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My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add jb_mcbean to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-10, 13:19
jb_mcbean jb_mcbean is offline
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Scotland
Default I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

..and wondering why the hell I could smell tequila when I didn't drink any, when suddenly an inexplicable wave of serenity washed over me. Yes my friends, I have had an absolute moment of spiritual profoundness and clarity. A moment when I could actually feel Jesus inside me. I was about to turn around and ask the pervert to kindly get out of the bathroom, when I realised I just needed to shit.
Anyway spiritual profoundness and all that jazz, so if you to have been touched by an absolute moment of serenity whilst trying to piece together what happened last night then you to can share this wonderful moment with us in this new religious movement; "The Holy Church of the Spiritual Reconstitution Regurgitation and Aspirin of the Soul".

Here we do not base our religious order on the antiquitated methods of waiting for something to become so old it is eventually accepted as true, mostly because we can't remember what is actually true and what is not... We do not base our creation stories in mindless fairy tales but plant them firmly in a well known but much ignored science. It has been a well known fact for centuries that the less of last night you can remember the more likely it is that you have actually done something completely stupid. Taking this universal law and the recently discovered universal constant of the capacity for stupidity we have calculated that the universe was in fact created by a three day bender

So join us today and you may or may not recieve spiritual enlightenment 100% guaranteed.
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  #2   Add MRman to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-11, 00:21
MRman MRman is offline
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australia
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

gosh jb, you sure do love creating your own religions...

more to the point, i have never had such an experience... but if i do i shall be sure to tell you and possibly join
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  #3   Add jb_mcbean to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-11, 11:30
jb_mcbean jb_mcbean is offline
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Scotland
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

The last one was a religion, this is more a money making exercise. But don't tell anybody!
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  #4   Add MRman to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-12, 09:32
MRman MRman is offline
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australia
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

of course, i wont tell a soul

so you still prizist? or you give up on that?
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  #5   Add jb_mcbean to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-12, 14:25
jb_mcbean jb_mcbean is offline
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Scotland
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

Prizism is the path, but I have had my faith in the prize challenged in recent times.
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  #6   Add MRman to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-15, 04:31
MRman MRman is offline
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australia
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

gosh you poor lost soul, jump back on the train of prizism and find your prize!!!
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  #7   Add yoyobek to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-17, 10:53
yoyobek yoyobek is offline
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Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

Quote:
Originally Posted by jb_mcbean View Post
..and wondering why the hell I could smell tequila when I didn't drink any, when suddenly an inexplicable wave of serenity washed over me. Yes my friends, I have had an absolute moment of spiritual profoundness and clarity. A moment when I could actually feel Jesus inside me. I was about to turn around and ask the pervert to kindly get out of the bathroom, when I realised I just needed to shit.
Anyway spiritual profoundness and all that jazz, so if you to have been touched by an absolute moment of serenity whilst trying to piece together what happened last night then you to can share this wonderful moment with us in this new religious movement; "The Holy Church of the Spiritual Reconstitution Regurgitation and Aspirin of the Soul".
You know throwing up causes a flood of adrenaline, right?

I'm so addicting to this.
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  #8   Add jb_mcbean to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-17, 11:08
jb_mcbean jb_mcbean is offline
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Scotland
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

It can cause floods of other things too, believe me...
Do you want to join our new religious movement?
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  #9   Add chickenpoop to your ignore list  
Old 2007-07-18, 04:23
chickenpoop chickenpoop is offline
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NOVA
Default Re: I was bent over the toilet bowl this morning, puking my guts out..

it wasn't jesus you felt....it was the porcelain god you were praying to. I've knelt before and prayed to him many times, and made many offerings.
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