I'm sure some of you remember my past threads about that girl that invited me to smoke with her then we started hanging out but just smoking each other's weed. Well...I finally work up the balls (partially) to tell her how I feel and she responds: I don't know what to say. I'm kind of with someone right now. And something about repairing things with her ex boyfriend............what the fuck. It seemed to me like we connected so well but I guess I'm such a pathetic failure that I THOUGHT she liked me when it was all in my fucking head.....man it is just so god damn gay. I am socially retarded and I've never had a real relationship. I'm a virgin, and never done anything besides making out with a disgusting bitch I had no feelings for. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm 18 YEARS OLD? Wow, pretty sad huh? I need some help.


So what do you think she thinks now? This is exactly how the conversation went today by the way:

Setting: We were smoking in her car and we were just bullshitting you know.

We park for a while and there are many an awkward silence. This girl is top notch by the way, does drugs and is lots of fun. Really smart, red head but NOT a ginger. She would get the TOTSE seal of approval, I know this.

After lots of BS, I say "So...yeah....I kinda like you." I dunno if I said "SO Yeah, but I DEFINITELY said "I kinda like you." Lol. It makes me feel so fuckin dumb. . After that, she replied "I'm sorta with someone right now. I'm trying to fix things with my ex bf. So after that we just sat there for a bit...then I just kinda left. She said she would call me and that she would smoke me out again.....wtf. So she just likes me as a friend? Wtf? WTF? WTF??????? Is that what she's trying to get across? That's all I want to know.


BTW, I'm a human being so be nice. The good users will offer advice hopefully and the bad ones will be mean! And yeah I'm stoned if it isn't obvious.

SHit thats harsh, but it does sound like she only wants to be friends. Good to hear you took that big step and showing her your feelings, especially if your as socially inept as you say you are (not ment as an insult).

Just dont get to hung up on her, if she still has that flame for her ex then you dont really wana be with her anyway. Best of lukc with the friendship anyway just engoy her as a friend.

Never tell her you like her.

Do something together, sit near her, kiss her, make her like you.

Since you're past that stage I would go with ignoring her, make sure she calls you again first. Get a little more cocky and make fun of her more. Don't talk about anything romantic, but if you can tell she wants you to kiss her do it.

If you're having trouble getting the courage think of it this way. She'll stop you if she doesn't want you to, and if she didn't and it got all awkward fuck it.

And like the other guy said, it doesn't sound like she's not interested in you, she's just being retarded with her ex. Stay out of that shit, don't give her advice about it or you'll fall into the friend category.

If she turned you down, but you think she's still cool enough to hang out with, push away the sexual feelings you have for her. It's hard, but she doesn't see you as a potential sex partner, so try and forget about it.

dude, stop crying over her, go find yourself another chick.

"there are plenty of fish in the sea".

you just gottah have the right bait, my good friend.

Dude don't feel bad I had almost the same thing happen with this chick I met about 2 years ago. We met when I was homeless and living under a fucking bridge! We just started hanging out and she'd come visit me everyday and we'd smoke and drink and get really fucked up together. Then my life started improving and just when I figured I wasn't too much of loser to ask this chick out she pulled the same shit on me and I felt like shit.

But I got over it and we've been really good friends (for about 2 years) ever since, still hang out and get fucked up together. Don't be to hard on yourself.

Good advice so far...

When you're attracted to someone, try more so to tell her with your actions as opposed to words.

There isn't any point in having sexual feelings for someone who sees you as just a friend, or having a 'friend' that you want to fuck. It all leads to unhappiness.

Drugs can also really fuck with socially by creating delusions and making situations harder to read alltogether. I'm a guy who spent most of his teenagehood high on "something - mostly weed, but also shrooms, e, coke, etc." so I've learned this the hard way. All I do now is blaze the occasional joint. Drug addict chicks are the worst for not knowing what they want/should want.

You're probably not as much of a loser as you think, you just need a normal relationship, less chronic and less association with girls that are chronics!

