assume he uncomfortable bringing up that kind of stuff with you, but wants to get something like it some where...

where in GA are you?

Augusta.

And we've done some S&M stuff...I mean not hardcore or anything, but I would say mildly kinky. *Blushes a brilliant crimson*

Well he obviously has this urge and it has only been strengthened over the years by your fem-nazi domineering 'equal rights' personality and your view of marriage. ..ooops I mean 'partnership'.

The recent 'babysitting' incident was a good example.

Oh and make no mistake he IS commiting adultery.

And if not this one then he'll meet the next one.

You fucked up and he's a jerk.

you shouldnt have been reading his conversation, im sure more men do this than youd think. He isnt cheating. Its no worse than him looking at porn.

then again, just ask him whats going on.

Cut his dick off and throw it out the window.


Kidding.


Actually, I think you should assume the "slave" role, but take it so far you scare him out of S&M. :) The fact he's doing it online sort of tells me he's scared of doing it irl.

Well he obviously has this urge and it has only been strengthened over the years by your fem-nazi domineering 'equal rights' personality and your view of marriage. ..ooops I mean 'partnership'.

The recent 'babysitting' incident was a good example.

Oh and make no mistake he IS commiting adultery.

And if not this one then he'll meet the next one.

You fucked up and he's a jerk.
He really didn't sound like he had any interest in meeting her. I checked the conversation most carefully for any...Hidden meaning. I don't know how serious any of it is to him...I mean he might just be pretending for fun.

And I'm NOT a "feminazi" just because I don't submit to his every whim! I'm a person with some intelligence and education...Not just an ornament there for some man's enjoyment. My husband isn't sexist like that and he wouldn't cheat on me just because I did something that annoyed him.

Xiao....please don't take this as accusing in any way, its just a concept I've never understood with certain couples. How is it you can share a house, car, name, bedroom and kids with a person......yet not have the confidence to talk about sex with them?

When I saw this in hot topics, I thought it would be you

He really didn't sound like he had any interest in meeting her. I checked the conversation most carefully for any...Hidden meaning. I don't know how serious any of it is to him...I mean he might just be pretending for fun.

And I'm NOT a "feminazi" just because I don't submit to his every whim! I'm a person with some intelligence and education...Not just an ornament there for some man's enjoyment. My husband isn't sexist like that and he wouldn't cheat on me just because I did something that annoyed him.

Xiao, if he didn't tell you about this conversation and doesn't want you to know about it then he is committing adultery in spirit. And take it from someone who knows physical adultery will follow, sure as the pope wears a funny hat. Maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe not this year but it'll come.

And I'm NOT a "feminazi" just because I don't submit to his every whim! I'm a person with some intelligence and education...Not just an ornament there for some man's enjoyment. Uhm I rest my case.

Its not about you annoying him, its about him not 1.feeling able to talk his urges with you 2.two you strengthening those urges by your 'brattyness'.

Let me put it real simple (if too simplistic). When you refused to give up babysitting and accused him of being unreasonable he ached to put your bratty arse over his knee.

Well if he had, his bratty balls would've been smashed by MY knee.

And me having my own life and opinion does not make me "bratty" in the first place.

Well if he had, his bratty balls would've been smashed by MY knee.

And you wonder why he looks for the e-company of a submissive woman?

Screens or it didn't happen.

And me having my own life and opinion does not make me "bratty" in the first place.

*waits for the 'So There!*

You see?

We do talk about sex...And it's like I said, we HAVE done some S&M stuff. I mean, it's not a lifestyle or anything and I don't take it seriously, but I'm willing to experiment.

*waits for the 'So There!*

You see?

I wasn't going to say, "So there," Jack. I was stating my personal view.

I wasn't going to say, "So there," Jack. I was stating my personal view.

I know. But thats what your comment sounded like, like a brat who was about to add a 'so there' at the end.

Look the simple fact is he didn't tell you about this. That says it all. Now you can confront him and choose to believe whatever excuse he comes up with (like it was all a joke is favourite).

But the long and short is he was cheating.

And will do it again and at some point for real unless something changes in YOU.

Yes that IS unfair.

And you wonder why he looks for the e-company of a submissive woman?

It's shockingly obvious that you aren't giving him what he wants in bed.

Just go with it, and join in with a friend. Sex can be great with more than 2 people. ^^

Don't even think about 'giving him what he wants' at the moment. It's quite a backstabbing thing, and I'd say as his wife, you have every right to say, "what's this?" (even if you did come across it by accident)

This will only bug you and bug you, and you don't deserve that at all.

