Hi
I"ll try to make this short, i need some advice i dont know what to do or think anymore

Some of you might know my story i have a girlfriend on totse too, we've been goign out for a little over a year and a half. We spend everyday together and we sleep together everynight, but we're secret, no one in our world knows that we're a couple.

Throughout our relationship i've always wanted more space, and she's always wanted to be with me all the time, we havent ever really sorted that out, but i just got used to it and lived with being with her constantly

A few weeks ago i met a guy, she actually introduced us, and we hit it off. We're officially going out now, i have a boyfriend and a girlfriend...

But now ojise, my gf, is mad, she's angry and she scares me. I sort of tried to break up with her a couple days ago, it didnt stick....

Last night i was hanging out with my boyfriend, and she calls in tears because she's had a fight with her mom, so i invited her over and the three of us hung out...

She got drunk at my house, and i drove her home, with my bf following us so that i could get back. She freaked out on the car ride home, told me i was ditching her, and when we got to her house she attacked me in the street.

This shocked my bf, who now thinks she's crazy. And sometimes i think so too.

We're still talking but i dont konw what to do

Do i end it with her because she's too volitile and violent,

Do i end it with him and try to just go back to being how we were before

How can i keep being with both of them???

I dont know what to do, honestly any advice at all would be more than appreciated.

I"m sorry this has been long.

You bisexual people don't make it easy for yourselves.

Really and truly, you did a silly thing by getting with someone while you have someone else. That's cheating and as far as I am concerned you deserve what you get.

But to be a litlle nice, I'll say that you should go for the one you like more...The chick sounds like a waster but given the situation, I'd probably be doing the same thing, i.e going mental and feeling terribly depressed.
The guy...Well...He knew you guys were an item yet he still got with you. This would say he's either dumb or he thought "Wahey! Threesomes all round!"

The choice is all yours.

No one knows we're together

And we were in an open relationship, which i realise to alot of ppl doesnt exists but to me makes perfect sense

You cant get everything you need from a relationship when it's a secret, and for me at least, when its lesbian

Also how do you break up with ppl, how do you just end it, i cant break up with her i'm adcited or something, and she wont leave me alone, i dont forsee it being possible. I'm afraid of the consequences if i try to ignore her

I don't think you can be with both of them, it just wouldn't work out. You have to choose one or the other, whichever one you love and like being around more is the right choice. It might be a difficult decision, but it has to be done.

And what gender are you? It may play a small role in which one you should keep.

It was in secret, so in my mind anyways you weren't actually going out, so you owe her nothing. If she wont even acknowledge you two as being a couple, then she doesn't deserve exclusive access to your snatch.

Lol i'm a girl

and how can i judge who i love more

Obvioulsy i love her more, i've been with her for over a year and a half, i know her inside and out, she's just starting to scare me more and more and i feel suffocated

And i've only known him for like a month, i dont know anything substantial about him, i've never seen him angry... its not an easy choice,

i wish i knew what was better in the long run, but i cant figure it out.

we sleep together everynight, but we're secret, no one in our world knows that we're a couple.

Yeah... that's one of the benefits of nailing your sister.

Throughout our relationship i've always wanted more space, and she's always wanted to be with me all the time, we havent ever really sorted that out, but i just got used to it and lived with being with her constantly

~blinks~

I'll be damned... it's one of those few situations in which rape really is the answer!!

SRSLY SHE'D GIVE YOU SPACE!!

A few weeks ago i met a guy, she actually introduced us, and we hit it off. We're officially going out now, i have a boyfriend and a girlfriend...

Lol i'm a girl

pix plz.

She got drunk at my house, and i drove her home, with my bf following us so that i could get back. She freaked out on the car ride home, told me i was ditching her, and when we got to her house she attacked me in the street.

Cut her off from alcohol until she gets psychiatric help.

Do i end it with her because she's too volitile and violent,

Now that you mention it... yes. Cut her off from poon until she gets extreme psychiatric assistance... but after the pix.

Okay, I lied - I figured this nutjob needed extreme psychiatric assistance and you should get the fuck out of her sphere-of-whackjob before you mentioned it.