Dont be so hard on yourself. Shit, im 20 and have never gone past making out with some slutty bitch that i had no feelings for either! I guess my problem is I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK, and i dont really try to go after women anymore. Plus since i got out of HS i dont chill with anyone anymore, so i dont really know any females. Which all of the women around my area are FUCKING BITCHES, so i dont even know if i want to deal with these slutty cunts!

In my opinion 100mg's of roxicodone (IV) is way better than sex (orgasm for like 6 hours).

Long live the Opiate!

The trick here is to not worry about it. Lots of people, guys and girls, are in your position, all going through the same thing every day.

This girl does like you, it just probably never crossed her mind to see you as a potential sex partner. She's obviously far more experienced in the relationship world, what with having ex's and such, and has all of that on her plate.

It's not that she doesn't like you, she obviously does. It's just that it wouldn't be right, or fit in with her life to have a relationship with you right now.

Once you lose the fear, this will all make sense to you. Now, ignore her and concentrate on something else. This will all work out fine, trust us.

Once you lose the fear, this will all make sense to you. Now, ignore her and concentrate on something else. This will all work out fine, trust us.

That's like telling a patient "You're going to live through the brain surgery, no worries".

You really think him just ignoring her will make it better? I agree, it's the best course of action right now, but will it work out? Who knows.

(then again, stab is smarter than me, so maybe he's onto something.

Maybe get away from the drugs?

LOL, is it me or is this the only advice that isn't any good?

By the way, stab, you seem like you really know what you're talking about. For me, figuring out the role fear plays in the sexual/relationship game was a key step in understanding how to approach girls. But my technique is far from perfect so if you ever want to spill some more of that knowledge... feel free. I'm looking out for your threads.

I am socially retarded and I've never had a real relationship. I'm a virgin, and never done anything besides making out with a disgusting bitch I had no feelings for. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm 18 YEARS OLD?

thats your problem. youre too goddamn negative. dont worry about getting laid or it will never happen.

Thanks for the kind words of advice everyone.

Yeah I know smoking weed is stupid I smoke it every day and I spend all my money on it...but oh well. I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. Ignore her? I'll let her initiate the next conversation, if that's what you mean. Let you know how it goes.

That's like telling a patient "You're going to live through the brain surgery, no worries".

Well, aside from the obvious differences in brain surgery being potentially life-threatening and this not (despite what the emos and whingers say), yes that's exactly what I'm saying.

The surgeon knows what to do, and when you're passed out on the table, your life is in his hands. There's no use not trusting his skills because you have no control over the situation. The only thing you have control of is your own thoughts in preparation to the surgery, so you might as well make them useful.

Same deal here. Here we see a man with no control over the situation. He made his move, which is good (that's an important first step OP), and he was left wanting. The ball was in her court and she put a little top spin on it before whipping it down the line and out of play. Game, female.

Not only is it the best thing for him to do in this situation, that being not so much ignoring her but (mate you MUST do this, although it's very bloody difficult) resisting the urge to spill his feelings, call her constantly, and most importantly sit around and think about her. This has sent men crazy before, and I was not immune.

But you do grow that immunity. You grow it from hard knocks like this. I'm not smarter than anyone here, I'm probably just a little more progressed. You all will be too, and some people will be offended by that comment but I'm not trying to bignote here. I've just got a lot of praise here, and really, it's for stuff you're all going to learn anyway.

Now, back to Ryk's original question (by the way, I recognise your name and I do read your posts). As I said, yes, it's exactly like the situation you described, for reasons I've already told. You admit it's the best course of action. Even I don't know whether it will work out or not. That's up to the layered, complex and often incomprehensible chicken dance of life.

By the way, stab, you seem like you really know what you're talking about. For me, figuring out the role fear plays in the sexual/relationship game was a key step in understanding how to approach girls. But my technique is far from perfect so if you ever want to spill some more of that knowledge... feel free. I'm looking out for your threads.

I'll keep an eye out for you too, thanks for the kind words. However, considering your self-assessment, I'd rank our knowledge and skills quite similarly. Don't put me on a pedestal now, I'll slip and that's a long fall. :)

Yeah I know smoking weed is stupid I smoke it every day and I spend all my money on it...but oh well. I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. Ignore her? I'll let her initiate the next conversation, if that's what you mean. Let you know how it goes.