I would also add, that you probably shouldn't ask "what's this?" with a "pissed off" intonation. Instead I'd act as if you're a bit amused by it, and maybe tease him about it a bit.

the other woman from Washington has a 6 year old sister?

Well, from the sound of it, the girl from Washington is 13-14 herself.

Or, she could as well be a guy. It's the internets, after all.

Well, from the sound of it, the girl from Washington is 13-14 herself.

Or, she could as well be a guy. It's the internets, after all.

Yes, exactly how old is this other "woman"?

Also, what's bloodninja?

Yes, exactly how old is this other "woman"?

Also, what's bloodninja?

Bloodninja: http://www.bash.org/?search=bloodninja&sort=0&show=25

This stuff is hilarious.

That's so fucked up.

It makes me so upset to read your threads, Xiao. I cant deal with reading them anymore. You're a great person and you're with this sick, bullying, dominant prick who gets nasty about you caring for a few kids but thinks it's perfectly okay to fuck about with some bitch.


:(


*leaves thread*

I'm sure they'll work things out, together.
Every couple goes through upsetting periods in their relationships. It's just that some actually try to get through the bad periods and actually make their relationship stronger, while others tend to just break everything, forgetting about all the good moments they had together.

*adds optimism to the thread*

I can't believe I'm the first horny young man to say "have intersex with me for revenge"

So, without further ado, have intersex with me for revenge.

I lol'd.

What she said.

Oh my fucking god just ask him about it already. This thread is 5 pages long! You could have asked him a million times over by now. The only way you are going to get a truthful answer is by asking your husband. Not jacketch or any of the other million Totseans, your husband.

Well, from the sound of it, the girl from Washington is 13-14 herself.

Or, she could as well be a guy. It's the internets, after all.

13-14? But this is someone's husband shes talking to.
Then again, its true. It is the internet. She could have a penis.

She could say as much as she wants that she looks like this:
http://www.metalinjection.net/babe/486.jpg

But It wont change the fact that she may look like this:
http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/d/d9/Speedos_for_jesus.jpg/180px-Speedos_for_jesus.jpg

Damn it! Why didn't I think of that?

OKAY!

Well I did ask him about it and he said it was just something he does for fun...Like for laughs. I asked him why he never told me about it and he said he figured I'd get all pissed off and take it the wrong way.:/ Then he showed me some pictures that the woman had sent him and he assured me that he found her to be physically repulsive. She was rather unnattractive. He then went on to say that I have nothing to worry about and that he only loves me.

Then I brought up his other internet relationship and he told me that he just likes talking to these people pretty much for sadistic fun. He says that the two women are both ugly, lonley and desperate and he finds it amusing to see how they debase themselves just for a little internet attention. When I expressed horror at his callous treatment of these women, he said that I'm too soft hearted and that those women deserve to be sad and alone.

So now this has opened a whole new can of worms, so to speak. I mean I'm glad he's not pining after other women...But it's disturbing to think that he likes to be so mean!

We can't go past 2nd base.

Now you can confront him and choose to believe whatever excuse he comes up with (like it was all a joke is favourite).


Xiao, witness the prophecy Jack just described above about 5 hours before you confronted him and reported back to us. Notice how dead on he is? The point is, your husband is full of shit. I don't know of ANY man that will give a woman that he doesn't find attractive in some way any more time than is absolutely necessary.

He came up with a feeble, predictable EXCUSE and will now just do a better job of hiding this from you in the future. Just for shits and giggles, go install a keylogger and come back to us in a month and tell us how "innocently" he is treating these other women.

BULLSEYE JACK!

We can't go past 2nd base.

*waits for Jack's reply*

Keylogger.

he needs for spice in his sexual relationship.

Xiao, your husband is scum.

Xiao, worst case scenario is that your husband is getting sexual satisfaction from other women and is in fact cheating on you, and is straight out lying about it.

Best case scenario is that your husband is a sick, sadistic person who gets his kicks out of degrading other people and laughing about their misfortunes.

I think this would fall under the heading of a lose-lose situation.

To be honest, I understand what is he doing. I used to do same exactly shit, it's just amusing how these girls NEEDED to talk to me through on the computer. I just fuck with them and tell them to fuck someone in real life...and they failed at that too.

If you think about it, it's same thing as girl lending guy on(as in teasing). Except that the internet is....too easy, ya know?