And we were in an open relationship, which i realise to alot of ppl doesnt exists but to me makes perfect sense

Normally, it'd make perfect sense to me.... but your gf isn't mentally healthy enough to be in an open relationship. Or any relationship.

I think she needs to wear the hug-me jacket while she talks to the nice, friendly professionals for a loooooong time before that can ever happen. Too bad. It sucks to care about people when they're a fucked-up headcase beyond words.

Have fun in life, dude. Visit her on visiting days 'n shit.

How do you know that I am crazy. She has done crazy things too. How bout we talk about you in one of your worst moments and make tons of negative conclusions.

Think about this: Your girlfriend forces you to go home and the boy says its because he was tired and this was the only way we could get everyone home without me driving INTOXICATED... not drunk perse.

And then they hang out for three more hours.

He treats me like shit and lies to me. He has never been nice to me and I am her best friend/the person who set them up.

He needs to learn some fucking respect because he is a bastard in many ways as well.

But of course I would never burn him its just that for some weird reason you are judging our situation on one experience and without knowing the guy who just the previous night was extremely close to getting into a fight with a stranger just because he pretending to c-walk in a mockingly way to make fun of him and his friend.

How bout the time my gf cried day after day because she didn't get into something and I laid in bed when she cried to me and I gave her all our anniversary presents early and then bought her more so she could know that someone loved her and that someone would always accept her.

What about the time she told me she was gay (I hadn't considered this about myself yet) I hugged her and told her she was basically my family and that I would always love her. the next day we hung out and i treated her normally and made jokes about is that girl hot... which made her laugh. The adjustment period was very fast.

What about the time that she got into a huge fight with her dad in her car and i grabbed her shoulder and touched her to try to make her feel better.

What about the time she got into a huge fight with her mom and was so devastated that she left to walk her dog as an excuse to leave and she was so upset that I held her hand in public something we never have done, nor thought she would. In that moment i would never let go. Her happiness and comfortability means the world to me.

I would never front. Ever. I would never say I'd be there and wouldn't be. I would hold her hand in the middle of the busiest street if she needed me to. She wouldn't have to ask. I would just know.

What about just the time that we've laughed. Hugged. Had inside jokes.

So judge me now. What about the good things I have done. Am I a crazy psychotic bitch who needs counselling? Or do I just need more adjustment time for her having a legitamate relationship while we are still in one

Why don't the two of you try discussing it in real life instead of airing your dirty laundry on totse?

How bout we talk about you in one of your worst moments and make tons of negative conclusions.

Luckily, I tend to wear my dirty laundry on my sleeve... hi! I'm a babyfucker devoted to a random policy of sweeping global revolution and radical reform! Occasionally, I get frustrated and considering just nuking the whole world! What's your life?

How do you know that I am crazy. She has done crazy things too.

Well... when your defense against "inadequate personal psychoemotional development" is "but... SHE'S a crazy bitch, too!!"... well, it's good evidence.

So, for that matter, is getting defensive so easily... but hey. 's all good.

Think about this: Your girlfriend forces you to go home and the boy says its because he was tired and this was the only way we could get everyone home without me driving INTOXICATED... not drunk perse.

And then they hang out for three more hours.

Mmm'kay. So I take it that an open relationship is not for you...

He treats me like shit and lies to me. He has never been nice to me and I am her best friend/the person who set them up.

He needs to learn some fucking respect because he is a bastard in many ways as well.

W00T! We're at a whopping total of THREE people who shouldn't be in a relationship till they straighten their shit out!! YAY!!!

But of course I would never burn him its just that for some weird reason you are judging our situation on one experience and without knowing the guy who just the previous night was extremely close to getting into a fight with a stranger just because he pretending to c-walk in a mockingly way to make fun of him and his friend.

...this being &t, I will proceed to make a few random "dykes with crabs" jokes.

How bout the time my gf cried day after day because she didn't get into something and I laid in bed when she cried to me and I gave her all our anniversary presents early and then bought her more so she could know that someone loved her and that someone would always accept her.