Don't worry about smoking weed, more people than you'd think smoke it every day and hold down normal lives. As long as you feel comfortable with your use (based on the effect it has on YOUR life, not what other people say it might or might not do, or even their opinions on it) then don't stop. Don't be above tweaking it if you need to, though.

Oh and I forgot (so I edit), yes, that's exactly what I meant. Let her initiate the next conversation, your words exactly. You got a good head on your shoulders, just strengthen your heart and you'll be fine (this is the shit they don't teach in school, be aware of it).

gogetalife, I'll tell you a secret: It sounds like you're right on target for being 18.

And remember: your twenties are for fucking all the wrong people.

So she just likes me as a friend? Wtf? WTF? WTF???????

Wtf? WTF? WTF

I've been there man. I think the thing is that when all you do is smoke pot with someone, you feel like you are more connected than you really are. I totally thought I loved this chick, but as soon as the drugs ran out, we had nothing in common.

I find squid or dead cod work well.:D

Seems like you feel on the friends zone, sorry dude, once youre in there, its impossible to get out and actually date her, but you can try what this nice website says:

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Friend_Zone

take your own advice gogettalife....

Don't worry about smoking weed, more people than you'd think smoke it every day and hold down normal lives. As long as you feel comfortable with your use (based on the effect it has on YOUR life, not what other people say it might or might not do, or even their opinions on it) then don't stop. Don't be above tweaking it if you need to, though.

For some people who got their shit somewhat together and feel socially comfortable, confident and good overall, toking isn't a serious problem.

For someone who thinks they're a loser because they they feel socially retarded, don't know how to get laid, etc...It Is. Going back to whoever said that being stoned makes you sense a connection when there isn't, it's very true. The high mind will try it hardest to read into situations that sometimes, aren't even there. Sorry guys, I hate to sound like an anti-drug person (I'm really not). I just hate hearing about scenerios where they lose their recreational edge and become part of handicap.

ya im sure u psyched yourself up pretty hard to tell her your feelings, but next time just be straight up, dont be a pussy.

forget about this girl, it will be hard cause you wasted your time, but you gotta find new peeps.

Holy shit man your way to hard on yourself, that attitude is the worst for getting girls if you walk around thinking, "man do I suck at life ill never have a girlfriend" you are gonna end up never getting a girl and feeling like shit all the time. You gotta have confidence, seriously if your confident enough in yourself but not cocky you can do anything just try it think about how awesome you are and you arnt scared of anything people will notice a diffrence and a good one if you do that trust me.
And if you still fail at first dont let it phaze you just brush it off and try again or you wont get anywhere.

Why do you think this is my username? Lol.

I'm just trying to get some help since I feel like I could use some.

...

So you say I have no life... : ( duh. My life revolves around smoking weed and working at burger king.

wow thats sad.

Life's a bitch at the best of times mate.

Really and truly, it could have gone a LOT worse...Trust me. At least in your situation she was honest enough to tell you she was trying to sort something out with her ex. And then she went and offered you friendship.

Believe me mate, a friend is far better than nothing.

If it had been worse, it coulda gone like "Erm...You're just really not my type and I only love you as a friend/brother" then goes on to bore the shit out of you with amusing little stories about what she and her significant other got up to in bed the night before, which makes you want to wring her neck, kick her out the car, strip her down, kick her again, make her eat a stone and ask her if she feels as bad as you now.

That one's a bad one.

Keep your head up and roll with the punches dude. You'll get there sooner or later. Just keep trying.

first things first, never call yourself a loser. thats fucked up because i know you have won at least one thing in your life. that was when you were a little sperm and you raced to the egg, and guess what? you won that fucking race man. all those other sperms are fucking dead because you are a winner. seriously though, this is one little bump in your life and everything is going to be fine in a little while. everyone has hard times, the true test of life is how you come out of it. you are going to come out of it too and you just have to remember everything is going to be ok. just go out, drink some beers with friends and forget about the whole thing. who knows, maybe the girl feels the same and just doesnt know how to express it. give it time and just be cool