Nope, that’s totally NOT on and you officially have the right to be pissed.
Maybe I wouldn't take it so seriously if he were a boyfriend, but this is your HUSBAND, you have a child together, this is boarderline cheating in my opinion. How can you seriously keep defending him? Yoyo is totally right.





Oh and Jack, fem-nazi women can still be submissive ;)

But then again, not all men are threatened by dominant females :p

Oh and Jack, fem-nazi women can still be submissive ;)


PIx or it didn't happen!

So jack, what do you think should she do now? How do they change and/or work things out with each other?

Should she tell him she knows, and how should she approach that conversation?

If I remember correctly, this is not the first online thing he's had.

Something, indeed, is missing. And, I'm fairly convinced it's something that goes straight to the heart. (I think, that you of all people, know what I mean by that.)



*chuckles*

You beat me to some of that. Kinda, sorta. :P

The same answer as I give to almost all marital problems. She has to realise that she's in a marriage and not an 'equal partnership'. The two parts have to become one.

How she'd go about that I don't know because most of her own identity and sense of self worth seems based on confrontation with her husband.

Also its difficult cos her husband is a jerk (thats a technical term btw).

Actually the two are the same thing or aspects of the same thing.

It does sound like it's more about the sadism than the sex of it. That's a little further than I would go, intentionally pwning someone online with no intention to fight back, but it's definitely conceivable that someone would want to do that.

OMG don't tell me you actually bought that pile of dingo's kidneys?! I did credit you with some intelligence.

I wish now I had been more explict in my 'prophecy' and had mentioned plausible deniablity. After the 'its a joke' defence its the next step to pull the wool over your eyes.

Often he'll say something detracting about her physique like " and have you seen the size of her tits...ewwwww?" (if for example you know he likes boobs of a certain size).

Xiao I tell you either he has already got naked photos of her doing the things he commanded or he was planning to.Now he knows that you know he's going to be more careful.

But these things almost always follow a pattern.

Sure everyone is different but...

DEAL WITH THIS NOW OR YOUR MARRIAGE IS DEAD

No he won't leave or cheat in the flesh on you yet, he loves you and his daughter too much for that at the moment but trust me he will.

I know. Been there. Done that and seen it countless times.

After reading every post in this thread I can safely say the best thing to do is get him in the crippler cross face. Pull a Chris Benoit.

Xiao, if your husband got accidentally murdered by some shmuch trying to mug him, or if he got killed in a freakish accident, would you inherit his home and things?
Would you get a widows allowance or similar?
Or would you be out on your ass?

I've got a little.. thing that might work. It's just paper and some candles and blood really, but I can try it if you like.
Email me perhaps?

nood pics of yourself on totse... thatd really show him

No, don't do that. Since you now know, you can be right there when he's online "having fun".

I'm sure he wouldn't mind since it's only for fun. :D

You're right, he let me watch him just this morning, because...I still did doubt him entirely. It was kind of upsetting to watch, because he really was just being so...callous with these women. I guess it's good, though, because he's always sweet to me, or at least most of the time.:P Then he showed me all of the e-mails from the two women that he still had in his inbox and I saw that it wasn't even really sexual from his end. The communications mainly seemed to be those women throwing themselves at him in the most...Pathetic way possible and him advising them to fuck other men and to do whatever he (my husband) told them. The two women really do just seem to be extremely alone and willing to do anything for some human interaction.:(

Anyway, he has agreed to let me continue to see both sides of the communications for as long as I want. He swears up and down that he would never want to cheat on me and that if he lost me he would want to die. I've assured him that he's already on his second chance and that if he steps out on me I'm leaving for good.

I don't really understand why he's doing what he's doing...But I guess it's not something to be MAD about...Just worried.

Oh....and if what he was telling you was the truth. I would be so very ashamed of him.
I know...I keep thinking that these are REAL women out there somewhere. I don't think he sees them that way because it's online or something.

I hope you can be bothered reading this after so many replies, I only read your post, but the answer is obvious (and coming from a 16 year old):

Answer = Your husband(or boyfriend I don't remember), is embarassed about his fetish and does not want to talk about it. The best thing you can do is talk to him about this - be completely open about how you found out, and tell the truth :).

if you are joking, I love you :D.

if you aren't joking, You scare me :(.

I don't understand why he'd want to talk that way to another woman...Even if he has no intention of actually cheating on me.


What, really?