So, you're saying that you use material goods to compensate for your inability to adequately express your feelings in a positive fashion?

What about the time she told me she was gay (I hadn't considered this about myself yet) I hugged her and told her she was basically my family and that I would always love her. the next day we hung out and i treated her normally and made jokes about is that girl hot... which made her laugh. The adjustment period was very fast.

Okay... <3 That's sorta sweet...

What about the time that she got into a huge fight with her dad in her car and i grabbed her shoulder and touched her to try to make her feel better.

Yeah, I do that to random kids on the bus, or something... hell, so does half of totse.

What about the time she got into a huge fight with her mom and was so devastated that she left to walk her dog as an excuse to leave and she was so upset that I held her hand in public something we never have done, nor thought she would.

Ooooh! You... almost were less closeted! ITS LUV! YAY!

I would never front.

...well, that meshes poorly with the "I almost was slightly less closeted once," but okay.

Ever. I would never say I'd be there and wouldn't be.

This tells me a lot about your issues with your parents.

I would hold her hand in the middle of the busiest street if she needed me to. She wouldn't have to ask. I would just know.

Wow. You're reeeeaally obsessed on this "almost slightly less closeted" kick.

Somehow, as an out-and-proud soldier of the paederotic power bloc who has taken the shit for it, this somehow impresses me slightly less than it should, perhaps... but hey, if it's important to you...

What about just the time that we've laughed. Hugged. Had inside jokes.

Awwww... <3

So judge me now.

Okay!! :D

What about the good things I have done.

...completely off-topic to what you're getting so defensive about, but hey - it was a good read. Thanks for the heartwarming off-topic entertainment.

Am I a crazy psychotic bitch who needs counselling?

Yup! Pretty much!

Or do I just need more adjustment time for her having a legitamate relationship while we are still in one

...and one of the things that worries me about your mental health is that you phrase this as an either-or, when it's not, apparently as some sort of a defensive reaction.

...the cognitive distortion in question is called "splitting," incidentally, if you're interested in reading on psychology.

So... let's look at your message. You saw what you percieved to be an attack on your self image (eh? Fragile little ego, no?), based on your need to be of no less than perfect mental and emotional health (splitting : either perfect or worthless?), proceeded to drag up completely unrelated good deeds (splitting : if someone is not entirely evil, they must be entirely good) to 'prove' that you must be Jesus Christ himself on the subject of mental and emotional health and security (emotional reasoning, splitting)...

...I can promise you, if you always overreact this much to percieved threats to your ego - it's not only affecting your happiness, it's also affecting your relationships with others.

Just to clear up some misconceptions you seem to have - yes, a person can in fact be of suboptimal mental and emotional health for the actualization of their happiness and their relationships with others, and still be basically a good person... in fact, I'd honestly say that this describes the majority of people. Yes, a person can in fact have obstacles to their own happiness and well-being and not be a psycho axe-murderer who does what the voices in their head tell them at every opportunity... though some people say it's less fun. 'n not only can a person have obstacles to their health and happiness and still manage to basically function, fit in, and live a fairly normal life, but it happens quite often.

...if you overreact to everything which questions your identification with an unrealistic and self-contradictory image of what a person "should" be - or even if you have an image of what a person "should" be as a demand on your time, energy, and feelings of self-worth - to the degree you did here, it is going to put a drain on your time, your energy, your relationships with others, and your happiness for as long as you continue to maintain it. This does not affect me in the slightest. It somewhat affects your girlfriend, but she can just leave if she feels it is too great a problem to deal with - which, as I note, appears to comprise the topic which started this thread. Whether she is with you or not, however, there is one person who will never, ever leave you - and it will always affect your happiness, whatever happens.

If you care about her - and especially since the two of you are probably going to be the closest people in each others lives whether or not you're dating - you might want to stop worrying about if you're "good enough" and start working on securing the stability of your happiness, so you have more energy avaliable to attempt to contribute to hers.

~shrug~ Or, not. Like I said, it doesn't affect me in the slightest, and it's not going to do so for the entirety of the predictable future... the person it's going to affect most, in fact, is you. ~shrug~ Your call.

Have fun.