You're right, he let me watch him just this morning, because...I still did doubt him entirely. It was kind of upsetting to watch, because he really was just being so...callous with these women. I guess it's good, though, because he's always sweet to me, or at least most of the time.:P Then he showed me all of the e-mails from the two women that he still had in his inbox and I saw that it wasn't even really sexual from his end. The communications mainly seemed to be those women throwing themselves at him in the most...Pathetic way possible and him advising them to fuck other men and to do whatever he (my husband) told them. The two women really do just seem to be extremely alone and willing to do anything for some human interaction.:(

Anyway, he has agreed to let me continue to see both sides of the communications for as long as I want. He swears up and down that he would never want to cheat on me and that if he lost me he would want to die. I've assured him that he's already on his second chance and that if he steps out on me I'm leaving for good.

I don't really understand why he's doing what he's doing...But I guess it's not something to be MAD about...Just worried.

And you fell for this??!


*walks away from thread sadly shaking head*

I'm willing to bet that given root for half an hour I could find the real stuff on his computer (or rather where he keeps it on the web because I assume he isn't totally retarded).

He's letting you see his smoke screen (second line of defence).

No doubt he offered to stop talking to them if you so wish and maybe even offered you the password to his email account.

This thread is sad and more than a bit revolting.

He enjoyed twisting the lives of lonely women...aren't there more interesting hobbies?

And you fell for this??!


*walks away from thread sadly shaking head*

I'm willing to bet that given root for half an hour I could find the real stuff on his computer (or rather where he keeps it on the web because I assume he isn't totally retarded).

He's letting you see his smoke screen (second line of defence).

No doubt he offered to stop talking to them if you so wish and maybe even offered you the password to his email account.
No he didn't, actually.:P

Maybe he is lying to me and I'm being too trusting...But you can't have a relationship where you're suspicious all of the time. I mean he doesn't lie to me about where he goes or anything and he spends all of his free time with his family. It's not like he tells me he's going to work and then he goes out...He hasn't given me reason to really doubt him for over 7 years. If he wants to have some online fun, I see that as pretty harmless...Like if he was looking at porn or something.

Also...I just don't think he has it in him to be conniving enough to have a smokescreen prepared for if I "caught" him. My husband isn't exactly an advance thinking kind of guy.:P

I don't know...My shrink says that my husband is "codependant" towards me and that he's too obsessed with me and that he needs other friends. He also says that my husband has me up on a pedastal and that he degrades other women because he thinks they're all whores except me. He says that this is a precarious situation, because if I ever fell off of the pedastal...My husband would turn on me and hate me like he does every other woman. I'm not really sure if my husband has that kind of...Depth, but my shrink ALSO says that I'M not very aware of other people's feelings.:P

So there you have it.

I... I kinda agree with jacks last few posts...

*is in utter disbelief*

Xiao your husband has got you sooooo backwards its painful to see, really.

No he didn't, actually.:P

Maybe he is lying to me and I'm being too trusting...But you can't have a relationship where you're suspicious all of the time. I mean he doesn't lie to me about where he goes or anything and he spends all of his free time with his family. It's not like he tells me he's going to work and then he goes out...He hasn't given me reason to really doubt him for over 7 years. If he wants to have some online fun, I see that as pretty harmless...Like if he was looking at porn or something.

Also...I just don't think he has it in him to be conniving enough to have a smokescreen prepared for if I "caught" him. My husband isn't exactly an advance thinking kind of guy.:P

I don't know...My shrink says that my husband is "codependant" towards me and that he's too obsessed with me and that he needs other friends. He also says that my husband has me up on a pedastal and that he degrades other women because he thinks they're all whores except me. He says that this is a precarious situation, because if I ever fell off of the pedastal...My husband would turn on me and hate me like he does every other woman. I'm not really sure if my husband has that kind of...Depth, but my shrink ALSO says that I'M not very aware of other people's feelings.:P

So there you have it.

Have you asked yourself HOW and WHERE online he managed to meet these women who are desperate for abuse? And what he was doing there in the first place?

Oh I suppose he just opened his email one morning to find a 'I don't know you but I need you to degrade me' email?

You don't accidently stumble across this kind of woman. He was there (on a site or on an IM) looking for something and he was looking for a reason.

One of the women he met on a forum like totse called....Zercon or something. I'm not sure how to spell it, but he's talked a lot about it to me. He might've met the second woman there too...I don't know. Neither one of them lives here in Augusta, though. The one lives in Washington state and the other one lives in Arizona.

Whether Jack's right or whether her husband is telling the truth, it's not a good situation. I hope it all works out, Xiao.

And for what it's worth, I don't really buy his story either. It sounds exactly like a made-up spur-of-the-moment lie.

I don't know...My shrink says that my husband is "codependant" towards me and that he's too obsessed with me and that he needs other friends. He also says that my husband has me up on a pedastal and that he degrades other women because he thinks they're all whores except me. He says that this is a precarious situation, because if I ever fell off of the pedastal...My husband would turn on me and hate me like he does every other woman. I'm not really sure if my husband has that kind of...Depth, but my shrink ALSO says that I'M not very aware of other people's feelings.:P

Your shrink just fed you the biggest pile of bullshit. . . honestly now. I agree with Jackketch completely on this regardless of the obvious lack of trust in the goodness of mankind.

And, in the rare case that your shrink got it right on the penny, I want to know: Why the hell would you marry a guy that (according to the above) is pathetic and has a hatred-issue with the female kind?

Your piece-of-shit husband sounds like the kind of kid that was pushed around in elementary school and plotted to kill all his teachers by the time puberty kicked in.

You need to pull a George Reeves on that guy-make it look like suicide

Naahh, my husband is a sweetheart...He just can be an asshole sometimes! After what we've lived through together...What we have is bigger than any fight.

And my shrink seems to know what he's talking about...Except when he tells me to take medication.;)

No he didn't, actually.:P

Maybe he is lying to me and I'm being too trusting...But you can't have a relationship where you're suspicious all of the time. I mean he doesn't lie to me about where he goes or anything and he spends all of his free time with his family. It's not like he tells me he's going to work and then he goes out...He hasn't given me reason to really doubt him for over 7 years. If he wants to have some online fun, I see that as pretty harmless...Like if he was looking at porn or something.

Also...I just don't think he has it in him to be conniving enough to have a smokescreen prepared for if I "caught" him. My husband isn't exactly an advance thinking kind of guy.:P

I don't know...My shrink says that my husband is "codependant" towards me and that he's too obsessed with me and that he needs other friends. He also says that my husband has me up on a pedastal and that he degrades other women because he thinks they're all whores except me. He says that this is a precarious situation, because if I ever fell off of the pedastal...My husband would turn on me and hate me like he does every other woman. I'm not really sure if my husband has that kind of...Depth, but my shrink ALSO says that I'M not very aware of other people's feelings.:P

So there you have it.

people really dont have a clue these days... sign of the times

I guess what it boils down to is if you're okay with it.

Maybe he's just the right kind of asshole for you.

/shrugs

If it works, it works. If you're happy, be happy. :)

email me please

I guess what it boils down to is if you're okay with it.

Maybe he's just the right kind of asshole for you.

/shrugs

If it works, it works. If you're happy, be happy. :)
It's one of those things where I'm not so much happy about it...But I'm not overly pissed off about it either.:P

am i the only one who doesnt think her husband is lieing...?
0.o?

*hands up*

I think he may be embellishing the truth (ie he finds it somewhat hot and it's not all just for fun), but lying outright seems unlikely.

Perhaps were just honest folk and can't understand who deceit works, unlike all you bold faced liars

That's one thing good about him...He's not a dishonest person by nature, so that's one reason I believe him. I think he did downplay how exciting it was, but I probably would too in his position.:D

Keep your eyes open through..

Well...Yeah.

even her 6 year old sister hates her. Where it would normally enrage me to see some wanton slut throwing herself at my husband...This woman just kind of made me sad.

Uh, her "6 year old sister"? How old is this "woman" anyway, or do you know? You might have a little more to be concerned if he's screwing around online with some underage girl. That affects you, real life or not.

She's 25...I guess one of her parents remarried or something. My husband is definitely NOT into teenagers.:P He's going to be 32 in October!

he probably is just emberessed to admit he likes kinky stuff like that, and actually wants to do it with you. im willing to bet if you suggest it when you guys are alone, having sex, etc. he will be more than happy to stop talking to people online about it, and do it with you.

Uh, her "6 year old sister"? How old is this "woman" anyway, or do you know? You might have a little more to be concerned if he's screwing around online with some underage girl. That affects you, real life or not.

Actually I assumed she was lying and its really her kid...and probably not 6 but 16.

Ooooh I can only hope so and that she looks like this:
http://tinyurl.com/yw242h
In real life!:P

i'd be a twee bit gob smacked, and pretty upset. then i'd wonder why he couldn't try to have that with me, and i'd get myself into a bit of a tizz and end up asking him about it in some really meek and wimpy way.
so, hmm, ask him about it